Last Christmas (15 page)

Catherine sat staring out into the dark garden, sipping a glass of wine and feeling furious. Noel had promised to come home early. It was a bank holiday. They had planned a family day out the next day. He was clearly in the pub because his mobile had been switched off all evening. She’d given up trying to reach it. The kids had all been riotous when she got home, Magda having apparently given them something with thousands of E-numbers for tea. Mel had forgotten all about the important science project by the time Cat had got in; instead, she was in floods of tears because she’d fallen out with her best friend on MSN. Despite Cat’s dire warnings about being careful in online dealings, Mel still hadn’t quite worked out that MSN wasn’t the best place for sorting out disputes. The resulting hysterics had taken an hour to calm down, by which time it was too late to put Ruby in the bath, and James and Paige had managed to cause chaos in the lounge by setting up a complicated
Dr Who
game, which for some reason had required all of Cat’s nicest, plumpest, whitest cushions being stuck end to end on the floor. By the time it had all been tidied away and the children chased to bed, it was gone nine.

She glanced at her watch. It was midnight already. Should she go to bed or wait up for him? It was ages since Noel had stayed out so late. And after last Christmas, when she’d
made the mistake of confronting him about his late nights in the pub and been given short shrift, Cat was reluctant to give him a hard time. But really she was furious. Why was it okay for him to go out and have a drink with his mates, without a thought for her or the family, when Cat getting out for the evening involved military-style precision planning? And invariably, if she had managed to organise a night out, Noel would always swan in late, as if to make a point about her abandoning her duties for the evening. Long-held resentments bubbled under the surface. This was no good. She was feeling so cross now they’d be bound to have a huge row when he did get home.

Cat finished her drink, washed her glass up, and made her way up to bed. She was halfway up the stairs, when she heard Noel fumbling with the key in the lock.

She went down to open the front door.

‘There’s no need to wait up for me, you know.’ Noel’s tone was belligerent.

‘I wasn’t,’ said Cat, trying not to rise to it. ‘I was on my way to bed.’

‘Oh.’ Noel swayed in the hall. ‘What time is it?’

‘Late,’ said Cat. ‘You could have rung me.’

‘I did,’ said Noel. ‘Your phone was switched off.’

‘That was earlier,’said Cat.‘Where the hell have you been?’

‘Well, that’s bloody nice,’ said Noel. ‘How about a kiss when I come through the door?’

‘Noel, it’s nearly 1 am, I’m really knackered, you’re really drunk. I think it’s time for bed.’

‘Good idea.’

‘No,’ said Cat. ‘I meant bed as in sleep.’

‘Sleep? Sleep?’ Noel said. ‘How can you talk about going to sleep?’

‘Quite easily,’ said Cat, turning back up the stairs. ‘I’m going to bed, you can do what you like.’

‘Oh, that’s right, walk away,’ Noel spat out with sudden venom, and Cat turned and stared at him in fury.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ she said.

‘You, you’re not even interested in me anymore,’ said Noel.

‘That’s not true,’ protested Cat.

‘When was the last time we had sex, then?’ said Noel.

‘I don’t know,’ said Cat, ‘the other week, probably.’

‘Two weeks ago,’ said Noel. ‘That’s when it was.’

Cat had had enough. ‘Are you keeping some kind of record?’she said incredulously.‘For heaven’s sake,Noel, just grow up, will you?’

She was shouting now, much louder than she intended. But really, he was the sodding limit.

‘You just don’t fancy me anymore, do you? Why don’t you say it?’ Noel had gone from angry to bitter in a heartbeat.

‘Where the hell did that come from?’ asked Cat in exasperation. ‘There’s no point talking to you when you’re like this. I’m going to bed.’

‘Well it’s true,’ shouted Noel after her.

‘Oh, save it,’ said Cat, storming back upstairs. She was damned if she was going to sleep with him tonight. He could spend the night in the spare room.

‘Can you two keep it down?’ Mel appeared, yawning sleepily on the stairs.

‘Sorry,’ said Cat. ‘Dad and I were just going to bed.’

She went into her bedroom and turned on the light. What was wrong with Noel? Why did he insist on behaving so badly? They had never really talked over what had happened at Christmas, and now here they were again, back in the same mess as before. What on earth was going to happen to them?

