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Authors: Kate Milliner

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”No, of course I haven't, My Lady,” Norah said quickly. ”I was only wondering... do you not find he is quite free with his compliments?”

”Free? No, I do not. I don't believe I have received a compliment from him yet, apart from the ones he gives through gaze and gesture.”

Norah's heart sank. Lady Rose looked at her again, sharply.

”What did you mean by that? Did your conversation with him give you some idea that he is a chancerer? I can hardly see what the gentleman could have done to deserve such a reproach from a servant.”

”I am not calling him anything, My Lady,” Norah said quickly. ”I only meant that it is probably best to exercise caution in the matters of the heart. That is all I meant.”

”Heart wants what it wants, Norah,” Lady Rose said. ”Caution is not the thing I value most. I would rather be brave than cautious, I thought you would know that by now.”

”Yes, My Lady,” Norah said and sighed, ”I do know it.”

 

CHAPTER 20

 

 

 

 

 

Norah was using aunt Sarah as a practice model again.

”Love, I really should get myself to the kitchen,” aunt Sarah said. ”It's nearly teatime and I haven't even boiled the potatoes yet.”

”Just a moment,” Norah said. ”I'm almost done.”

She pulled a few curls of hair out from the bun she had made high on her aunt's head. She fixed them around the bun at regular intervals.

”Do you want to see?” she asked her aunt.

Aunt Sarah took her small hand-mirror and looked at herself.

”My goodness! Face like an old crow's, hair like a young maiden's.”

Norah laughed.

”Do you think I dare try it on Lady Rose?”

”I don't see why not. It looks very well done to me, even if I wouldn't be seen in public like this.”

”Of course you would. It suits you,” Norah said, but in truth her aunt was right. The hairstyle looked meant for a younger woman. Aunt Sarah was 40 years old and a matronly figure. She and her husband Matt had not been blessed with offspring. She had been spared worries caused by having children but not worries caused by not having them.

 

***

 

Norah had found a picture of an ambitious hairstyle from an old issue of
The Lady
, borrowed from a neighbour. She was quite happy with her attempt of reproducing it. This should impress Lady Rose.

”How are they treating you in the big house?” aunt Sarah asked. Norah had been in the house for two hours. It was surprising that aunt Sarah had held off from asking until now.

”Good. For the most part good. Lady Rose has taken me into her confidences.”

”Confidences?” aunt Sarah said with a frown. ”I guess that's alright, as long as she doesn't turn against you.”

While they spoke, they moved into the kitchen and Norah was given a bowl of peas to shell.

”Why would she? She seems to really want to make me a special friend of hers.”

”But she's not your friend, is she. She's your employer.”

Norah felt bad hearing Lady Rose talked about this way.

”I don't know how to explain it. Sometimes when I come out of her room, it is like my head has been stretched out like a sponge.”

”Sounds painful,” aunt Sarah said and laughed.

”No, I mean – well, Lady Rose is a great lover of poetry. She is always talking about poems and books and pretending that I know what she's talking about. It's flattering in a way, but then I'm also always on pins and needles, because it can make one feel ignorant.”

The pods split open with a pleasant pop in her hands, and it didn't really feel like she was describing any major hurdles. The world made sense, after all – there were peas and there were pods, and all one had to do was to keep them separate. How tricky could that be?

”Does she appreciate how much effort you're putting into improving your sewing?” aunt Sarah asked.

”Yes, sometimes,” Norah said unconvincingly.

”Well, at least you're getting paid,” aunt Sarah said, peeling potatoes with great force. ”And getting good food and board. That is nothing to be sneezed at.”

”No, it's not,” Norah admitted, ”and I don't mind the work, thought there is lots of it. But it
is
strange how Lady Rose blathers on about freedom so much, when in truth she does exactly what she pleases all day long.”

”Rich people can't busy themselves with work like you and me. Idle hands make them fill their heads with seven kinds of nonsense.”

 

***

 

While they ate, Norah told aunt Sarah and uncle Matt about Lady Letitia, her haughty fiancée and his friend Mr. Cowley, whom Lady Rose seemed to think very clever. He had been kind to Norah, too, when she and Lady Rose happened to come across him on their walk. Kind, how? aunt Sarah wanted to know. He had been very chatty, asking her about life in service and such.

