Knights-of-Stone-Bryce (13 page)

Wait, she’d survived—but what if he hadn’t? What if he’d been injured? He had to be okay.

Padding across the stone floor of the castle, she pushed open the wooden door and peered into the hall. “Hello?”

Sounds of movement in the distance caught her attention. In seconds, Aileen appeared.

“You’re awake, dear. So good to see you on your feet.” She scanned Mairi. “I’d hug you, but wouldn’t want to hurt you. You’re still recovering.”

“I’m feeling better—I think.” It had to be true. The last memory was of blistering flesh and plunging to the earth. Anything had to be better in comparison.

“You must be hungry,” Aileen fussed. “Let’s get you something to eat.”

“I could eat,” she replied, noticing the emptiness in her stomach.

Aileen’s doting made her feel cherished. She thought of her mother and the memory was both comforting and painful. Would she ever be able to move past her grief and remember her parents with fond memories, rather than be haunted by their loss?

It had been less than a fortnight since she’d lost them, and grieving was a process, or so she’d heard. She only wished she didn’t have to go through it so alone.

Where was Bryce? In what she hoped didn’t sound too eager, she asked, “Are your sons all right?”

“Aye. We were lucky. They all sustained injuries to some extent, but nothing like what you suffered.”

“And the rest of the clan?”

“Them as well. Many injuries, but most have already recovered from their wounds.”

That was a relief. Shifters healed quickly. “What about the demons?”

“Defeated,” Aileen said. “I heard about the battle. Without your bravery, they never would have been able to surprise and overpower the sluagh the way they had.”

Not without a price. But what was done was done. At least, they’d defeated the demons and they couldn’t hurt anyone any longer.

All she’d wanted since they’d attacked her clan was revenge. Yet now that she had it, the victory seemed as hollow as the ache within. She was still missing something.

Or someone.

“Where’s Bryce?” she asked, trying not to sound too eager.

His mother’s eyes took on a concerned expression. “He had to go back to the Isle of Stone.”

He’d left her?

Her insides dropped, amplifying the emptiness within.

“He’s very concerned about you,” Aileen added. “Insisted I take good care of you.”

Mairi barely heard the words. They swam off in the distance like she was underwater.
He’d left her.

Whatever had been developing between them was all in her head. He’d ditched her as soon as he could. Got rid of her.

And why not? She’d interfered with his life. He might have helped her out of feelings of obligation or gargoyle code, but the task was done, and he’d moved on.

“I’m sure he will be eager to hear you’re awake,” Aileen added.

Mairi blinked, wrapping her arms around her torso. “On second thought, I’m not really hungry.” She forced a smile and knew it was weak. “Thanks for watching out for me.”

“Oh Mairi, you have to eat!” Aileen clapped her hands together, eyes filled with distress. “It’s been almost three days. You need to recover, and starving yourself isn’t the way to do it.”

She would clearly not let Mairi leave without feeding her. “All right.”

While Aileen led her down the hall to a dining area, she said, “My boys have more spontaneity than sense. Reckless. Always have been. Half the time, I’m surprised they even made it to adulthood with all their foolish excursions. Their rock concerts—” She shook her head. “Don’t even get me started.”

Mairi listened without comment, trying to ignore the lump in her throat. The kisses she’d shared with Bryce flashed in her mind. And the night they’d spent together before the battle… Wow. He’d said the way they’d connected might have had something to do with being with the right person.

Full. Of. Shite.

She shouldn’t have listened, since for him, it had just been sex. Nothing more. And all those moments they’d shared—even during the fight, together—she’d misinterpreted their closeness, imagined their connection. It hadn’t meant anything at all. He didn’t care for her the way she’d thought. If he did, he wouldn’t have left her here in the Highlands. Her bottom lip trembled, hot tears scalding her eyes.

No. She squeezed back the tears. She hadn’t gone through hell and back just to end up a pathetic mess because he’d rejected her. She took a deep breath to steady herself. She was a survivor.

