Knight Shift (45 page)

After spending the afternoon silently hiking through the woods, they found a small, family run café tucked on the outskirts of a long trail. Once again, they had successfully avoided their conversation. They entered the building and found a place to stow all of their gear. After they ordered some food at a counter, they turned to find a place to sit. They saw a kind looking, older man wearing a forest ranger shirt. When he saw Penny and Jax walk toward the center of the room, he looked up and gave the new arrivals a smile and a nod in greeting.

After they were settled at their table, Penny looked over at a young couple with a small child. The outdoor wear made it obvious that they were finishing a family day in the woods and, the big smiles on everyone’s faces made it clear that they had a wonderful time. While Penny and Jax ate, the sound of the child’s laugher broke the awkward silence between Jax and Penny and they began to talk about all of the things that happened while on their trip. Soon penny’s giggles also filled the room.

When Penny excused herself to go to the bathroom, the ranger walked over to Jax and asked, “Is that your wife?”

Fearing that another man had interest in taking care of his traveling companion, Jax quickly responded with a hint of anger behind his words, “We’re engaged.”

Ignoring his tone, he asked in wonder, “How did you do it?”.

Jax had no idea what he was referring to so he asked in return, “Do what?”

“Make her look at you that way.”

Still unsure of what he was talking about, Jax asked, “I don’t understand. What look?”

“I couldn’t help watching the two of you together and was mesmerized by the look in her eyes. That woman is head over heels in love with you. I would give anything to have someone look at me that way.” He held out his hand to Jax and, when Jax accepted it, the ranger locked grips with the hulking man and added, “Congratulations. You’re one lucky man.” He glanced over at Penny, who had stopped on her way back from the bathroom to show the small girl how to fold flowers out of her napkin, much to the child’s delight. Watching the scene, he added, “She’s going to make a great mother.”

Jax was dumbfounded. Unable to form a verbal response, Jax gave the man a nod in acknowledgement. He was saved from having to respond further when Penny returned to the table. Jax couldn’t help staring intently at his table mate, trying to determine if what the man had said was true.

Seeing his scrutiny, Penny picked up her napkin and, while wiping her mouth, asked, “Do I have something on my face?”

Jax quickly regrouped and shook his head. Suddenly wanting to get away from the situation, he asked, “Ready to go?”

Penny nodded with a smile.

The trip back into the woods was exceptionally quiet and Penny knew something was weighing heavily on Jax’s mind. As they walked into a gap in the trees, she decided to confront him. Before she could say anything, Jax turned to her and said, “We need to talk.” He pointed to a downed log.

She knew their moment had finally arrived. Penny sat down and watched Jax pace nervously. She asked, “I know we need to talk, but what’s wrong? We had a great time at dinner until I went to the bathroom. When I came back you were different. Did something happen while I stepped away?”

“The ranger said something to me.”

Penny jumped to her feet with anger on her face and exclaimed, “Unbelievable! I’m so tired of Humans being unkind to you. I wish I had been there to hear him. I would have given him a piece of my mind.”

Although Jax was touched by her continued need to protect him, he interrupted her tirade by saying, “Exact opposite. He congratulated me.”

Shocked silent, Penny asked, “For what?”

“For you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“He said that you’re in love with me. Is it true?”

Penny sat back down and contemplated how to respond. After taking in a deep breath she replied, “Is it that obvious?”

“So you are in love with me?”

She nodded and said, “With my whole heart.”

He went back to pacing. “But you can’t be. No one can love me.”

“I do.” She spoke with complete confidence and no doubt.

“But you shouldn’t. I don’t deserve to be loved by anyone.”

She patted the spot next to her and said, “Please, come sit by me. Following your pacing is making my neck hurt.” After he finally settled in next to her, she said, “Everyone deserves to be loved and that includes you. Actually I think you need it more than anyone on this planet.”

“I’m a Changeling and a killer.”

