Knockout (9 page)

“You’re such a child,” Laney said scathingly.

“I’m a child? You’re a spoiled brat.”

“We’re not poor, Kellen. Why would I act like I am?”

“I’m not asking you to act poor. I’m telling you to stop being such a snob.”

“Maybe you should stop being so…”

“So what?” he asked, his voice going low. “Say it.”

“You’re going to be a lawyer. I know you don’t have a lot of money now, but you will. You go to that ghetto ass gym and you never wear anything nice. You drive that piece of shit old motorcycle. I try to buy you nice things but you never take them.”

“Say it,” he growled.

“You’re white trash!” she shouted, exasperated. “You act like poor white trash. It was hot in high school but it’s time to grow up and be an adu—Where are you going?”

“I’m leaving.” he growled, his voice barely audible to us in the kitchen. “We’re through.”

“What?” she shrieked. “You can’t be serious.”

He was. We all knew it and Laney knew exactly what she was doing when she used that term. When she called him trash. It was the hottest of hot buttons for Kellen Coulter and I shot out of my seat because I knew what was coming.

“Jenna, sit down,” mom hissed, reaching for me.

But I was too quick. I was already gone.

I heard the door fly open as I ran from the kitchen. I saw a blurry image of Laney standing red faced and angry in the living room. I saw the darkness outside the open door, heard the crunch of angry footsteps on the driveway. On my way out through the foyer, I
snagged Laney’s hot pink helmet from where she’d tossed it when she came inside. Kellen had given it to her on her eighteenth birthday when the ban from the back of his bike had been lifted. It was still in effect for me, but I was beyond caring at that point.

I saw his back, broad and dark as he swung his leg over his bike. It roared to angry life, the headlight snapping on and cutting through the darkness. I barely made it to him before he lifted the kickstand and settled in.

I threw myself against his back hard, opening my legs to slide over the back of the bike.

“Fuck you, Laney. Get—“ he snapped, turning in his seat. His eyes went wide with surprise when he came face to face with me. “Jenna, what the hell?”

“I’m going with you,” I told him.

I took the momentary pause in his rage to put on Laney’s helmet.

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am.”

He sighed in annoyance. “I’m not in a good place right now, Jen. I don’t want you on the back of my bike.”

“That’s exactly why I’m going with you. You’re angry and you’re going to drive angry and it’s dark out. You’re going to drive along the coast, aren’t you?” He nodded, his eyes on mine. “Yeah, no way. Not alone. You’ll drive crazy on those curves and get yourself killed. That’s why I’m going with you.”

“So you can get killed too? Get off the bike.”

“No,” I said softly. “Because you’d never hurt me. If I’m here, you’ll be careful.”

Kellen stared at me blankly. His nostrils flared as he took several deep breathes but his eyes never left mine. Finally he turned around slowly, facing forward and taking hold of the handle bars.

“Wrap your arms around my waist and hold onto me hard,” he said gruffly. “Clench the bike and me with your legs, lean with me when I lean. You got it?”

I scooted forward until I was straddling him from behind, my inner thighs pressed tightly to his body. When I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged myself to the wall of muscle that was his back, I became very aware of everything. The cool night breeze, the sound of the ocean nearby, the tangy taste of salt on the air. He started the engine and suddenly there was the rumble of the bike beneath me, the smell of exhaust and the feel of his large, warm hand on top of mine when he pinned it firmly against his body. I could feel him take a deep, steadying breath, his stomach rising and falling under our joined hands. Then he let me go, revved the engine once and we were off.

We drove slowly around town for at least an hour, neither of us saying anything. I could feel how tense he was beneath my hands. I was hugging stone. He needed to come down. To relax and breathe for a minute. And to get to that calm, I knew he needed to hit something.

“Kellen,” I said in his ear when we’d reached a stop sign, “take me to your gym.”

