Kisses to Remember (28 page)

She pulled him into a hug and he resisted for a moment then slid his arms around her.

“It’s terrible that no one came to claim him.” His voice was a little hoarse, a touch shaky.

Johanna stepped back so she could see his face. “Do you want to maybe plant a tree or something at the crash site? You know, in memory of him?” She hated seeing the sadness in Holden’s eyes. It ripped her up inside.

“That would be great. Thank you.” He gave her another squeeze. “Oh, and you can stop carrying around the Epi-pen. It wasn’t for me. It was Vaughn’s. He’s the one who used to order banana-nut muffins minus the nut.”

“Okay. I’ll dump it when we get home. C’mon.” She edged him toward the sign for hangar C. The sooner they finished here, the sooner they could get home. And home was where she wanted to be for however long Holden decided to stay.

When they arrived at hangar C, Johanna led them to a small desk. “Excuse me,” she said to the older woman seated there. “Is Carl Rutherson available?”

“Carl!” the woman shouted causing both Johanna and Holden to jump. “Somebody’s asking for you.”

“Be right there, Sandra,” came a voice down a jet bridge beyond the terminal gate.

“He’ll be right here,” Sandra said.

“Thanks.” Holden led Johanna to a group of seats. “Let’s sit here and pretend we’re going somewhere. Where do you want to go?”

“Hawaii,” Johanna said automatically.

“That answer was waiting to pop out.” Holden took her hand and rested it on his thigh. “Why Hawaii?”

She hesitated, then decided she had no reason
not
to be honest with him. “Right before Alex got arrested, we were planning a family vacation to Hawaii. The four of us for two weeks. I realize now he was trying to hide from the guys that were after him. Still, it would have been the longest trip we’d ever taken, the longest time we would have had Alex to ourselves. I’d taken the kids to a few places myself when Alex couldn’t get time off, but we’d never ventured all that far. I wasn’t sure about the trip with Kallie being so sick, but Alex said it might be good for her.”

“There’s still time to go.” Holden put his hand atop hers on his leg. His fingers rubbed against her knuckles and she closed her eyes.

“Not for Kallie.”

Holden slid his arm around her shoulders. “She’d still want you to see it.”

Johanna nodded, her throat too tight for speaking. Fortunately, Carl came out and changed the mood.

“Johanna!” He folded her into a bear hug. “Have you decided that significantly older men are what you’re interested in? Please, say you have.” He stepped back and gave Holden the once-over. “Shoot, who’s this kid?”

“Carl, this is Holden, the pilot I told you about over the phone.”

“You didn’t say he was all young and good-looking. I don’t have a shot, do I?” He shook Holden’s hand, but slumped his shoulders in defeat.

“I’m sorry, Carl.” Johanna patted his back. “If I were a few years older, maybe…”

“Ha! A
few
years? Try like twenty. Oh, well, Sandra, you’re stuck with me.” He blew the woman behind the desk a kiss.

“Oh, joy.” Sandra rolled her eyes.

“Don’t pay attention to her. She fantasizes about
flying
with this pilot.” He arrowed a thumb at himself and ignored the death glare Sandra sent him. “Okay, enough of this funny business.” He looked at Holden. “Johanna told me about your situation. You want to sit behind the controls of my bird and see if anything comes back to you?”

“That would be great. Thanks.”

“I’ll let you because it makes me look good in front of the lady here.” He gestured to Johanna while Sandra let out a disgusted noise. “Hush, Sandra.” Carl pointed at her. “I don’t have a flight scheduled until when, dear?”

“Not until 4:30 today, old man.”

“Weren’t you born the same year as me?”

Sandra shrugged, neither denying nor confirming her age.

“Chicks.” Carl slung an arm around Holden. “Are they any easier to deal with when you’ve got amnesia?”

“Well, I’ve only really dealt with that one.” Holden pointed to Johanna. “And I’ve enjoyed everything about those dealings.”

Johanna’s cheeks grew hot as Holden looked at her.

