Kissing in Action (25 page)

"Oh! I thought you meant..."

"What did you think I meant?"

"Nothing! If you're not ready to..."

"Now my dad's there too," I said, looking past him, wondering what on earth Solomon was hedging about.

Solomon shifted in his seat to look at the house. "They must be waiting for us."

"I'm surprised my mom hasn't called my... oh." I stopped as my phone rang. "Hi, Mom!"

"Why are you sitting outside in the cold?" Mom yelled.

"It's not cold, the heater is still..."

"Do you not care about the environment?"

"Well, I..."

"Turn off the engine and come inside."

"The engine is..."

"We're all waiting."

"We're not late!"

"You're not early either," said Mom with a sigh. "You weren't even early for your birth."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"Birth?" mouthed Solomon, looking puzzled.

"My mom's complaining I wasn't early for my birth."

"Kind of late to complain."

"Good point. Mom, Solomon says it's too late to complain about that."

"I'm putting your father on," said Mom.

"Lexi, this is your father," said Dad.

"I know. We've met."

"Can you come inside please?"

"Yes, we'll be right there."

"But we're waiting!"

"I know. Just start without us. We'll be two..."

"Lexi!"

"Fine! Okay, we're coming. And don't let Mom call again if I'm walking too slow on the path."

"Okay, just make sure Solomon helps you."

"What?" I said, but he hung up. The last time I needed help on a path, I was eleven months old and learning to walk. "My parents are weird. We have to go in now," I told him as Lily and Jord pulled into the space next to the curb in front of us. We all got out at the same time.

"Did Mom just call you?" asked Jord as Lily and I hugged quickly.

"Yeah, and she's been curtain peeking."

"She told me to hurry up and get here before you. What did you do?" Jord continued.

"Nothing! Solomon!" I turned to my boyfriend as I took a deep, frustrated breath. "What did you tell them about work? Did you tell my mom?"

"I didn't say anything; I promise," he said, looking just as puzzled.

"I've just got to get the cake I baked," said Lily. "Go ahead. Be right with you. Jord, honey? Can you reach the cake?"

"How big is it?" I asked, laughing as Lily stuck out her tongue.

"I know you're mad at me," Solomon said as we walked along the path to the white house in which I grew up, "but that could be a good thing. Let's forget about yesterday. Come back to work, take the desk for a while. Forget all about this case, you don't need the stress. The desk is non-stressful. You could do background research. Maybe do a few phoners."

"I don't want to work the desk. I want to work cases like everyone else, and I don't want to get punished for one simple mistake... okay, a couple of bad mistakes," I corrected myself.

"You know B4U's album is set to make number one, thanks to the latest leak. It didn't turn out so bad after all. People love their sexy side!"

"Then why are you punishing me by offering me a desk job instead of my real job as a PI?"

"You're not being punished."

"Then why do you want me to take the desk?" I persisted.

"Just until the..." Solomon stopped as the door was thrown open and my mother held her arms out, grabbing me and pulling me close.

"My baby!" she wailed.

"Help me," I said, my voice muffled against her sweater. A wave of warmth rushed over me. My mother had the central heating on; there was definitely something afoot.

"Oh, my baby!" Mom wailed even louder as she released me to a shower of paper streamers flying over my head.

"What is this?" I asked, brushing pink and blue ribbons from my hair.

"Surprise! We know all about it! We're so excited. I can't believe you didn't tell me. Oh, my baby!" Mom pulled me in again. I peeked over her shoulder at my father beaming behind her. Beyond him, the entryway was crowded with my relatives, who were all applauding. "My baby is having a baby!" she yelled and everyone cheered.

"Baby?" I whispered, looking up at Solomon. He never looked so thrilled. "Baby?" I asked again.

"I found the stick in the trash," he said, smiling.

"Stick? Trash? What?"

"Sweetheart, I know you're pregnant. Baby, you've made me the happiest man alive." My family erupted into another round of cheers as we were pulled inside.

