Authors: Sarah Bailey
He shook his head. “I should have figured it out sooner. Prevented her from
suffering. Watching her go through rehab was agonizing. I felt so fucking
helpless.”
I bit my lip, and locked eyes with him. “You helped her, Julian, as much as you
could. But at the end of the day, people need to fight their own battles.”
Julian shrugged noncommittally. “There are some battles people should never
have to face alone,” he said.
When the limo arrived in front of our condo building, Lisa was still passed
out. Julian lifted her up and carried her into the apartment. “Put her in my
bed,” I said. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”
Julian nodded. “You lead the way,” he said. He placed her gingerly on my bed,
and I took off her glasses, her shoes, and tucked her in.
“You’re going to talk to her about this tomorrow?” he asked.
“Definitely,” I said. He stroked my cheek again, and leaned in for a kiss. His
lips were hot and tender, and he kissed me earnestly. “I wish you could stay,”
I said, wrapping my arms around his neck. He groaned slightly, and I felt his
cock get semi-hard against me.
“Don’t tempt me,” he said. “I’m insatiable around you.” He kissed me again, hard
this time, then pulled away. “I’ll see you soon, baby,” he said. The way he
said ‘baby’, his voice husky and possessive, sent a little thrill up my spine.
“See you soon, handsome,” I said, walking him to the door. He flashed me a
darkly sexy smile, then leaned down and nipped at my lower lip with his teeth.
“I can’t wait to handcuff you again,” he said, running a finger through my
hair. “You’re so beautiful. And you’re mine. All mine.” His words sent another
shiver through me.
“And you’re mine,” I said softly. He gave me a wide smile, clearly pleased by
my reaction.
“Sweet dreams,” he said then turned and walked out the door. I stood staring
after him until he disappeared around the corner. I was his. His girlfriend.
He’d claimed me, possessed me. Given me more pleasure in bed than any man
before him. He understood me. Understood what I needed. The memory of being
chained to his bed, writhing in ecstasy beneath him, flashed through my head,
sending a bolt of heat up from between my legs. I sighed deeply, and went to
get ready for bed, knowing I’d be dreaming of Julian all night, and wake up in
the morning feeling hungry for his touch.
“Morning sleepy head,” I said, walking into my bedroom and pulling up the
blinds.
Lisa groaned and squinted against the light flooding the room. “What the fuck?”
she said. “I’m on vacation. I should be allowed to sleep in.”
“You did sleep in,” I said. “It’s one in the afternoon. Your flight leaves at
ten. If we’re going to do anything today, you need to get your ass out of bed.
Like, now.”
Lisa covered her face with a pillow and groaned again. “My head hurts like
hell,” she said.
“You know what they say, ‘Coke before liquor, never sicker.’”
She picked up her pillow and tossed it at me. “Bitch, please. It’s ‘Beer before
liquor, never sicker,’ and for your information, I was drinking champagne.”
“Wow,” I said, “Coke and champagne. You’re all class.”
Lisa shot me a dirty look, then crawled out of bed. “Where are my glasses?” she
asked.
“On my bedside table.”
She grabbed them, and put them on her face. Then she got up and walked over to
my full length mirror. “Holy hell. I look like total crap,” she said. “My face looks
like a four year old drew on it with crayon.”
Her eyes became more alert, and she pulled her hair back, revealing a giant
hickey on her neck. The moment she saw it, she froze. “Oh. My. God.” she said,
swiveling toward me. “What the hell happened last night?”
I let out a long sigh, and crossed my arms over my chest. “I caught you sucking
face with a guy dressed like a pimp. Orange velour and prescription sunglasses.
Ring a bell?”
Lisa’s face became pale, and she looked like she was going to be sick. “Shit,
Ser,” she said, coming back to the bed and slumping down onto it. “This is so
not good.”
I walked over to the bed, and sat down beside her, putting my arm around her
shoulders. “Do you remember anything from last night?” I asked.
She shook her head. “There was the limo ride, the champagne, and then I was
dancing. That’s all I remember.” She covered her face with her hands. “I can’t
believe this,” she said, rubbing her temples. “I totally cheated on Mark. I
can’t believe this.” She turned to me and gave me a pleading look. “You know
me, Ser. You know this isn’t me. I don’t cheat. Ever.” Lisa stood up and
started pacing around the room. “What am I going to do?”
I bit my lip, and gave her a worried look. “What’s going on with you?” I asked.
“You’re right. This isn’t you. Something’s up. You were totally out of control
last night. I’ve never seen you like this.”
Lisa fisted her hair in her hands. “Fuck, I don’t know,” she said. “I was
trying to take the edge off, I guess.” She slumped back down on the bed and
started rubbing the back of her neck. “I’m just so stressed about work. And I’m
wired all the time.” She let out a long sigh, and turned to me, her eyes full
of fear and alarm. “Every day I come home from work now, I drink. It’s like I
have to. If I don’t I go stir crazy and stay up all night. I can’t fall asleep
without it.”
I nodded slowly and reached for her hand. “I thought so,” I said. “I mean, I
knew you were in trouble.” I paused for a second, debating whether to go on. I
decided I needed to tell her about my conversation with Julian. “I talked to
Julian. He says he knows some people in New York who could help.”