Marianne sat in a crowded pub with her oldest school friends, Lisa and Carly, whom she’d met to swap stories about old times and catch up on the new. The trouble was, after a perfunctory conversation about what had gone wrong in Marianne’s love life, Lisa and Carly seemed utterly uninterested in anything else she had to say now she no longer had a rich boyfriend. Neither of them was exactly the country type and they couldn’t understand why Marianne was still holed up in ‘the back of beyond’, as Lisa put it. In fact, when Marianne thought about it, they’d never been very interested in her really. Lisa with her big City job and succession of fund-manager boyfriends had always been dismissive of Marianne’s life choices. ‘What do you want to teach for?’ she’d gasped in horror. ‘Everyone knows teachers are poor.’ Carly’s job as a gossip girl about town was enough to keep her firmly wedded to the bright lights,big city.‘While there are parties to crash and drinks to blag, I’m your woman,’ she was fond of saying. She, too, had barely asked about Marianne’s life in Hope Christmas.

‘I helped deliver a lamb, you know,’ Marianne butted in on one of Lisa’s interminable stories about what the recession was going to mean for her. (If you hadn’t racked up so much debt on your three credit cards it mightn’t be such a disaster, Marianne felt like cattily saying.)

‘What on earth for?’ Lisa looked incredulous. ‘That sounds disgusting.’

‘It wasn’t,’ said Marianne. ‘It was rather wonderful actually. I met a friend of mine when I was out walking. He needed help with one of his ewes, and so I helped deliver the baby. Well, it was two babies, but one of them died.’

‘You know a
shepherd
?’ Carly broke off into peals of laughter.

‘I bet he’s called Gabriel,’ said Lisa. ‘Remember how we
all fancied Gabriel Oak when we saw
Far from the Madding Crowd
at school?’

‘He is actually,’ said Marianne, to hoots of laughter from her friends. ‘Well, not a shepherd, but he does farm sheep.’

‘Marianne, you never cease to amaze me,’ said Carly. ‘You’ll be going all native on us next.’

‘What’s wrong with that?’ said Marianne. ‘Gabriel’s nice. Living in the country’s nice. I like it.’

‘Don’t you miss the town at all?’ Lisa was utterly incredulous.

‘Not much,’ admitted Marianne. ‘If anything, there I feel like I’ve come home.’

And, with a jolt, she realised it was true. Despite everything that had happened with Luke, she felt more at home in Hope Christmas than she’d ever felt anywhere in her life before. Marianne was overcome with an overwhelming rush of homesickness. Suddenly, she couldn’t wait to go back.

Even though she’d hardly known Pippa any time at all, she’d been more of a friend to Marianne than these two had ever been. She might have spent her whole life in London and never realised what life was all about. Pippa had rung her to say that there was some traditional village football match going on on Monday. Her parents were flying out on holiday early on Sunday morning. Carly and Lisa had a host of wild parties to go to, to which she was invited, but where she knew she wouldn’t feel welcome. What on earth was keeping her here?

Making her excuses, Marianne got up and left. Lisa and Carly made token noises about wishing she didn’t have to go so soon but, as she left them gossiping over a drink and busily texting friends to find out where to go next, Marianne ruefully realised that they wouldn’t really miss her any more than she’d miss them. Somehow, she’d clung onto these two
friends from her past long beyond a point at which they really had much in common. It was time to live her life in the way she wanted to. A picture of Gabriel swam suddenly before her eyes. Pippa said he was likely to be taking part in this football match, which, if she was honest, was even more of a reason to go. It had been nice to see her family, but it was time to go back to where her heart now belonged.

Noel woke up with the light streaming in through the open curtain. His head was pounding and his mouth was dry. What was he doing in the spare room? He lifted his head up. Bad idea. The room lurched in a rather alarming fashion and he had a sudden awful thought that he might be sick. Crikey. It was a long time since he’d had a hangover that bad. The events of the previous day came flooding back to him. He’d had a paycut. Had he told Cat he’d had a paycut? Somehow he didn’t think so. It didn’t matter that it was something that happened to thousands of other people every day. It didn’t matter that, as Gerry had told him in that hearty-fellow kind of way, it wasn’t ‘personal’. He, Noel Tinsall, had been utterly humiliated in the workplace. And at a time when he was feeling that his world was contracting, and there were fewer opportunities for him.Waves of self-pity and guilt swept over Noel. He didn’t know where they were coming from, he just felt utterly locked in his misery. What would a woman as beautiful, intelligent and attractive as Cat want with someone as worthless as him? He couldn’t blame her for hating him. He’d been an utter sod to her last night. His guilt about what had happened with Julie had made sure of that. God, he was making a mess of things. He was beginning to feel he had less and less to offer Cat. How would she react to the news of his paycut?

