Ladies Listen Up (14 page)

She took a minute to calm herself and her breathing back down. “I came out here for her funeral. I ended up staying with her mom for three weeks after that. It was like I was grieving my mom and Tiffany at the same time. We cried for two weeks straight, honestly, not a day went by. Her mother felt like I was the only one who could have possibly understood what she was going through. Then one day we stopped crying. We got in her car and drove to Indianapolis and packed all my belongings up. I told my aunt that I wanted out. I wanted a better life than I was going to get there taking care of her kids. Tiffany’s mom—her name is Olivia—told me about a salon that she went to and that I should try to get a job there. The rest is history.”

She then explained how Olivia helped her get an apartment. When Jacob asked why she didn’t move in with Olivia, she explained that they both agreed that they needed their own space, and since Elise was making even more money doing braids here than in Indy, she could afford it. She was even mastering the art of sewing
in weaves. It wouldn’t be long before she was making a grand per week.

This was where the problem with Anna had come in. She explained how a simple friendly conversation had led Anna to claim her as her best friend. “Mr. Marsh, I think something is wrong with the girl. She shows up at my house unannounced and she falls asleep on my couch and just expects it to be okay that she spends the night. I was trying to be nice at first, but she’s starting to get on my nerves. Anytime I even start to tell her about herself, she goes into a near rant. She claims that the whole world is against her.”

“So what kinds of things has she said that disturbed you?”

“You mean about you?”

“Well…yes.”

“She says that you hate her. At first she said you were like a father to her—no, she said a big brother. But after the rape, she must have disgusted you.”

“She told you about that?”

“Yeah. She said that the guy she gave a ride home forced his way on her. That’s how I found out that she was gay.”

“What?” Jacob’s eyebrows went up in the air.

“Yeah, she told me that she told your student teacher that she was gay. He was trying to make a move on her, but when she told him he went ballistic and forced himself on her.”

Jacob was floored. Anna
gay
. It didn’t make any sense, at least not to his theory of her being madly in love with him. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“Well, that’s what she told me. She said that before I got here, she lost all her friends because someone had let the cat out of the bag…about her liking girls. She goes on and on about how I was
sent here to help her and about how much she needs me. I think she’s a little bitter with you. She said after the situation with the guy…Dean…she said you changed and that you two aren’t really close anymore.”

We were never close,
Jacob thought as he shook his head.

“The thing that concerns me is that she thinks you had something to do with him raping her. Everything with her is a conspiracy.”

With that, Jacob’s heart sank. His worst fears were founded. He was definitely going down. “So…um…did she say that she was going to go to the school administrators about this?”

“Oh no. She said she wouldn’t ever want this to get out. She feels ashamed about the whole thing. She can’t wait for the school year to get out. She wants to go away to school on a scholarship and get far away from here as possible. She wants to go to school somewhere in Florida.”

“Bethune Cookman, I know she mentioned it.”

“Yep, that’s it.”

“So what else were you concerned about?”

“Well, it seems like she has sort of tried to move in. She said that she admires me so much. And I won’t lie: I enjoy her company at times, but I get tired. School and working thirty hours a week isn’t easy.”

“I can imagine.”

“The other night I came home from work. All I wanted to do was go to bed, especially since I had to get up at six in the morning and go right back to work. It was Friday night.” Jacob nodded, listening. “Well, here she comes knocking on the door. I don’t know why I just didn’t tell her I was tired…Instead, I took my clothes off, wet my
hair in the shower, and wrapped a towel around my body. I went to the door and opened it with the chain still on. She wanted to know why I had the chain on. I told her that I had company and that I’d talk to her the next day.”

“Okay.”

“I wish. This bitch…” she blurted out. Then she caught herself. “Excuse me for cursing, Mr. Marsh, but when I think about it I get upset.”

“It’s okay.”

“Mr. Marsh, her ass starts crying and eventually banging on my door. She knocks off and on for at least forty-five minutes. The next morning I head out the door for work and she’s in the parking lot, asleep in her car. She never even woke up.”

