Knowing You (The Jade Series #2) (28 page)

When I get to the waiting area, Garret is still sitting there patiently. And I realize that none of my fears about our future together even matter. Because at any moment, one of us could be like Frank, lying there in intensive care. I’m wasting all the moments I have with Garret worrying about something that might never happen. Maybe we’ll be together forever. Maybe we won’t. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is right now.
 

And right now, I love Garret more than I ever thought possible. And the fact that he’s here with me, supporting me, helping through this, makes me love him even more. I take the seat next to him and rest my head on his shoulder again.
 

A few minutes later, Ryan returns and motions us into the hall. “I saw the doctor just now and he said Dad’s doing better but he needs to rest. They don’t want visitors in his room until tomorrow. So you guys can leave. I’ll call you if anything changes.”

“Ryan, I don’t want you sitting here all alone.”

“Chloe’s coming soon, so go ahead. I’m sure you’re tired from the flight.”

“Okay. Then I guess we’ll see you in the morning.”

Ryan doesn’t ask where I’m staying, so I don’t tell him I’ve decided to stay with Garret. I’m still Ryan’s pretend little sister, and even though I’m 19 it’s weird telling him I’m staying with my boyfriend instead of at home in my room.

Garret and I go check in the hotel. Of course he booked the nicest one in Des Moines. The room is huge with one king-size bed.
 

Garret hasn’t said much since we left Frank’s house. Even in the hotel room, he quietly puts his clothes away, not saying anything.
 

“Hey.” I tug on his arm as he’s hanging a shirt in the closet. “Can we talk?”

We sit down on the bed. He doesn’t look at me and I don’t look at him. Instead I keep my eyes on my hair elastic, which I’m twisting repeatedly around my finger.

“I’m sorry, Garret. I shouldn’t have said all that stuff over at the house. I don’t know why I say stuff like that. I can’t figure out my own head sometimes.”
 

He doesn’t respond, so I sit there and continue to fidget with my hair elastic. After a while, I can’t take the awkward silence. “Why are you being so quiet?”

He finally looks at me. “Because right now, I’m really pissed off at you and I don’t want to say something I don’t mean.”

“Well, maybe if we talk about it you won’t be so mad.”
 

He hesitates, then finally speaks. “Today you acted like I was going to break up with you the second I saw your house and where you grew up. Like you think that would somehow matter. Like I’m just one of those rich-kid stereotypes you have stuck in your head, even though I’ve tried to prove to you a million times that I’m not like that.”

“I know you’re not. And I know you don’t think it matters where we came from, but sometimes I can’t get past it. Like today, when we were at the house it just reminded me that I don’t fit in your world. All I could think about was how this will never work. It doesn’t make sense.”

“Dammit, Jade!” He stands up. “It doesn’t have to make sense! Nothing makes sense! Life doesn’t make sense! You’re just trying to find excuses for why this won’t work. It’s almost like you don’t want it to.”

“No, that’s not it.” I pull on him until he sits down again. “Listen. I never should’ve said that stuff about us, okay? You’re right. I don’t know where this is going. You and me. Maybe we actually will be together years from now. I just can’t seem to convince my brain that it’s possible. It keeps telling me it’s not because I don’t have the best track record when it comes to people sticking around. First my mom. Now Frank might leave me. And when I think I might lose you, too, I panic and say things I shouldn’t.”

“You’re not going to lose me, Jade.” His voice is softer now but he still sounds mad. “And you know, it’s not like this doesn’t work both ways. Losing you would suck big time for me, too. That’s why I hate it when you keep saying we don’t have a future together.”

“But I want a future with you. I just say the exact opposite of what I want. I don’t know why I do it. I just do.”
 

“Then maybe you could work on that. Because I can’t read your mind and I don’t know what to believe sometimes. Half the time I think you’re trying to get rid of me and the other half you act like you want me around.”

“I’m telling you right now that I always want you around. Ignore the other half of the time. Don’t even listen to me. I won’t even talk about the future anymore.”
 

He tilts my chin up with his hand. “You can talk about the future. Just not one in which we’re not together.”

“Okay, I’ll work on it.”

“That’s not good enough. I’m making this a rule from here on out. No more talking about us breaking up. Got it?”

“Yeah. I got it.” I cautiously smile at him. “So are you done being mad at me?”

“I can’t stay mad at you.” He puts his hand around mine. “You’re like Lilly. You’re too freaking adorable.”

I lean over and kiss him. “I love you.”

“I know you do.” Cue the cocky smile.
 

“Aren’t you going to say it back?”

He shrugs. “Maybe later. We should probably eat. Are you hungry?”

“I guess I am. I don’t feel hungry but my stomach’s growling.”

“What do you like around here? Tell me your favorite Des Moines restaurant.”

“I didn’t really eat out much growing up. We didn’t have the money for it. But there’s a good Thai place not far from here.”

“Is that where you want to go?”
 

“Yeah.” I go over and grab my wallet, checking to see how much money is in it. “I’ll pay for dinner. You already paid for too much with the plane tickets and hotel and car.”

“You’re not paying for dinner.” He takes my wallet, holding it up in the air.
 

“Yes, I am,” I say, reaching up to get it back.

“If you pay for dinner you’ll be low on money and then you’ll have to ask Ryan for more. And I know you hate asking him for money.”

I sigh, slumping down on the bed. “I really need to find a job.”

“Come here.” He pulls me up and into his arms. “It was very nice of you to offer to buy me dinner.” He leans in closer. “And by the way, I love you, too.”
 