Suddenly Noel couldn’t face the humiliation of telling
her. From the very first moment he’d seen her standing at the bar in their student hall of residence, Noel had been swept away by her beauty and vivaciousness. Over the years neither had been dimmed, but how did she really feel about him these days? Noel sometimes detected a look of exasperation in her eyes, which never used to be there. Was she losing interest in him? And if she was, how would the news that her previously successful husband was heading for the scrap heap go down?

No, he wouldn’t tell her, Noel decided. What Cat didn’t know couldn’t hurt her after all. And, by the time the eco town project was finished, maybe he’d have found himself something else or, who knows, he might even get that elusive bonus Gerry had promised him.

The door opened and a frosty-looking Cat came in with a cup of tea.

‘You are still planning to come out with us for the day, I take it?’ she asked. ‘Ten minutes and counting.’

Noel raised a smile he didn’t feel. What he wanted to do was crawl back into bed and stay there for a very long time, but he’d promised the kids. He felt enough of a heel as it was. He couldn’t let them down too.

‘Be with you in five,’ he said, trying a feeble smile.

‘You’d better be,’ said Cat, thawing a little.

‘And sorry,’ he added, ‘about last night. Being so late and everything.’

‘It’s okay,’ she said. ‘Well, it’s not okay, but I don’t want it ruining today. Agreed?’

‘Agreed,’ said Noel. He felt relieved, as if he’d been given a reprieve. But for how long?

‘Daddy, can I ring Granny Smith?’ Stephen was bouncing on Gabriel’s bed on Easter Sunday morning. ‘I want to wish her Happy Easter.’

‘Yes, of course.’ Gabriel always questioned the wisdom of allowing his son to ring his maternal grandmother. If she knew where her daughter was she never divulged it, and in her strangely dotty way seemed to think that somehow it was Stephen and Gabriel who had caused Eve’s problems, whereas, in fact, Gabriel could see now they had started long before Gabriel had ever met Eve.

‘Guilt, that’s what it is,’ had been Pippa’s assertion. ‘She knows she cocked Eve’s life up, but it’s easier to blame you.’

But Gabriel couldn’t find it in his heart to condemn his mother-in-law. Whether it really was Joan’s fault for abandoning Eve with her own mother every time a suitable new lover came along that had caused Eve to be so needy and fragile, he couldn’t say. What he did know was that Joan had suffered for it nearly as much as he had.

‘Granny, Granny, the Easter Bunny brought me three Easter eggs,’ Stephen was bouncing up and down on the bed, a bit bunnylike himself. How much chocolate had he already had? Gabriel had placed a chocolate embargo till after breakfast, but realised he had probably lost that battle already.

‘We’re going to church and the vicar said we’ll have an Easter Egg hunt.’ Stephen was explaining the day’s events to his grandmother.‘And then we’re going toAuntie Pippa’s. Can you come and see us soon?’

Gabriel’s heart sank. Stephen always asked this. And the answer was always a negative. But this time his son’s face lit up. ‘You can? That’s brilliant!’

Oh. That was unexpected. But what followed was even more so.

‘Who’s there?’ Stephen suddenly demanded. ‘Who wants to talk to me?’

The look of expectation on his face suddenly turned to fury.

‘Well, I don’t want to talk to her!’ He flung the phone on the bed, and ran out of the room crying.

‘Stephen?’ Gabriel looked at his son helplessly, then picked up the phone. ‘Joan, what on earth is going on?’

‘Is Stephen still there?’ she asked.‘Only I’ve got his mother here, and she wants to speak to him.’

Gabriel stood in the bedroom, cradling the phone in shock.

‘Eve’s there?’ He couldn’t believe it. All these months with no contact, and suddenly here she was at her mother’s. ‘I thought you didn’t know where she was?’

‘I didn’t,’ said Joan. ‘She turned up out of the blue last night.’

‘Can I speak to her?’ Gabriel asked, and then wished he hadn’t. What was he going to say to Eve? How could he speak to her and not let rip the fury that had been building in him all these months since she’d gone? It was only now he was here, an inch away from having a conversation with his absent wife, having seen the devastating effect she was still having on his son, that he realised just how very angry he was. Maybe now wasn’t a good time to speak.

