Kiss List (6 page)

“What do you want?” he asked warily.

I thought about it and then said, “If I win, you have to take your shirt off wherever and whenever I tell you to all month. And you have to go on a date with me.”

David looked surprised. Then he said, “Dang, I should have thought of that.”

“Why Mr. Reagan,” I exclaimed, “I thought you were too much of a gentleman to say something like that.”

David shook his head. “You’re unbelievable. You took my shirt, didn’t you?” he said.

“What can I say?” I said with upturned palms. “I’ve gotten fond of those abs.”

Luckily, several gym mats were folded up against the wall so people could stretch on them when necessary. We unfolded the maps in the middle of the floor of the therapy room. Then we started with a basic wrestling stance. David taught me where to put my feet and hands and how to arch my back. He told me to bend my knees so I had a low center of gravity. Then he taught me how to do set up takedowns after doing something called drop steps.

“Now I’ll teach you the double-leg takedown,” David said. “You’re going to do a drop step and then grab the backs of my thighs. Pull them towards you as you drive your head and shoulders into my waist. You’ll be pulling my legs and knees one way and forcing my body backwards. It’s an effective takedown maneuver.”

Finally, and excuse to touch him. I wrapped my arms around the backs of his legs and pushed my shoulders into his hips. Nothing happened but I got to brush his lower abs with my cheek. They felt good. I tried to lift him up to throw him down but he felt like a ton of bricks and wouldn’t budge.

David laughed. “You need to try harder than that,” he said. “Don’t worry, I won’t break. You’re not going to pick me up, just try to knock me over.”

I took a step back and then threw myself into the drop step and takedown. I smacked into his waist hard and this time and I felt him sway backwards. I pulled up with my hands as hard as I could and he toppled over. I landed on his bare chest.

“Good!” he praised me. “Let’s try it again.”

I’ll admit that I took my time getting up and may have been a tad liberal with where I put my hands as I did.

We repeated the drill over and over again until I could take David down with ease. Then the real fun started; he started teaching me different holds. David was mostly too shy to perform the holds on me and when he did he was always careful about where he put his hands. I was the opposite. If I was doing a hold on him I took the opportunity to feel as much skin as possible. I slid my hands over his rippling muscles with hidden glee.

I have no idea how much time went by. I felt like I was in a daze. David was amazing with me. He quickly grew more and more comfortable with giving instruction and being in command. His voice lost all signs of shyness and embarrassment and became authoritative. It was even sexier than his aw-shucks act.

I wanted to show him that I was interested in what he was teaching me so I asked as many questions as I could think of. When I ran out of pointers to ask about, I started asking him to show me some advanced holds. I really wanted him to put his hands on me so I kept pushing him to show me more and more holds. “What are some of the most advanced or embarrassing holds in wrestling?” I asked and then I made him describe them to me. He told me about the cradle and the spladle and the double grapevine. It was easy to picture why the spladle was also called the “banana split” when he told me about it but I couldn’t figure out why the double grapevine was nicknamed the “Saturday Night Ride.” When I asked David what it meant he got really red and wouldn’t say. He described them all in detail to me and showed me how they started out but to my dismay he wouldn’t show me the rest.

“Okay,” he finally said. “I think you’re ready for our little match.”

“You’re going down, pretty boy,” I said as we faced off against each other.

David was quick.
Too quick. Before I could even move he had grabbed my legs. He lifted me into the air and set me down on the mat gently. “Give up?” he asked with a smile as he looked down at me.

Apparently he didn’t know how competitive I was. If he thought I was a damsel in distress, he was greatly mistaken. I let out a war cry and hurled myself at him. He laughed as we rolled across the mat.

Every time I tried a move he would spin away and counter. I felt like I was fighting a phantom. Then he started moving me around so that each time I tried to pin him I was somehow the one that ended up lying on my back looking up at him. He was toying with me and I knew it. He had a broad smile on his face. I was definitely enjoying it as well but that didn't mean I was willing to lose. After all, being able to make a gorgeous guy take his shirt off whenever I wanted was a pretty amazing power to have.

The next time I landed on my back I saw my chance. David rested on all fours above me with his legs straddling my knees and his hands on either side of my torso. “Give up?” he asked again with a smirk.

Instead of answering him I brought my knee up sharply like I was going to strike him in the groin.

David’s eyes flew open wide in panic. He reacted instinctively by cupping both hands around his crotch. I knew that his mind didn’t bother to consider that he was already wearing a protective cup. It just processed a threat and recalled that the expected target had endured far too much pain for one day.

The diversion was just what I needed. I jumped up and hooked my left leg around his right ankle. I reached for his other ankle like he had taught me to do.