“I’ll bet you have. Lucky bastard.” Carl shook his head. “All right, c’mon. Bird’s this way.”

Carl led them down the jet bridge and when Holden climbed into the cockpit, Johanna was struck by how right he looked behind the controls.

How right and how damn sexy.

****

Holden ran his fingers over the controls and like a fast forward movie in his mind, all his pilot skills came rushing back. An older model King Air, Carl’s plane wasn’t much different from the one Holden had crashed in Johanna’s field.

“I can tell by the look on your face that you know what to do with this girl, don’t you?” Carl clapped Holden on the back as he eased into the co-pilot seat.

“I do. I totally do.” He named all the instruments, described pre-flight routines, talked about the engine and features of the plane. Once he started, he couldn’t stop.

That is, until he glanced back at Johanna sitting in one of the passenger seats. She flashed him a bright, encouraging smile, but it didn’t make her eyes sparkle.

“Excuse me a moment, Carl.” He abandoned the cockpit and kneeled down in front of Johanna.

“Sounds like it’s going well up there,” she said.

“It is. Thank you for bringing me here.” He gathered her hands in his. “I also know that each thing I remember is like a knife to you.” She started to shake her head and opened her mouth, but Holden put a finger to her lips. “I love you, Johanna.”

“You what?”

“You heard me. I love you. I think I loved you when you first came to my hospital room and stood in the doorway. Racecars are fun, I’d like to check out Texas, I definitely want to get back to flying one of these babies, but none of it means as much to me as you do.”

“Looks
and
eloquence,” Carl muttered as he squeezed by. “Some guys get everything.” He huffed out a breath. “I’ll give you two a few moments, then you want to take this bird for a spin?”

“You’d let me?” Holden tore his gaze from Johanna to look at Carl.

“Yeah, I saw all the evidence I needed the moment you sat in that seat, son.” Carl gestured to the cockpit. “You’re a pilot. No doubt about it.” He clamped a hand on Holden’s shoulder, then ducked out the side hatch. “Besides, some of my career was spent as a flight instructor, so it’ll be okay if you don’t remember everything. I won’t panic. Be back in a few.”

Slowly, Holden let his gaze travel back to Johanna’s face. She hadn’t moved a muscle since he’d told her he loved her. Shouldn’t there be some nausea or something in his own stomach over making that declaration? There wasn’t. Not even a little bit. In fact, he wanted to say it again. Announce it to the world. 

She reached out a hand and traced the edge of his beard around his chin. “I can’t say it back to you, Holden.”

His throat tightened and he dropped his gaze to the plane’s floor. Johanna’s fingers lifted his chin so he had to look at her.

“I can’t say it back until I know you don’t belong to someone else. When I say it, I want to know I can keep you forever.” She leaned forward and kissed him gently. Chastely.

“Then my next order of business is to prove I belong only to you.”

“I hope you can.”

Carl came back and Johanna opted to stay behind at the terminal to call Ted. Holden wanted to give her some space to think. He didn’t regret saying he loved her and had a strong suspicion it was taking some will power for her not to say it back to him. He could understand her perspective. It wasn’t just herself she was protecting. She didn’t want Kam to get hurt either. Holden had no intentions of hurting either one of them. He only wanted to love them both.

He’d fly this plane, then go back to Johanna’s house to make arrangements to go to Texas. He’d check out his house, hopefully find it uninhabited, and investigate Donovan Electronics. Someone there had to know him. He’d spend a week tops in Texas, then he’d pack a few things, fly back to Nebraska, and jump into Johanna and Kam’s waiting arms.

Having made this plan, Holden listened as Carl gave him the rundown on the protocol for this particular airfield. In his head, the voices of some of the controllers he’d worked with in the past while flying for DE echoed. He was more certain than ever he’d worked for DE and that someone over there was playing games in saying he hadn’t.