‘I’m sorry,’ said Joan, ‘she doesn’t want to speak to you.’

‘Oh.’ Fury turned to disappointment. How was it that Eve could churn him up so much, and make him feel so very confused, and yet still a part of his heart reached out to her, still he wanted to make things right between them? Would he never learn?

‘And Stephen doesn’t want to speak to her,’ said Gabriel. He wasn’t entirely sure that this was true. Stephen was in shock and had certainly reacted in childish anger, but Gabriel knew how often his son had sobbed into his
pillow at night. Despite everything, he loved Eve. Gabriel suppressed a momentary feeling of unease—did he have the right to stop his son speaking to his mother? But then he thought about what she’d put them both through and anger hardened his heart once more.

‘I see,’ said Joan. ‘And that’s nothing to do with anything you’ve said to him, I suppose?’

‘It has everything to do with the fact his mother is a flaky depressive who wouldn’t understand commitment if it hit her over the head,’ retorted Gabriel, his irritation at Joan’s jibe reigniting his fury. ‘I have done my very best not to badmouth Eve to Stephen. She’s done all that herself.’

‘She’s very sick,’ said Joan.

‘I know, I know,’ said Gabriel, familiar guilt piercing the anger. ‘But I can’t help her if she won’t help herself. And she can’t expect to just walk back into Stephen’s life like this. Tell her to stay away. For both of our sakes.’

He put the phone down and walked down the corridor to Stephen’s room to find him lying on his bed, sobbing his heart out.

‘Was Mummy really there?’ Stephen asked. ‘Will she hate me for not speaking to her?’

Gabriel looked at his son and, unable to bear the look in his eyes, for the first time in his life, he lied to his son. ‘No, sweetheart, Granny was mistaken. Mummy’s gone away and she won’t be back for a very long time. But I’m here, aren’t I? And I think we’ve got an Easter Egg hunt with your cousins.’

Stephen smiled through his tears and reached out his hand to Gabriel, who closed his own over his son’s tiny one, then held him in a fierce tight embrace.

‘It’s you and me now, Stephen,’ he said. ‘You and me, against the world.’

‘You’re early.’ Cat’s mum greeted them as they came through the front door of the Georgian house in which she’d brought Cat up single-handedly, once Cat’s feckless father had left. Nothing much had changed for years. The grandfather clock, inherited from Mum’s grandmother, still took pride of place in the hall, the shabby comfy furniture from Cat’s childhood still retained its spot in the chintzy lounge, last redecorated circa 1990—‘I don’t care what other people think,
I
like it,’ was her mother’s response to Cat’s frequent pleas to get her to redecorate—and the oak-panelled kitchen, all the rage in 1988, retained its peculiar charm because it was Mum’s. Cat had learnt to cook here, on the Aga that stood in the corner. She’d invited friends back for coffee, had sat up having illicit late-night drinks with Noel when they were courting. Cat knew every nook and cranny of this kitchen, every one holding a memory precious to her alone. Despite having long since made a nest of her own, Mum’s house would always feel like home to Cat.

‘Sorry, Mum,’ said Cat, looking at her watch, which proclaimed the time to be 12.30, ‘but you did say midday. I thought we were late as usual.’

‘Oh,’ her mother frowned. ‘I must be going mad, I could have sworn I said 1pm.’

‘We can go away if you want and come back later,’ joshed Noel, giving his mother-in-law a kiss. The children all piled in behind him, squabbling about who was going to get Granny Dreamboat’s attention first.

‘Now now, enough of that, Noel, I’m sure I can cope,’ said Mum. ‘Cat, if you could be an angel and just put the kettle on?’

‘Mind if I’m terribly anti-social and go and watch the Grand Prix?’ Noel asked.

‘Get away with you,’ said Mum. ‘You’ve been using my
house like a hotel since you first met Cat. Why change the habit of a lifetime?’

Noel laughed and went into the lounge with the children, who made themselves at home, as usual finding the various games and books their granny had thoughtfully got out for them. Cat relaxed visibly. Noel had been like a bear with a sore head all weekend and wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. After the events of Christmas Day, she’d been nervous about coming here. But, she reminded herself,
your
mum doesn’t wind him up like his does.

‘Anything I can do?’ said Cat, as she sorted out cups and a teapot, her mother never letting her get away with anything as uncouth as teabags and mugs. She knew the answer would be no—her mother was so capable in the kitchen, Cat barely got a look in. It was quite remarkable she’d ever learnt to cook in the first place.

