Labeled Love (14 page)

“What happened to telling your best friend everything?” I say.

“Haven’t you ever heard the saying about every woman has things she hides in her closet?”

“Um… no,” I tell her.

“Well, I’m probably saying it wrong. It’s something like that. Anyway, don’t you remember the old lady at the beginning of
Titanic
saying that?”

“No.”

“How do you not remember that, Shay? That’s such an important part of the movie. It’s pretty much her confession of love for Jack. Man, I’m so disappointed in you. We’re going to have to watch that again. I need to know you felt that moment. You are totally slacking. Look up the damn saying, Shay. It’s going to drive me nuts now.”

“I’m not looking it up. Besides, we’re not women. We’re teenage girls, and we’re supposed to vomit every secret from our traitor-filled mouths. That’s what gossip is for.”

Jules looks at me while she puts one of my pillows over her face, muffling her voice. “No-can-do… This one is going in the closet of untold secrets.”

“You’re just mean, Jules.”

“Maybe. But I’ll never tell.” She starts laughing. “You remember when we watched that old, horror movie with the pretty girl with the huge brown eyes all scary in the jail cell?” she asks.

I take the pillow from her face and say, “You’d be freakin’ scary looking, too, if you were in jail. I can’t imagine you in a jail cell,” I say jokingly.

“Yeah, right. I would die just from what the inmates have to wear. Could you imagine wearing the same outfit every day? That would suck.”

“I think it would suck more to actually be in jail, Jules.”

“Well, yeah, of course. I’m just joking, you dork.”

AFTER JULES LEAVES,
I get ready for bed. While thinking about saying good-bye to Jace every week and how hard it is to walk away from him, I walk inside my closet and get out the first Valentine’s card he gave me. It’s so cute. I still have the letter he wrote me sitting inside it. I love looking at it.

“
I just want you to know how I feel.”

I run my fingers over that line. One thing about Jace is he always shows me how he feels about me.

I HAVE A
long week ahead with cheerleading. We practice every day during football season, and I constantly pray my Wednesdays remain free. I’m not holding my breath, though.

High school activities and my siblings getting older have made things difficult. Mom has been hinting that she will have to stop volunteering. I lie on my bed staring at the ceiling. Slowly, without any thought except the longing to talk to Jace, I begin to hum the melody that brings me peace. Our song.

I’ll give you all I‘ve got… You are my moon and stars… You hold the key

You will always be enough… You hold the key… to… this… heart

I really should record the song when I finish it. Continuing to hum, I look down at my cell phone and scroll through all my contacts, searching for the one name I long for, but never see. It seems so unfair that we have to always have a silent separation, when others get to connect whenever they want. You know the saying “God will never give you more than you can handle”? Obviously, God thought Jace and I were strong enough to withstand separation. Waiting every week to see him is torture. He knows what I’m doing, and that’s because I tell him my whole weekly calendar, but I don’t know what he’s doing. This isn’t about trust, though. I trust Jace with my whole heart. This is about not knowing if he’s all right. Remnants of a black eye he didn’t want to tell me about, as well as never wanting to talk about school or his home life, make me worry. I just wish I knew if he needed help. Here I am living in luxury, and he’s definitely not. I’m not a judgmental person. I wasn’t raised to be. I just feel guilty that I’m here, and he’s there.

I try to focus on the positive, so I think about his lips. We went from no kissing to I-think-our-tongues-got-married-this-week. I’m pretty sure saying “I love you” between kisses sealed the deal.

Did I mention Wednesday is my favorite day of the week? Well, it is, even if it’s slowly coming to an end. I hate spending so much time apart. I miss him when we’re not together, and my schedule is proving to get in the way.

“WHEN ARE YOU
going to sing your song for me?” Jace asks, pulling on my hair. He twirls it around his fingers while we sit under our tree.

“Well, if you could hang out at my house sometime, you would have heard me singing it.”

His face saddens. Those pale blue eyes look sincere as he stares into mine. “I’m sorry, baby.”

“What are you sorry for?”

“That I don’t have my own car to come see you.”

“I didn’t mean it like that, Jace,” I say. His hand goes straight to his hair, tugging on it slightly.

“I know, pretty girl. I wish…” He looks down, rubbing my hand lightly with his fingers. “You have pretty hands, baby.”

My lips are tight, but I smile. I feel bad, like I hurt his feelings. “Jace? You know I don’t care if you have a car or not. I just get frustrated because I miss you so much when we can’t talk.”

“Trust me, Shay. I have a hard time breathing properly when I’m away from you. Everything feels off when we’re apart.” His smile matches mine. Forced, but it’s there, because no matter what our circumstances, we just want to be together.

