Korean for Dummies (45 page)

Sitting or Eating Before

the Seniors in the Group

In Korean culture, the senior is the leader of the group. He initiates handshakes, decides what to do, and agrees to suggestions. The people who are his juniors — be they juniors through age or through hierarchy on the job — play a more passive role and follow his lead. From the dinner table to the meeting room, the senior dictates when the meal or meeting begins.

Don’t sit down or eat before the senior of the group. Although this rule isn’t always observed in more informal settings (such as family dinners), it’s a good idea to observe the hierarchy at meals and meetings. If you’re unsure, watch what the people around you are doing so you can play it by ear. To put it another way, it might be a good idea to keep in mind the social relationship or distance you have to others.

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Calling Your Boss or Teachers

by Their First Names

A Korean name is usually three syllables long. Take, for example, Kim Jong-Il.

The first syllable is the family name, and the remaining two are the first name. A few other examples are
Kong Sung-Joo
(
gong-sung-joo
) and
Choe
Won-Nyeong
(
choe-won-young
). The last names in these examples, respectively, are
Kong
and
Choe.

Calling someone by their last name alone isn’t as polite as calling them by their full name. And by no means should you ever call your boss, your

teacher, your parents, or anyone else who you consider your senior by their first names. Koreans think this is simply rude and can be compared to calling your judge by her first name during a court session.

Saying “Ssi” After Your Own Name

Koreans use the words
ssi
(sshi) and
nim
(nim) when they address people to show respect toward the people they’re speaking with or about (see Chapter 3). It’s a lot like saying Mr. or Mrs. But even if you hear a lot of people use these words when addressing you, don’t use them when speaking about yourself. And similarly, don’t use the honorifics, such as
kkeseo
(
kkae-suh;
No English translation
;
added after the person’s name when you want to show respect towards the person you are speaking about) and
ssi
(
sshi;
Mr. or Mrs./Ms.) when speaking about yourself, unless you’re trying to be sarcastic.

kkeseo
and
ssi
can be used for both males and females. However,
ssi
is used more frequently.
kkeseo
is usually used when the person in question is doing something or has said something. For example:
seonsaengnimkkeseo oneul
jibe oseyo
(
suhn-saeng-nimkkae-suh o-neul jee-bae o-sae-yo;
The teacher is coming to the house today).

Walking into a House with Your Shoes on

In the United States, you learn that you shouldn’t slurp your food while you eat. However, you never really learn why. I could just tell you that walking into a house with your shoes on is rude, but instead I try to provide you with a bit of background as to why this is the case.

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In Korea, the rooms of the house relied on a floor heating system called
ondol
(
on-dol;
warm stone), which involved heating a huge stone, or stones, underneath the room. The
ondol
is one of the main reasons why Koreans slept on the floor
;
sleeping on mattresses spread out on the floor allowed for the most efficient heat transfer. For the same reason, Koreans sit on cushions on the floor as opposed to sitting on chairs.

Koreans don’t wear shoes in the house because floors used to serve as the surface upon which they slept and sat. Even though most Koreans nowadays live in westernized homes, the majority of Korean houses still rely on floor heating systems, just like
ondol
, although they do not use stone anymore.

Nowdays, Koreans use copper wires for the floors, heating systems. Although many Koreans have started adopting westernized furniture, such as sofas and even beds, the custom of taking off your shoes when you enter a house still survives. Observe this custom because — if you don’t, it’ll bother your host about as much as it would if someone wore muddy shoes and walked around on your bed.

Sometimes, though, people just might allow you to wear shoes in the house, and, if that’s the case, they let you know by saying,
sinbal an beoseodo
doeyo
(
shinbal an buh-suh-do dwae-yo;
You don’t have to take your shoes off),
sinbal sineodo doeyo
(shinbal shin-uh-do dwae-yo: You can wear your shoes), or
sinbal sineodo gwaenchanayo
(
shinbal shin-uh-do gwaenchan-a-yo
;
It’s okay to wear your shoes).

