Ladies Listen Up (12 page)

Jacob’s face showed concern. “What sort of things?”

“Too many to rush through, and I really don’t think this is the place. But listen, I work at a hair salon up in College Park. I get off tonight at around six or six-thirty. If you’re free you could meet me at the Starbucks. It’s in the same shopping center as the Home Depot.”

“I know where it is.”

“So how about seven?” Jacob didn’t respond. “Here, call me if you can’t make it. This is my cell.” Elise handed him a card. It had her name on it and said
All Things Braids by Elise
on it.

“So you do hair, huh?”

“A girl has got to pay the bills somehow.”

“Bills?”
Jacob said sarcastically. He was thinking that the young girl had no idea what bills were.

“So I’ll see you later.” Jacob was silent and she asked, “Are you okay, Mr. Marsh?”

“Yeah…” He cleared his throat and continued. “I’m fine.”

Her face showed a hint of suspicion. “Well, if I ain’t know any better, I’da thought you was high or something. You seem a bit off today,” she said, giggling, and headed for the door. When she reached it she turned back. “I’ll let you get back to what you were doing.”

Jacob’s eyes went down to the card. He placed it in his pocket and then he thought about some of the possibilities of Anna and Elise’s conversation. His stomach began to grumble and he put his hands over his face. Three minutes later, he was asleep, drooling out of the corner of his mouth onto his desk calendar.

T
he intercom buzzed. Mrs. Holiday, the school secretary, said, “Mr. Christian, can you take a phone call? It’s an emergency—your brother.” I was just finishing up my reading groups but hurried from the circle of children when I heard her.

“Kids, I’ll be right back,” I said in a rush. My brother seldom called my job, so to hear he had an emergency scared me. I immediately thought of my parents. They both lived alone, had been divorced for twenty years, and both suffered from high blood pressure.

I moved briskly up the hallway toward the teachers’ lounge. “Hey, what’s up?” I said, barely getting the phone to my mouth before I got the words out.

“Listen,” Lee said. I could tell he was panicked. “If Nicole calls you or comes to your job…”

“Why would she come to my—”

“Diego, be quiet. I need you to listen. If she comes to your job
before I get there, or calls you, I need you to tell her that I stayed at your place last night.”

I didn’t understand at all. “Lee, what’s going on?”

“I don’t have time to explain. But I need to come by to get your keys and I may need to crash at your place on the couch for a night or two.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“And another thing…” He paused. “Never mind. Just leave the keys in the office for me if you could. I’ll be at your place when you get there after school.”

“Okay.”

I was about to head out of the lounge when the intercom buzzer went off. Again it was Mrs. Holiday. “Mr. Christian? Are you in the lounge?”

I hit the call button. “Yes, I was headed back to my room right now.”

“Well, you have another call on eighty-five.”

“Okay.” I picked up the line and said, “Hello.”

“Well, sir, I can say that it hasn’t been easy tracking you down.”

I was ready for Nicole’s overbearing attitude. She had it twisted if she thought she was going to berate me the way she did my brother. “Listen, I’m in the middle of teaching and I have to get back to work. What do you need?”

“Excuse me. Do I have the right person? The man I met would surely have more manners than this.”

I didn’t recognize the voice. “Who is this?”

“This is Jonetta. Jonetta Cleveland. We met at the Black Caucus event.”

I immediately felt embarrassed by the way I’d spoken to her. “Oh
wow, I’m sorry. I thought you were my sister-in-law. I am really sorry about that.”

“Oh, that’s okay. I didn’t mean to disturb you on your job. I tried you on your cell phone, but it was disconnected—nonworking or something.”

I thought about my changing the number after the Kenard and Erin situation. “Yeah, I have a new one. But how’s everything with you?”

I could hear her smiling through the line as she replied, “Oh, Diego, everything is absolutely fabulous. Stellar, in fact. I have some really great news.”

“I’d love to hear it, but can I call you back on my lunch break?”

“Absolutely. Take my number. Be sure to call me back because I have something to propose to you.”

Propose,
I thought. I was hoping she hadn’t left her husband when I heard that. “Will do.”

Thirty minutes later
I was leaving the school for my lunch break. As I pulled out of the lot I saw my brother’s car stopped on the corner and there were two police cars behind him, lights flashing. I immediately pulled over and saw that he was no longer in the vehicle. When I looked closer and saw the guns drawn, I put my car in park and jumped out. “Officer,” I yelled. “I’m a schoolteacher at that school right there. That’s my brother.”

I was greeted with “Put your hands up. Don’t move. Don’t move or I’ll shoot.”