“We’ve spent every hour together for over three weeks. I know exactly what you are. You were forced to live a life full of hate, but you’ve allowed me to get to know the side of you that you’ve kept hidden away even from those you care about. That side is kind, full of passion, and has saved my life in countless ways.”

“If we could live in a tent away from the world, we would be the happiest couple on the planet, but that isn’t our reality. We come from two different worlds that can’t mix without disastrous results. Look what happened in Nashville when I tried to be a part of your Human world and what happened to you in Reno. And don’t forget what could have happened up in the mountains with Bobby. You deserve to live a quiet life with a devoted husband at your side and you need to be a mother so that you can pass on who you are to the next generation. A life at my side would mean no children. I won’t deny you a family.”

“Nothing you can say will change the fact that I love you. But I’m also a realist and know that we’re on life paths that are heading in completely different directions. The work you’re doing for your kind must continue. I also know that I’ll never be accepted by Changelings and would become a severe liability to your work if I tried to stand at your side. They’ll see you as being corrupted by the enemy—someone not to be trusted. But don’t worry, I’ll offer my blood for research.” Looking down at her ring and, twisting the band, she added, “I was put into your arms for a reason and I’ll be forever thankful for everything that you’ve done for me. Words can’t say how grateful I am that our paths crossed and we were able to travel down the road together for a while.” Looking back up into his eyes, she said, “I have absolutely no regrets and will cherish our time together forever.”

“You’re an amazing woman and I wish there was a way to make this work. Even if we’re not meant to be, I’ll be there for you and will protect you with my life. You’re more than family to me now—you’re my best friend and I’ll be there to catch you whenever you fall.”

“And you’re my best friend and always will be.” She heaved a sigh and added, “It’s getting late and we need to head back to the Rover. We have the real world waiting for us and it’s time for decisions.”

After a fairly quick discussion they decided that, when they returned home, they wouldn’t tell the family about the relationship they shared while on the road. They both agreed that if Sam and Susi knew, they would try to force a relationship that would never work in the long run. Jax knew that, for Penny to have a long and happy life, he needed to let her go.

Feeling both of their emotions simmering dangerously under the surface, she stood and said, “Decision made. Now let’s get down this mountain.”

There was so much more he wanted to say to her, but he nodded silently.

As they walked through the trees, Jax said, “Please talk to me.”

“About what?”

“I just want to listen to your voice for a while.” As they continued down the trail, he listened to her talk about her long term plans of being a painter. He let her voice fill his mind and knew that it was another thing he was going to miss greatly.

When Penny’s words slowed and then she went silent, he found he was overwhelmed by emotions and he wanted to tell her how much she truly meant to him. When his need screamed in his mind, he took her hand to stop her. He couldn’t hold in his feelings anymore and pulled her into his arms. While staring into her green eyes, he said, “I want you to know that meeting you was the best thing that ever happened in my life. You’ve fundamentally changed me and I know that I’m a better man because our paths crossed.” After a brief pause, he said, “I love you, Penny. I never thought I would say those words to any one. I know that we’re parting ways, but I wanted you to know.”

Her heart skipped a beat. “You have no idea how much hearing those words from you means to me. No matter what the future holds, you’ll be a part of me in here.” She pressed his palm over her rapidly beating heart.

He wrapped his hand around her neck and pulled her in, letting their lips touch. Their kiss quickly turned passionate. In a grassy clearing with the dim light from a crescent moon, they made love with each other. Unlike the previous night of pure fun and laughter, he found their embrace different. It wasn’t the desperate need for the pleasure her body offered. Now every cell in his body focused solely on the feel of the woman in his arms. He found that he couldn’t get close enough to her. Every touch was intensified and every subtle sound she made swirled in his mind hypnotically. As her heart pounded, his body had no choice but to follow her lead. It was as if they were no longer two separate bodies, but one shared being and the passion they felt for each other flowed freely between each other. When he felt the woman’s body below him finally give into the pleasure, his passion for her exploded from his body, making her arch into him and let out a moan so deep that he felt its vibration in his chest.

