Kisses to Remember (20 page)

Falling instantly in love with this new plan, Johanna stepped closer to the tractor. Like a trained mechanic, Holden added oil and tinkered with a few other parts while he had the engine opened.

“Holden knows a lot about engines, Mom,” Kam said. “If we’d let that oil situation go any longer, it could have led to severe engine damage. Maybe the whole tractor would have died.”

“Is that right?” Johanna looked over Kam’s head and watched Holden’s greasy fingers tighten a cap. The way he was bent over the engine caused his new jeans to showcase a phenomenal ass. Hurray for new clothes!

“Kam, your grandfather said he wanted to play Legos with you.” She angled her head toward the porch where Ted helped her out by waving Kam over.

“Really?” Kam hesitated, looking between Ted on the porch and Holden leaning against the tractor.

“C’mon, kid!” Ted called. That sent Miles trotting toward the house.

“You’d better go.” Johanna gave Kam a little nudge toward the house. “It may the pain medication he’s taking, but I don’t know if you’ll ever get another invitation from Pep like this again.”

Kam glanced back at the tractor, and Holden said, “Don’t worry, Kam. I’ll explain more stuff to you whenever you want.”

“Okay.” He ran off toward Ted who pulled himself up to his crutches and followed Kam into the house.

“What was that about?” Holden searched for a place to wipe his hands.

“Follow me.” Johanna led him into the barn and to a small half-bath where he could wash his hands.

When he finished, she blocked his exit from the bathroom by putting her hands on either side of the doorway.

“What’s
this
about?” He pulled her hat off, letting her waves loose. “First, you get rid of the kid. Now, you’re holding me hostage.”

“I want to thank you for fixing the tractor.”

“Do I get to choose how you thank me?” He rested his hands on her hips, and his touch awakened every part of Johanna.

“Nope, I’ve already decided.” She pulled on the neck of his T-shirt, drawing him close until his lips were level with hers. His blue eyes stared directly into her blue eyes, locked there, and caused a slow burn to creep throughout her body.

When her lips touched his, fireworks erupted in her soul.

****

She fit into his arms as if she were a permanent part of him and always had been. Holden slid his hands down from Johanna’s hips and buried them in the back pockets of her shorts. He pressed her a bit closer against him while their mouths explored. Quick nips turned into deeper tastings, tongues grazing each other, small noises rumbling in their throats.

No amnesia here as he instinctively cut a trail along her neck and across her shoulder with his lips. She smelled like a summer garden and tasted just as good. He lowered them both to the hay covered ground, his lips never leaving her silken skin, and continued his expedition around her body. When her hands cupped his face then slid into his hair as she kissed him, he nearly loss consciousness.

Had anyone ever touched him like this? He had to imagine so, but had it meant anything to him? Had it whipped his very blood into a red-hot frenzy?

Johanna rolled him to his back and straddled his hips. Grinning, she pinned his arms above his head and leaned down to run her tongue along his neck. He shuddered beneath her, his hands locked on her thighs, but wanting to touch her absolutely everywhere.

When she sat back, the feel of her pressing against his arousal made speech impossible. He didn’t want to remember anything but her.

She let out a sigh and closed her eyes. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you like that since you looked at me from your plane.” Her lips were on him again, this time slow and gentle as she pulled him to sitting.

He wrapped his arms around her back and gave some attention to the soft underside of her chin. When her head angled back to expose her neck, he felt like a vampire ready to drink. And God, he wanted that drink. Needed that drink.

But she’d mentioned the plane.
The plane you don’t remember flying.

He dropped one more kiss on her neck, then leaned back on his arms to catch his breath, to gain some distance though his body screamed to get closer, only closer.

“We’re not ready to do this.” He motioned between the two of them, one part of his brain—a pretty big part—calling him every foul name it could think of.
Look at her, fool!

“I know.” Johanna slid off his lap and let herself drop into the hay beside him.

“You know?” Had he wanted her to agree with him?
Hell, no.

“Yeah, I have this feeling you’re one of those honorable types who wouldn’t want to go all the way until you knew for sure who you were.” She stretched out her arms and stared up at the rafters. “I can appreciate that about you, Holden.” She rose to her elbow. “I can also wait until you’re ready if...”

“If?” He shifted a little closer to her.

“If you let me kiss you in the meantime.” She pulled him down and set his mouth on fire again. How could he not agree to this deal? She was fairy tale princess in ripped shorts and a tank top. He wanted to be her prince. A prince with a history he could remember. A history that would hopefully prove him worthy of such a woman.

Johanna stood and held out a hand to him. “Kam will keep Ted busy for a while with the Legos. You want to go for a walk with me? I know a great place to kiss by.”

“I love how you manage to combine a devilish grin with an angelic face.” He took her hand, and she pulled him to his feet. His ribs twinged a little as his muscles contracted, a subtle reminder that waiting was right.

They walked across a field with high grass as the sun lost its golden hue. Wispy strips of hot pink smeared the sky, and muted light filtered into the woods. He followed Johanna until she stopped by a swiftly moving brook. Water gurgled a sweet melody as it rolled over smooth stones and fallen logs. Three stumps had been positioned along the mossy bank, and Johanna lowered to one while patting the one to her left.

“Take a load off,” she said.

Holden sat beside her and picked a long blade of grass. He used its feathery end to tickle Johanna’s calf. She swatted his hand away and scratched her leg.

“Are you going to be a problem, Mr. Lancaster?” She narrowed her eyes at him and hooked some hair behind her ear.

“Maybe.” He picked a wild daisy next and stuck that into her hair. “Maybe not.”

She leaned her head on his shoulder, and his arm automatically went around her back. “Maybe we should review what you’ve already remembered. It might stimulate something else.”