"Hold on! Hold on!" I waved my hands at everyone, trying to quiet them down. When they didn't respond, I yelled, "I'm not pregnant!"

Solomon frowned. "You are. I checked the lines against the directions on the wrapper. You're definitely..."

"I never took a test!

"I found it at my place," said Solomon, blinking. "I'm not pregnant, so it has to be you!"

"It's not mine!" I yelled even louder.

"No," said a voice behind me. "It's mine."

Chapter Eighteen

Amid the sea of pink and blue balloons crowding the ceiling, and the ribbons trailing over our heads, everyone was talking. It seemed the whole family turned out for the pregnancy announcement party they were throwing for me. However, despite the congratulations being shouted, and the feel of my niece, Chloe's, hands gently patting my stomach, was an air of confusion.

"You're pregnant!" I yelled, turning to see Lily behind me.

"You're not pregnant!" said Solomon.

"I'm not pregnant!" I yelled back.

"You're pregnant?" Solomon asked, also addressing Lily.

She smiled and waved. "Definitely pregnant," she said. "You too?"

"Definitely not," I told her, wondering how I could convey that message to everyone else. I started by taking Chloe's hands and placing them on Lily's belly. "You'll have better luck finding a baby over there," I told her.

"Then how did a positive test stick get into my house?" asked Solomon.

Lily raised a hand. "Me again."

"Hold on, hold on," Mom yelled over the puzzled voices. "Quiet, everyone!" When my siblings, in-laws, and nieces and nephews, filling the entryway quieted, she asked. "Which one of you is pregnant?"

"Lily!" yelled Solomon.

"No need to shout," Mom muttered. "Lexi, are you pregnant?"

"No! I keep trying to tell you that! I. Am. Not. Pregnant!"

"Solomon said you were pregnant."

"Solomon found Lily's test stick in the trash at his place and assumed it was mine."

"Why were you peeing on a stick at my place?" Solomon asked Lily. "Couldn't you do it at your own place?"

She shrugged as Jord wrapped an arm around her. "At least, I used your bathroom."

"John Solomon, did you get Lily pregnant?" yelled my mom, steaming towards him. What she thought she would do, I had no idea, but I got in between them just in case.

"No, Mom. He didn't!"

"Then who did?"

"Me, Mom," said Jord. "You know, Lily's husband."

Mom turned on her heel, launching herself at Lily and Jord. "I'm so thrilled. I'm going to be a grandma!"

"You're already a grandma," said Chloe, her hand sliding under Lily's sweater. "Where is it? Where's the baby? Can I play with it?"

Mom kissed Lily on both cheeks and hugged her again. "You're really not pregnant?" she asked me again, this time, giving me an extra suspicious look.

"No!"

"Is Solomon misfiring?" she asked, loud enough for the entire street to hear. "Can he not fire straight?"

"Yes!" I wailed.

"Is he firing those things? What do they call them? Blanks? Is Solomon firing blanks?"

I groaned and stuck my head in my hands as Solomon muttered, "I'm right here!"

"It's okay, honey," my mother said soothingly. "We don't judge here. Plus, you can always adopt."

"Oooh," I cried into my hands. "Please stop!"

"Maybe they can't swim," Mom continued, unabashed. "Maybe they need help."

"They don't need help. I'm very manly," said Solomon.

"He is." I nodded enthusiastically. "We're just not trying to have a baby. Look! Lily's pregnant. Yay! I need a drink." A large glass was pressed into my hand and my father gave me the weariest, most sympathetic look. It went perfectly with his "My daughter's going to be a mom!" t-shirt. He turned around and shuffled away. The back of his t-shirt read "Who's the Grandpa?!"

"My swimmers are like torpedoes," said Jord before my mother cuffed him.

"Can we please go inside?" I asked, edging forwards. "Lily needs to sit. I need to drink."