”I suppose he's easy on the eye, too?” aunt Sarah asked.

”Lady Rose seems to think so,” Norah said, casting her eyes down.

”Did
you
think so?” aunt Sarah said.

Norah could see that it was a loaded question, so she tried her best to form a casual answer. She was still blushing deeply and composing it in her head, when aunt Sarah sighed and said, ”Norah! I will say one thing, and then we don't have to talk about this more. You can't go against your employer, you really can't. If you do, it won't matter who is right and who is wrong. You will find yourself kicked to the curb quicker than you can say cat.”

Norah bowed her head down, ashamed, though she hardly knew why.

”Since your dear mama is not here, I have to say these things to you. You can't flirt with the man she is interested in. It's not harmless.”

Norah looked shocked, especially since her mother had been mentioned. ”Of course I didn't flirt!”

”I'm sure you didn't mean to, but I'm only saying, don't put yourself in a situation where he might appear to be speaking to you more eagerly than he does to
her
. It sounds like a very dangerous idea.”

Aunt Sarah's tone softened, and she took Norah's hands into her own.

”I'm sure Lady Rose is an admirable woman. It sounds like she behaves kindly enough towards you, but don't be fooled to think you're safe no matter what.”

She was weighing her words and continued, ”Just make sure you don't cause any trouble, and get so good at your job that they have no reason to chuck you out.”

”Why would she want to chuck me out?” Norah asked, confused.

”A reason can always be found, real or not. I'm only saying, do your best to become irreplaceable, and maybe they won't want to. And most importantly, don't go against your mistress. Believe me, your mother would have said the same, only more forcefully.”

The door went, and uncle Matt stepped in the kitchen.

”Nobody told me the royalty would be visiting,” he said, looking at his wife.

Aunt Sarah touched her bun with its springy curls and laughed.

”We have a lady's maid in the house, so I guess we must have a lady, too.”

 

***

 

Uncle Matt ate the last piece of meat, uncontested.

”You should be getting back, Norah,” he said. ”You don't want to be walking out there in the dark. I would walk with you, but my leg is playing up again.”

”I'll be perfectly alright, don't worry,” Norah said. Regardless, she found it difficult to leave. When her aunt patted her shoulder and said, ”Visit us again, when you can”, Norah felt her eyes tear up. She had to pull herself together at the door, as if she was leaving for a dragon's den.

 

CHAPTER 21

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lady Rose hardly knew what to do with herself. A hideous restlessness had taken over her whole body this late afternoon. There was a fidgety little bird locked inside her chest, fluttering around and pecking its way out through the ribcage.

Lady Rose roamed from room to room, thoroughly upsetting Mr. Cartwright's sense of order each time he came across her in the hallway.

”I am only getting a book from the library,” she said to him.

”Very good, Lady Rose,” he said and moved aside.

After a few minutes she was returning from the library, having remembered to take a book with her. It was a novel by Thomas Hardy, which had in fact been recommended to her by Mr. Cowley.

”I have some business with Mrs. Motley,” she said to Mr. Cartwright, who was standing outside the library door.

”Very good, Lady Rose,” he said, with a polite little nod.

She walked down the stairs and stopped in the corridor leading to the servants' hall. She lingered there for some time. There was a small painting on the wall, which she had never paid much attention to. It was a pretty landscape with a big red farmhouse, mottled hens and a woman dressed in a blue dress and blue bonnet walking across the courtyard. The painting breathed a kind of serenity and peace. Lady Rose thought the woman must feel like she was entirely in her proper place in the universe, in the company of right people and right hens and with good, solid tasks to occupy her day with.

”Lady Rose,” Mrs. Motley said, having already cleared her throat twice to get the lady's attention. ”Is there something you need?”

”No, thank you, Mrs. Motley,” Lady Rose said. ”I was only – really, I couldn't tell you. I have quite forgotten why I came down here.”

With that, she headed to the staircase again. When she came up, she could hear quick steps coming from the hallway. It was Mr. Cowley, running toward her. Even though she had been looking for him, observing him suddenly like that made her gasp and take an uncertain step back. There was an expression of anxiety on the gentleman's face, and his footsteps echoed loudly in the corridor.

