Kissed by Moonlight (20 page)

He angered and irritated her to the point of screaming frustration. His mocking tongue violated her sensitivity and pride. What pride? Her pride was useless when compared with the effect his strong fingers had on her senses.

His hand moved around to her front, teased over her already tautened stomach muscles, hesitated deliberately so that her body didn't know which part of it was going to delight to his touch. He kept her there, suspended on intolerable expectation, his fingers moving tormentingly backward and forward across her stomach.

“The sun is very hot. Your skin is burning. Shall we go in? If you stay out much longer you'll pay the consequences,” he said.

The better part of the day lay ahead of them, with no fear of interruption until Carmen came to start the evening meal. If she went inside with him she would pay another kind of consequence.

His fingers applied themselves to a more penetrating exploration. His hand moved slowly under her suit top to cup her breast, teasing the nipple until it tautened to his touch. She knew he was testing her. Afterward she would remind herself of this and console herself with the fact that she had tried to act upon the knowledge by endeavoring to cool her emotions. Now his mouth as well as his hands was pursuing her. She turned agonizingly away from his lips, but he anticipated she would do this and his chin swerved faster than hers, cutting off escape and deflecting her mouth into the kiss.

It was too much. Suddenly she was pouring all the sweet selflessness of her love into the kiss she gave him back. He paused in what he was doing, even his lips held still in surprise. Then his mouth took the initiative once more, closing against hers in a kiss of brutal passion; at the same time his hands no longer delicately pampered but took bitter delight in revenging themselves on her body. It was as if he was punishing her for some misdeed she was not aware of committing.

Her brain went into shock at the unexpectedness of it, though the blockage to her mind wasn't total because she still had a thread of reasoning faculty. She knew he was hurting her deliberately. Why? And yet still he was giving her pleasure. How could she enjoy his cruel passion?

Her mind objected strongly, but her body was on a different level and it shamed her with its fevered response. She could not understand the twisted state of her emotions that made her react this way.

The abuse stopped. His hands no longer pursued her and her body stopped burning to the abrasive roughness of his caresses, leaving her feeling strangely bereft.

Perhaps she had become acquiescent because she sensed something out of the ordinary, a reason she was slow to comprehend. Her gentle lover hadn't turned into her tormentor without just cause.

She looked at him through her lashes and saw his suffering, the pain and torment of barely controlled passion. She raised up her body, touched his cheek in a gesture of understanding and compassion, and knew she was looking into the face of self-denial. Why?

A muscle jumped under her fingertips before her hand was dragged savagely away. She couldn't understand the dark anger in his eyes. “So that's how it is. You'd do anything to tie my hands so I can't do any more harm to your precious Chimera. I can violate your body, but my hands must be kept off Chimera. It's too late. Progress won't stop if I don't regain full control. The plans are too far advanced. But perhaps that no longer matters. What
is
important to you is that
I
don't gain control.”

“David, I honestly don't know what you're talking about.”

“You she-devil. You've never been like this before ... all sweetness and fire. I can do what I like with you and you won't stop me. You'll even encourage me to do more.”

“I'm your wife. Please – you're not making sense.”

“Don't lie to me. One thing I've always admired in you is the honest way you defend your ideals. Your unbending attitude to the changed face of the island has always angered me, but never before have you hidden behind pretense. I've argued with you about it, but I've admired the way you've upheld your viewpoint with honesty and courage. I don't like this turnabout. I don't admire you for what you'd be willing to do to thwart me. I made a big mistake in telling you I can't do my job properly when you're around because I find you too much distraction. You're using it as a weapon against me. You think if I make love to you for two weeks, I won't be able to send you away – and you're right. If. you stayed, I could never beat the time clause. So I cannot allow you to stay.”

She shook her head in stunned disbelief. Did he really think she was vindictive enough to do that to him? Why was she so surprised at his opinion? She'd tried to block him all the way, scornful of what he'd achieved, making dreadful accusations. He didn't even know that he'd won her around to his way of thinking because she'd been too stubborn to tell him.

