Kissed at Midnight (20 page)

He narrowed his gaze at the
clock and jerked out of bed. “Bugger.”

Ivy bent over the bed,
kissed him firmly on the lips and pushed away. “Hurry.” Her dark gaze clashed
with his, allowing him enough time to see the turmoil in it.

Nerves? Worry? Or was it
that she knew this was the end? Neither of them had voiced it but there could
be no denying it. The outcome of today would change their paths forever,
sending them in separate directions.

And then she was gone. Only
a hallway and two doors kept them apart but the gulf opening up in his chest
forced him to flop back against the pillow. Now they were employee and master
once more.

August grimaced when he
looked at the clock again. His train was due to leave fifteen minutes after
hers. Apparently even Elsie had decided to sleep late as normally her cries
would have awoken both of them. Trust her to choose to do so on a day when neither
of them could afford to miss their trains.

Though some part of him
wished she would. Anything to keep her here with him. But that was the selfish
part of him, and he pushed it aside.

On heavy legs, he climbed
out of bed and dug his toes into the carpet. He washed and dressed hurriedly
even though every part of him felt weighted down. Even the excitement of
officially opening the tunnel could not eat through the lead-like sensation
that sat in his veins.

Straightening his necktie,
he combed and pomaded his hair. Today was to be the pinnacle of his career. The
day he proved all the naysayers wrong. And yet the achievement was nothing
without Ivy by his side. He longed for her to see what he had built. In all
likelihood, she would someday. Perhaps when she rode a train through it she
would look back and think of him. But she wouldn’t be sitting next to him.
Maybe she would sit next to another man—one with no commitments or children.

He scowled at his
reflection.
That
thought wasn’t pleasant. What a bloody fool he was,
torturing himself like this.

Making his way downstairs to
the dining room, he nearly crashed into Mrs Cartwright who was holding Elsie
and... He stared at her for a moment. Was she singing? It wasn’t the most
pleasant of sounds but he didn’t think his housekeeper was capable of anything
other than barking orders and the occasional complaint.

The woman stilled and pursed
her lips. “Good morning, sir.”

“Good morning, Mrs
Cartwright. Is all well?”

“Of course. I was just
getting Elsie some breakfast.”

“Excellent.”

August tried not to marvel
at the way his housekeeper’s attitude towards the child had changed as she’d
grown older. Or perhaps it was Ivy’s influence. Either way, Mrs Cartwright had
volunteered to look after Elsie so Ivy could go to her audition. Just for one
day, mind. She had made that particularly clear. He certainly shouldn’t be
holding out any hopes of Mrs Cartwright taking on Ivy’s duties once she was
gone.

He sipped some hot coffee
and forced himself to eat a little haddock but he had no appetite. As the
housekeeper carried Elsie out of the room, he called to her, “Has Ivy—Miss
Davis—breakfasted already?”

“No, sir. She said she
wasn’t hungry. I believe she is putting the finishing touches to her hair.”

When he patted his jacket
pocket, he cursed. Damnation, he wished he had some bloody cigarettes right
now. That would take the edge off. Giving up on breakfast, he shoved away from
the table and straightened his jacket. The day was clear and bright so he
wouldn’t need a day coat. By the time he heard Ivy’s footfalls on the top of
the stairs, he was ready and itching to go. He tapped his foot as she made her
way down the steps and willed himself to keep his expression straight.

Master and governess.

He’d failed to remember that
recently but he had to remember that now. He had no hold over her, no say in
her life. Soon he’d read about her in newspapers and watch her from afar. And
at least he could say he helped her achieve that dream, even if he could only
claim the smallest credit. She thought he’d helped her get over her stage-fright
but, in reality, she had done all the work. He only hoped it didn’t return.

“Are you ready?”

Ivy smiled at him from under
the brim of her hat. The brim was so wide, he could barely see her eyes but he
thought he detected a hollow cast to her expression. Dark eyes that were
normally twinkling and lively appeared dull. Surely she could not feel as empty
and as aching as he?

He could crack so easily.
His knees practically shook with the need to fall to them and beg her to stay.
Inwardly, he snorted. Who’d have thought anyone could bring him to his knees?
August Avery had thrived in a world that wanted him to fail and yet this
vibrant young thing had almost crippled him.

In lieu of being able to
touch her, hold her, kiss her, he tweaked the purple satin ribbon under her
chin. The hat was hardly to his taste but what did he know about them? It would
certainly draw attention with it’s a large ruffles and feathers and suchlike.

“Will I do?” she asked
breathlessly.

“Indeed.” He was tempted to
leave it there but uncertainty haunted her gaze. “You are magnificent.”

Her lips quirked. “Well,
that sounds a little excessive but that will do. Is the carriage waiting?”

He nodded. “Yes, time to
go.”