Crossing Your Legs When You Sit

Koreans are used to sitting
chaeksangdari
(
chaeksang-da-ree;
sitting Indian style) on the floor. Even in modern society, when people sit on floors, they still sit this way. As uncomfortable as sitting
chaeksangdari
may seem, it’s significantly more comfortable than kneeling. In a traditional formal gathering, the
chaeksangdari
was reserved for the seniors or elders of the group, and the juniors knelt on the floor until the elders suggested
pyeonhage
anjayo
(
pyun-ha-gae an-ja-yo;
Please sit comfortably).

In contemporary society, most daily events take place in chairs, but the tradition of the juniors sitting in restricted positions remains. As a result, Koreans, especially in formal meetings, don’t cross their legs while sitting in chairs.

Instead, they keep their legs placed neatly, or side by side, in front of them.

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Kissing in Public

Koreans aren’t accustomed to public displays of affection. They bow to you, shake your hand, and — if they know you well enough — maybe even hug

you. But don’t expect to see anything beyond that in public, even if two people are happily engaged or married. Private displays of affection are fine, but public displays of affection aren’t.

I’m not sure that there’s one particular reason for this custom, but it may have come about because Korea was heavily influenced by Confucian ideals, which enforce segregation of males and females. And it may also be because of the strict codes of conduct enforced by Korean dictators in the 1970s.

Those strict codes prohibited any “indecent activity.” Regardless, you shouldn’t publicly display affection. In fact, make sure you don’t, lest you give granny a heart attack.

Taking the First “No, Thank You”

Literally

One custom that’s common for people from Asian cultures is to turn down a meal, drink, gift, or favor — even if the person is hungry, thirsty, in need of a ride home, or really wants that tea set you’re offering. Korea is no exception to this custom. Don’t worry — just because someone turns you down with a
gwaenchanayo
(
gwaenchan-a-yo;
It’s alright), it doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t want what you have to offer.

There’s a small cultural game going on here. The guest or gift receiver doesn’t want to appear greedy, and the host or gift giver wants to seem generous. So be sure to make an offer more than once. And don’t forget that you, too, should turn down an offer a few times before accepting.

Picking Up Your Rice Bowl and

Using Your Spoon to Eat

A common custom of people from Asian cultures is to hold onto their rice bowls while they eat. In China and Japan, rice bowls are even rounded at the bottom to make holding them up easier. But in Korea, the bottoms of rice 25_037188-ch18.qxp 6/24/08 11:16 PM Page 288

bowls are flat. They’re meant to stay on the table during meals. Lifting a bowl up to polish off a little remaining soup or rice is all right, but otherwise keep your bowls on the table.

Another peculiarity of Korean culture is that Koreans eat their rice with a spoon rather than chopsticks. Although it isn’t a hard and fast rule, you should usually use your chopsticks to pick up pieces of side dishes and use your spoon to eat your rice and communal soups.

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In This Chapter

Impressing Koreans with your language abilities

Getting a handle on common terms from Korean speakers

Some Korean expressions are used more often then others, and here I

present you with ten expressions that Koreans use all the time. By knowing them, not only can you talk like a native Korean, but you can also respond when someone uses them on you! Try listening for them in daily conversation, and don’t forget to try using them yourself.

ppalli

ppalli
(
ppal-li
) means
hurry or fast
. Common uses include
ppalli waseo meogeoyo
(
ppal-li wa-suh muh-guh-yo;
Hurry on over and eat),
ppalli gayo
(
ppal-li
ga-yo;
Let’s hurry up and go),
ppalli jom haeyo
(
ppal-li jom hae-yo;
Hurry up and do it), and
ppalli jom bikyeojuseyo
(
ppal-li jom bee-kyuh joo-sae-yo;
Hurry up and get out of the way). Koreans have a penchant for speed, so it’s no surprise that the word
ppalli
is a part of everyday conversation.

gwaenchanayo

The term
gwaenchanayo
(
gwenchan-a-yo
) is almost identical to the English
okay
. When you say
gwenchanayo
, it means “It’s okay.” When you raise the end of
gwenchanayo
, it becomes a question, so it means “Is it ok?” instead.