”Mr. Cowley! What is wrong?” Lady Rose asked.

”I have just received a telegram,” Mr. Cowley said slightly out of breath. ”I'm afraid I have to leave. My mother has been taken ill – maybe you remember what I told you about her weak lungs. That is why I am very worried, you see.”

”That is terrible news,” Lady Rose said, with her hand on her chest.

”Thank you – yes, it is – I have to ask Mr. Cartwright to call for the driver.”

Lady Rose thought fast.

”But Mr. Cowley, you can't go. Will you not catch the influenza too, if you go? That is why you came here, to escape the disease.”

”I must go,” he said, ”now that my mother is ill – there is no way around it. I'll take the precautions that the doctor tells me to, but I must go and see her.”

”But, you see, there is only one train from here to London, and it goes in the morning. I'm afraid you'll have to wait until tomorrow morning before you leave.”

Mr. Cowley glowered at her but then quickly fixed his face into a more polite expression.

”Yes, you are right, Lady Rose, though I have no idea what I will do with myself until the morning. I feel ready to crawl out of my skin.”

Lady Rose couldn't say that she could relate to the feeling.

”Mr. Cowley, let me help you pass the time. Maybe we could go out for a walk.”

”I wouldn't be good company right now,” Mr. Cowley said, bowing his head back slightly and closing his eyes.

Lady Rose had a powerful urge to make him feel better somehow. She was standing near enough to pat him on his arm, and she did. As a reflex the gentleman leaned toward her as if to be held like a child. There was a moment when he was so close that Lady Rose could feel his warm breath on her face.

Mr. Cowler opened his eyes and tugged himself away.

”I am sorry,” he muttered, ”I have better go and ring for the valet. He needs to be told about the changed plan. Excuse me, Lady Rose.”

He marched away. Lady Rose was left standing in the corridor. She was stunned and happy.

 

CHAPTER 22

 

 

 

 

 

Norah was in the middle of a work-filled dream, when she was awaken by a hand shaking her shoulder. She would have screamed, but Lady Rose had her mouth covered with a tightly-clasping hand. Once Norah had opened her eyes, the lady signalled her to stay quiet. The candle on the desk lent enough light for her to make out who had woken her, but everything else was veiled in mystery.

Lady Rose pointed at Nellie, who was fast asleep in the other bed, meaning that Norah should not make a peep and wake her. Nellie slept like a little girl, with one hand folded under her cheek and nothing of her daytime feistiness in her expression.

Reluctantly Norah sat up in the freezing room.

”What is the matter, My Lady?” she whispered.

”Put something on and come with me,” Lady Rose whispered back. ”I will wait outside. And for heavens' sake, do it quietly.”

She slipped out of the door before Norah had a chance to say anything else, leaving the candle on the table. Norah rubbed her eyes and looked at her clothes neatly folded on the chair-back, which doubled as a clothes horse at night. Then she thought of Lady Rose standing in the pitch-black hallway and felt that she ought to get cracking.

 

***

 

Only moments later she was on Lady Rose's tail through the dark passages.

”I really wish you would tell me what we are doing, My Lady,” she said.

Lady Rose looked at her with a finger on her lips and kept going. The house was as quiet as a tomb. The only sounds were their muffled footsteps and anxious breathing.

She led Norah first to the kitchen and said, ”Please, Norah, grab a log.”

”What is it for, My Lady?” Norah asked, alarmed.

”Stop asking so many questions,” Lady Rose hissed. ”I'll tell you everything upstairs.”

When they came to the locked door at the end of the servant's quarters corridor, Lady Rose put a key to the lock and opened it.

”I thought only Mr. Cartwright had the key to that,” Norah said.

”If you don't want to wake up Mr. Cartwright or Mrs. Motley, for heavens' sake, keep your voice down,” Lady Rose said. She opened the door and pulled Norah out, exasperated at the maid's standing immobile and staring at her strange actions. She took the log from Norah and used it to bolt the door open.

”I have known where they keep the spare key since I was a little girl,” Lady Rose said. ”You are not to breathe a word about this to anyone.”

 

Norah was shivering in the night-cold house.