She tried to tell him now. “I've been wrong, David. I want you to beat the time clause. I can't bear the thought of your being bound to a man like Geoffrey Hyland. I'll do anything. I won't distract you. I'll keep out of the way.”

He listened to her in silence, a mirthless smile on his lips, and then he said harshly, “No, Petrina. We must endure one another's company. I can see no way around that because I will not humiliate myself by returning to the hotel until a decent interval has elapsed, although it doesn't have to be dragged out for the full fortnight. Meanwhile, you won't distract me for the simple reason that I won't let you. I intend to keep out of
your
way as much as possible.”

She realized wearily that he thought this was another trick to make him lose his head. Some hope of that. She looked deep into his eyes, glinting at her in anger, and saw no affection, no tenderness on his face. Her heart lurched in despair as she acknowledged to herself the futility of trying to make him see.

The roles were reversed. How ironic that just when she had come to believe in him, to trust him, he was suspicious and distrustful of her.

The days weren't so bad. She could stretch out on her solitary towel on the white sand and let the sun dull her senses. The nights, spent alone in the vast double bed, were more difficult to bear.

The situation could not be hidden from Carmen, who came in daily to bring supplies and to clean and cook for them. She knew they slept in separate bedrooms and was clearly puzzled by it. Her beloved
sehor,
who had brought such happiness and prosperity to the island, could do no wrong in her eyes and so it was Petrina who was subjected to her reproachful glances.

After ten days of strained disharmony, David said they could return to the hotel. She heard him with a surge of relief. She couldn't have borne much more of this persecution, yet she dreaded the prospect of returning to the hotel with him, of being forced to return to England.

“David?” she asked in sudden inspiration, “do I have to come with you? Couldn't I stay here until you've arranged my flight home?”

“I can see no objection to that,” he said, much to her surprise. “I'm sure Carmen will agree to remain at night instead of returning to her own home.”

“That won't be necessary. I shall be perfectly all right on my own.”

“I disagree. In fact I must make it a stipulation. Until it's connected by telephone, this place is far too remote for me to consider leaving you here on your own. You would be too out of reach of help if, for example, you fell ill.”

Did he realize what he'd said? “Until it's connected by telephone” – implying that when it was he would allow her to stay here by herself. The situation had a less finite sound to it and she couldn't keep the sudden hope out of her eyes.

It struck him at the same time. “I know. It's hopeless,” he said harshly. “I've worked harder on this project than on anything I've ever done in my life. I can't let it go now. But I can't let you go either. I want you both. If it's down to a choice” – he shrugged – “there's no contest, because I've got to have you.”

Had she heard right? For a moment, flinching at the savagery of his tone, she couldn't believe that such a humble admission could have come from this haughty mouth. Words such as those should be spoken in humility, not tossed out in arrogance. Did it matter? All that mattered was that he had spoken them and he wasn't going to send her away.

“Why can't you have both? I've changed, David, you must believe me. I mean to help now, not hinder. I've spoken impulsively, before I've understood. I've behaved like a woolly-minded contrary little girl and I don't know how you've stood me.”

“No tricks? You're on the level?” Although his tone was still skeptical and searching, she knew he was more than half way to believing her.

“I'm speaking the truth, David. I've been so wrong about you.”

“Thank heaven,” he said, swallowing deeply. “It seems I could have been wrong about you too.”

His arms reached out for her and bound her to him in a fierce hug of silent homage. Her own throat was doing a lot of churning as she too gave prayerful thanks. It was going to be all right. David wasn't going to send her away, now or ever. After the way she had behaved, it was more than she deserved.

“Tears?” he said, tilting her chin.

“It's seemed so long and it's been so awful. I thought I was never going to get through to you. I feel so ashamed of how I was before. I set out to be as unreasonable as I could possibly be.”

“Now don't go taking all the blame. I don't have a lot to be proud of myself. Going back to our wedding – that wasn't half the wedding you deserved. You even had to pick out your own wedding bouquet.”

“I did it on impulse and then regretted it when I saw you were laughing at me.”