You can use it to ask how someone feels or thinks about something, and to decline favors and state opinions.

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jeongmal, jinjja, cham

jeongmal
(
jungmal
),
jinjja
(
jin-jja
), and
cham
(
cham
): All three mean
really
, but
cham
is very close to the English
sure.
You can use
jeongmal
and
jinjja
as sentences by themselves:
jeongmal.
(
jungmal;
Really.)

jeongmal?
(
jungmal?;
Really?)

jinjja.
(
jin-jja;
Really.)

jinjja?
(
jin-jja?;
Really?)

Or use them as adjectives, the way I do in this example:
jinjja, jeo anieyo.

jinjja.
(
jin-jja juh a-ni-ae-yo. in-jja;
Really, it’s not me. Really.) Here are some examples of how these terms are used in conversation:

jinjja gyosunimkkeseo sukjega eopdago hasyeoseoyo!
(
jin-jja gyo-soo-nim-kke-suh sook-jae-ga uhp-da-go ha-syeo-ssuh-yo;
Really, the professor said there was no homework!)

jeongmal oneuldo yageunieyo?
(
jeongmal o-neul-do ya-geun-ee-ae-yo;
Really, do I have to work a night shift again?)

oneul nalssiga cham deopneyo.
(
o-neul nal-ssi-ga cham deop-nae-yo;
My, the weather is really/surely hot today.)

jeo chimaga cham ippeoyo.
(
juh chi-ma-ga cham ee-ppuh-yo;
That skirt sure is pretty.)

a, geuraeyo

a, geuraeyo?
(
a, geu-rae-yo;
Ah, is that right?/Ah really?)
geuraeyo.
(
geu-rae-yo;
That’s right/exactly.)

In Korean, you rarely use this expression to question anything the other person is saying. Instead, use it to show that you’re following what the other person is saying. Often, people nod their head, and even make semi-surprised faces as they listen.

geuraeyo
shows agreement with the speaker and indicates that the listener is paying attention. The technical term for this phenomenon is “backchannelling.”

To get a feel for this phrase, imagine one friend saying
jinjja gyosunimkkeseo
sukjega eopdago hasyeoseo!
(
jin-jja gyo-soo-nim-kke-suh sook-jae-ga uhp-da-go
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ha-syuh-syuh-yo;
Really, the professor said there was no homework!) and another friend saying
a geuraeyo?
(
a-geu-rae-yo;
Ah, is that right?).

jamkkanmanyo

jamkkanmanyo
(
jamkkan-man-nyo
) means
one moment please.

Another word for
jamkkanmannyo
is
jamsimanyo
(
jam-shi-man-yo
). From the two,
jamsimanyo
is used in more formal occasions. For example,
jamsiman
gidaryeo juseyo
(
jam-shi-man gee-ra-ryuh joo-sae-yo;
Please wait one moment.).

However, if a colleague says
a ppalli jom haseyo
(
a ppal-li jom ha-sae-yo;
Hurry up, will you?), then you can say
a jamkkanmannyo, jamkkanmanyo
(
a jamkkan-man-yo, jamkkan-man-yo;
Hey, one moment, one moment).

mwo haeyo

When you say
mwo haeyo
(
mwo hae-yo
) you’re asking,
what are you doing?

or
what’s up?
You can expect a friend or colleague to ask you this question when you pass by. You can also use
mwo haseyo
(
mwo ha-sae-yo;
What are you doing?).
mwo haseyo
is little more formal than
mwo haeyo
.

mollayo

Use the word
mollayo
(
mol-la-yo
) to say
I don’t know.