Lisa shot me a look of betrayal. “You talked to Julian about this?” she said
accusingly. She stared at me hard for a long moment, then sprung to her feet.
“I can’t believe it, Ser. This is my private business. How could you expose me
to a practical stranger like that?”
I stared at her in disbelief. “Are you kidding me with this?” I asked. “Your
private business became very public last night. You were acting reckless as
hell. Plus you friggin’passed out in the limo, and Julian had to carry you up
to the apartment. That fact that there was something seriously wrong with you
was fully on display. And Julian was concerned enough about you to offer some
help.”
“I don’t need any help!” she yelled, glaring at me.
I sprung to my feet so that we were closer to eye level. “Yes you do,” I said
firmly. “And I’m not taking no for an answer. You have a chemical dependency,
Lise. And you
will
go to a rehab facility. Are we clear?”
She smirked at me, and crossed her arms. “Wow, have you ever become bossy. I
guess your boyfriend’s overbearing tendencies have worn off on you.”
I shrugged nonchalantly and smiled at her. “Maybe they have. And maybe that’s
not a bad thing. He just protects the people he loves. And I plan on doing the
same.”
Lisa’s expression softened, and then tears sprung to her eyes. I rushed over to
her and pulled her into a tight hug. She started sobbing uncontrollably. I held
her tight to me until all of her tears were cried out.
“Fine,” she finally said. “I’ll take the damn numbers. Make a couple of phone
calls when I get back to New York.”
I stared at her hard. “I’m going to come down to visit in a couple of weeks to
make sure you’re doing okay.”
She shook her head. “You don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine.”
I pinned her with another stern look. “I don’t
have
to. I
want
to. And I
will.
”
Lisa wiped away her tears, and her lips curled into a fragile smile. “Do you
have any eggs? And Advil? My stomach is churning, and my head feels like it’s
ready to explode.”
I rubbed her arm in sympathy, went to my bedside table, and grabbed a bottle of
Advil. “Here,” I said. “Now let’s go see about making some eggs.”
Lisa joined me in the kitchen as I started beating the yolk. “What do you want
to do today?” I asked.
She bit her lip, and gave me a weary look. “There’s this band I want to see,”
she said quietly. “They’re playing in Venice Beach.”
I could feel my face light up. “Awesome!” I said. “I trust your taste. What’s
the band’s name?”
She stared at me for a long moment, her expression pained. “The Maltese
Falcons,” she finally blurted out.
My stomach dropped, and my breath caught in my throat. I turned away from Lisa
and started furiously beating the eggs.
The Maltese Falcons
were an
up-and-coming band, and all of the members were great friends with my ex, Rob,
and his band
The Bare Essentials
. They were all part of a close knit
musical community, and always went to each other’s gigs.
I hastily pulled out a frying pan from the cupboard, and turned on the stove.
“You know Rob’s going to be there,” I said, frowning at Lisa.
She nodded, and took a step closer to me. “Don’t you think it’s time to face
him and get closure? I mean, you’ve moved on, right? He can’t hurt you
anymore.”
I could feel my lower lip start to tremble. Was I over him? I thought I was.
But I definitely wasn’t over the hurt and humiliation. These were the facts: I
loved him, and he cheated on me. He put me down, took advantage of my
generosity. I kept giving to him, even though I knew he was taking advantage of
me, even though I knew he didn’t love me the way I loved him. I knew he wanted
me. I knew he needed me.
But I also knew he never fully understood or acknowledged who I really was. And
I had been fine with that. I had been fine playing the same role my mother did
with my father. Giving Rob everything, without getting any recognition in
return. Sure, he was out of my life, but he was still affecting my
relationships. My fear about opening up to Julian, giving myself up to him
truly and completely, was the result of my relationship with Rob. I was still
carrying that baggage with me, even if I didn’t love him anymore.
But Lisa was right. I needed closure. If things with Julian were to stand a
chance at working, I had to get over my fears, and leave my past behind me. I
took a deep breath, and fixed my eyes on Lisa. “You’re right,” I said. “I need
closure. I can’t let him have power over me any longer.”
Lisa smiled at me brightly, then rushed over and pulled me into a huge hug.
“That’s my girl,” she said. “Show the fucker you’ve moved on, and how badly he
screwed up.” She pulled back, and locked eyes with me, her expression suddenly
serious. “You know he’ll never find anyone who even comes close to you, right?
You’re one in a million, Ser. I’m sure he knows that by now. But it’s too late.
He can fucking eat his heart out.”
I gave her a tight squeeze, then went back to making the eggs. “Where are they
playing?” I asked, then held up my hand. “No, wait, let me take a wild guess.
Their gig is at
The Bohemian
.”
Lisa grinned at me. “Of course it is.”
“What time are they playing?”
“Four o’clock.”
I looked at my watch, and sighed. “Okay. We’ll eat up, clean ourselves up, and
then head over.”
“Perfect,” Lisa said.
I shot her a look of feigned irritation and said, “Now can you make yourself
useful and brew some coffee? You know how badly I need my–”
“Caffeine fix. Yeah, I know. You don’t need to remind me,” she said, rolling
her eyes. “I’ll get right on it.”