I pick up my guitar, trying to change the mood. “So, yeah, about that song? It’s
our
song.” He chuckles. My sassy tone has lightened the mood. I start strumming, teasing him with tiny glimpses of the chorus. When I look up, his face gets serious, and he just stares at me.

“Is this… Are you really playing our song right now?” he asks, his voice full of emotion. I nod and keep going.

“You will always be enough… You hold the key… to… this… heart”

His eyes never leave my mouth, as the chorus makes its way to his ears for the first time. I just look straight into his eyes as I sing from my heart. The way he’s looking at me tells me he loves what he hears. His feelings are always in the way he looks at me.

“You sound pretty when you hum ‘our song’. Those words… I need to kiss you, baby.” I lean in, and he gives me a wet, sloppy kiss on my cheek. He’s so adorable that I don’t even wipe all his slobber off my face. He reaches up and wipes it for me. I stop singing to tell him, “You’re lucky I like you. That was gross.”

“Like? I thought you loved me, baby.” I keep quiet. “Yeah, you definitely love me. Those are some sweet words, pretty girl. You
really
love me.” I roll my eyes. “Come on. Sing the rest of the song.”

I let out a low sigh. Jace has on athletic shorts and a T-shirt with some random saying on it, but I can’t focus long enough to read what it says. I can really only concentrate on how it fits him: snug and stretching perfectly over his body. My boy is tough and sexy, making it pretty hard to deny him.

“I’m not ready to share the entire song yet,” I tell him.

He groans. “Baby, you’ve been writing it for like four years.”

“Okay, fine.” I huff. “You want to hear it?” I give him my sassy tone.

He looks at me, smiles, and kisses my nose. “No, I want to hear it when you’re ready,” he jokes.

“You’re such a tease.”

He reaches up with his hand and puts it around my neck. Pulling me down to him, he kisses me slowly. I sigh into his mouth. God, this boy makes me swoon. His touch is always tender.

Jace can appear intimidating when people first see him, but not in a bad way. He is so striking that he looks like he should be a Calvin Klein model. He has that sexy bad boy look down.

Our kiss starts out slow, but once I open up to him, he pulls me against him. This is probably too hot and heavy for the center. “Jace.” I breathe against him.

“Yeah?” he says while continuing to torture me with his tongue.

“We better stop.”

“I don’t ever want to stop with you.” He pulls away, looking around.

“One day I’m going to have you all to myself. I’m so tired of sharing you,” he says quietly against my ear, giving me goose bumps.

Okay, that was super swoon-worthy. Changing the subject quickly as he plays with my hair, I say, “So, I have to go to my brother’s movie premiere this weekend. I’m really happy for him.”

“Is this for that book series you love?”

“Yes, I’m so excited to see those characters come to life.”

“Oh boy,” he says, pulling my hair, “that’s all I’m going to hear about. That swoony boy that is so dreamy. What the heck is ‘swoony’ anyway?”

“All you need to know is when you kiss me, it’s swoony.”

He reaches down, putting his face next to mine. “Yeah, you like my kisses, baby?” His lips graze my cheek.

“The way you touch me is swoony,” I say. He squeezes my thigh with a chuckle. “The way you talk to me is swoony.” Our eyes meet. “And the way you look at me is so… so swoony.” We stare into each other’s eyes. He pulls me onto his lap.

“So this guy is pretty much a fictional version of me.”

“Yup, exactly, but he’s a blond; I’m more into guys with black hair and pale blue eyes. And, he’s described as really preppy. I like my boys to be a little tough.” I wink.

“Aw, now I can sleep better knowing I’m more appealing than your fictional dream.” He chuckles against my neck.

“You’re the only boy I ever dream about,” I whisper into his ear quietly before getting up and brushing the grass from my jean shorts. Jace stands up and puts his hand in mine.

“I hate this part of our day,” he says sweetly. Groaning, he turns to me and picks me up in a bear hug. “You smell like coconuts.” He breathes me in, brushing his lips tenderly against my neck. “I don’t like saying good-bye.” He looks down at me. “Have fun at the premiere. Don’t check out all those actors.”

“They have nothing on my boy.” He looks sad. “Nobody could ever swoon me like you do,” I say, reassuring him. As we start to walk away, Jace smacks my butt. “Ouch!” I yelp. He gives me a sideways glance.

“You know that didn’t hurt, pretty girl,” he says. I give him my trademark smile he loves.

“What are you doing this weekend?” I ask him as he walks me to my mom’s car.

He briefly hesitates and says, “I don’t have anything going on.” He pulls his hair, which is a sure sign of frustration. I’ve noticed his mannerisms over the years. “You’re being secretive.”