On the way to the restaurant I call Ryan. He says Frank is sleeping and still can’t have visitors. Then Ryan says he’s going home for a few hours to sleep and I have to confess that I’m not staying there. He doesn’t act surprised.
 

The next morning, we’re back at the hospital at 9, when visiting hours begin. Ryan meets us there.
 

“Did you get a few hours of sleep?” I ask him, even though he still looks exhausted.

“Five hours, which was more than I thought I’d get.” He turns his phone off, reminding Garret and me to do the same. It’s hospital policy. “The doctor is in there with Dad now. I need to go hear what he has to say.”

“Okay. We’ll wait here.”

A half hour later, Ryan comes back to the waiting area and we all go out into the hall.
 

“The doctor said Dad had a good night,” Ryan says to me. “The swelling in his brain is way down. That’s good news. Really good.”

“Is he awake now?”

“Yeah. I just talked to him. But they gave him something that makes him tired, so you should go in and see him before he falls asleep. I need to call and check on something with the insurance. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
 

I go into the ICU, taking Garret with me. Frank looks the same as yesterday, although his eyes are open more.
 

“Hi, Frank. It’s me again.” I’ve decided to be less of a downer today. Frank is surrounded by enough depressing stuff in that place. I don’t need to add to it.
 

“Hi, Jade. You finally made it home. How’s college?”
 

It’s like he forgot I was here yesterday. Ryan warned me that Frank might have some memory problems and confusion from his injury. I go along with it and pretend I just got here.

“College is good. And I brought Garret back with me. My boyfriend.”

“Yes, I know. I met him yesterday.”
 

Now
I’m
the one confused. He remembers meeting Garret yesterday? But he doesn’t remember seeing
me
? I ignore it. Between the brain injury and his meds, I’m sure he’s not all there.

“Did you have a nice Thanksgiving?” Frank asks.

“Yes, it was great.” I already told him all about Thanksgiving weeks ago over the phone.

“It’s too bad your mother is gone. She used to love Thanksgiving. Well, all holidays, really, especially Christmas.”
 

He’s definitely not all there. My mom did not love Thanksgiving or any holidays, at least not when I knew her.

Frank’s eyes are getting heavy. “You could spend Christmas with your father.”

I glance at Garret, unsure how to react to Frank’s confused gibberish.
 

“I saw him on the news,” Frank continues. “He’s here, you know.”

My stomach drops when he says it. I know Frank’s completely out of it, but why would he say something like that?
 

“I should probably let you rest.” I turn to leave but Frank keeps talking.

“Your mother always said you didn’t look like him. But every time I see that bastard on TV, I think you have his smile.”

A chill runs down my spine. I don’t know why he’s saying this stuff to me, but it’s freaking me out.
 

I go back over to his bed. “Okay, Frank. Well, we’re going to leave and let you get some sleep.”

“I left a box in your room, Jade. Photos of your mother.” His eyelids close, then slowly open again. “There’s an article that shows your father at that speech before it happened. Can’t believe he got away with it. And now he’s in the running.”

“In the running for what?”

“He’s running for president. Your father. Royce Sinclair.”

24

I back away from Frank’s bed, a chill now radiating throughout my entire body. I know it’s not true. Frank is clearly confused. But why would that thought even enter his head?

Garret grabs my hand and gives me a look to get out of there. Frank’s eyes are now completely closed and he seems to be sleeping.

Ryan comes back just as we’re leaving. He follows us into the hall.
 

“What did your dad say to you earlier?” I ask him. “Anything odd?”

“No. We talked about what his doctor said, then went over some insurance stuff.”

“So it didn’t seem like the meds were making him loopy or anything?”

He shakes his head. “He was tired but not like drugged out or anything. Why are you asking? Did something happen when you were in there?”

“Um, no. I mean, at first he acted like I’d just got here. Like I wasn’t here yesterday, so he seemed a little confused.”

“He was really out of it yesterday. He probably didn’t remember.”

“Yeah. That’s probably it.”

“He’ll be asleep for a while, so I’m going to get some hours in at the lab. You guys can go do something. You don’t need to sit here all day. I’ll keep you updated.”

“Okay.” I give Ryan a hug. I don’t dare tell him what his dad said. It’s too strange. Plus, Ryan doesn’t know about the letter my mom wrote me, which means he knows nothing about the rape or the man who did it.
 

Garret and I go back to the car. We don’t talk on the drive to the hotel. I’m sure Garret wants to say something, but he can tell by my nervous leg tapping that now is not a good time.
 

When we’re back in the room, I’m finally able to talk. “What the hell was that? Royce Sinclair is my father? Why would Frank say something like that? I know he’s out of it, but still, how would he come up with something like that?”

“Exactly what I was thinking.” Garret’s pacing the floor, something I’ve never seen him do before. “I know he’s on meds, but like you said, where did he come up with a story like that?”

“Maybe he was watching TV and got confused. Sinclair is on the news all the time and Frank watches a lot of news.” I turn on the TV and start flipping through the channels. I stop at a news channel.

“Turn it up,” Garret says, pointing at the TV. “They just showed Sinclair.”

I up the volume on the TV. Two old guys are discussing each candidate. “Sinclair has now surpassed Myerson in the polls and if that continues, he could be one of the top two contenders on caucus day.” They cut to a clip of Sinclair at an event, shaking hands and smiling. I get closer to the screen.
 

“Garret, look at his face.”

The video ends and they put up a headshot of Sinclair as the news guys continue to talk. His smile almost does look like mine. Garret stares at me. I know he’s thinking the same thing. I smile just to show him.

“Holy shit,” he says, checking out Sinclair’s headshot again.
 

“He looks like me, doesn’t he? We have the same smile!”