”My Lady, please tell me what is the matter,” she begged. If this peculiar outing was discovered, Lady Rose could only expect a scolding but Norah would certainly be fired. The house was rustling and crackling around them. Norah strained her eyes and tried to see what was causing the sounds, but she couldn't see much beyond the halo of light from the lantern.

Lady Rose stopped and turned to look at her properly.

”I realize that I owe you an explanation,” she said and took her hand, ”but I hardly have hope of making you understand. I woke up and I could not sleep again. I can't begin to describe how I feel, Norah. I am like a pea when water starts to boil, ready to burst.”

”Is that why we are out here, My Lady?”

”Mr. Cowley is leaving. His mother has caught the influenza, and he goes home tomorrow morning.”

”That is sad news, My Lady,” Norah said.

”Yes, yes it is, but you see, I can't let him go like this. Not while everything is entirely unsettled between us.”

”What is unsettled?” Norah asked.

”Don't make me spell it out,” Lady Rose said, exasperated, ”I couldn't. I was tossing and turning in my bed, and I knew I couldn't let him go without doing something. When life hands one an opportunity, it would be criminal to let it go to waste. One has to seize the day, as I am always saying to you.”

Norah was still looking at her with a witless look in her eyes. ”I don't understand what role I could play in this –”

”Look, here,” Lady Rose said impatiently, ”I have written him a note. I want you to take it to him.”

”What? To his room?” Norah asked.

”Yes. I can't knock on the door myself, it would be very improper.”

”Is it any more proper for me to go into a gentleman's room? I can't do it, My Lady.”

Norah dug her heels in. The whole time that Norah was voicing her protests, they had been inching towards the door of the gentleman in question. Now they had in fact arrived in front of it.

”Please, Norah, I'm begging you!” Lady Rose whispered. ”Just do this one thing for me. I will be forever grateful.”

Norah's heart was pounding. Everything in her was protesting the idea.

”My Lady, please don't ask it of me,” she pleaded. ”It would be terribly embarrassing, and I will be sacked for sure if anyone finds out.”

”I will stand here and keep watch,” Lady Rose hissed. ”If you didn't have to be so contrary, it would be done already.”

 

Norah tried to persuade her one more time. ”This is madness, My Lady. Please, let us forget all about it.”

”One cannot love and be wise, Norah,” Lady Rose said, her eyes gleaming in the candle-light.

”My Lady, are you really saying 'love'? You have only just met the gentleman.”

”Hush,” Lady Rose said and looked alert like a tracker dog. They both held their breath and listened, but Norah could only hear the thumping of her own heart. Without paying more attention to the shaken up Norah, Lady Rose knocked on the door and slipped behind a stone pillar. Norah was ready to burst to tears with nerves and embarrassment, and just when the door opened, there was a clear sound of a door being opened at the other end of the corridor as well.

Mr. Cowley, who had opened his door, looked quite astonished to see Norah, but luckily he was also quick to act. He, too, had heard the clank of the heavier door in the other end of the passage. He grabbed Norah by her sleeve somewhat forcefully and pulled her into his room, closing the door silently behind them.

 

Lady Rose was caught in a strange predicament, standing in the corridor for no apparent reason, when Mr. Cartwright reached her.

”Are you ill, Lady Rose?”

”No, Mr. Cartwright,” Lady Rose said, gathering all of her dignity about her. ”Why would you say that?”

”I'm afraid His Lordship is not at all well. I have just taken him some warm milk.”

She was grasping at her manners.

”Oh. I had not realized my father had come home. What a shame – that he is ill, I mean. But I am quite well, I just couldn't sleep and I was going to – But never mind, I will go back to my room.”

”Would you like me to warm you some milk, too, My Lady?”

The last thing Lady Rose wanted was that Mr. Cartwright would keep roaming the hallways. He would be sure to catch Norah strangely coming out of a gentleman's room.

”No, thank you. I am feeling quite sleepy now. Good-night, Mr. Cartwright.”

”Good-night, Lady Rose.”

Lady Rose walked away. When she looked back, Mr. Cartwright was still standing at the same spot and pondering. She felt forced to go into her room and stay there for the rest of the night.

 

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