Languish for you (My soulmate) (20 page)

“So, you wanted to know something. Could you repeat your question?” it wasn't time to talk about what had just happened between us. This kiss was amazing and I didn't want to hear how sorry and how wrong it was for us to kiss each other.

“Vanessa,” he repeated my name. He didn't understand what I was trying to do.

“I brought that cat here, because she did the right thing; animals aren't humans' toys. I didn't want that anyone could hurt this kitty. Plus, she chose me, not other way around,” I said in one breath.

“Vanessa.”

I saw what I didn't want to be a witness of; his eyes were full of guilt.

“Trinity,” I said. “Everything is okay. Snow will stay here. If you don't like that, you are free to find another flat. After all, you and Avery told me that this flat belongs to me. So, I do what I want,” and I turned on my heels. He didn't stop me when I walked out from the room. He just stood there, staring at me.

He felt guilty, while I felt desire to repeat what we did just some minutes ago. And the only thing which made me blameworthy, was exactly that.

Snow followed me. She jumped on my bed and looked at me from there while I took a seat in front of my laptop, trying to created some kind of plan what I should do next and how I should act being in front of Christopher.

<<>>

He knew he shouldn't have done that, but he wanted so much to kiss her, to find out how it was to feel her lips against his. Christopher knew it was wrong for him to want that. His soulmate wasn't Trinity and she will never be. She had her another half while he was doomed to be alone forever, trying to find out why his Vanessa was taken from him.

He took a pillow from the soda and threw it straight to the wall. He was mad, because she knew how to make him crazy, how force him to want what couldn't never happen. How could she do that? And what was the most important question, how she managed to act like his Vanessa? Her movements, words... sometimes he had to convince himself that she wasn't his Vanessa. And still, he couldn't eliminate that feeling to long for her.

And now that cat! His Vanessa would have done the same thing. She loved cats and had many of them in their house. Another strange coincidence.

Avery walked into the room, spreading calmness around
her
. He was lucky that she didn't decide to come five minutes earlier, because she would have seen what she really didn't want to.

“What have she done now?” that was her first question.

“Cat,” he said simply. “She brought a cat to this house.”

She rolled her eyes.

“And that is the reason why you seem so...on fire?” she laughed. “If I had
known
, I would have brought a million of them to see you so read and nervous.”

She was a tough cookie. He was stupid if he really thought he could hide anything from her. But this time he decided to risk. Avery shouldn't know what he had done. It was his and Trinity's business.

“Cha,” he put his hands into his pant pockets and turned to the window. Some ugly clouds were slowly swimming in the sky.

“What else happened?” she asked.

“Nothing special,” he answered.

“You hate cats?” she suddenly asked intrigued.

“It's not your business,” he said in low voice and quickly walked out from the room, leaving Avery suspicious. But he didn't care. Avery could imagine whatever she liked.

<<>>

Christopher didn't come that day to my room. Also, I didn't see him in the morning. Avery told me he had to leave earlier because he had some kind of a meeting. I pretended that I didn't care, although I felt a little hurt not seeing him, hearing his voice.

“I will stay at Tobias' tonight,” I informed Avery.

She grinned. It wasn't a secret what kind of thoughts she had in her little head. But I promised myself that I wouldn't let
that
happened, even if I really wanted
that.

“Sure,” Avery nodded. After some minutes, she left me. And after some more minutes, Tobias appeared in front of my home door, waiting for me to go with him to university and then to his flat. It was really strange for Christopher and Avery to let me leave this flat so easily when
that thing
wasn't done yet. But I didn't intend to find out the main reason, why they acted like that. I wanted to have some kind of freedom from them.

“You seem tired,” Tobias said, planting a soft kiss on my lips.

Yea, I was tired, because I pondered all night about my kiss with Christopher. Also, I tried to avoid that scary dream, which had some kind of secret message in it, but I couldn't make it out. So, I had slept only two hours before my alarm clock started singing.

“Not tired, just missing one special person next to me,” I took his hands into mine and squeezed it a bit.

He smiled and kissed me one more time, before we left my home. I tried to push images of Christopher
away
and the feeling of his lips against mine from my mind. Lucky for me, it was quite easy to do when I was with my soulmate. His touch, his voice, his smile...did magical things to me.

And soon our lectures ended, giving us all evening and night to be together in his flat. Dammit how I wished to be there. I even laughed at myself in my mind. Before that all dead business, I was frightened by the idea to be alone with a guy, but now, I was excited. Zero fear. Only curiosity.

Tobias warned me not to imagine a luxurious flat. So, I didn't. I had an idea, how his little flat could look like. After all he was only a student, living from his parents' pocket. He wasn't me, who get a huge sum of money because I was killed and brought back to life.

But still, I got more than I hoped. That one room was quite huge for one person. In it was double bed, a TV, a laptop, a wardrobe, a small table,
and some
paintings on the wall.

“It's not much, but it will me my home while I be studying here,” he hugged me.

“It's lovely,” I said sincerely.

He smiled and released me.

“What would you like to do?” he asked me. I shrugged. It didn't matter what we will do while we were together. “Tea or coffee?” he asked me.

“Tea.”

He kissed me.

“Look around. I will make us some tea.”

I nodded and entered into the room while he walked to the kitchen. The first thing which caught my eyes was the table on which some books and photographs were lying. I took some of them as I sat down on the bed. What I saw in them, really shocked me.

