Kiss of Fire (St. James Family) (27 page)

“
About fucking time!” Sean bellowed when O'Donovan and Brigid walked around the side of the house to the pool. The kids screamed in the pool, splashing around, and the dogs barked from inside the house. It was rowdy as always. No room for quiet contemplation, which was exactly what he didn't want. O'Donovan took Brigid's hand and lead her over to his brother, who stood in front of the grill.

“
Who is this lovely vision from heaven?” Sean asked, tossing O'Donovan an ice-cold beer from the open cooler.

“
Sean, this is Brigid. Brigid, Sean,” O'Donovan made the introductions, cracking open the beer.

“
Maddy! Come over here and meet Brigid!” Sean yelled at his wife, who was across the yard by the kitchen door.

“
I made a potato salad,” Brigid said holding up the foil-covered bowl.

“
Maddy! She made potato salad!” Sean screamed.

“
Oh yummo!” Maddy screamed back, rubbing sunscreen on the youngest kid's back.

“
I'll take it to the table,” Brigid said, shooting O'Donovan a smile and then making her way over to Maddy.

“
Wow, mate. Seriously? Hot piece of A,” Sean said, flipping a burger, like he was a frat boy instead of a 42-year-old father of three. O'Donovan rolled his shoulders again, a drop of sweat making its way between his shoulder-blades.

“
She's a schoolteacher,” O'Donovan said, not knowing what else to say.

“
Nice,” Sean said, guzzling his beer.

“
How's everything around here?” O'Donovan said, looking around at the yard.

“
Need a new roof. Erin needs braces. I'm broker than a motherfucker, but what else is new?” his brother said. “How's the city?”

“
The same.”

“
How're the boys at the 163?”

“
Same. Everything's the same.” O'Donovan glanced back at Brigid, who was helping Maddy with the kids.

“
Not everything. That's the first girl you brought around since Queen Gwendolyn.” Sean nudged O'Donovan with his elbow. “Wife material, right? You ready to get hitched again, little brother?” O'Donovan shrugged. “Don't let Maddy hear you talking like that. She'll be yacking your ear off about flower arrangements and church dates before you know it.”

“
Remember when you told me not to marry Gwen?” O'Donovan said.

“
A lot of good that did,” Sean said with a burst of laughter. “I beat your ass though.”

“
You didn't beat my ass,” O'Donovan said, temporarily distracted. “But that doesn't matter. I just want to say that you were right.”

“
No shit, Sherlock,” Sean said.

“
I was a fucking idiot,” O'Donovan said, downing the rest of his beer.

“
What else is new, little brother?” Sean said with a laugh. “Meat's done!” he yelled and the kids cheered with excitement.

Dinner passed with no incident, beyond one of the dogs getting loose and stealing a hamburger. Sean's cop buddies showed up, their wives and kids in tow. Maddy and Brigid talked up a storm about God knows what. O'Donovan couldn't pay attention, although he tried. The kids squirmed around the table, screaming and arguing. Sean babbled on about sports stats and cop talk with his friends, and O'Donovan would smile and nod and laugh when it was necessary.

As the sun went down and the kids ran around with sparklers in the yard, O'Donovan sat in a lawn chair by the fence, trying to resist the urge to get another beer. He was drinking too much, and he knew it, but he was exhausted from acting like he was enjoying himself. His back ached and his head pounded. Maddy brought out desserts, store bought pies and vanilla ice-cream, and it was stupid, but he couldn't even look at the pies without feeling like he was going to puke. His stomach roiling, he set his head back and watched the kids run around the yard instead, the sparklers lighting up their grubby little faces. He couldn't stop himself from imagining Toni running around in the dark night, laughing and dancing along with them.

That night, with Brigid asleep in his bed, he wandered out into the living room and sprawled on the couch, butt-naked. The anger still simmered under his skin, and it was making him restless. He couldn't sleep and he was tired of tossing and turning in the stifling bedroom. The living room wasn't much cooler, but he felt like he could breathe in there, at least. He rolled over onto his side, finding his phone on the table. He swiped through to the home screen, his thumb hovering over the call button. But there was no way in hell he was going to call Toni after fucking Brigid. That was too much, despite the fact that the need to hear her voice was slowly driving him insane. He wasn't that much of an asshole.

So he did the second best thing. He clicked around, finding the video he'd shot of Toni in the dance studio. The video had gotten him through several sleepless nights, rewinding and replaying until he finally gave up and closed his eyes. As soon as he pressed play, he felt his lips curl into a smile and his body relax. Seeing her after a long day felt good, and he didn't really care to over think why exactly that was.

“
What are you doing?” she asked, her arms stretched above her head.

“
Nothing.” His voice was muffled.

“
You're filming me!” She caught his eye in the mirror, laughing.

Her laugh sent a chill down his spine. He brought the phone close to his face, the light from the screen so bright it hurt his eyes. He watched her dance, her movements smooth, the muscles rippling under her skin. When he snuck up behind her and caught her in his arms, he loved the way her face lit up. He wondered if she was already in love that night in the dance studio. He turned the sound down low, watching her face as she kissed him, and he thought maybe she was. He wondered when she'd fallen for him. What was the exact moment? He replayed the video, looking for answers, but found none. He let the video play through to the end, and he stared at the blank screen, wondering how long would it take him to get over her. In the darkness, with only a video for comfort, he had the ominous feeling he never would.

***

“
Toni? Toni St. James!” The liquid smooth voice caught Toni's ear, even though she was staring off in to space, not paying much attention at all. She glanced up, her eyes scouring the coffee shop. Her gaze stopped on a well-dressed blonde, who was waving and hurrying over. Toni's heart sunk when she realized it was Gwen, O'Donovan's ex-wife. “Small world. Of all the Starbucks in the city, right?” Gwen said, laughing as she tucked her sunglasses into her Kate Spade bag.