"Why are you all standing there? Come in! We have a gorgeous celebration dinner. I made cake! It's pink and blue. Traci made cobbler. What did you bring? Oh, cookies. Well done for trying, darling," said Mom as she relieved me of the cookie tray.

Somehow, I got elbowed out of the way in my mother's hurry to drag Lily inside and talk non-stop about pregnancy and swollen ankles, and pink or blue, leaving me pressed against Solomon.

"So, you're not pregnant?" he said softly when the entryway emptied, my family having followed Lily into the house, treating her like she was made of rare china.

"I'm really not pregnant. Oh, jeez, is that why you keep telling me to take naps and get vitamins and asking about my health all the time?"

"Yes."

"And the baby magazines?"

"Yes."

"And the talks about the future?"

Solomon nodded.

"Oh, wow."

"I thought you were pregnant."

"Didn't you think I would have told you?"

"I thought, maybe, you were waiting for three months or something?"

"Really? C'mon! Did you see my family? They can sense a pregnancy test within city limits. Wait; how did they know all this?"

"I ran into your mom when I was in the pharmacy, looking for prenatal vitamins, and she guessed. I made her promise not to tell even though she was really excited."

I looked over toward the living area, hearing the loud chatter carrying through to the entryway. "Do you think she paid any attention?"

Solomon smiled. "I guess there must be someone she didn't tell."

"Apparently, she didn't tell Lily."

"I don't think Lily minds. She's getting a surprise party."

"Did you know about the party?"

"No, I swear I didn't know a thing. I just knew I had to get you here on time or your mother was going to move in with us after the birth."

I swallowed the rest of the drink my father pressed into my hand and coughed.
Brandy
. "I think I need another one of these."

"Me too."

"Since I'm not pregnant, I could probably drink seven."

"Don't do that," said my sister-in-law, Traci, as she stuck her head around the door. "That's how I got babies two and three. Dinner is ready and no one thinks you're firing blanks, Solomon." She retreated and I snuck a glance at Solomon, sucking in my cheeks so I wouldn't laugh. Sure, it was horrible, but at least, I wasn’t being blamed for the miscommunication. I figured since it was only a matter of time, I would enjoy the brief reprise while I could.

Solomon and I squeezed into the last two remaining chairs, and my mother waited until everyone was settled before she stood. "We were going to celebrate my youngest baby's pregnancy today," she announced, "but unfortunately, Lexi isn't pregnant."

"Isn't Aunt Lexi too old to get pregnant?" asked my nephew, Sam.

"I am not!"

"Grandma said all your eggs will dry up and die in a couple years."

"Really?" I narrowed my eyes at my mother. She started playing with the servingware.

"Loads of times. Do you want me to crack one?" Sam continued. "Are they in your purse? I didn't see a grocery bag."

"No, but thanks, Sam."

"What are firing blanks?" asked Sam. "My dad doesn't fire blanks. He said he's always locked and loaded."

"Oh, jeez," said Garrett as Daniel slapped him on the back. "Thanks, son."

"Maybe Solomon can borrow some of my dad's bullets?"

"No, thanks," said Solomon and Garrett at the same time.

"Probably a good idea. It doesn't seem a nice way to have a baby. Usually, when you shoot someone, they die, but I guess it works different with ladies. Mom, can I have juice, please?"

"Yes, here, drink it all," said Traci, pouring him a large glass. "Just keep drinking. Don't stop."

"You always tell Daddy not to stop too."

"Huh?" frowned Traci.

"I guess he was pouring you a lot of juice last night when you kept saying, 'Don't stop, don't stop!'" Sam went on, oblivious to the giggles spreading around the room.

"Drink more!" yelled Traci.

Mom clinked her spoon against her glass. "As I was saying," she started loudly, "Lexi isn't pregnant."

"We know!" shouted everyone.

"And we mustn't make her feel bad about that. Pregnancy isn't for everyone and that's okay. Some people aren't meant to be parents; and if Lexi wants to be child-free, that's okay," she continued.

