Knight Protector (Knight Chronicles) (18 page)

“That would be wonderful and would relieve my mind greatly.”

“As for the rest, little can be done about a man’s infidelity. ʼTis in our nature. However, you mustna yield to temptation yourself. I advise you to seek out Father Cuthbert and confess all. He may be able to help you find solace in God.”

“I suppose you are right. I always feel much better after confession.” She rose, careful to keep the scrolled pages within the sheltering depth of her sleeve. “You are more than kind. I’ll remember how helpful you’ve been and see that you have a suitable reward.”

“’Twas my pleasure, my lady. Now if you will excuse me, I must meet with the cook in the kitchens.”

She opened the door and left. She hurried to the earl’s chamber and locked the door. The chamberlain had been strangely protective of the papers he shoved into that book, and she was still a bit amazed that MacClaren hadna noticed them missing.

She withdrew the vellum sheets and settled beside the hearth to study them.

“What do you do?”

She was so engrossed in deciphering the spidery writing she fell from her seat at hearing Colin behind her.

She scrambled to her feet and placed a palm over her racing heart. “I didna hear you come in.”

A corner of his mouth kicked up. “Aye,
muirnean
, purely fascinated were you. Might you share with me the cause?”

She reached up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. His hand reached for hers at the same moment.

He grasped her palm in one hand. With the other he removed the tress from her hold and tucked it away himself. His fingertips lingered, stroking her ear and rubbing the tender lobe between thumb and forefinger.

She trembled. He was too close. “If you continue that, I’ll nae be able to tell you anything.”

He sighed. “We canna have that now, can we?”

Nonetheless he leaned forward.

She raised her head, poising her lips for his kiss.

His mouth grazed her cheek, and he stepped away to set her hearth-stool to rights. Taking her hand in his again, he assisted her to sit her back to the near wall. “Dinna imagine,
muirnean
, that I found it easy to kiss you then nae carry you to bed.”

Slack-jawed, she stared at him. “Then why . . .?”

“Because you’ve something important to say, and I’ll nae distract you, much though we would both enjoy it.” He found another stool and seated himself opposite her, too far away to touch but near enough to keep her skin atingle and her belly aflutter.

His slightest touch was enough to send her spinning into longing and lose track of all reality. But if Colin was well aware of his effect on her, did resisting him made any sense? She’d already surrendered once, thinking she knew what she wanted. That was nae true any longer. And now, with her discovery nagging at her, was nae the time to examine her very confused feelings for him.

He gazed at her expectantly.

She told him of her conversation with the chamberlain. “The best part is that when I entered the room, he quickly hid these documents within a book. We were interrupted briefly, and I managed to take the pages while Sir MacClaren sent the person at the door away. I was reading them when you came in and startled me.”

“What’s in them?”

“Indeed, ʼtis difficult to explain.” She retrieved the documents from where they’d fallen on the rushes and handed them to Colin. “Here, read them for yourself.”

She waited.

Colin frowned as he read then lifted his head. “Do you know what this is?”

“I know it looks like a letter from the king of France to King John Balloil and the Guardians of Scotland rejecting a proposed alliance against England.”

“Right.”

“But the letter is false. There is no signature and the chamberlain was writing on that vellum when I entered the accounting room.”

“Now we know at least one of our traitors, and that he tried to forestall any joint effort between Scotland and France by creating this false missive. I wonder if this means the original letter has been found, and if someone will show up at the tavern one night from now and try to sell us this false document?”

“We’ve nae way to tell if the traitors have found the original letter from Philip of France. However, we could return this.” She pointed at the letter. “If Sir MacClaren doesna know we’ve seen it, he’ll need it if our bait is to be taken.”

He smiled at her. “Aye, we could. How long do you think the chamberlain will be away?

“A fair time, before I went to the accounting room, I asked the cook to wait a while then send for him. She will distract him for as long as she can, as I requested by haranguing him with a long list of complaints and worries then sending him to the village to acquire a stone
lamhag
, which she must have to prepare tonight’s dinner. Since it will be your first meal with your clan, the chamberlain will understand the cook’s concern.”