That can't be possible, I staid in my mind, feeling how my blood runs from my cheeks, making my face to look paler.

After some minutes Tobias came into the room, bringing tea. But I didn't care about the drinks. I wanted to know, how he got those photographs.

“Oh, I see you found something interesting” he said, taking a seat next to me. “That's my cousin. I told you that you look like her a lot.”

Look like her? I asked in my mind. I am her!

The girl in those photographs was me. In one I was with my parents and brother, in second with my friends, in third just smiling, holding a flower. All of those photographs seemed to be touched a lot.

“Her name was?” I asked, knowing the answer to my question already.

“Trinity. Strange name, right?”

Please, just kill me, I begged in my mind. This really couldn't be happening. I was his cousin and his soulmate. We were kin. And how that managed to happen.

“How did she die?”

“
The
accident. Four months before I was born.”

I was stagnated on the bed, not knowing what to think, what to do. He was my cousin. And why was I finding
the truth only
now? Didn't Christopher or Avery know about him and me?

And then the answer hit me; I shouldn't have remembered anything. But was it the only reason why my soul was connected with his, why we were created for each other?

“How her parents...endure all that?”

“I don't know. My mother do
es
n't like to talk about those days. She found out what had happened to her only some months before I was born. No one wanted to tell her sad news when she had to be happy.”

“You said she liked writing.”

“Yea,” he nodded. “I have all of her stories in my computer. Some of them are in Lithuanian, so I needed to learn it.”

“And do you?”

“Yes, I can speak in Lithuanian and also in English. She knew three languages and wrote in all of them,” he snaked on of his hand around my waist, pulling me closer to him.

Now, instead of feeling thrilled by his touch, I felt disgust. We couldn't be together, because we were kin. Our children would be degenerated. And one way or another, the truth that we were siblings will be known. What then?

“Is everything okay?” he finally noticed that something wasn't right with me. I looked at him. I knew that I shouldn't be here now. I should go from this flat right now and try to let this new fact settle.

“I got a message,” I chose to lie. “Avery has some problems at home. She wants me to come back,” I put my hand on my pocket in which was my mobile phone. “I am sorry,” I looked at him, trying my best to look really sorry for ruining our time together.

“I can't say that I am not sad,” he run with his fingers on my cheek,” but maybe then we could spend some time together tomorrow?” and he kissed me. Strangely, but my lips didn't care that he was my cousin.

“I will try,” I promised, but I also promised myself to avoid him for couple of days before I would find out what was happening.

“I love you,” he kissed me again.

This time I repeated those words without truly feeling something to him.

Tobias walked with me to the nearest U-bahn stop. There he kissed me again, telling me how much he loved me. I only could smile hearing those words.

But I didn't hurry to go home. Christopher and Avery were just puppets, who knew what was told them. I need a person, who knew more than them and it was Eduard. Was he waiting for me to find this choking fact? If so, I knew it and I didn't wait for our meeting. I wanted to know everything right now.

The doorman greeted me and let me in without any problems. Soon the same young woman approached me, telling that Mr. Eduard wasn't expecting me today, but he will still meet me.

I waited for him in the same living room. But this time on the table were two cups of tee, a plate full of cookies. It seemed that this will be a long conversation between us or he was just waiting for something.

“So, you are here, Trinity,” he was wearing a white costume with a black tie. “Why are you here?” he sat down gracefully.

“About my soulmate. He is my cousin,” I said in disgust. “Who was a wally to make me his soulmate?”

He grinned.

“So, finally you found that out. Took you long to find that out.”

“You knew.”

“Of course, Trinity. I
knew
who Tobias is to you. That was one of the
reasons
why his soul was put in that body.”

“My ears are dieing to hear that reason.”

“First things first,” he took a cup into his hand. “You are with tracking devices. Didn't I ask you to come here without them?”

“Well,” I frowned,” I was so curious to know the truth that I didn't care about anything else.”

“Lucky for you, this building turns off those devices. But still, I don't think Christopher is stupid. I heard only good responses about him and his job.”

“I came here to chat about other things, Mr. Eduard. So, please, tell me how it happened that I am my cousin's soulmate.”

He took a sip of his tea.

“It's your own fault really.”

“My fault?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “Your soulmate died, so you were killed. But you had the gift of God, so we just wanted you to continue your job. So, your soulmate was put into your cousin's body, to make sure that you would have access to your stories.”

“But something happened.”

“You are right. Something happened. Your soul didn't want a new body, so, the baby died. Do you know
who
’s
sister you would have been?”

I shook my head.

“Well, maybe I should let you find that out by yourself then.”

“No!” I said in angry tone. “Tell me,” I ordered him.

“So vicious,” he said, lifting one corner of his lips up. “You know Agnes, right?”

I nodded.

“Her mother was pregnant. She knew your aunt. Everything was perfect.”

I clenched my hands into fist. Everything was far away from being perfect. I was brought back from dead, the man to whom my heart belonged was my cousin... I will meet my aunt and her husband, which I didn't have opportunity to meet. My aunt would immediately recognize me.

“Can you just kill us again and...”

He shook his head.

“No. We don't know how special your soul is and risking to kill you again... No, Trinity. We don't like to take any kind of risk. Something in you is special and we would like to find that out. Yes, it is really devastating that your soulmate is you cousin, but that is only status. Your feelings for him will eventually force you to ignore that, Trinity”