‘You could chop the carrots, if you like,’ said her mother. ‘I haven’t quite got there yet.’

‘What, the greatest cook in the history of the universe has got behind?’ Cat teased. ‘I don’t believe it. First you’ve forgotten how to make pastry, now this. You’ll forget your own head next!’

‘That is a ridiculous thing to say!’ Mum snapped. Cat was completely taken aback.

‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘I was only joking.’

‘Well,don’t,’said Mum tetchily.‘You seem to forget sometimes how old I am.’

‘Only because you do,’ laughed Cat, trying to lighten the tone. It was unlike her mother to be so stressed.

‘All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t be surprised if occasionally I can’t quite do everything I used to be able to do,’ said Mum. She looked rather wistful as she said this, and Cat had a sudden surge of panic. She did take her mother for granted, perhaps it was time she took care of
her
a bit more.

‘I’m sorry, Mum,’ she said. ‘I didn’t mean to be thoughtless. It’s just you’re always so capable and in control it never occurs to me that you can’t do anything.’

‘Who said anything about can’t?’ said Mum. ‘I’m not in my dotage yet.’

‘I—never mind,’ said Cat, turning away. Sometimes you couldn’t do right for saying wrong.

‘That was lovely,’ said Noel appreciatively, as he passed over his empty plate later. It was so restful at his mother-in-law’s, and a relief to get away from the tension he’d been feeling all weekend at home—tension, he didn’t have to remind himself, caused by his appalling guilt at his own selfish behaviour on Thursday night.

Louise beamed at him with gratitude.

‘I’m so glad you enjoyed it,’she said.‘I have so few people to cook for these days, it’s a real treat to cook for you all. Though it’s unlike the children to leave things on their plate.’

‘The children have rather overindulged on chocolate,’ said Cat guiltily. ‘Sorry about that.’

‘Which is why I didn’t buy them any,’ said her mother. ‘I have devised a Treasure Hunt in the garden, though.’

‘Treasure Hunt! Yay! Treasure Hunt!’ James and Paige practically leapt from the table, Granny Dreamboat’s Easter Treasure Hunt being the highlight of Easter Sunday as far as they were concerned. Ruby had only vague recollections from last year, and was sucking her thumb looking bored, while Mel was trying very hard to pretend that she was far too superior to let herself get carried away with anything so feeble. However, once in the garden, where, following weeks of rain, the spring sunshine was finally forcing its way out, she whooped and hollered with the rest of them.

‘Is this all I get?’ James came marching up to Cat looking
thunderous. Normally Granny Dreamboat was scrupulous in providing prizes that were suitable for her grandchildren, but even Noel could see that he was far too old for the Thomas the Tank Engine he’d found with his name on. Even Ruby would probably consider herself too old for that.

‘Shh,’ said Cat. ‘Don’t be rude. Granny’s gone to a great deal of trouble for you.’

James looked mutinous and was soon joined by Paige, who didn’t seem too impressed by her Barbie either.‘Doesn’t Granny know I hate Barbie?’ she whined, and Mel, who clearly thought that she was much too grown up for the Polly Pocket set that seemed to be hers, at least had the grace not to moan about it in front of her grandmother. Only Ruby seemed to be satisfied with her wooden pull-along duck.

‘Oh dear.’ Louise looked really put out. ‘I seem to have muddled up their ages. How did I manage that?’

‘It doesn’t matter,’ said Cat. ‘It’s easily done, we’re always doing it, aren’t we, Noel?’

Noel was staring into space trying not to think about Thursday night. Cat dug him in the ribs and he said, ‘Oh, yes, all the time.’ He was fond of his mother-in-law and didn’t like to see her upset.

‘Look, let me give them some money and they can get something more suitable each.’ Granny Dreamboat thrust some money into Noel’s hands.

‘Don’t be daft,’ he said, ‘it’s good for the kids to learn disappointment once in a while. It’s good for their souls.’

‘Is it?’ muttered Mel. ‘Gee, thanks, Dad.’

‘Yes, it is,’ said Noel firmly. ‘But, as I am such a nice, kind, wonderful father, if you all go and hide in the lounge for five minutes, I might just be able to arrange another Treasure Hunt.’

‘Dad, you’re the best!’ Paige threw her arms around his neck and Cat gave him a grateful look.

