Kiss This (40 page)

“Yes,” he replied honestly. “And I didn’t
want to talk about it with you because I didn’t know you, and even
though I got way more comfortable with you anyway, it just felt
good to keep it in the past. I took advantage of the fact that you
weren’t pushy about it.”

“So you prefer I don’t ask questions about
your life? Don’t want any of your secrets to come out, huh?”

He sort of laughed, but he wasn’t sure if
she was being playful or not. Her dry humor was normally
distinguishable, but today he wasn’t so sure. “It’s not that I’m
hiding anything. Some things are just easier to let remain in the
past. I know you understand that; you’ve done the same thing. I
like to live in the present, I guess.”

“Yeah, I guess,” she mumbled.

“So you gonna tell me what’s up with you
today? I’m kind of worried about you, Camryn.” He came around the
counter and sat on a stool next to her. She was staring down at her
plate but still hadn’t touched her food. Teague took his hand and
brushed her hair to the other side of her neck and said, “You know
you can tell me anything, right? You can always talk to me.”

She finally looked his way and took a long
moment to search his eyes. “And you know you can tell me anything
too, right?”

He studied her for only a second and
shrugged. “Of course. I love you, Camryn. We’re beyond the
insecurities, don’t you think? I trust you,” he added, barely able
to get the words out. It was one thing to love someone; it was
another thing to trust them entirely. But he did. Or at least, he
was starting to. For him to get those words out was an enormous
feat.

Again she gazed into his eyes for a few
seconds. “I trust you, too,” she answered quietly.

“I’ve never had a best friend besides Jay,”
he said. “You’re my best friend, Camryn. With benefits, of course,”
he grinned. He slid his arm around her hip and pulled her stool
closer to his. “Major benefits,” he whispered in her ear, sliding
his other hand over her thigh.

Well Teague could still make her blush, that
was for sure. Her cheeks turned a shade of pink and she was trying
not to smile. He pulled her sexy body even closer to him so she was
wedged between his legs and kissed on her neck.

“Ew, go to your room,” Melanie scowled as
she entered the kitchen. “Oh, yum! Thai food!”

“None for you,” Teague smirked at her.

“What?” she scoffed. “Rude. The baby is
hungry. You wouldn’t deprive a child of necessities.”

“She uses that excuse for just about
everything,” Camryn said. She took a bite of chicken Pad Thai and
her feisty humor seemed to return. “Mmm, oh my goodness. That is
incredible
,” she moaned. “Poor Bart has to miss out.”

“Shut up!” Melanie laughed. “You know you
pretty much gave the doctor a heart attack when you told her I was
naming the baby Bartholomew Hildegard.”

Teague got a kick out of that. “Wow, now
that’s ambiguous.”

Melanie rolled her eyes. “If Jordan was
appalled to have a kid before, I can only assume that name would
keep him away even more.”

“Well there you go,” Camryn smirked. “Double
bonus. Awesome name and even better effect.”

“Don’t start, Cam.”

“Fine, I won’t.”

Camryn forked another bite into her mouth
and chose to stay out of it. Teague knew that Melanie was still
talking to Jordan on the phone and it was pissing Camryn off.
Jordan even had the nerve to tell Melanie her sister was a whack
job and shouldn’t be allowed around his kid. Melanie chewed him
out, he buttered her up profusely, and then they continued trying
to work things out like a pair of teenagers. Jordan was
twenty-four, but you’d never know it by the stupid shit he said and
the way he lived his life. Camryn wished her sister didn’t tolerate
him so much and Teague couldn’t agree more. He still wanted to kick
that fucker’s ass.

He changed the subject by asking Melanie
about the part time job Kellie was able to get her as a
receptionist in a sales office. She explained how easy sixteen
hours a week was as she heated some food and started to eat. Camryn
swallowed her last few bites and got up to rinse her plate. Teague
watched her the entire time and he was beginning to feel that
awkward vibe again.

Later in the bedroom, as Camryn changed for
bed and Teague vacantly flipped through channels on the television,
the tension was finally too much to handle. His guilt was eating at
him and he knew he deserved it. He also deserved Camryn’s wrath
when he fessed up. It had to be why she was so distant.