“I don’t know if I can handle any more stimulation.” Holden accepted a kiss on the cheek.

“Seriously. Let’s see.” She sat up, and Holden instantly wanted her back touching him. “You’ve remembered something about banana-nut muffins minus the nut, your favorite beer, your construction abilities, racecars, that you want to play the guitar, and engine maintenance. That’s a lot actually for only a few days.”

“It is, but I’m worried about why I don’t remember flying.” He ran his hand through his hair, felt some hay fall out, did a quick check to see if any more was stuck to him somewhere. “If flying was what I did for a living, I must have spent a lot of hours doing it. I should remember that, don’t you think?”

“Maybe you don’t remember flying because the traumatic event that caused the amnesia in the first place was a plane crash. Maybe the two are so intertwined that your mind is trying to protect you by blocking out your pilot life.”

Holden loved the way Johanna’s pupils got big as she spoke, as if she were convincing herself and him that what she said made sense. It did make sense actually.

“That thinking could maybe explain why I don’t remember Texas. I was probably flying from there. And the company, Donovan Electronics. That would be closely related to the crash too, right?”

Johanna made a noise that didn’t sound like total agreement. “It’s logical, however, no one at the company knows you.”

“Maybe I’m a nobody.” He couldn’t come up with a single name of someone he might have worked with, so maybe he wasn’t very social.

“I find that hard to believe, plus no one knows the other pilot either.” She fell silent for a moment. “I am such a jerk.”

“What? Why?” A jerk was not a word he would have associated with her. 

“I never told you about the other pilot.” She slumped forward so her head rested on her knees and groaned. “I was supposed to tell you after you had rested and gained some memories back, but I forgot. What kind of a person forgets that? I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. Kam told me on my first night with you guys.”

She zipped upright. “He did? Well, that wasn’t good either. Hearing a possible friend didn’t survive. Jesus.” She shook her head. “We’re not taking very good care of you, Holden.”

He swiveled on the stump so his knees pressed into her thigh. “You are taking excellent care of me. You’ve given me a place to rest, food, and people to interact with. You gave my libido the vigorous workout it needed.” He put his hand on her leg when she laughed. “I don’t even remember the other pilot as terrible as that makes me feel, especially because he didn’t make it out of the crash alive, so don’t,
do not
, blame yourself for not telling me sooner.”   

She nodded, but he could tell she was going to carry some blame for a little while longer.

“Do you know the other pilot’s name?” Maybe that would spark a memory.

“No, but the doctor who handled you at the hospital knows. He’s the one who told me Donovan Electronics didn’t recognize the other pilot. We can give him a call.” She popped up from the stump, but Holden pulled her back down.

“Tomorrow.” He dropped a kiss on her cheek and hugged her to his side. “There’s always tomorrow.”

“It looks great, Mom!” Kam surveyed the yard behind the farmhouse. Red, white, and black streamers wound around the porch’s posts, black and white checkered flags lined the stairs, and the racetrack tablecloth covered a long picnic table. Goodie bags filled with plastic racecars and candy sat in a red tin bucket on which Holden had helped Kam paint the word
NASCAR
.

There were games too. Johanna had made a Pin the Steering Wheel to the Dashboard game that she had tacked to the side of the barn. Ted had relabeled some plastic bottles so they looked like motor oil bottles and filled them with water for a game of Fill Up Your Engine. A black bucket with a marked fill line served as a mock engine.

And the most extreme game, the one that had Kam busting with excitement, was the Cart Race. Running parallel to the barn, Holden had cleared a swath of land after he and Kam had picked up all the large branches and yard debris caused by the tornado. The two of them had spread and compacted fine gravel in a big loop and spray painted a dotted white line down the middle. They used scrap wood and wheels to build two pedal-powered carts. They’d even painted the carts in flashy colors and put sponsor names and numbers on them. The party guests would get to take turns racing each other around the mini-track and would no doubt be exhausted by the time the party was over.

Kam had never looked so happy. He’d had a wonderful time working on the party stuff with Holden, and if Johanna wasn’t mistaken Holden had gotten something out of spending time with her son. She’d enjoyed watching them work together as well and was selfishly relieved Holden hadn’t remembered anything that would take him away from them yet.

Since their kiss in the barn three days ago, they’d kept a lid on their attraction in front of Kam and Ted, though Johanna caught the looks Ted tossed between them when they all sat at the dinner table. Were they giving off pheromones or something? Probably, because the moment Ted hobbled to the guestroom and Kam fell asleep in his bedroom, she was following Holden down to the basement where they kissed, cuddled, said naughty things to each other, and basically turned each other on until one of them came to their senses.

Waiting was getting to be a challenge. When simple things like seeing Holden standing at the refrigerator, combing the shelves for a snack, raised her heat level, she knew she was in trouble. Everything he did awakened her girl parts. Everything. She couldn’t stop thinking about him. Even when she sequestered herself in her office to work, part of her brain was still focused on Holden. She would have called herself pathetic if he hadn’t admitted to being in the same situation.

 A set of lips brushed against her cheek while Kam and Miles were inspecting one of the carts. She turned to find Holden standing behind her.

“Thought I’d sneak that in while the kid wasn’t looking.”

“I’ve been thinking about that.” Johanna looked up into Holden’s eyes and knew what she was about to say was right. “Maybe we don’t have to hide.”

It had been both of their ideas to keep a low profile so as not to get Kam involved in something that might not work out in the end. Protecting Kam was top priority to Johanna, but so was making him happy.

“For some reason, Kam genuinely likes you.” She poked Holden in the stomach, and he grabbed her hand to hold it there.

“Is that so hard to believe?” He took a step closer and already Johanna felt warmer.