David quickly bent down to rest his right arm against the mat to stabilize himself and protect against my attempt to roll him. That’s when his instructions came screaming into my mind.
Spladle! The move was perfect for this situation based on what David had told me.

I didn’t have time to run through it in my head. I had been in many situations like this before in soccer and had learned never to hesitate. I move as quickly as David’s directions flashed through my mind. Step 1: grab his left ankle. I leaned over him and seized his ankle. Step 2: roll him and splay his legs. I threw my body weight to the right and pulled David over top of me. As I did I pulled his left ankle one way and spread his right ankle the other way with my leg. Step 3: lock it in. I put my hands around David’s left thigh and pried his leg even farther in that direction. Then I shifted my other leg so that it was inside David’s right knee and hooked my knee inside his. Then I laid back and admired my handiwork.

David’s back and head were lying perpendicular across my abs. His hands were flailing uselessly above his head. His body was doubled up sharply at the waist so that his butt was sticking up into the air and his legs were spread wide apart like he was doing the splits. I had locked this tall, lean, shirtless stud-muffin up and rendered him completely helpless.

I couldn’t help it. I giggled excitedly at my victory. “Well?” I asked. “Do you give up?”

There was silence for a moment and then I heard him say “Yes, I give up.” He said the words quietly and I instantly sensed that something was wrong. Of course. He had been humiliated in front of me and I had just built him up a little to tear him right back down. I instantly released him and knelt beside him.

“David, I’m so sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to...”

David sat up and reached out with his hand. He brushed my cheek and then gently pulled my head closer to meet his lips. We kissed and then laid down on the mats and kissed some more. I felt his shirtless body on top of me and rubbed my hands over his muscles as the passionate kiss continued forever.

I half thought days had passed by the time we finally left the therapy room. David had to put his running bag back so I followed him back into the boy’s locker room. I scrunched up my nose as the stench hit me.

David put his stuff in his locker and then went back to Sam’s to drop the jockstrap off. He hesitated in front of Sam’s locker, however, as if a thought had just occurred to him.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Wait here,” he said. He dropped the jockstrap on the bench beside the locker and jogged out of the locker room. He returned a couple minutes later with a jar of gel. I recognized it instantly as the same type of topical gel I applied to my skin after sports injuries. The chemicals in the gel told the nerve receptors in the skin that the gel was ice cold and then hot. Very hot. The gel could be painful on the skin of one’s arm. In a more sensitive spot, the gel would be almost unbearable.

David pulled open the pouch of the jockstrap and retrieved a plastic cup from inside.

“What are you doing?” I asked again.

“It’s an old prank,” David said.
“IcyHot in the jockstrap. If you do it this way the prankee won’t feel the gel. After a while, though, the heat and the friction of a workout will make the gel seep through and coat the skin underneath. Sam should start feeling the uncomfortable sensation a few minutes into his workout.”

“It won’t hurt him permanently, will it?” I asked.

“No,” David scoffed. “Guys do it all the time. The amount of gel you could put in the cup would not do any permanent damage, it’ll just tell his brain that he is uncomfortable. Ridiculously uncomfortable.”

“Okay then
give me the cup,” I said. I dipped my hand into the jar and scrapped out a massive wad of gel.

“Don’t put that much in,” David warned. “It’s way too much. Sam will feel it before he even gets out of the locker room and he’ll be able to clean out his cup. It’s better if you catch him when he’s outside.”

“Don’t worry,” I said as I caked the cup with layer upon layer of gel until it was nearly full of the stuff. “I’ve got a plan.”

Sam was the first one down to the locker room. He arrived 20 minutes before the final period had finished, suggesting he had skipped out early. I didn’t blame him. He was probably as eager as we were to avoid talking about the fight.

David and I ducked behind a table in the therapy room as Sam walked past the window. He didn’t even bother looking in. I figured he wouldn’t but it was always good to have a plan work out. We waited a few minutes and then when we were sure Sam was in the locker room we tiptoed out of the therapy room.

I reached out and taped a handwritten sign to the door. “Locker room closed due to flooding. Please change in restrooms,” it said. We didn’t want anyone disturbing us. David reached toward the door handle but I stopped him by putting a hand on his chest.

“Wait!” I whispered.

“What for?” he whispered back.

“Take your shirt off,” I said.

David looked at me like I was crazy. “Are you serious? Like right now?” he said.

“You have to do it,” I hissed. “You lost the bet.”

David rolled his eyes but he reached up and tugged his shirt off. I stared wistfully at
those beautiful abs while he tapped his foot impatiently. “Okay, are you done ogling me now?” David said. “I feel dirty.”

“Almost,” I said as I eyed him up and down. “Okay, let’s go now.”