As he held their bodies together, the sensations they felt were forever etched in their mind. Although they had thoroughly enjoyed every time they were physically together, in their wildest dreams, neither of them could have imaged that their bodies were capable of the feelings of perfect contentment they were now enjoying. As Jax kissed the Human in his arms he knew that the difference was that they had opened their hearts fully to each other and released all barriers between them.

They spent the night wrapped together as one until the sun rose, announcing a new day.

When the warmth from the morning sun nudged the couple awake, neither wanted to get up. Then Jax gave Penny a kiss on the forehead and said, “Time to go home. The family will be waiting.” They both stood, got dressed, and headed down the mountain. Although they didn’t talk, their hands remained locked together.

Once they were in the Rover, Jax called Sam and told them they would be home in a couple of hours. He then drove to a nearby campground where he knew they had a shower. After they were cleaned up, they spent almost an hour separating all of their clothes and organizing the many presents they had bought along the way. After sharing a quiet early lunch, they pulled onto the road that would lead them home. As when they hiked down Mt Hood, Penny clung onto Jax’s hand so tightly that her knuckles were white.

When they turned onto the gravel drive leading up to Sam’s home, Penny asked, “Can you pull over for a moment?”

Jax did as requested and, once he put the Rover in park, he turned to look at Penny.

She sighed and said, “I can’t believe our journey together is over.”

“Are you going to be okay?”

“If you asked me that question a month ago I would have said no. When I learned that my family was gone I thought my world had come to an end. I honestly thought this was going to be a one way trip and I wouldn’t survive the ordeal. But you saved me. Although I’ve lived through my worst nightmare, these weeks with you has given me some of the best times of my life and I’ll cherish these memories forever.” She pulled off the engagement ring and handed it to him, saying “I was proud to stand at your side and wear this ring that marked me as yours.”

He shook his head and pushed her hand back towards her, saying “Please keep it as a remembrance of our time together.”

Although she wanted to argue, the ring meant a great deal to her so she nodded. “I’ll think of you whenever I look at it.”

He watched as she tucked the ring carefully into a pocket of her purse and the act made a pain stab him in the chest. “Can I come visit you from time to time?” he asked.

“You’ll always be welcome in my home—we’re family, but it would be easier if you didn’t come over for a while. I think I need to go cold turkey. I do hope, in time, we can continue our friendship. You’ll always be my first love, but I don’t want to be your last. It’s time for you to knock down that wall you have built around yourself and let others in. When you’re ready, I want you to find someone special and cherish her. We’ve proven that Ice can feel and give love. I don’t want him to lose that or I fear that part of you will revert back into the dark. And as for your family, you handpicked them and brought them here to live by your side, so you must have seen something in each of them that you needed. They care about you and would show you if you would let them.”

Jax didn’t think he would ever find anyone that he could love like Penny but, in regards to his current family, he said, “I’ll try, but old habits are hard to break.”

“Do you trust the Human in front of you right now?” she asked.

He replied without hesitation, “Of course; with my life.”

She gave him a brilliant smile and said, “See, you can learn to trust and open your heart—even to a Human. Now you need to let others in as well.” She looked up the road and said, “Well I guess we can’t put it off any longer. It’s time to face the real world again.” She leaned over and whispered, “Never forget that I love you and I always will.”

“I love you too, forever.” He pulled her to him and they shared one last passionate kiss. As a special thank you, Jax brought forward a part of Ice that Penny was especially fond of and Penny moaned as she felt the change in her mouth.

They broke apart and she said, “God, I’m going to miss kissing you.”

Before Jax continued up the lane, he took Penny’s hand and intertwined his fingers with hers. He held on so tightly that her fingers started to go numb, but she never wanted him to let go.

When they took the last turn, Jax asked, “Are you ready for this? You know they’ll be waiting to smother you with affection.”

“Actually yes. I’ve missed them all terribly and I’m anxious to see them.” When the stone home came into view, her pulse began to race.

Once Jax parked the Rover, their waiting family came running out of the house and he finally released Penny’s hand.

