Lamp Black, Wolf Grey (32 page)

“I would do anything for you, Megan, anything.”

“Come,” Merlin said as he picked up the torch. “We must leave. I have subdued the dungeon guards, but we might be discovered at any time.”

“Indeed you might.”

All three turned as one, shrinking back against the ruined wall. Lord Geraint stood before them, sword drawn, four soldiers flanking him.

“Well, well,” he said slowly. “I admit to deriving some small satisfaction from seeing a plan come to fruition. It seems all things do indeed come to he who waits.”

“Let us pass.” Merlin’s words were in the shape of a demand, not a request. “You have no fight with this maid. She has done nothing, and you have treated her with cruelty beyond measure. I have come to take her from this hellish place.”

“Did you in all truth believe you could walk in here, take the girl, and walk out again? Had you really imagined that using your foul magic to addle the senses of a few lowly guards would be sufficient to breach the defenses of my castle? You insult me, Magician, and not for the first time. I was ahead of your reckless plan to involve Lord Idris.”

“We were betrayed.”

“There will always be men more loyal to gold than to that jumped-up peasant boy who calls himself noble. It was a costly skirmish, and one for which you must bear responsibility. Good men lost their lives. Llewelyn lost a hand, though God knows I should take the other for his failure to capture you. And Idris made good his escape, damn him. You cannot imagine I would let you have your freedom.”

“Please, Father, let Megan go. Please don’t hurt her anymore.” Huw stepped forward, holding out his hands to his parent in a heartfelt entreaty.

“Stand aside, boy! You are no son of mine.”

“Father!”

“It comes as no surprise to see where your allegiance lies. For years I have raised you as my own, when it was plain to all with fingers to count and eyes to see the color of your hair to know you were not. And this is how you repay me. Treachery! Betrayal!”

“You are cruel and wicked!” Huw shouted, clenching angry fists. “It is no wonder mother chose Lord Idris over you!”

Lord Geraint flinched as if the child had struck him, and then he let out a bellow and lunged forward. Megan saw in that instant that he was going to kill Huw. With a scream, summoning strength she thought had long ago left her forever, she flung herself in front of the boy. The sword’s point found its target, digging deep through flesh and muscle, but the breast it pierced was not Huw’s but Megan’s.

The dungeon was filled with cacophonous cries. Huw screamed as Megan fell at his feet, blood pouring from her wound. Merlin sprang forward with the roar of a wild beast. He grabbed Lord Geraint by the throat before the man had a second to evade him. With superhuman speed and power, he lifted him up and slammed him against the wall. The soldiers hesitated to go to their master’s aid, seeing the strength and fury of the wild man in front of them. One summoned the courage to charge with his sword. Without so much as glancing in his direction, Merlin used his free hand to send an unseen thunderbolt cracking into the swordsman’s chest. The young man shrieked in pain, and his body flew backward, crashing against the far wall. The other soldiers backed away. A terrified silence replaced the noise. All that could be heard were the gurgling noises from Lord Geraint’s throat as Merlin let him slowly choke in his iron grasp.

“Mercy!” he croaked, his hands clawing at Merlin’s wrist, his feet kicking. “
Mercy!”

Merlin watched him struggle. “When in your evil life have you ever known the meaning of that word?” he asked. At last, Lord Geraint’s eyes clouded over, his tongue lolled from his mouth, and his futile struggling came to an end. Merlin released him, and the body slid onto the rubble of the dismantled wall. Lord Geraint lay broken and twisted and grotesque, unloved and unmourned. Merlin turned to the soldiers, who cowered under his gaze. “Let him stay where he lies,” he told them. “Let no man move him, so that he rot here—the fate he had intended for Megan.” He dropped to Megan’s side. Huw was desperately pressing his bundled shirt to her wound, but already it ran scarlet, and a pool of blood grew at their feet.

“Megan! How have I brought you to this?” Merlin took her hand and kissed it. “What use is my magic now? What use at all, when I do not possess the power that could save you?”

“Hush now.” She stroked his cheek. “This is not your failing. Evil men will do evil, and the hapless innocent will sometimes get in their path. It is the way of things.”