"Who said anything about being child-free?" I asked, only to be ignored.

"Plenty of people are child-free," Mon continued. "Maybe Lexi will get a nice pet, like a cat. Or take a lot of vacations."

"Things will stay where you put them," added Traci.

"And you won't have to change diapers," added Alice.

"Maybe I want to lose stuff and change diapers!"

"It's a shame though. Mixed race babies are fashionable. Kim Kardashian has one."

"Seriously?" said Solomon, very unseriously.

Mom nodded. "With Kanye."

"I might want a baby," I said quietly.

"But it's okay if you don't! Being in your thirties, you're a modern woman. You don't have to. You have a choice. You have a career!" said Mom, applauding her own statement. "And you can still have s-e-x. No one's judging."

"S-e-x," said Sam. "What?"

"Drink!" said Traci.

My dad made a strangled noise and stuck his fist in his mouth, appearing to bite it, as he closed his eyes.

"We might have a baby one day," I said, looking at Solomon.

"We might," he agreed, smiling slightly.

"Yay!" Lily yelled. "I'm pregnant! Hurrah! Hurrah for me and Jord!"

Mom turned from me. "I was just getting to that! We thought we were here to celebrate Alexandra and John's baby, but since they can't be bothered to produce one because they have very busy lives, and aren't thinking about the rest of us who would like to know what they're doing with their lives..."

"They're not even married," whimpered Dad. "They have to get married first."

Mom ignored him. "So, we're even more grateful for Lily and Jord’s special news! Congratulations!"

"Yay!" said Lily and clapped loudly.

"To Lily and Jord!" I yelled before my mother could continue with anymore of her mortifying speech, and raised my glass. "Congratulations!"

With all the dishes on the table, dinner was a feast. I had a spoonful of everything, and with conversations overlapping, my heart rate finally calmed down enough that I was able to talk to Lily.

"That’s why you've been so weird," I said.

"What do you mean? I've been totally cool."

"You're always busy when I call you, or you hang up really fast..."

"I didn't think you'd want to hear me throwing up."

"If I'd known, I would have come over and held your hair back."

"Oh, like the old days," she said, hugging me quickly.

"Now I know why you were drinking so much tea, too. Why didn't you tell me? My boyfriend found out before I did."

"Only he thought it was you, soooo really, he didn't find out," argued Lily, "but I'm glad he's still your boyfriend. Did he give you your job back?"

"He tried to give me a desk job since he thought I was pregnant and I passed on it."

"You could have surfed the desk for another few months until he noticed you weren't with child."

"Hmm, maybe. No, wait, no! I've changed! No more slacking like when I temped. Now I work hard."

"Speaking of working hard, how is..."

I held a finger to my lips. "Shh!"

"Oh, right." She pulled a face. "I forgot. Can I claim pregnancy brain this early?"

"Yes."

"But you're still doing the thing for... thing?"

I nodded. "And I found something?"

"The murder weapon?" Lily gasped, mouthing the words as the members of law enforcement surrounding us obliviously carried on with their conversations..

"No, we found that in Katya's back."

"Oh. What was it doing there?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Really?"

"Pregnancy brain!"

I wanted to tell Lily about Lauren and her secret visit to the mystery hotel room, but Solomon looked over at that moment. He reached for the dish next to me, passing it to Garrett before they continued their conversation. I couldn't risk him overhearing my discovery, not when I was working for Lauren. She wasn't exactly his competitor, but I wasn't stupid enough to think he would be pleased that I was still actively working on the investigation he kicked me off. I bristled about that all the way to my parents, but those thoughts were pushed to the back of my mind when the pregnancy party surprised me, not to mention Solomon's apparently willingness to have a baby with me. In the past hour, I forgot how angry I was with him, and fantasized about a beautiful future.

"I'll tell you later," I told her.

"Is it juicy?"

"Major juice potential."

"I can't wait."