Mrs Cartwright and Elsie
came to the door to see them off. He helped Ivy into the carriage and gave a little
wave, his heart clenching when Elsie did her best imitation of a wave. The
child would miss Ivy just as much as he.

The carriage gave a rock as
he settled and he tapped the roof to signal to leave. He remained rigid in his
seat, too aware of the woman next to him and how he longed to draw her into his
arms and kiss her until she promised to stay with him forever.

Then her gloved fingers
slipped into his. He glanced her way.

“What is it?”

“I’m scared, August.”

Scared? So was he. Terrified
even. Terrified he was making the biggest mistake of his life by letting her
go. But what if he did beg and she agreed to stay? Then what? How could he live
with himself for destroying her dreams? He’d achieved his. This tunnel would be
testament to all he’d achieved in his life. But Ivy... she was still young and
had much to learn about the world. God forbid he hold her back from the sort of
life she could lead with a voice like hers.

“Scared of what?”

“What if I freeze again?
What if I cannot sing a note?”

“You can. You will.” He drew
her fingers up to his lips and pressed kisses to the cotton. He wished he was
pressing them to flesh but it would have to do. “I have every confidence in
you, Ivy.”

“But without you there...”

“You don’t need me, Ivy.”
Not
anymore
. “You can do this.”

She nodded slowly and
offered a wavery smile. Her fingers curled tightly around his and she turned
her head to the window. In that moment, he wished for the ability to read her
mind. He’d never really been interested in what women thought before and Ivy
was usually so open but today... He wanted to sweep his hands over the rigid
set of her shoulders and wash away any of her worries, but he couldn’t. He had
enough of his own.

They journeyed in silence
with only the clatter of wheels and the creak of springs for company. When they
arrived at the train station, he drew out his pocket watch and breathed a sigh
of relief. They had time—just. Ivy wouldn’t be able to delay which meant no
lengthy goodbyes. He’d see her that evening anyway, but everything would be
different by then.

August climbed out and aided
her down. The streets were busy with carriages so he signalled the driver to
move on quickly and they hastened into the station. Smoke billowed about the
platforms and the scent of burning coal imbued the air. He purchased their
tickets, thrust one at Ivy and guided her to the bottom of the bridge that
spanned the station.

He studied her only briefly.
Nerves but also the excitement there. The little hint of sparkle to her gaze
told him he was doing the right thing. There was the vibrancy he’d come to
expect from her, making her glow. Her beauty at this moment would be forever
imprinted in his mind.

“Go now, or you’ll be late,”
he urged her.

She nodded, tucked her lip
under her teeth and hesitated. There could be no passionate kiss goodbye, not
even a tender embrace. Not here with people around. Their affair was nothing
but an illicit liaison here, and he had stepped across boundaries no employer
should.

August couldn’t bring
himself to regret it.

Ivy touched him—the briefest
touch of her gloved hand to his arm—and then she was gone. The temptation to
watch her go ate into his gut but he forced himself to turn away and headed
towards platform one. He apologised to the gentleman he nearly knocked over as
he moved blindly through the gate.

A train already sat on the
middle platform and blocked his view of Ivy’s platform. A fine job indeed or
else he’d have to watch her board and leave his life. August shook his head to
himself and took up a spot to watch for his train. When had he become so
melodramatic? He would see her tonight—the chances were they would have more
time together before she had to leave.

He allowed himself a twisted
smile. Reason and rationale—that’s what guided him. But not anymore, it seemed.
What had that woman done to him?

Ivy stared at her boots as they peeked out from under her
skirts. Their polished tips gleamed up at her. Then she turned her attention to
a tiny loose strand on her sleeve. Oh dear, she hoped no one noticed. She’d
tried so hard to look her best today.

Nerves swirled in her
stomach and she resisted the urge to stand on her tiptoes to get a view over
the train that sat in the middle station. She wouldn’t be able to see him but
she wanted to. She ached for his touch, for his soothing presence. Could she
even do this alone? Did she want to?

For so long this had been
her dream but now... That dream had changed. She wanted more than just fame and
fortune, more than just to be able to sing. She sighed. She wanted August.

And he wanted her to leave.
She was a minor distraction, that was all.

Pain throbbed in her chest
and she drew up her chin. She would not cry, she would not...

“Miss Davis.”

Ivy jerked her head to the
side and suppressed a groan. “Mrs Pepperwhite, how nice to see you.”

The woman offered a thin
smile. “How are you, Miss Davis? I haven’t seen you since your dramatic
performance.”

Her words dripped with
disdain, leaving her in no doubt Mrs Pepperwhite thought her fainting fit to be
just that—a performance. The drama it had caused had created quite the interest
in her. Really, she couldn’t have planned it better but the memories still
caused her cheeks to heat.