He didn’t answer, he only nodded. Then he violently spun the bike around in the empty intersection and we raced toward his old neighborhood. We blurred past boutiques and restaurants, past the fancy hotels and the overpriced ocean view apartments. We rode deeper into the city toward the tall buildings with alleys in between. The passing cars changed from Range Rovers and Lexus’ to old Hondas and faded Chevy models that were decades past discontinued. I’d been down here in this neighborhood several times with dad over the years to watch Kellen box. We’d been to gyms all over town, following the venues as they hopped from place to place. Some were nice, some were alright and some were super sketch. Kellen’s gym was one of the latter. I’d only been there in the daylight before and tonight in the dark pulling up outside that decrepit, tagged brick building, I was a little nervous. Especially because I was barefoot.

Kellen killed the engine and waited for me to get off the bike so he could as well, but I hesitated.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, turning to look at me. He saw my worried expression. “You’re scared, aren’t you? I shouldn’t have brought you here. I’ll take you home.”

“No, I’m not scared. Not of the neighborhood, but maybe of tetanus.” I lifted my leg up so he could see my barefoot pale and white in the moonlight. “I rushed out of the house to catch up to you and I didn’t put on shoes.”

I felt him chuckle briefly. It was nice. Better than the anger.

“Hang on,” he told me as he dropped the kickstand and swung himself off the bike.

He unclipped his helmet, reached out and unclipped mine, then handed them both to me. The second I had them in my hands he swept me off the bike up into his arms.

“Whoa!”

“I’ve got you,” his voice rumbled deep against my side.

He carried me into the dark building like a prince going the wrong way. This was the dragon’s den, my palace sitting miles away on a cliff overlooking the sea. This fairytale was running in reverse but I liked it better. It was more exciting than Cinderella.

When we got inside the place looked closed. The lights were low for the evening and there was an old guy sitting at a desk in the corner with a small lamp turned on over
its surface. He was reading a magazine but whether it was
Better Homes and Gardens
or
Hustler
, I couldn’t tell from here. He looked up and nodded to Kellen when we entered. Neither of them said a word to each other.

Kellen carried me to the opposite side of the gym where he set me down in a chair.

“Keep your feet up,” he said before disappearing into a backroom.

When he came back out he had red tape in his hands, the kind he used to wrap his hands inside his gloves. He knelt in front of me as he pulled the end of the tape free, then he lifted my foot and started wrapping it.

“What are you doing?” I asked, watching as his swift, efficient hands made quick work of my embarrassingly large foot. I understood the physics of it, that I needed that canoe to be this tall and not fall over, but I was still self-conscious about it. Find cute shoes in a size 11, I dare you. Find a size 11 in women’s at all!

“I don’t want you walking around here barefoot. It gets cleaned but not well and guys spit, sweat and bleed all over this place. Is this too tight? Does it hurt?”

“No,” I said softly. He was done wrapping it and both his hands were roaming over my foot, feeling to make sure it was covered but not too tightly. It made me shiver once quickly. Kellen felt the tremor run through me and he looked up.

“Are you cold?”

I shrugged. “A little, maybe.”

“Here,” he said, pulling his T-shirt over his head. He was naked underneath and I was shivering again. He draped the shirt over my head, pulling my hair free for me and
letting it fall long and dark over my shoulders. When he sat back on his heels he grinned up at me. “It looks good on you.”

I chuckled. “It looks huge on me.”

Kellen quickly wrapped my other foot before standing up and surveying the gym. He glanced back at me once, his face unsure. I waved him on.

“Do what you’ve gotta do. I’m fine.”

“You’re not scared being here?”

I shook my head. “I’m never scared when I’m with you.”

He grinned faintly before looking away. “Laney has never been here. All this time and she’s never shown up. She said she doesn’t like the neighborhood. She’s worried her car will get stolen.”