We snuck into the locker room. I slipped into a door frame and hugged the door as closely as I could. I could see Sam just around the edge of the frame. He was also shirtless and was just tightening the belt on his baseball pants. Perfect.

David brushed past me and walked directly towards Sam. Then Sam’s eye’s flickered up and he caught sight of David. His lips curled into a nasty smile. “Numb nuts!” he exclaimed. “Good to see you buddy. Come by for a hug? Or maybe...”

Sam did not get another word out because at that moment David promptly tackled him. He grabbed Sam’s ankle and hooked his leg around Sam’s other ankle. Then he flipped over and dragged Sam into a spladle just like we had discussed.

Sam was squealing in confusion and pain and trying to thrash about as I walked up to them. “Hey Sammy,” I said. He looked up and glared at me through his legs.

I tried to restrain the urge to burst out in laughter but it was impossible. The star of the school baseball team looked ridiculous. He was clearly trying to look like a tough guy but that was pretty difficult to pull off with his butt waving in the air and his legs being pulled apart like a wishbone. Still, I couldn’t help but admire the view. These two gorgeous shirtless males were lying together on the floor with Sam’s head resting on David’s lower abs just below the belly button. David’s muscles rippled from the effort of immobilizing Sam and pulling Sam’s legs farther and farther apart. Even though he was staring daggers at me, Sam looked amazing as well. His abs were equally chiseled and his butt looked fantastic in his tight baseball pants. His face, though contorted, was still very cute.

Well, I wasn’t here to just ogle the boys, as David had pointed out. I raised my hand and revealed a little something I had brought from the girls’ locker room. It was a hair drier.

Sam’s face changed from anger to confusion as I plugged the hair drier into an outlet next to the struggling boys. “What... what are you doing?” he asked uncertainly.

I casually flicked the hair drier onto its highest power and hottest temperature. I had made sure to borrow Becky Larson’s hair drier from her locker. It was powerful enough to sap the energy from an entire city and produce hurricane-force winds. I sat on the bench next to the boys and pointed the hair drier directly at Sam’s crotch. His look of confusion turned to one of alarm as I lowered the hair drier until it tapped against the protective cup nestled between his legs just under his pants.

“Well,” I said conversationally as the hair drier blew air hotter than the surface of the sun into Sam’s crotch. “We weren’t too happy with you. You hurt my friends and then you acted like a coward and kicked David in the groin. Do you know how serious that is? You could have caused permanent damage and sterility. It would have affected his entire life. You could get into all sorts of trouble for that. I’m very serious. Luckily, it looks like he is recovering well, but we wanted to make sure we got the point across to you. We wanted to ensure that you do not do anything like that again and that you apologize to the people you hurt. Also, and this part is a bit selfish, we wanted to get a bit of revenge. So, what we did was we coated the inside of your little cup with IcyHot. A lot of IcyHot. Like, pretty much the entire jar. I am actually kind of surprised you were able to squeeze anything else into the cup. Anyway, right now the heat from this blow drier is melting all that IcyHot gel so that it seeps through the lining of your jockstrap. You are being good enough to put up a struggle so all that gel is getting amply spread across your... well, I guess we’re calling them boys now. Are you feeling a cool minty sensation?”

Now Sam looked really worried. His eyes widened and he redoubled his efforts. It was no use. David had him trapped and from the look of the happy smile on David’s face it didn’t look like he was going to let Sam go anytime soon.

I waited. Sam suddenly froze and then his eyes widened ever further. He grimaced and then bit his lip. “What do you want?” he asked. The words spilled out of his mouth a bit too quickly.

“I take it the heat is starting to set in,” I said. “Good. I’ll tell you what I want. I want peace on earth. I want to watch pretty sunsets and have good health for me and my entire family...”

“What do you want from me?” Sam blurted out. He was starting to pant and beads of perspiration were forming on his skin.

“Oh, I see, I’m so glad you clarified,” I said, speaking slowly. Watching Sam squirm was proving to be great fun. “Well, first I want you to apologize to Dylan. And it better be a very nice apology.”

“Done!” Sam said loudly. “Can I go now?”

“This is good Sam,” I said. “You’re being very polite. I think we’re getting somewhere.
Just a few more things. Secondly, I want you to apologize to David.”

“I’m sorry,” Sam said immediately. “Can I go?”

“Hmm...” I said. “I’m not sure I believed that. How about you, David? Did you believe that apology?”

“Didn’t seem very sincere to me,” David said.

“Okay, okay!” Sam cried. “Please! I’m sorry. It was a really jackass thing to do. I just lost control.”

“And you’ll never do it again?” I said.

“Ahhh! Never! I swear!” Sam squealed. He was squirming around like crazy now. The gel was working its magic but I knew that the pain was going to get even worse the longer I waited. Much worse.