Jacob found the whole thing unsettling. Anna’s behavior was definitely unstable. “So what happened after that?”

“I didn’t see her until Monday at school and she acted like nothing ever happened.”

There was silence until Jacob stood and asked, “So what are you thinking? How does this all turn out?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I came to you. I don’t have anyone to speak to. I didn’t want to put her business out there. But I don’t really want to deal with her. I was wondering if you can get me transferred out of your class.”

Jacob swallowed hard. That was the last thing he wanted. “Yeah, sure.”

“Okay. I only told you this because I wanted to…just let you know that she had me a little nervous.”

“I appreciate it.”

“I’d better be going,” she said, standing now, facing Jacob. She
was staring into his eyes and he back into hers. He thought about all she’d been through in her young life. All the courage that she’d shown. Her independence was incredible. “I’d appreciate it if you don’t share this with anyone. Especially my living arrangements. I just want to graduate and then get my own salon as soon as I finish business school.”

“No problem,” he said as he closed his eyes for a second, imagining what it would be like to kiss her lips.

“Good night,” she said.

A minute later and he watched her pull her car out. He shut his garage and entered the house. He turned off the lights and headed upstairs for a shower.

After watching Elise
leave Jacob’s, she stood at his door fighting with herself. She wanted so badly to knock and to be let in. She was tired of watching. She was ready to give him her sweetness. In her mind, the idea was planted as firm as a hundred-year-old oak. There was no way he wouldn’t love it.

M
y column was a hit. It had gotten great response for the first month, with hundreds of letters coming in. For the February edition the response was even stronger as the bags of mail came in with over two thousand letters. We weren’t taking any e-mails or faxes.

“Gotta separate the pretenders from the people who really want your help. Anyone will bang out an e-mail and hit send, but someone who takes the time to write or type a letter and mail it in this day and age is serious,” Jonetta had said. She’d come up with the idea of calling me Dr. C., instead of using my real name, and I loved it. Reminded me a bit of Dr. Phil.

The magazine,
Girl Talk,
had gone through a total overhaul. A multimillion-dollar face-lift and advertising blitz had it placed everywhere you saw
Essence, Vibe,
and
Ebony
. The articles were given more of an edge. The topics were racier, more compelling; there was some exclusive celebrity gossip and interviews, and on top
of that, my column was being pushed as a real sounding board for women. I was billed as the next big thing. After the editors read the responses I’d given to a few of the letters, I was given two full pages. The key was that my advice was real, not watered down. I was given the green light to trash any letters that didn’t warrant real attention and instructed to give it to them raw.

It was so
easy for me to deliver such biting responses. It was everything I’d wanted to say to the women I’d dated for so long, but now I had a soapbox to stand on and a nationwide audience to listen.

“Wow, you certainly have some strong opinions on infidelity and those who commit it. Actually, it’s kind of refreshing to hear a brother say these things,” Lanelle said as she scanned over the column. “A little brash, though, you think?”

We were seated in the lobby of Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse in Bethesda. It was our fourth date. Two movies followed by dinner, a Wizards vs. Sixers game on Martin Luther King’s birthday, and now here we were doing the unthinkable, going out yet again with no
clear indication that we’d be getting our freak on. Getting to someone at a slow pace was a new thing for me. And don’t get me wrong; I had never been the type to hound a woman for sex. It wasn’t classy. Normally, I just played the game as it came to me. I usually took what sisters offered when they were ready. But most of the time they were ready really quick.

A little conversation and some time with a brother’s representative would do wonders. I’d show women whoever they were looking for and that was the definition of game as far as I was concerned. It wasn’t the man with the most money, or even the best-looking cat. It was the chameleon-like ability to transform to survive in whatever surroundings a brother was put in. Women were like snowflakes. Each one incredibly different, yet all pretty much shared the same properties. Big balls of emotion wrapped in pretty packages. Each one deliciously desirable in her own way.