“’Twas a good plan. However, the chamberlain may order someone else to hunt for the stone axe then return to his work. I would do so if I left dangerous letters unguarded.”

“Then we’d best return these pages with all possible speed.”

“I will do so then seek out the steward to give him the same information,” Colin said.

“I know we are nae certain if the steward is a traitor. But what if he is in league with the chamberlain and they discuss what each of us has said?”

“’Tis why we are giving them the bait from two different sources. They will be more likely to believe it if both of us are saying similar things about the offer to buy the letter and about the discord in our marriage.”

“Very well, get you to the accounting room and speak with the steward. I’ll wait here.”

He rose and came to her, taking her hands and lifting her to her feet. “Will you wait for me to share more with you than the results of my conversation with the steward?”

She stared at him, confused by what she saw. Desire to match her own flamed in his darkened pupils, but something in the set of his mouth chilled her—could it be suspicion? “I . . . I dinna know my own mind. May I give you my answer when you return?”

He nodded. “I will hope for you to decide what will please you best.”

He bussed her cheek, dropped her hands, and left the room.

What was she to do? He’d given her all choice and made no attempt to manipulate or seduce her. He’d probably seen her own desire in her eyes and counted on her weakness to give him what he hoped for. Yet he’d said he hoped for what would best please her. She didna know what that was. Nae, that was wrong. She knew, but she doubted that pleasure grasped now would cause anything but pain later. For when their ruse ended, she would leave Strathnaver and never see him again.

• • •

Having successfully replaced the false letter in the chamberlain’s book and well satisfied by his talk with the steward, Colin entered the earl’s chamber and felt his heart stutter. Sorcha sat in the window seat, her head bent over her sewing and a sunbeam haloing her ebon hair. Her cheeks glowed in the gentle light. Her hands worked the tiny stitches with a delicacy that delighted when she touched him with the same care. Her breasts, pink and swollen in his memory, curved beneath her gown. The sewing covered her thighs. He’d prefer to do that himself. He’d seen her thus dozens of times the past weeks, and every time he’d longed to toss her on the bed and swive her into delirium.

But today was different. Oh, he still wanted to lay with her. However, he wanted to believe she was innocent, that she would nae use his dedication to Scotland against him. He wanted the friend he’d known ten years ago. But they were both different now. He could only pray they were nae so different that she would betray him, even if she believed she had cause
.

She raised her head, and those deep, gray MacKai eyes—eyes he’d once hoped he would see in his children—looked at him with that soul-searching frankness. He’d always felt naked and vaguely ashamed of the lust he harbored for her. He’d wanted to hide. Today, he knew he must risk all. He returned her gaze and longed for a time when his only fear was that she would see him, even inside the shadow his brother cast. Now he had too much to fear from her—betrayal and a desperate longing that could get him killed or worse. How much could he risk with her? His body certainly—she’d yet to attempt to murder him outright. His trust? He may already have risked too much there. His heart? He snorted in self-amusement. ʼTwas nothing of love in what he shared with Sorcha save an old and tired memory.

“Come. We’ve much to discuss, but it can wait.”

Taking his hand and rising, she nodded and walked with him to the bedside. “Aye, everything can wait.”

He released her hand, and reached for the ties of her garment and pulled, uncovering the creamy swells of her breasts to his view. “Tell me what you feel, Sorcha. Tell me what is in your heart.”

She shifted uneasily and lowered her head. Her hands twisted in the fabric of her gown. “I dinna know what is in my heart.”

Hoping she would tell him something that could cause him to trust her, he crooked a finger beneath her chin and lifted her head until her gaze met his. “Are you sure?”

“I tell you I dinna know for certain what I feel, but I know what I want.” She placed one hand over his where he toyed with her ties and pressed his palm to her flesh.

Beneath his fingers, her heart raced; the swift thuds echoing up his arm and forcing his pulse to match hers. Her chest rose and fell in a series of small gasps. Her lips opened, and her tongue stroked over them.