She must already know.

Teague watched her prop herself up with
pillows on the bed and slide her bare legs under the covers. She’d
mentioned she had some work to do, so he listened to her return a
few phone calls and discuss an upcoming workshop she’d be teaching
at for Sonja. He waited patiently, using the time to build up a
confession the right way, but the longer she was on the phone, the
more frustrated he became.

When she hung up with her current call, he
finally said, “Camryn, can we talk?”

She stared at him for a few seconds as he
twisted on the foot of the bed to face her. He was uncomfortable
because he was about to do something he didn’t want to do. And for
some reason, the look on her face matched how he felt inside. She
looked scared. What the hell for? Whenever he’d given her the
“let’s talk” spiel, she always took it well.

She barely cleared her throat as she stared
at her phone. “Well, I just have one more call to make and—”

“This is more important,” he closed his
eyes, rubbing his forehead. “Please, Camryn. I have something to
tell you.”

She slowly set her phone on the nightstand,
along with the paper and pen she’d been jotting things down with.
Sitting up and folding her legs under her she softly replied,
“Okay. I’m listening.”

Teague stood and came around the bed. He sat
on the edge next to her but didn’t make eye contact just yet.
Leaning his elbows on his knees he said, “I have a problem trusting
people, Camryn. It comes from living in the family I live in and
being lied to so many times.” Staring at the carpet was much
easier, so he continued to do so. “I never knew what was real when
my dad told me one thing or another, and he used manipulative ways
to get me to do work I didn’t want to do, or go to parties or
events I didn’t want to be at, to date women I didn’t want to date.
It took me a long time to even figure out my own family situation
because news and tabloids make so many things up, and my dad was
such a prick about telling me the truth. It wasn’t until I was
twelve years old that I understood Max was only my half brother.”
He sighed and rubbed a hand over his head as he finally looked at
her. “I don’t know if that excuses my behavior or not, and yeah,
maybe I’m looking for something to justify what I did, but I’m
sorry, Camryn. I really am. If you feel like I’ve totally invaded
your privacy, I understand, but please let me explain why I did
it.”

She only stared at him for what seemed like
minutes, but those few seconds were an immense amount of time.
“Sorry about what?” she finally asked.

Teague faced her entirely as he examined the
confused expression on her face. Jesus Christ, she really didn’t
know what he did?

Fuck
.

“Teague? What do you mean you invaded my
privacy? What are you talking about?”

He released a sigh and shook his head. He
was only going to tell her because he thought she knew. Otherwise
it was better that she didn’t find out. Now he had majorly fucked
himself over and he had to tell her.

“I…. Well, I told you why I don’t trust
people,” he reiterated, hoping it would strengthen his case. “And
because of that… I just wanted to be cautious before I… Hell.
Camryn, I love you. That’s why I did what I did. And I didn’t want
you to be hurt by it so I didn’t tell you.”

“Tell me anyways,” she answered softly.

He looked into her green eyes and could tell
how vulnerable she felt. He put that fear there and it absolutely
killed him inside. He took her hand in his and was glad she allowed
him to. Camryn wasn’t one to play games or be unreasonable, and for
that he was grateful. Maybe he needed to just
show
that he
trusted her now and get it all out there.

“Falling in love with you surprised me. I
wasn’t ready for it and I told myself to chill the fuck out. I
couldn’t, though. The more I’m around you, the more I love you.
It’s more than I’ve ever felt for someone before and… I just needed
to make sure it was going to last. I was
desperate
to make
sure it would last.”

Her forehead creased but she waited for him
to continue.

Teague pressed her fingers to his lips and
held them there for a moment. When he pulled them away and set them
in his lap he finally admitted to what he’d done. “I hired a
private investigator to look into you. He’s even followed you
several times.”

She held in her surprise silently as she
stared at him.

“My heart trusts you, Camryn,” he continued.
“I swear to God. But my head told me to make sure. I didn’t even
think about the effects of it down the road, but I honestly didn’t
believe you’d find out.”