Merlin pressed his face to her belly, tears spilling from his eyes, his voice cracked and hoarse. “Do not leave me!” he begged her. “You are my life, both of you!”

Megan winced with pain, grateful at least for the fever, which was blurring the edges of the agony she should otherwise be engulfed by. She struggled to speak.

“Take me out of this place,” she said. “Take me up to the sunlight once more.”

Merlin looked at her, his own heart as broken as hers, and nodded. Gently he lifted her up and turned to leave. In front of them the remaining soldiers shuffled nervously. Without a word he subdued them, so that they stood aside, heads bowed, as he carried Megan out.

Slowly he wound up the twisting stairs. In his arms Megan moaned lightly. She was so happy to be close to him now, at the end, that she felt no fear, only sadness for him and for their child. He took her onto the parapet of the nearest tower and knelt down, cradling her in his lap. It had been a bright day, and now the sun was just touching the horizon, sending crimson and scarlet slashes through the forget-me-not sky.

Megan sighed as she looked out at the mountains. It was good to see them again, to feel the fresh, clean air on her face, to be free once more, for however brief a moment. She heard Huw sobbing softly behind her and looked up into the tortured eyes of her lover. With some effort she raised a bloodstained hand and touched Merlin’s face.

“Do not weep for me, my love. We were the favored ones, to have found each other and shared one sun-kissed summer. I am only sorry I did not give you the child you long for. It was not meant to be. Instead, I will take it with me to heaven to keep me company. And you will find another.”

“No…” He shook his head.

“Yes, you will. One day. And she will ease your aching heart and give you your child.” She wanted to say more, but she felt faint and distant, her vision unclear. Suddenly she was high above the castle walls, floating above the crenellations of the tower. Looking down she could see Merlin holding her in his arms, weeping silently over her limp body as Huw stood a short way off. How curious it was to see herself thus, to be a distant observer of her own death. A sound distracted her. She turned her head the better to catch the voices she believed she had heard. At last they were louder. It filled her with joy to hear her father’s voice again. And her mother’s, too! Gently but persistently they called her name. Megan took one last, lingering look at the man who clung to her earthly body, then turned away and was gone.

14

I
T WAS A
little after midnight when Laura crept out of the house and headed for Rhys’s croft. A cloudless night made the journey easier than it might have been, but still she needed her torch to pick her way along the hill path. She was sure she would not be missed. The evening had been an emotional one, where talk had turned to how life had been before Angus’s accident. Every memory was punctuated with a swig of wine, so that it was hard not to become teary as the hours passed. Steph had eventually headed for bed, promising that this time she would forgo the sleeping tablet that had become the norm for her. Laura and Dan had not been in bed more than five minutes before he was snoring gently. She knew him well enough to be certain he would sleep soundly until morning.

All the same, she quickened her pace. She was dreading the scene that lay ahead and wanted it all done and over. Her breath clouded in the torchlight, and she could feel the cold seeping in through her gloves. At least the exertion of the uphill climb was keeping the rest of her warm. When she reached the cottage it looked almost cozy with its lamplight falling through the curtainless windows. She took a breath and raised her hand but the door was opened before she could knock. Rhys stepped out quickly and pulled her into a tight embrace.

“Laura, my beautiful Laura, I knew you would not let me down.”

She fought the impulse to push him away but wriggled free as soon as she could.

“Let’s go inside,” she said. “It’s freezing out here.”

“Of course, sorry, my love, I wasn’t thinking. It’s just so good to see you and have you to myself again at last.” He led her by the hand to the open fire. “Sit down, I’ll get you a drink.” He fetched wine while she peeled off her warm outdoor clothing and sat nervously on the edge of the sofa.

“Here,” he said, passing her a large goblet of red wine. “Drink. It’ll warm you up.”

Laura sipped reluctantly. She needed a clear head and had already drunk more than she should have before leaving the house.

“Rhys,” she said hesitantly. “We need to talk.”

“You are so right,” he said, nodding with enthusiasm.

“I am?” He surely could have no idea what was on her mind.

“I love you, Laura. We are meant to be together. It’s obvious. We can’t go on letting other people get in the way of that any longer. It’s time.”