In shock, I threw my hands in the air. “I teach right here at Ridgewood. I teach second grade.”

“Shut your mouth,” the officer said. “Slowly turn around and put your hands on the vehicle.”

Two officers ran up beside me. In a matter of seconds, three more squad cars pulled up. “Lee, you all right over there?”

I felt a firm grip land on the back of my neck. Next, my head was forcefully slammed down to the hood of my car. “Shut your mouth.” They began rummaging through my pockets and then my hands were placed in string restraints.

“What’s going on, Officer?”

Things were quiet for a minute and then a fourth car pulled up. It was unmarked. The officers helped a man out of the backseat and then stood my brother up. They whispered something into the man’s ear and he shook his head. Then I heard one of the officers ask, “Are you certain?”

The man shook his head no and said, “There’s no way that’s him. He’s much too tall and not dark enough.”

The officer whispered again and then turned to Lee and said, “State your name, sir, then your address and the make and model of your vehicle.”

My brother seemed shaken and said, “My name is Lee Christian, I live at—”

The man interjected again. “No, that’s not him. Sounds nothing like him.” Five minutes later, after checking IDs and taking information, the police officers had the nerve to apologize before releasing us.

“Mr. Christian, the person we’re attempting to apprehend is a very dangerous sociopath and we know he’s armed. This person just robbed the Bank of Maryland across the street and we believe he’s in, or was just in, the vicinity. We really apologize for the rigid be
havior, but we have to be very aggressive in our efforts to catch him. He was seen fleeing in the direction of this neighborhood. We believe that he might be parking his car near here and fleeing the scene of the crimes on foot.”

He then handed me a business card and continued: “If you see any suspicious vehicles parked in this neighborhood, please, don’t hesitate to call.”

I looked over at Lee, who was dusting his clothes off after being pinned on the ground. “I don’t believe this crap,” he mumbled. The two officers who remained looked over at him like he was crazy.

I nodded and tucked away the card. When they pulled off I walked over to Lee. His lip was swollen and bleeding and his eye looked as if he’d been hit with a bag of nickels. “Whoa,” I said when I took a closer look. “Man, they beat the hell out of you. Did you resist arrest?”

He wiped his mouth. “Just let me get the keys.”

“I think you need to go to the hospital. Get your face checked out.”

“I’m fine. I just need some rest.”

As I was about to hand him the keys I heard tires screeching to a halt and right behind me was his wife, Nicole. She jumped out of her car as if she was on a warpath. “Is this what you do, huh, Lee? Run out on your wife with the first problem?”

“The first problem? Are you kidding me?”

“What are you doing here? Trying to get your brother to cover your lies?”

“I…was…um, bringing him his keys back. That’s all.” I was surprised to hear the lie come off of his lips, though he didn’t sound smooth at all.

“So, you need to bring your tail on home. Right now. We have some things to discuss.”

“I’m not ready to come home.”

When he said this, Nicole’s face twisted so bad that I feared her head was about to spin around. “Who is the bitch?” she yelled. “Who?” She proceeded to march up to him.

“Listen,” he said. “I’m not going through this in front of my brother. Come on, I’ll go home.”

“Ride with me,” she ordered. “We’ll come back later for your car.” I couldn’t believe the scene as it unfolded. He didn’t even argue. He locked his car and climbed in with her. She didn’t even so much as mention that he was bleeding and she didn’t seem concerned.

When they pulled off I stood there in disbelief and hungry. Because my lunch break was nearly over, I turned around and headed back toward the school. As I headed through the doors, I was glad that no one had seen me or my brother pinned down like two criminals. Or so I thought.

“Yo, Diego, what’s popping?” Grump was standing at the doors of the steps when I breezed in. He had a KFC bag in his hand. “Everything cool?”

“Yeah, everything’s cool.” If he’d seen me, then he’d have to bring it up. I walked by him and headed up the steps. As I cleared the first flight he yelled up, “You want some chicken? I got enough for Miss Thang, but she said she was having a salad. I can’t stand them salad-eating bitches.”

“You talking about Lanelle?”

“Who else? I know you wanna hit that, too.”

“Nah, I’m chilling right now.”

“Yeah, right.” He laughed. “So you want some chicken?”

“Okay, cool.”

“I’ll have one of the kids run it up. I have to take out my platter.”

“All right, whatever.”