Why would someone want to deny employing me?
That question made his stomach clench a bit. Was it because he’d been a sketchy employee? Was he not a good guy? He felt like a good guy. He wanted to be a good guy for Johanna and Kam. Companies didn’t just forget employees, though, did they? Something wasn’t right.

“All right, kid,” Carl said. “You’re in position. Let her rip whenever you’re ready.”

Holden gave it some gas and the small plane rumbled beneath them. The familiar thrill of rolling down the runway, of picking up speed, of leaving the ground behind filled him. Within moments they were climbing in altitude and leveling off.

“A natural, kid,” Carl said. “A complete natural.”

“Yeah, I feel like…like me.”

“That’s got to feel good after all these weeks.”

“It does. A few more details to sketch in and I’ll have the complete picture.”

“And the girl too.”

Holden glanced at Carl quickly and the old man smirked. “How long have you known Johanna?”

“Since Ted introduced us a couple of years back. Shame what happened with her husband and daughter.” Carl shook his head sympathetically, and Holden’s chest tightened at the thought of Johanna going through all that. “But you seem to have put a smile on her pretty little face.”

“Yeah, and I’d like to keep it there.”

“That’s the tricky part. Me, I’ve been solo for about six years now since my Julie passed.” He shot a look up toward the ceiling and made the sign of the cross. “I play around with Sandra, but she’s grumpy most of the time and almost never smiles. I’ve tried everything.”

“Even flirting with women Johanna’s age?”

“Well, yes, I see your point. I suppose I could cut back on that particular activity, but I get bored sometimes.”

Holden laughed as he guided the plane a little higher out of some wind.

“Nice adjustment there.” Carl settled into his seat a little more. “You know, I’ve been looking for a partner. I’m getting too old for this stuff, but I’m not ready to completely throw in the towel. If you decide to stay in Nebraska, you want a job?”

Holden blinked in shock. “Really?”

“Yeah. You’ve obviously got the skills. I’ve got a lot of clients and you’d probably find ways to get even more, handsome guy like yourself. Only thing is you got to keep my name on the business. Rutherson’s Wings is a household name around these parts, and I did a shitload of work to get it that way.” Carl rubbed his left kneecap. “Sitting for the longer flights wears on me, so I could do the local stuff still and you could take the interstate stuff. Think on it. I know you got some things to sort out still, but when you’re ready, give me a call.”

“Thanks. That’s generous of you.”

“I’m a right generous guy.” He tipped an imaginary hat.

They flew on for about thirty minutes, then Carl said, “Let’s turn this bird around before we end up on a Mexican beach downing adult beverages we can’t even pronounce. I did that once and I’ll be willing to bet it’s a little like having amnesia.”

Holden made a wide arc to turn around as Carl spoke with the controllers about landing. By the time the plane touched down on the runway and taxied back to the gate, Holden had remembered where he’d learned to fly, how he’d gotten the job at DE, and that he’d once flew through a hurricane off the coast of Florida.

After thanking Carl profusely, he found Johanna sitting in a seat by Carl’s gate. She smiled as he approached and he always wanted to have that effect on her.

“How did it go?” she asked.

“Like riding a bike.” He took her hand and led her away from the gate. “And Carl offered me a job should I wish to stay in Nebraska.”

Johanna turned hopeful eyes to him, but quickly tried to mask her gut reaction by looking away.

“Oh no you don’t, Johanna Ware.” He stopped walking and put his hands on her shoulders. “I saw it. You want me. You so want me.”

“Shut up.” She collapsed against him and nuzzled her nose against his neck.

He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a good squeeze. “I’m going to make it so you can have me, so we can have each other. I promise.”

She sighed contentedly in his hold, and he swore to himself he’d do whatever was necessary to keep that promise.  

Sabrina stared at Claus Vannekar and Eli Brom as they sat in one of DE’s conference rooms. The two burly Germans looked like brothers with their light blond hair, stony blue eyes, and stern expressions. She would have loved to cut them loose, but she needed them. For now anyway. Just until Donovan Electronics ruled the world.