“I’ve been very busy. Are
you going to Sheffield?” she asked in a bid to distract the woman from any more
talk of that night. Whilst it might have been one of the most humiliating
nights of her life, it was also one of the best. After all, August had made
love to her that night.

She tried not to smile at
the idea of telling Mrs Pepperwhite exactly how well August had taken care of
her. The woman would probably have a fainting fit of her own should Ivy utter
such words. It was really quite tempting so she pressed her lips together and
waited for the older woman to respond.

“I’m visiting my sister.
What of you, Miss Davis?”

It’s none of your business.
She
didn’t say as much of course. Instead Ivy smiled sweetly. “I am going to an
audition.”

“An audition?”

She supposed she would have
been better off saying she was going to climb to the top of the station
building, strip naked and do a dance. That would likely garner more approval
than the idea of performing on stage.

“Yes, at a theatre. They are
after singers for evening performances.”

“Well, goodness.”

Mrs Pepperwhite even went as
far as to take a step back, lest Ivy’s immoral ways somehow rub off on her, she
suspected.

“I had heard that you would
be leaving soon.”

Ivy narrowed her gaze at the
woman. From whom? she wondered. She supposed Mrs Cartwright or Tilly could have
said something. And did she detect a note of glee in her tone? Likely Mrs
Pepperwhite would see her leaving as a chance to slip into August’s life.
Goodness, August wouldn’t let her into his life would he? Surely not. But then,
he would need a new nursemaid or worse—a wife.

She shuddered at the thought
of Mrs Pepperwhite taking her place. She couldn’t give Elsie the love she
needed or August the understanding and care he required.

“My maid tells me he is
talking of sending the child to that cousin of his,” the woman continued.

Ivy snapped her attention
fully to her. “Pardon?”

“Yes, that cousin in
America? It’s too much for a man to look after a baby on his own and he cannot
very well have nursemaid after nursemaid traipsing through the house, not when
he is such a busy man. I think he should have sent the child off in the first
place.”

Ivy swore. Aloud. And at
that moment the train drew into the station, smothering her words. Whether Mrs
Pepperwhite caught them or not, she did not know, but anger and fear tore
through her like the needle-like claws of a cat, scratching at her insides, and
she cared little for what the spiteful woman thought of her.

Passengers exited the
carriage with a clatter of doors and the conductor called the stop. Around her
was a whirl of movement. Luggage, canes, swishing skirts. Heat seared through
her skull. He wouldn’t, surely? Her eyes felt hot too.

But Mrs Pepperwhite was
right. He didn’t have time to look after Elsie on his own and it would be
detrimental to her to have different people looking after her all the time.
What if he thought it best Elsie had a stable mother figure? He had not said
anything about hearing from this cousin but then, what business was it of hers?

She glanced around and saw
Mrs Pepperwhite climb into the carriage. The whistle blew for the last
passengers. She looked up the line and back to the carriage, her heart pounding
in her chest like a drum. The woman scowled at her.

“Are you not getting on?”

For many moments, she stared
at Mrs Pepperwhite and her bright blue hat while its feathers bobbed about in
the breeze of the open door. Ivy shook her head.

“No.” She shook her head
again. “No, I’m at the wrong station.”

Hand to her skirts, she
swivelled away and pushed past the flow of last-minute passengers. She muttered
apologies and stomped on a few toes, some on purpose, as she battled her way
through. Racing up the steps, she stopped halfway across the bridge to search
out August. His train was there. She didn’t think it was meant to leave until
after hers but she couldn’t see him and that sent a surge of panic coursing
through her.

The wooden bridge clattered
under her feet and she hastened down the other side and pushed through the iron
gate to the platform, waving her ticket to a ticket inspector.

She scanned the platform and
saw no sign of his broad shoulders. He must have boarded already. Ivy hurriedly
moved down the side of the first class carriage, staring into each window. The
train wasn’t as busy as hers, thank goodness, but then few people would be
travelling to the small stops before the tunnel and only those interested in
the opening would be going further.

Breaths coming quickly, she
came to the end of the train and let out a cry of dismay. Where was he? Had she
missed him? She turned and considered doing another search when a head thrust
out of one of the opened doors and he called her name.

“August!” She hurried over
to him.

He scowled at her. “Whatever
is the matter? Why aren’t you on the train?” The conductor blew his whistle and
his frown deepened. “Ivy?”

She considered the man going
along the train and ensuring the doors were shut and then the man was in front
of her. Then she stepped inside, drawing the door shut behind her. The carriage
was empty much to her relief.

“Ivy, you’re going to miss
your train.”

She gripped his arms. “I
don’t care. August, is it true?”

He put his hand to the
railing above and stared at her. “Is what true?”

“You’re going to send Elsie
away?”

The shrill screech of the
train whistle blew and the carriage rocked forwards. She gripped August’s arm
to keep from falling backwards and he hooked his spare arm around her waist. He
left her breathless.