The moment Penny stepped onto the gravel driveway, she was greeted by a massive Great Dane that jumped up and licked her across the face. She gave him a big hug and, while scratching him behind the ears, said “It’s good to see you, Chad.”

Taylor pulled Chad off and hesitated for only a moment before he pulled Penny into a tight embrace. She hugged him back and he said, “God, I missed you.”

His arms were quickly replaced by Tadd’s who said, “It’s good to have you back home where you belong.” After he released her and took a close look at his friend, he exclaimed, “Wow! You actually look great.”

“Jax took very good care of me.”

Ben waited patiently for his turn and then he took Penny’s hands in his. After he studied her face for a few seconds, Penny said, “I’m fine, Ben. Really.”

His face softened instantly and he smiled, seeming pleased by what he sensed from her. With complete confidence, he replied, “Yes, you are.”

When Jax came around the Rover carrying the bags, all three men and the dog stared at a face they didn’t recognize. If they hadn’t seen the eye tattoo, they would’ve thought that someone else had brought Penny home. The look of hate that had distorted his appearance was gone, leaving a man that now looked almost Human. Ben’s grin grew wide as he looked at Jax and felt no anger or hate. For the first time, Jax’s thoughts were completely calm and ordered. At that moment Ben knew that the trip with Penny had fundamentally changed the hunter standing in front of him.

Taylor broke the silence by exclaiming, “Ice. The trip did you good.”

Although Jax had no idea what he meant, he found himself wincing at being addressed as Ice. Penny could feel how unsure Jax was and saved him from having to respond by saying, “Fur balls. Go get the rest of the bags.”

As the twins grabbed the luggage, Jax said, “Be extra careful with the blue silk bag. It’s holding the last of the ashes.”

Taylor took the bag and cradled it in his arms as if it was a sleeping child.

Penny turned to Ben, took his arm, and said, “Let’s go see the rest of the family.”

Ben happily escorted Penny into the house where Susi and Sam were anxiously waiting to see her. As soon as she was within the doorway and out of the light from the afternoon sun, Susi pulled Penny into her arms and held her with tears streaming down her face. “It’s so good to see you. We were so worried.”

Sam added his arms and, after giving Penny a kiss on her forehead, he said, “Welcome home.”

With tears freely streaming down Penny’s cheeks, she replied, “I missed you both so much.”

Susi instantly went into mothering mode and, between kisses and hugs, she asked, “Can I get you something to eat?”

“Thanks, but we stopped for a bite about an hour ago.”

Sam looked over at the hulking man walking through the door behind Penny and saw a new man. He held out his hand to him and said, “Welcome home, Ice.”

Jax shook his friend’s hand and replied to the room, “My name is Jax. Please use it instead of Ice.” After a deep sigh, to everyone’s surprise, he placed his hand on Sam’s shoulder and added, “It’s good to be home,” and he meant it.

As the twins walked into the house with their arms full of bags, Taylor called, “Hey Peanut, I hope there’s something in these for me.” Realizing that he used the nickname that her brothers had come up with, he quickly apologized by saying, “I’m so sorry, Penny.”

“No, it’s okay. You can call me Peanut, if you like. Max will haunt me if you don’t.”

Jax added, “And none of you have to worry about lack of gifts. Penny is quite the shopper. The bigger items I had to ship. They should arrive any day.”

They all gathered in the living room and, when Penny spotted a particular bag she was looking for, she called, “Tadd, can you bring me the big envelope that’s in the white bag?”

After he handed it to her, she pulled out two small silver pouches. She then handed one to each of the twins. Once they opened them and held out the silver eagle pendants, Penny explained. “These were my brothers. My dad gave it to them when they became Eagle Scouts and they rarely took them off. They were wearing them when they died.” When her voice broke, Susi squeezed her hand. Penny added, “They were very important to them and I know that they would want you to have them.”

The twins suddenly held the pendants as if they were holding a priceless heirloom, their emotions clear in their faces.