“Kellen, what she said tonight—“

“Is true,” he cut me off harshly, his eyes going dark. “She’s right. I’m poor white trash, Jenna. It doesn’t matter what grades I get or college I go to. I’ll always be poor white trash.”

“Those aren’t the same thing,” I told him, getting angry.

“What isn’t?”

“Poor and trash. Those are two completely separate things and you know it. You’ve met some of Laney’s friends. Hell, you’ve met some of my parent’s friends. They’re rich as shit but some of them are straight up trash. People lying to each other, cheating on each other, stealing from each other. Money doesn’t make you a good person. If anything, it ruins you.”

He continued to stare into the distance. I knew he heard me but I also knew I wasn't getting through. He was gone. Detached the way he got when the world expected too much.

“Hey, look at me,” I told him.

Finally he brought his dark eyes to mine.

“When you look at me, do you only see a rich girl?”

Kellen’s brow pinched. “No. Not at all.”

“Good, ‘cause when I look at you, I don’t see a poor boy. I see you. All of you. The boxer, the genius, the smartass, the know it all. You are who you are, Kel. You’re not
the place you grew up in or your bank account. You’re you and I happen to think that you are pretty fucking amazing.”

He smirked and when the light of it hit his eyes, I sighed inside. “You’re pretty fucking amazing yourself.”

“I know. Now go do what you do until you feel like yourself again. I’ll wait.”

And I did. For hours. Kellen ran through his entire workout but I didn’t say a word. I sat in that chair or wandered around the gym, but I stayed close the entire time. He didn’t speak to me, he barely looked at me, but it didn’t matter. He was in his zone. In his place where the world turned blurry like the painting I’d done of him. Where it was all color and light without sound or thought. It was weightless. Instinctual and free.

When he was finished, when he was covered in sweat and breathing hard in the dark making my mind explode in thoughts that I should never be thinking of him, we left. I gave him his shirt back as we walked outside, my feet still wrapped in red, then we rode away into the dark. He took me the long way home. We went slowly and I knew he was feeling better. More relaxed. His burning hot, sweat soaked body was softer beneath my hands. More pliable. He felt less like a statue and more like a man and when he stopped at lights for the red, took his hand off the handlebars and pressed it to mine against his stomach just as he had in the driveway, I went soft inside as well. Hot and melted. Burning slow. And that man did it every single time, at every single light. By the time we pulled up to my house, I was humming inside.

Before I was even off the back of the bike, dad was coming out the door. I worried that Kellen was in trouble for shouting at Laney or taking me with him when we both knew I wasn’t allowed so I met my dad halfway.

“I jumped on the bike and refused to get off,” I explained quickly. “It wasn’t his fault. I was worried he’d hurt himself driving away mad and I knew he’d be careful if I was with him so I went. I know I wasn’t supposed to but—“

“Jenna, it’s fine,” dad interrupted quietly. He put his hand reassuringly on my shoulder, shaking his head. “No one is mad. Not at you.”

“Dan, I’m sorry,” Kellen said, coming off his bike as well. “I should have left her behind. I never went over 40mph, I swear and she wore the helmet the whole time.”

“I know you were careful. We’re not angry at you either.”

“But you’re mad at someone,” I said slowly, reading his tight eyes.

He nodded. “We are. At least, I am. I’m angry at Laney for what she said.” Dad stepped past me toward Kellen. “Son, I’m sorry. It should be her here apologizing, not me, but when I told her she needed to make things right, she left.”

“It’s over between us,” Kellen said heavily. “There’s no making it right this time.”

“And that’s fine. Whether you two stay together or split up, I don’t care as long as you’re both happy. But what I do care about is how she handled it. She owes you an apology and you’ll get it. Just not tonight, apparently.”

“That’s fine. I’m not in the mood to hear it tonight.” Kellen ran his hand over his face, looking suddenly tired. “I owe Karen an apology. Laney as well. I shouldn’t have shouted like that and I definitely shouldn’t have used that kind of language in her house.”