Aileen prattled on. “I’m happy Mason and Lachlan have smartened up and settled down with mates, but the others—I can’t see Gavin ever committing himself to another.” She turned to Mairi. “I thought Bryce and you…” She clucked her tongue. “He’s a proper idiot. Stubborn as always.”

And Mairi was a fool to have fallen for someone who didn’t want her.

Staying here would be too much. She’d be taunted with reminders of him. The time they’d spent together. Their one night. Aileen would fret over her—
his
mother. Not hers.

Another reminder of him.

She had to leave here as soon as she’d recovered. Had to find a way to move on with her life—even if it meant doing so alone.

Back on the Isle of Stone, Bryce searched the familiar surroundings, seeking relief at being home. None came.

Raina had raced over to Lachlan when they’d returned. Mason had continued to the moors and back to Kayla.

“You made it,” Raina said to Lachlan. “I was so worried the entire time you were gone.”

“I’m here,” Lachlan replied in the gentler tone he only used when speaking with her. “Fine. In one piece. Nothing to worry about.”

Bryce tried to ignore their interaction, but an ache grew. He could have had something like this with Mairi. Someone who he cared about. Lived for.

He thought he’d made the best decision for them both. She could stay with a full clan in the Highlands and he could continue his life on his terms—a free bachelor and beta in the clan with his brothers. His plan now rang as shallow.

It will fade. Just give it time.

Days had passed, and the ache continued.

His brothers had given him space to brood, but one evening Mason said, “I’m surprised you were able to leave her.”

He gritted his teeth. Did Mason think it was easy? It had been the most difficult thing he’d ever done in his life. He’d thought it was best for her. And the clan. Or was it for himself? He didn’t know anymore. All that remained were feelings of loss.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Are you going to visit her?” Mason prodded.

“I said I don’t want to talk about it!”

“Somebody’s got a pickle up his arse,” Gavin said.

“You need to learn when to shut yer gob!”

His brothers eyed him as if he was a new species that had crawled onto the Isle of Stone. Not that he could blame them. Lashing out wasn’t like him. Banter had always been part of their daily lives. Ribbing each other about whatever topic came up, especially women. They hadn’t even been giving him a hard time, and he’d flipped out.

His feeble attempts at using distance to get Mairi out of his mind were clearly failing.

Had he made a mistake? The biggest mistake in his life?

He plodded past the cabins, which he’d shown to Mairi. They mocked him. Possibilities that would never come to be.

Families had lived there. His family had lived there. He could have lived there—with Mairi.

Why didn’t Lachlan and Raina choose to make a permanent home in one? Or Mason and Kayla. They were building a home far from them in the copse when there were sound structures already built. Perhaps choosing gargoyle territory wouldn’t sit right with the pack and coven. But if they embraced a new era, they could establish homes there. Each would have privacy. The gargoyles could rest under the sun on the amphitheater the way they loved. A win-win situation.

For most.

Time to shut down a fantasy that would never happen. Mairi wasn’t here.

Which meant he wanted no part of that dream.

Days stretched on. Every day or two, he’d go with Lachlan to the peace talks in the moors. With the threat of the humans gone, and one of the beta wolves absent, the urgency to come to an agreement faded. After initial interest in the other species and the territories that had been off-limits, the fascination had settled down. The witches, wolves, and gargoyles seemed content for the most part to continue to live as they had been for the past twenty-five years.

While in stone, when he flew with his brothers at night, his mind always drifted back to Mairi. Was she recovering? Was she awake? He wished he could communicate with his mother in the Highlands for updates on Mairi’s progress, but couldn’t from such a distance.

What tormented him most was the absence of how he’d felt around her. Over a week had passed since he’d seen her, and the feeling seemed to grow, not lessen. With her, he wasn’t second. Second-born, second-in-charge, second best. She’d listened to him, engrossed. Beautiful eyes gleaming with interest.

Number one.

Before he’d met her, he was all right with being second. The fewer expectations and responsibilities made up for the pangs of jealousy, which hadn’t struck that often. With her, he’d had a taste of what it was like to feel adored. The way she looked to him for safety or comfort. And how she’d trusted him with her darkest secrets.