“Time? Time for what?” Laura felt her mouth drying and took another sip of wine.

Rhys knelt in front of her and took her hands in his.

“Time to tell everyone about us. Time for you to move in here with me. It’s what we both want. Let’s not put it off any longer.”

“But…”

“I know it’s hard for you, I understand. Of course you feel bad about Dan, but he’ll get over it. I told you, Laura, he’s already getting close to Steph. Leave them to it. Think about yourself for a change.”

“Actually, I think I’ve been doing rather too much of that lately,” she said, pulling her hands away. “That’s what’s got us into this situation.”

“Situation?” There was an edge to his voice now. “You and me, we are not a
situation.”

“Look, I’m sorry, Rhys. I’m making a mess of this.”

“Don’t put yourself down. You know I don’t like you doing that.”

“You don’t understand.” She stood up and stepped away from him a little. “Rhys, I came here tonight to tell you that it’s over. You and me. Us. It was wrong. It never should have happened in the first place. I can’t do this anymore.”

“Of course you can’t. I wouldn’t expect you to, all this creeping around and feeling guilty. That’s why we’re going to be together properly. No more hiding.”

“No!” She had not meant to shout, but she had to make him listen to what she was saying. “I can’t be with you, Rhys. Not anymore, not secretly, not living with you, not now and again, nothing. It stops now. I’m sorry, but that’s the way it has to be.”

There was a moment’s silence. Laura began to stop feeling nervous and start feeling scared. She could sense the anger building in Rhys as he stared at her in disbelief.

“You don’t mean that.” He spoke softly, but there was ice in his tone.

“Yes, I do.”

“You love me. We are destined to be together. This is not some whim, some passing fancy. This is what has to be,” he said, grabbing her hand. “Come upstairs.”

“What?”

“Come upstairs—there is something you should see. Something I need to explain.”

Laura hesitated. Rhys’s bedroom was the last place she wanted to be right now, but what choice did she have?

“Please,” he said, stroking her palm with his thumb.

She followed him, cursing herself for not handling things better, anxious that he was stubbornly going to refuse to listen to her.

Upstairs the little room was in darkness. Rhys lit a candle by the bed, then an old oil lamp. He carried the lamp over to the wall with the Indian hanging and beckoned Laura. She stepped a little closer. Rhys reached up and detached the fabric, removing it completely. The wall behind it was covered in pictures. He held up the lamp, and as the light fell on the images Laura stared openmouthed. There were drawings, paintings, pictures cut from books and magazines, computer printouts, and photocopies. They were all different in size and quality, but they were all of the same person: Merlin. Laura was aware of Rhys watching her, waiting for some reaction.

“Wow,” she said feebly. “This is … impressive.”

“Look.” He gestured at one image, then another. “This is Merlin when he was a boy. You don’t see many depictions of him at such a young age, and this is him at the cave near Carmarthen, and with Arthur, and working as a shaman.”

“I never realized you were quite such a fan.” Laura regretted the flippancy of her remark the second she had made it.

“Fan! I am not a fan. For pity’s sake, Laura, can’t you see?” He stood close to one of the larger images, one that made Laura long for Merlin with all her heart. “Open your eyes,” Rhys told her. “What do you see?”

“You look very alike,” she said.

“Not just alike. The same.
The same!
” In the lamplight his eyes glinted and his face was animated. “I have known for so long. I’ve studied him for years, and that’s when I began to realize the connection. That’s why I came to live here, where he was. I’ve come home. Do you see that now? And look, there’s something else.” He grabbed her hand again and pulled her to the wall. “Look at her.”

Laura looked and saw a delicate watercolor print of Megan.

“Don’t you recognize yourself?” he asked.

“Rhys, that is not me.”

“But it is!”

“No, she looks like me, but she is somebody else.”

“I know it’s hard for you to take in, but you have to trust me, Laura. I know. Merlin has been reborn in me, and Megan, the love of his life who he lost so tragically—she has been reborn in you.”

“Rhys…” Now Laura was really frightened. If she had clung to any thought that she might have been wrong about Rhys she let it go now. He was clearly seriously deluded. Dangerously so, she believed. How could she ever reason with such a person?