I’d been the sensitive brother, the intellectual, the aggressive, the confident, and even the need-a-mother-type brother, when the situation called for that. If we men listened long enough, women always told or showed what they needed, and usually it wasn’t you. So the best thing, I’d found, was to get something out of the deal before they discovered who you were.

The waitress took our orders, and as soon as she walked away I realized that I needed to figure Lanelle out. I had only so long before I went into the land of no return. The “we went out but it never got serious” zone. I had to attack.

I stared across the table at her. She had on a red V-neck cashmere dress. It hugged her frame in such a lovely manner that I had wanted to reach across the table and ravish her. I was hoping she’d get up to go to the restroom so I could steal the view that her fur
coat had hidden from me on the way in. I wanted to see that walk in that dress. I doubted she wore any panties underneath, and no hose would hold that thing in place. Though she was always dressed to a T at work, her after-hours attire was so on point as to elicit excitement from me.

“So, Lanelle, I got to tell you that I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you and spending time with you.”

She smiled. “Well, I hope so. I’ve enjoyed spending time with you as well.”

I nodded and smiled. “I was wondering something.” She leaned back as if to say,
Spit it out, then, brother
. “I was wondering what you thought about us?”

“What about us?”

“I don’t know. I’ve just been really thinking lately about you. About us; taking things to another level.”

The waitress came back with our bread and water. Lanelle squeezed the lemon in hers, then mine, before she spoke. “What level might that be? Sexually, emotionally…what?”

“Daaaammn,” I said coolly. “I just meant more like seeing more of each other. You haven’t been to my place and I would love to see you more on a relaxed-type level. Where we both kick our shoes off, watch a DVD. Maybe I’d cook you a meal or something.”

She smiled and chuckled. “I guess that sounds all right.” Then she asked me, “So, Diego, let me ask you this…”

“Shoot.”

“Are you seeing anyone right now?”

Seeing?
That was a tricky question. Ask a man that and he knows what a sistah means, but she should be more specific. I had fucked a couple of women in the past couple of months. After the situation
with Erin had fallen apart, things had gotten a little lean. I’d gotten weak and invited Daphne, the hairstylist, over. She had finally gotten what she wanted, and I had to admit, she wasn’t that bad, but she was nothing that I would write home about.

Against my better judgment, which was an oxymoron, because I didn’t have much better judgment, especially when it came to getting my dick wet, I had hooked up with Maddy again. She’d been married all of two months before she called for a tune-up. Without the alcohol, she hadn’t been worth the trouble either.

I was beginning to think that it was the empty sex that was turning me off. I was starting to feel the void again. The big hole that Alicia had left in my heart when she left for good, was aching. I didn’t really see how I could be wrong in thinking that the answer wasn’t sitting right across the table from me.

“I’m not seeing anyone right now…” I knew that if I left it there, she’d have an opening to question me further, so I kept it moving. “…I do think that the time has come for me to change that.”

“Oh yeah. And you have someone in mind?”

“I guess that someone isn’t listening?”

“Oh, I’m listening, but let me let you in on a little something…” She folded her napkin and put it on her lap. As the waitress came back to our table, she said, “My bullshit sensor is very strong, sir.”

I didn’t know where this was coming from. “So what is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing at all. But be mindful…sometimes we’re not as slick as we
think
we are. People talk, and it might be good if you knew that your reputation precedes you,” she said, and then thanked the waitress.

I had a puzzled look.

“Diego,” she said. “I’m new at the school and I don’t plan on staying—meaning, I’m not there to make a bunch of friends. But people talk and you’ve been the topic of more than a few conversations—and deservedly so, I presume.”

“So what did you hear?”

She was silent for a second, and when it became apparent that I wasn’t going to move forward, she said, “Enough. I’ve heard enough.”