Colin’s cock leapt to its full, painful length. She destroyed him with a look. He prayed she would restore him with her kiss, her touch. “What do you want, Sorcha,
muirnean
?”

She rose on her toes and leaned toward him. “You.”

She breathed the word on his cheek then placed her lips on his. His hand trembled where it lay beneath hers. His other arm circled her waist, pulling her to him. She would nae mistake the strength of his desire.

“I want you naked with me,” she continued. “I want you touching me. I want you inside me and all around me. I want to stroke you, touch you, tease you until we both can stand nae more.”

She spoke against his mouth then sealed her lips to his and licked until he opened, then plunged within. Every caress brought more sweet pain. Heat rushed over his skin, and he tunneled a hand into her hair then took command of the kiss. He’d thought to torture her as she tortured him, but his invasion turned gentle as he sought to bring her delight.

“Colin, please.”

“Aye, let us please each other.” He swept the clothes from her body and lifted her to the bed, then stripping to his skin, followed her down.

His hands stroked her sides. She pulled at his shirt, frantic to feel his skin on her fingertips. She wriggled, needing to cradle the hard length of him between her hips. She couldna get the position right and mewled in frustration.

His head lifted away just enough for her to see the gleam in his eyes. “Hush,
muirnean
, I’ll take care of everything.”

• • •

Both hands on his neck, she yanked him back to her mouth. Plundering him with her tongue while twisting her hips repeatedly, she showed him exactly how she wanted him to take care of everything.

The air chilled her skin, and she welcomed the heat of his palm on her thigh. He stroked up, over, down, again and again until her knees went lax. Then he eased his fingers between their bodies.

Their mouths fused, he rolled off her, keeping her pressed to his side. The pressure she craved lessened then his hand found her most private flesh and strummed the nubbin there.

Her body nearly leapt from the bed, but his fingers moved away. She wanted to weep, but he’d promised to take care of her, of everything. Why wasn’t he?

His fingers returned, pressing delightful strokes, leaving to circle and tantalize, then arrowing straight for the knot of need and longing. The advance, retreat, advance, retreat went on and on. Would it never stop? Please, would it never stop. She writhed. He kissed her eyelids, her cheeks, the swell of her breasts, murmuring words made incomprehensible by her need. Her hips followed where he played.

“Please,” she begged.

“Aye,
muirnean
, you shall have it now.” His lips possessed her mouth, tongue plunging at the same moment his cock drove forward and penetrated her center while his thumb pressed the throbbing knot.

Her body arched, she cried into his kiss, and her mind shattered. Pulsing sensation, fever-pitched pleasure became her world. Naught was left as she flew higher and higher. She lost all sense of time, place, and self.

She became aware of Colin cradling her body, kissing her cheeks, stroking her breasts and murmuring meaningless words.

“Wha . . . what did you do to me?”

His hand stilled on her breast. “Nothing you didna wish,
muirnean
, and everything that felt very good, I hope.”

She opened her eyes, staring at him. “You dinna know?”

In the gathering dusk, he grinned. “Oh I know, but some women dinna understand that what we shared feels very good indeed.”

Her brow wrinkled. “I dinna think I like this talk of other women,” she said, still too scattered to guard her tongue.

His grin broadened, but he bowed his head in acknowledgement. “I understand. Just tell me that you like it.” He raised his head. The grin was gone and in its place, a pleading look that claimed her answer was utterly important to him.

Somehow, she’d gained a possible hold over him. “It was well enough.”

He placed his hands on her waist. Remembered caresses flooded through her as his hand smoothed across her belly. Sweet Mary in Heaven, if her pleasure held power over Colin, how much power over her could he wield if he knew how strongly she liked his caresses? She couldna let him know she had such a weakness. In fact ’twould be better if she never touched him again, for that way lay disaster. She nodded to herself. She would have to be very firm with Colin about her decision to keep him at a distance from now on. He would try to change her mind, but she could nae allow that to happen. She would find some way to remind him that she wished naught to do with him.