Night had fallen, and they’d just shifted from stone. His body still adjusted to the invigoration with the surge of blood pumping through his veins as the five of them took flight over the Isle of Stone.

You all right, mate?
Gavin asked.

Aye. Why do you ask?

You’ve been too quiet lately.

Morose
, Calum added.

Bryce kept his focus straight ahead as he flew, a lost soul among the endless stars.

It’s been a rough month.

Has it ever,
Calum replied.

You sure it has nothing to do with Mairi?
Mason asked.

The sound of her name sliced him. He jolted his head and then recovered to play it off. He’d warned them not to bring up her name again after he’d snapped at them earlier. Yet Mason had opened that guarded space where Bryce had stuffed his feelings for her.

What about her?

You seemed to have grown rather—close.

She’s with her new clan, I’m with mine.
At least, he’d moved to a point where he could talk about it and not snap at them.
What else was there to say besides goodbye?

Gavin coughed aloud and muttered “rubbish” under his breath.

Perhaps Bryce’s connection with Mairi wasn’t all in his head? The distance from her hadn’t done a damn thing to keep her off his mind. So his rationalizing clearly had failed.
Why do you say that?

We saw the connection
, Mason said.
How devastated you were when you thought she was gone and tried to save her.

Mason’s words jabbed like a blow, no matter that he hadn’t intended them that way. They went right for Bryce’s worn out heartstrings.

And she made it. She’s alive. We both need to move on with our lives.

He flew ahead, signaling the end of the conversation.

The next day, the inquisition grew when Raina approached.

“What are you doing, Bryce?”

He straightened. “What do you mean?”

“This is ridiculous. Lachlan has never seen you like this. So down.” Lachlan must have talked to her about the situation. She turned and scolded his brothers. “I don’t see how you can’t talk to him about something clearly bothering him.”

“We tried,” Calum said.

“He bloody well bites our heads off or gets all mopey,” Gavin added. “Why don’t you give it a go? You know, being female and all.” He motioned her way.

“Thanks for the astute observation,” Raina said with an eye roll. “The more time I spend with you lot, the more I wonder if you forget to shift your brains from stone,” she added with a grin.

Gavin laughed. “Not our brains. Our cocks maybe.”

“Hey!” Lachlan pointed a finger. “There will be no talk of cocks in front of Raina, understand.” A smile curled up from one end of his mouth. “Unless it’s mine.”

Raina shooed him. “You’re not helping.”

Lachlan made a zipping gesture over his lips.

Turning back to Bryce, Raina asked, “Do you love her?”

Oof, she went right for the jugular. His skin prickled with goosebumps. “Love? We barely know each other. Only spent a few days together.”

She exchanged a glance with Lachlan and faced Bryce. “Sometimes, that’s all you need.”

“I—uh—don’t know.” Searching beyond the shore to the ocean for answers, he added, “I had to return here. I have responsibilities to the clan.”

Lachlan stepped up to him and patted him on the shoulder. “We appreciate your loyalty, but there’s nothing going on here that can’t wait.”

True. The magical veil had been restored. The humans were gone. The island’s residents weren’t at each other’s throats.

“What do you want?” Lachlan asked.

Good question. A week ago, Bryce had an answer. Creating a new stability with their clan and resurrecting the Knights of Stone. When he’d gotten Mairi off the island, he’d promised himself female attention to help himself move on. That hadn’t worked. Any time he saw a bonnie lass, it reminded him of one thing—she wasn’t Mairi.

He searched inside. What did he long for, now?

Her.

Not only sexually. The sensual attraction was consuming in itself. Being in her presence reached him on another level. How he liked to touch her or make her laugh. And protecting her—wow. Now he understood such a strong drive when a gargoyle had found a mate. Caring for her had given him a purpose he hadn’t known was missing in his life.

He’d always been part of a brotherhood, part of a clan. With her, the belonging was different. More intimate.

They were each one half of a whole. Partners. A couple.

Mates.

Bryce groaned. He’d been a proper idiot for leaving her in the Highlands. Without even putting himself out there to take a chance.

He had to see her.