He looked at her for a long moment. There was a fight going on behind his eyes. The decision to speak up was reached after deep self-searching, and the reluctance in his voice showed he was not certain he was doing the right thing. “I've a feeling I shouldn't be telling you this – it leaves me wide open – but I assure you I wasn't laughing at you.”

“No?”

“Want proof?” She didn't know what he could mean and watched closely as he extracted a piece of tissue paper from his wallet. Unfolding it for her inspection, he said, “That's pretty substantial evidence, wouldn't you say?”

She was looking at a pressed wild rose – the dog rose she'd picked for his buttonhole that she thought he'd thrown away in scorn. He'd kept it and all this time he had been carrying it close to his heart. It certainly proved he hadn't been laughing at her, but that was a secondary consideration in the light of a possible new disclosure.

“You've got it,” he said, as he read the bewildered wonder on her face. “You know it all now, don't you? You know the other reason, besides my desire to make love to you, why I married you – if I'm truthful, the
only
reason I married you.”

Her voice was anxious. It would be too painful if she'd tricked herself into believing something that wasn't true simply because she wanted to believe it so much. “You said that if ever there came a time when you felt inclined to tell me, it would be unnecessary because it would mean that I knew. I think I know, but I can't be sure.”

And then, overwhelmed at how close they had come to ruining it all, she said, “Oh, David, if you had sent me home, I think I would have died. And, anyway, it wouldn't have been home, because home is where you are.”

“The same goes for me,” he said gruffly. “We've both suffered, it seems.”

“I'm still suffering. Tell me, David. Say it,
please
,” she begged, running her hand down the hard lines of his face, sensing the softening of his expression with her fingertips as well as seeing it with her eyes.

“You stubborn, adorable woman, I love you. I seem to have loved you forever.”

Was it possible, she wondered, to die of happiness? “There's something else I must ask you, and I promise never to mention it again. You and Justine ... was there really nothing going on between you?”

“Geoff leaves her on her own too much. She can be good company. And I suppose I felt sorry for her for having Geoff for a husband. Does that answer your question?”

“Not altogether. You haven't said ... that is ... did you fancy her?”

“Come on, now,” he mocked in the old dreaded way. “A man gets lonely and Justine's an attractive woman.”

Her heart dropped and then he relented. “I've sacrificed everything for Chimera. Do you think I'd put it all in jeopardy by having an affair with Justine Hyland of all people? Use your common sense. Despite the fact that she and her husband go their separate ways in many things, she's still in the enemy camp. Convinced?” His voice dropped in bitter self-derision. “Justine, or any woman for that matter, would have had a hard time getting you out of my blood. I was telling the truth when I said I always knew that one day I'd come back for you. I never completely lost touch with what you were doing, thanks to my father. His letters always contained some piece of information about you. You didn't know I was keeping tabs on you, did you?”

“I'd no idea. Good thing I behaved myself.” The words were impish, but the tone of her voice, low and husky, was still wondrously giving thanks.

“Mm.” His eyebrow lifted. “You know as well as I do that my father would never have written anything to your discredit. I must invite him to come and visit us, as soon as I can bring myself to share you. He's always thought a lot of you. In his eyes, marrying you was my biggest triumph to date.”

“Only in
his
eyes?” she couldn't resist asking.

“No, in mine as well. I've admitted so much – I might as well tell you everything. The things I'm striving for – all I've achieved – success would be hollow if you weren't by my side to share it with me. These past ten days I've been suffering the tortures of the damned. Finally bringing you here to
your
house – you must know it was built with you in mind – being on our own, wanting you with a driven, desperate hunger, and unable to touch you without making you hate me more than I thought you already did. I thought I would go crazy. It got to the point where I couldn't trust myself to be alone with you for another moment. The last time I touched you I was so rough with you, and I was sorry straight away. I vowed it would never happen again. But the strain of not touching you got worse each day, and I knew that I had to get back to the hotel before I did something really regrettable, something you couldn't possibly forgive. I'm not taking too much for granted, am I, in thinking you've forgiven me for the other?”