As I made my way back to my room I peeked into Mrs. Whitmore’s classroom to see what Lanelle was up to. She had been asked to stay on as a long-term sub. I can’t lie and say I wasn’t happy about it. I was still laying back, not wanting to come off too eager to get all up in her face. Didn’t want to seem like I did that all the time. Workplace romances can get really tricky if you don’t navigate them. They are one situation where a brother has to be friends with a sistah. After the sex, if there’s no continued romance, there has to be somewhere or something to retreat to. The friend zone is that somewhere. Otherwise things tend to get real funky.

She was at the board writing, trying to stay on top of the lessons that we’d been instructed to give. I watched her for a moment. I realized that I was witnessing a sight that very few men ever got a chance to appreciate. Watching a woman write on a chalkboard, arms extended, back arched, breasts jiggling, and oftentimes ass wiggling back and forth. When she looked out the corner of her eye and saw me, I didn’t even move away. Instead, I just smiled and she smiled back. For a moment, I’d forgotten the ordeal with the police. Then my hunger pains brought it rushing right back.

When the sixth
grader came through the door to my room with the box of KFC, I was all too happy. I had five minutes to eat it. I wolfed it down and got ready for recess. Then I dragged through the rest of the day, thinking about the police and how they’d beat my
brother down. I understood that they were in the flow of duty, but the force had been excessive. I was going to call him and urge him to file a report. There might be some money in it, and the more I thought about it, the more traumatized I felt. When the final bell rang and the kids were dismissed, I walked them out of the building then ducked back in my room. I was about to dial Lee when I realized that I’d forgotten to return Jonetta’s call.

I pulled up her number and hit the send button. She answered and sounded really happy to be hearing from me. “Diego, Diego, Diego, I’ve been waiting for your call.”

“I’ve had quite a day.”

“I believe you. Molding young minds is quite a challenge, I assume,” she said.

“Among other things. But how’s everything going and what is the news you wanted to share with me?”

“Well, both things are actually related.” She cleared her throat. “You know, Diego, you saved my marriage.”

I thought back to the night we met and how it ended. “No way.”

“Yes, you did…and before I go any further, I want to thank you for all you said to me that night. I needed to hear everything you said. I don’t know, you just really spoke to my heart and helped me come to some really good realizations about my attitudes…how detrimental they were to my marriage. I actually went home and found a way to talk to my husband, a way where we were able to receive one another. I humbled myself for the first time in a long time, and because of that he was able to express his fears and still feel like a man. Like you said, I offered him some support instead of tearing him down.”

I listened to her and tried to remember any of what I’d said.
When I couldn’t I just listened some more. “Well, I’m glad I could help you.” I was. After all the home wrecking I’d done, it was good to be on the positive side of that.

“Well, that’s not the only good news. Last month I took the position as editor in chief of
Girl Talk
magazine. You’ve heard of it?”

“Of course, that’s the one where you bash the men like it’s nobody’s business.” I laughed.

“No, Diego. Not at all. It’s about empowerment and sharing. A lot like
Essence,
only we take the gloves off a little more and share some of the things that might not get talked about otherwise.”

“I see. Well, congratulations are in order.”

“Well, not just for me. For yourself as well.”

I was puzzled. “Why is that?”

“Because, sir, you are going to write my brand-new advice column.”

“You’ve got to be kidding.”

“Why would I be? Let me tell you this. It’s damn near impossible to get me to take anyone’s advice that I’m not paying one-fifty an hour for, but you, my friend, obviously have a gift.”

“At what?” I laughed.

She paused. “Anyone can give advice and be preachy, but, Diego, it takes something special to get the ladies to listen up. I know I’m not the first sistah you’ve moved or wooed with your ability to listen and then say exactly what needs to be said, now, am I?”

I paused for a second and I thought first of Alicia, then the others. Then it dawned on me, that’s how I’d always gotten them to give me what I wanted. I listened first; they listened second. “I guess not,” I replied.

“Good, then it’s settled. Give me your info. I’ll send you a con
tract, and some time in the next few days, you’ll have to come to New York to go over the specifics. We gotta move fast. Shouldn’t take but a day or two. Can you get the time off work at the school?”

I was taken totally off guard, but I answered, “I guess so.”

“Great, so you’re okay with this. I want your column to debut in the January 2006 issue. It’s gonna be great. There’s nothing quite like this in any other publication. You know what makes women tick and you also share the deepest secrets and fears that men have. The key is that you give it to them raw.”

“So, let me ask: Do I get paid for this?”

“Of course. It pays a little something, maybe a grand a month, but it’ll be great. You’ll get paid for doing something you do for free and do well.”

“Wow” was all I could say. A column in a national magazine and an extra grand per month on top of my teacher’s salary was all good. I could live with that.