“
Right,” Toni said, in nowhere near as sunny of a mood.

“
You know what's so funny? I saw Bastian at the ballet and I said to myself, why would he be at the ballet of all places? And then I looked in the program and lo and behold, there was your name.”

“
You saw him at the ballet? When?” Toni said, sharper than she'd intended.

“
Oh, awhile ago. He must really like you if he'd go to the ballet.” Gwen waved her hand and scrunched up her nose. “That's how he is.”

“
He's a good sport,” Toni said curtly, turning her head toward the counter, wishing her coffee would materialize so she could make her getaway. But the line in front of her was long, and she cursed her bad luck.

“
I used to drag him to those kinds of things all the time. He could be a real pushover when he thought he was going to get lucky afterwards.” Gwen leaned in, her voice low, like they were sharing a secret. “But in the end, it cost me. He resented me for trying to turn him into something he wasn't.”

“
What did you think of the show?” Toni asked, changing the subject with a bright smile.

“
Well, you've seen
Sleeping Beauty
once, you've seen it a million times. But your solo was a highlight,” Gwen said. “You brought an extra, I don't know, sassiness to the choreography. I've never seen the movements quite like that before.”

This bitch-!
Toni looked at her sharply, but tamped down the anger because she didn't want to cause a scene in her favorite Starbucks, where the baristas all knew just how she liked her coffee. So she laughed, because it was the only thing she could do.

“
Do you dance?” Toni asked, keeping her voice light.

“
When I was younger. But I didn't have the right stuff.” Gwen said, dragging her eyes down Toni's front. “I don't have your legs.”

“
I've been blessed,” Toni said, moving forward as the line shortened.

“
So I guess Bastian didn't mention seeing me at the ballet?” Gwen continued. “He can be secretive when he wants to be.”

“
No, he didn't. It was a busy night,” Toni drummed her fingers on the countertop.

“
Hmm,” Gwen murmured, lifting her perfectly sculpted eyebrows.

“
Toni, come get your coffee, girl!” Chanda, the barista chirped out, and Toni breathed a sigh of relief. She smiled at Chanda as she grabbed her coffee.

“
About damn time,” she teased, and Chanda gave her a faux-offended look.

“
You better watch out, next time I'm gonna switch your dark roast for light,” Chanda said. “You know I will!”

“
Yeah, uh huh, we'll see,” Toni said, waving her off. “See you tomorrow.”

“
See ya, girl.”

Toni turned, ready to say goodbye as well to Gwen, but Gwen had other ideas.

“
Hold on one second, please?” she begged, pouting out her lip.

“
Actually, I'm kind of in a hurry—” Toni said but was interrupted by Chanda barking out another order.

“
Venti iced green tea with two Splendas!”

“
That's me!” Gwen said, grabbing her order off the counter. “We can walk out together.”

“
Oh,” Toni said, suppressing an eye-roll. “Okay.” She threw Chanda another wave and then followed Gwen out into the summer sunshine.

“
I just wanted to say that I hope it wasn't weird, that day in the park,” Gwen said, digging around for her sunglasses again.

“
No, wasn't weird.” Toni gritted her teeth, a pain hitting her in-between the ribs when she thought about it. That day had been such a wonderful day, despite seeing Gwen. She and O'Donovan had walked home from the park, stopping at a bar and staying out late, meeting new people and drinking too much. When they finally got back to Nat's, they collapsed in the guest bedroom, undressing each other slowly. O'Donovan had made love to her so soft and sweet and then they'd fallen asleep in each other's arms. It was a perfect moment in time. Truly. And it was the last thing she wanted to think about, now that everything had turned to crap.

“
It's just...” Gwen stepped closer, her mouth in a tight line. “We didn't get divorced very long ago and when I saw him with you, I just had a few questions.” Toni stared at her, knowing that Gwen wanted her to press for more information, but she wasn't in the mood to play. After a moment of silence, Gwen continued. “It wouldn't be the first time that he...cheated on me. I wasn't sure how long you two had been together. Or whatever.”

“
Gwen, I'm not sure what you're trying to say, but O'Donovan was divorced when we—” Toni felt her throat close up, and she coughed. “When we got together. So no worries.”

“
I'm not trying to say anything,” Gwen tittered, looking away and taking a sip from her green tea. “It's just...you know, Bastian can make you feel like the only woman on Earth, but in reality he's got a roaming eye. He's always looking for the next thing. Just a friendly bit of advice.”

Toni stared at her, trying to decide how to take the information. She supposed it shouldn't matter to her, because O'Donovan had already left her for another woman. The “friendly” bit of advice was already too late.

Bitch.

“
Well, thanks so much for that,” Toni said, hearing her southern accent rearing up. “I really appreciate it.”

“
I don't want it to be weird if we see each other around. We obviously are going to run into each other from time to time,” Gwen was saying, tucking a strand of blond hair behind her ear.

“
Absolutely,” Toni said, and she could hear her voice rising. She knew it was time to end the conversation, before her head exploded.

“
Alright, good,” Gwen said. “I'm glad.”

“
I do have to go though, so see you around,” Toni said, throwing a wave over her shoulder as she made her getaway, finally. She turned the corner and moved in a daze until she was sure she was out of Gwen's sight. The bizarre urge to run came over her, and she felt her muscles tense. To take off running down the sidewalk, and not stop. To run until she couldn't focus on anything but her beating heart and her wrung out lungs. But she didn't. She took a deep breath, and headed toward the dance studio, a million thoughts pounding through her brain. But most of all, she was cursing Sebastian O'Donovan, in many colorful and creative ways, over and over, for dragging her down and making her just another crazy ex.