Each hard inch of him
pressed at her through her gown. Heat sizzled through her body and gathered low
down. But more than that, a deep longing for him lodged in her chest. It was
stronger than anything she’d experienced before and far greater than her need
to sing.

“Damn it, Ivy, you’ve missed
your train. What were you thinking?”

He released her slowly and
she eased back onto the seat. Disappointment almost sent her heart sinking to
her toes. “You are sending her away then?”

Pinching the bridge of his
nose, he eyed her over his hand. “Whatever do you mean?”

“Mrs...” She drew in a
breath. “Mrs Pepperwhite said you intended to send Elsie to America once I
left.”

“Mrs Pepper—” he spluttered.
“Haven’t you learned not to listen to a word that woman says?”

Ivy sank farther into the
chair. “So it isn’t true?”

“Of course not. I received a
returned letter from my cousin last week. I don’t even have the right address
for her at present.”

“And if you do find the
right address?”

“I still will not be sending
Elsie away. How could you think that?”

Tears bit into the corners
of her eyes. “You’re sending me away.” Her voice sounded like it would shatter
with the lightest of touches.

His hand dropped from his
face and he leaned forwards. “I am not sending you away.”

“Yes, you are.” Wonderful,
now she sounded petulant. “You want me to go to this audition so you can be rid
of me.”

Shaking his head, he reached
for her hands and drew them into his. Even through her gloves, warmth suffused into
her and made her skin prickle.

“Ivy, if I could keep you
forever I would.”

She let her brows furrow.
“But...”

“You deserve to sing. You deserve
to be able to share your gift with the world.”

“I cannot do it without you,
August.”

“I cannot support you the
way you need. I have Elsie and my work. You will be travelling the world and
meeting fascinating people. We shall hold little interest to you soon enough.”

“How can you say that?
August, I—”

A bang echoed through the
air. The sound rattled her head and seemed to create pressure in her ears. The ground
shook. Ivy gripped the seat beneath her and saw horror overcome August’s
expression as the carriage lurched and wheels screeched.

He lunged for her as the
world tilted. She ended up wrapped in his embrace. His arms created a barrier
around her while the sound of metal jarring and crashing rang in her ears. Glass
shattered across her and something hard struck her side. Then all fell silent.

It took her a few moments to
realise she was on her side. Ivy lifted her head from the warm protection of
August’s chest and peered around. They were lying on the carriage door. Fragments
of glass dusted August’s shoulders and sunlight gleamed in through the door
that was now like an odd sort of roof.

“What happened?” she asked tremulously.

August groaned and lifted
his head. Something wet dripped on her face and she tried to swipe it away but
she was completely enveloped in his body and her arms were pinned to her sides.

“Oh God, August, you’re
bleeding.” She tried to wriggle free.

“Are you hurt?” he asked,
releasing her. He patted her body while she tried to reach up to touch his face
but he brushed aside her hand.

“I’m not hurt.” She didn’t
think she was. She paused to asses herself. There were a few aches and pains
but she suspected they’d likely turn into lovely big bruises and nothing more.
But August was hurt. “Let me see your head.”

He shook his head and pushed
to his feet with a groan. “We need to get out of here.”

August swiped aside the
blood with the back of his hand and eased her to her feet. Glass crunched under
her boots and she had to tug her skirts to free them from the splintered wood
of the window frame. Grass prodded up through the shattered window telling her
the train had rolled onto its side. Thank goodness they weren’t far out of the
station or else they would have tumbled down an embankment too.

They probably wouldn’t have
survived such an incident. She clutched her shaking hands together.

They both glanced up at the door
now above them. The glass had shattered and the curtains draped down towards
them. Ivy grimaced. It seemed an awful distance to climb even if it was only
three or four feet above her. The scent of smoke clouded the air and coal dust
had begun to filter down through the cracked windows.

“Should we not wait for
rescue?”

He shook his head. She
didn’t know why but his expression was so grim that her stomach bunched up in
knots so tight, she feared they would never come undone.

“We’re not staying here.”

Again a dart of apprehension
speared through her. What did he think might happen? He put his hands on his
hips and lifted his gaze to the door and windows above them.

“I’ll climb out and then
pull you out.” He said it with such confidence that she believed him. The fear
eased from the pit of her stomach and she nodded.

Divesting himself of his
jacket and waistcoat, August reached for the leather strap dangling from the
door that usually eased down the window and put his foot on the arm of the
chair. Using the padded chairs and the strap, he quickly found purchase on the
edge of the window. Ivy winced at his hiss of pain as his fingers connected
with a shard of glass.

Nevertheless, he hauled
himself higher to grip on with both hands. With the agility of a tiger, he had
dragged his large form up and through the window. His shirt snagged on some
glass and tiny blossom of red painted the white fabric. She clamped a hand over
her mouth to save her from crying out.