Penny encouraged, “Go ahead and put them on.”

The twins did as instructed and Taylor said, “We’ll wear them with pride.”

Given their expressions, Sam didn’t think they would ever take them off. He said, “I wish all of us could have met your family.”

Penny replied, “Me too.”

Jax handed Tadd the camera, the bag containing their maps, and Penny’s travel journal. He said, “On our way back, we took thousands of pictures. Would you be willing to help Penny put together a video diary? The map and brochures will give details on every stop we made.”

Tadd stood tall and said, “I’ll start on it right away.”

Penny said, “Give me a few days and I’ll come over and walk through all of the pictures with you. Then you can help me organize them.”

When she started to hand out packages, Sam said, “You shouldn’t have spent time buying us things.”

She replied, “It was a good distraction.” No further explanation was required.

For the next few hours, she handed out gifts until there was a tall pile in front of every person in the room. Penny shared some highlights from the trip and they continued to talk until the sun was low in the sky. They then all worked side by side to make their evening meal. After they were done eating, Penny stood and announced, “I think it’s time for me to head home.”

Sam said, “You’re welcome to stay here.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I’m anxious to check on the cabin and crawl into my own bed.”

Taylor teased, “And to check on Casper, that ghost of yours. I bet he’ll be glad to haunt you again.”

Penny couldn’t stop herself from glancing over at Jax. She held in her reaction, knowing that she would never feel the tingle of Casper again. While forcing a smile, she said, “I bet I’ve been gone long enough that he found a new cabin to haunt.” She looked to the twins and said, “I saw my car outside. Can you put my bags in the trunk?”

“Consider it done. We can drive you home if you want.”

“That’s okay. Jax did almost all of the driving while we were gone. I’m looking forward to being behind the wheel of that old girl.”

Everyone walked Penny outside to her car and, once everything was ready, she looked to her Changeling family and said, “I’ll be spending the next few days catching up on my sleep, but I’ll give you a call tomorrow.” She turned to Jax. Although she wanted to race into his arms, she knew if she touched him she would never let him go. Instead she said, “I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done for me. I’ll be forever in your debt.”

He gave her a slight bow and said, “The pleasure was all mine. If you need me, call.”

Penny got into her car and, moments later, she was driving down the lane. She kept her eyes forward, refusing to look at what she was leaving behind.

As her car disappeared around the bend, Jax felt like a piece of himself left with her. It took every bit of strength he had to turn around and walk back into the house. Without saying a word to anyone, he went to his room and closed the door. Sam caught his expression of pain, so he let him go to sort out whatever was weighing on his mind.

*~*~*~*

The closer Penny got to her cabin, the faster her pulse grew. She really missed her home and was very anxious to spend quiet time in familiar surroundings. When she parked in her driveway, she picked up her phone to send a text informing her family that she made it home okay. Initially she selected Jax as the recipient out of habit but, in the spirit of going cold turkey, she changed it to Susi.

After the message was on its way, she went inside. She flipped on lights and breathed in her home’s familiar and deeply missed scent. She tossed her keys into the tray by the door as she had done hundreds of times and then walked to the kitchen. She smiled, seeing that her cabinets and refrigerator were all filled with fresh food. She grabbed a can of pop and headed back outside to carry in all of her luggage and bags.

Once she had everything unpacked, she went to the shelf in her bedroom closet and pulled out her treasure box where she hid all of the tokens she considered precious. She gently placed her parent’s wedding rings and her fake engagement ring inside. Seeing the large pink bow and several other items from Jax, she quickly closed the box and left the room.

After starting a load of laundry, she sat down on the couch. When she spotted her Casper pillow lying beside her, she picked it up and hugged it to her chest. Then, without warning, her emotions burst to the surface and she started to cry. A slow stream of tears over the loss of her invisible best friend led to harder tears for the family that she would never see again. And when Jax’s face appeared in her mind, looking just as he did when he told her he loved her, she broke down completely. She continued to sob until her body shut itself down and she passed out on the couch from mental exhaustion.