“Okay, you seem to be earnest about this,” I mused. “I’m just going to get a little insurance to make sure that you are.”

I took out a pink whiteboard marker I had found in the therapy room and started drawing little hearts on Sam’s chest. I drew a big smiley face on his abs and turned his belly button into the nose. His abs were so well defined that the smiley face looked a little lumpy but it would suffice. Then I took out a black marker and turned my attention to his face. “Hold still,” I said. “The more you squirm the longer it will take me to get this right.”

Sam’s entire body was now glistening with sweat. I could tell that he wanted to squirm but he tried his best to hold still for me, wanting this to be over. I took great care in coloring his nose and making sure that the cat whiskers I gave him were just right.

I stepped back to admire my work. I was very pleased with the final result. Then I got out my phone. “Say cheese!” I said as I snapped photos of the two boys.

“What are you going to do with those pictures?” Sam exclaimed. His voice cracked halfway through the sentence so that ended in a very high pitch. Then he couldn’t contain himself anymore. “
Ahhhhh!!!” he screamed. “My balls are on fire. Please!!!”

“Nothing so long as you are good,” I said calmly. “If I hear that you have apologized sincerely to Dylan and you are very respectful and kind to girls and all my friends, this will be our little secret. I think you are a great guy deep down, Sam. I really liked you when I first met you. You just liked your friends and your reputation more. Maybe now that you know how much your actions can hurt people, you will act differently. If you do, this photo will never see the light of day. If you don’t, this photo is going everywhere. I will personally post it online and distribute it around school. I can probably sell it to a lot of girls around here. They’re dying for photos of you shirtless. This one would be a dream come true for them. Of course, I’m sure there are a lot of guys on the baseball and other sports teams who would love to get a hold of this as well to take you down a peg or two. It’ll be viral. You know, these
days photos can follow you around your whole life.”

“I promise!!!” Sam squealed. It was clear that enduring a couple minutes of stinging gel was too much for him.
So much for males being the tougher sex. If boys had to put up with some of the things that girls went through... well, maybe they would be a tad less cocky all the time.

“Alright David, I think we can let him go.”

David released Sam. The baseball player scrambled to the shower room as quickly as he could. A moment later we heard the water running. David winced. “That’s not going to be a fun shower,” he said.

We left the locker room and took the sign off the door. David put his shirt back on just in time for the first athletes to come streaming down the stairs. The school day was over. We waited off to the side for someone to tell us that the principal was looking for us or that we had been suspended or even expelled. Instead, no one paid us much attention. Students streamed by us and a few said hi. Then Coach
Dumfy noticed me and demanded to know why I wasn’t rushing to get on the field.

“It looks like we’re not in trouble,” I said in wonderment.

“Yeah, looks that way,” David said, sounding equally amazed. “I thought for sure I’d get in trouble for tackling those guys. Maybe they didn’t rat me out. Heck, they might not have even remembered it was me. There was a lot going on.”

“You?”
I said. “They should give you an award. I’m the one who should be suspended.”

“Why you?” he said. “You didn’t do anything. I thought you said that Sam punched Dylan and that kicked things off.”

“Sure,” I said, “but I guess I was the reason behind it. All for a stupid game.”

As soon as the words were out of my mouth I wished I could take them back. Why had I mentioned the game? I didn’t want David to know about the kiss list, not now.

David’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “What game?” he asked.

“Look,” I said. “I need to get to soccer. We shouldn’t talk about this here. I know you deserve an explanation. Let’s meet sometime tomorrow to discuss it.”

I reached out to hold David’s hand but he jerked it away. “What game?” he repeated loudly.

I stared at his stony face and realized that I needed to tell him. I owed him that much. I cleared my throat uneasily and then began. “Last week a few of my friends and I made a list of some of the most eligible boys in the school. The ones we thought were really cute, nice... that sort of thing. We drew cards and I got the high card so that meant I was the one who had to go around and kiss all the boys on the list. Oh, I know that sounds silly and dumb and doesn’t make sense but it did at the time, somehow. I kissed Sam but then I had an argument with him and then I kissed Dylan and you but Sam was upset and started the fight with Dylan. I know it’s so stupid now but I am really sorry and I like you and I want...”

“So the only reason you even talked to me was so that you could check me off your list?” David interrupted incredulously.

“No!” I said. This was not coming out right. “Well, yes, but then I realized I really liked you. I...”

“I can’t believe this,” David said angrily. “I thought you actually liked me but in fact the only reason why you were interested in me is what? A stupid bet you made with your friends? Over some sort of card game? Why were you giving Sam a hard time? You’re just as guilty as he is.”

“No David, you’ve got it wrong, let me explain.”

I didn’t get a chance. David turned and walked away from me as fast as he could.