“I didn’t find out,” she finally replied
evenly. “I never had a clue.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I really, truly am.
I just had to make sure. I had to prove to myself that I could fall
in love and be happy and not have to worry about being used or
manipulated—”

“You thought I was
using
you?” she
scoffed. “For what, Teague? Jesus, you people and your egos when it
comes to money and status!”

“It’s not my ego I’m protecting, Camryn,” he
said firmly. “And I don’t give a shit about status. I’m a faceless
person in movies. I do it because I love it, not for recognition.
Have you not heard a single thing I’ve said to you these last
couple of months? I’m not my dad, I’m not Max, and I don’t fucking
care about red carpet and shiny awards. That being said, I do care
about you and a future with you, and even if I have nothing else in
life, that is good enough for me. Can you understand that I was
just taking care of the one thing that matters to me? You, Camryn.
I wanted to assure that the one thing I love more than anything was
real. Because if it turned out that it wasn’t, I would shatter into
a million pieces and I wouldn’t be able to recover.”

Her expression was confusing; like she was
either trying to catch up with everything he said or she didn’t
believe him.

Camryn slid her legs past him and walked
across the room. When she stepped into a pair of jeans, Teague
shook his head and said, “Please don’t leave, Cam. Please.” In two
steps he was right in front of her, hands on her shoulders as he
looked deep into her eyes. “
Please
don’t leave,” he
whispered.

She curled her fingers over his wrists as he
leaned his forehead against hers. “I’m not. I just need some
air.”

“You need to be away from me?”

“I just need some air.”

“Please don’t shut me out. Tell me how you
feel.”

“I don’t really know, to be honest. I’m
surprised, yes. Do I understand? Yes, I actually do. I realize how
difficult your family must be to deal with. But there’s just… I
just feel like there are other things you’re keeping from me.”

He leaned away, feeling disappointed.
“Camryn, that’s all. I swear.”

Again she stared at him for several long
seconds before she finally spoke. “I don’t know if I can believe
you,” she said softly. “I’m sorry, Teague, but you only told me
because you thought I knew. If you don’t have any faith in me now,
how am I supposed to believe you’re not hiding other things?”

“I do have faith in you. I trust you, I
really do. I know that you’re just friends with Brandon and he’s
only—”

“Brandon?” she scoffed. “What does Brandon
have to do with this?” He didn’t answer the question, but the look
on her face told him she could figure it out on her own. “You had
your investigator follow me to Fresno this morning, too?”

“I’m sorry, Camryn. It has to do with me,
not you.”

“Well I’m pretty sure I was the one he was
there to spy on,” she frowned. “Did he enjoy the scene at the
graveyard? That’s really creepy knowing someone was watching me pay
my respects to the dead.”

“He wasn’t close by.”

“Oh, but was he in the diner with us for
breakfast? Did he see us cuddled up together in the booth? Playing
footsies under the table?”

That disgusting feeling of fear was like
acid in his chest. “That’s not funny.”

“No it’s not. Because cheating on someone is
a serious thing. I have told you countless times that Brandon is
like a brother to me. If I didn’t want to be with you Teague, then
I wouldn’t be. I don’t have room in my life for any guy except you,
nor do I want there to be anyone else but you.”

“But if you did, you would tell me,
right?”

She opened her mouth and blinked her
confusion. “What? Teague, we’ve had this conversation before—”

“And I know what you said, but I’m just
saying… Things happen, things can change… If it does, you just need
to tell me.”

Camryn paused as she searched his face for
something. “If you don’t trust me, I don’t know what to say to you,
Teague. I love you. So much. I can’t imagine my life without you.
If you want the truth, I think that you’re the one keeping secrets.
I’ve been honest with everything about my life but I don’t think
that you have. I understand that you haven’t had the best
relationships. You’ve told me as much and I’ve never pried. But it
really sucks that you think that little of me and can’t open up
about anything.”

“Open up? I share all kinds of stuff about
my family. I don’t talk about that shit with
anyone
besides
Jay. Honestly, Camryn. I’ve shared things with you that could be
detrimental to my family if it ever got out.”