I left it there and we ate dinner. She kept the conversation flowing as I tried to imagine what the women in the school had said about me. There was plenty that they could have said with all the ammunition that I’d given them over the years. It was odd that I’d never once thought much about what I’d done in a negative light—screwing a parent here and there, a few colleagues, a couple of the student teachers, the school secretary, the computer-lab specialist, and even the daughter of one of the administrators. In fact, I’d worn those conquests as a badge of honor.

Now that I was face-to-face with a woman I deemed incredible, I wanted her to respect me. To look at me as a real man, a catch. Instead, I was imagining the things that were running through her mind. When the check came I realized that she wasn’t doing anything but enjoying my company. I wasn’t what she was looking for. Who was I kidding?

As I took the check and acknowledged to myself that it was the last time that I’d be treating her to dinner, I was hoping she’d offer to pay. I would have let her. “You need some help with that?” she asked.

Oh, the nerve of this bitch,
I thought.
Help
. “Nah, I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

“Of course.”
Some help. Pay this whole damned ninety-dollar check, but don’t
help
a nigga
, I thought.

As if things could get no worse, my eyes began to play tricks on me—at least I hoped they were. Upon closer inspection, I saw Gina, Kristen’s friend and my possible baby’s mama, walk into the same exact section that Lanelle and I were seated in. She was with an older woman, who could have been her mother. I took a deep breath and tried to fight off the instant headache that was on the way.

“You good?” I said, and got out of my seat and quickly stood behind Lanelle. This put my back to Gina as I offered to help Lanelle with her chair and jacket.

“Yes, I’m fine. You okay?”

“For sure.” When she stood up, I finally got a glimpse of her rear and it was magnificent in the dress. Having my way with it could have done wonders to bring me out of the funk I was slipping into.

As we walked away from the table I looked over at the gloves that I’d left there on purpose. When we passed Gina’s table, Lanelle’s eyes were on the door. I looked the other way purposely and made it out of the restaurant without Gina so much as looking in our direction. Though I’d all but given up on my chances with Lanelle after our dinner conversation, the last thing I wanted was to confirm any opinions of my being a dog in her eyes. Creating a scene right there wouldn’t have helped me at all. If nothing else, I’d leave her wondering
What if?

Once we were out front, I gave our parking ticket to the valet and then I patted my jacket pockets. “I think I left my gloves at the table…yeah…I must have.”

“You want me to run back and grab them while you wait on the car?” She was just too helpful.

“Nah, I’m good. Give me a second. Be right back.” I sped back into the restaurant and walked right up to Gina’s table. As I stood there my chest began pounding and my nerves went into overdrive.

Gina looked up and her eyes grew wide. “Diego.”

I looked down at her stomach and saw the bulge. “I’ve been trying to contact you. What’s up?”

“Oh, nothing. I’m just out for my mom’s birthday.”

She knew that wasn’t what I meant. “That’s nice. But can I have a quick word with you?”

She seemed really nervous and her mother picked up on it. “Darling, is this a friend of yours?”

“Hold up, Ma. Let me just talk to him for a minute,” Gina said, and stood up. I looked at her face. She was gaining weight and she had her hair in a short bob. I saw that she had bags under her eyes that I’d never noticed, but she was still attractive. Getting that glow that women get when they’re with child. She was definitely knocked up.

She stepped away from the table. “I’ve been past your crib and tried to find out where you working now. What’s up with this situation?”

“This really ain’t the time…”

“Well, I need some answers. You crashed a nigga’s wedding and ruined my life, in case you forgot.”

“Listen, it’s not like you didn’t have a part—”

“Hold up—”

“Hold up shit. Diego, you got nerve. I’m the one having a
damned baby by myself. As for your wedding, I guess you learned you shouldn’t shit where you sleep.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That means, you don’t need to be screwing over anyone who can put their hands on you. Kristen is a nut job and you found out the hard way.”

“Oh, so now she’s a nut job. But you thought she was perfect when you followed her into my wedding.” I shook my head in disgust.