‘Yup, the best,’ said Noel, feeling like a fraud. ‘That’s me.’

‘Welcome back.’ Pippa hugged Marianne and ushered her into her home. ‘Have you had anything to eat? I’m just doing brunch for the sportsmen. You can be the first to try out my special new herby sausages.’

Marianne let herself feel overcome with the warmth and generosity of her friend.

‘Oh, it is so good to be back!’ she said. ‘I love my parents dearly, but they were driving me insane.’

Pippa dragged her into the kitchen where Dan was frying sausages for what appeared to be half the men in the village. Marianne had a surreptitious look to see if Gabriel was amongst them and felt a surge of disappointment when she saw he wasn’t.

‘I thought you said Gabriel was taking part in this great event?’ she asked in as casual a tone as she could muster.

‘Gabriel? I tried my best,’ snorted Pippa. ‘He was persuaded to take part last year, but then Dan accidentally sat on his head. The Monday Muddle isn’t his cup of tea. I’ve been trying very hard to make him change his mind, but I fear I’m wasting my time.’

‘Oi, who are you maligning?’ Gabriel came strolling in just then, holding Stephen’s hand. ‘I’ve decided to give it another go this year.’

Marianne’s heart lurched, and she looked up to see Gabriel bearing down on her, his dark hair swept off his face, and his cheerful smile brightening his handsome face. Oh, it was good to see him too. She hadn’t realised how much she’d valued seeing him around until she’d been parted from him for a while.

‘Well, I’ll be cheering for you,’ said Marianne, with a
smile. God, she hoped it wasn’t a girlish smile. Or that Gabriel wouldn’t notice how hot and bothered she had suddenly become.

Gabriel smiled back, his whole face lighting up. He was gorgeous. She’d somehow failed to notice before—he was always so serious and intent, but when he smiled he was utterly
gorgeous.

‘Well, that makes two of you,’ he said. ‘Half-pint here is my other supporter.’

‘Go, Daddy,’ said Stephen solemnly, waving a flag he’d clearly made.

‘Surely you’ve got more than that?’

‘You haven’t seen how bad I am at this,’ said Gabriel.

‘He is truly truly awful,’ said Pippa. ‘I, on the other hand, am married to the Monday Muddle King, so be warned. This game gets really dirty!’

‘Right,’ said Marianne. ‘Crikey, they don’t have anything like this in Cricklewood.’

‘Well, you’re in the country now, aren’t you, my dear?’ said Pippa, exaggerating her Shropshire burr.‘It’s all differen’ here, don’t you know?’

Marianne laughed and gladly accepted the sausage bap that Dan shoved in her hand. She was starving.

‘I think,’ she said, to no one in particular, ‘I’m going to enjoy this.’

‘I’m not,’ said Gabriel with feeling.

‘You’ve only yourself to blame,’ Marianne teased him. She leant back on the kitchen worktop: despite her sudden hormonal rush, she felt at ease and relaxed around Gabriel, he was such good company.

‘I’m doing it for him,’ Gabriel nodded at Stephen, who was in animated discussion with his cousins. ‘He was so keen for me to enter this year. And he’s had enough upset. I thought I owed it to him to give it a go.’

‘No word from his mum still?’ Marianne remembered how forlorn Stephen had looked on Mother’s Day at church.

Gabriel looked awkward.

‘Turns out she’s staying with my mother-in-law. Stephen rang his granny yesterday, and Eve wanted to speak to him.’

‘What did Stephen do?’ Marianne asked, as a sudden cold shockwave hit her. Did this mean Eve was coming back?

‘Ran off crying,’said Gabriel miserably.‘He said he didn’t want to know her. He seemed so upset—I think I may have done something rather stupid. I have to tell someone or I’ll burst.’

‘What did you do? It can’t be that bad,’ encouraged Marianne.

‘I think it probably can,’ said Gabriel, ‘I lied to Stephen and said Eve wasn’t there. I was so cross with her for hurting him. At the time it seemed the right thing to do. But now. Now I wonder.’

Marianne looked across at Stephen who was now playing happily with his cousins in the garden.

‘I’m sure it was the right thing. Anyone can tell you’re a great dad,’ she said. She thought back to the cruel way Luke had ditched her. Would she rather he’d carried on lying to her? On some days, indubitably yes. ‘And sometimes, well, sometimes the truth hurts too much. Sometimes it’s better not to know.’