Last Days of Summer (21 page)

W
ASHINGTON
, February 19. President Roosevelt today signed into law Executive Order 9066, authorizing the military to designate strategic areas from which any and all persons may be excluded in order to maintain national security. The move was prompted by the widely felt belief that many of the 110,000 Japanese-Americans living on the West Coast are engaged in sabotage and other fifth column activities designed to weaken the nation's defenses against Imperial Japan. Although no actual or overt acts of espionage have yet been uncovered, California Attorney General Earl Warren stated, “The absence of any domestic sabotage shows just how devious their plotting really is, and provides almost certain proof of their guilt.”

It is expected that all Americans of Japanese descent now residing in the coastal areas of California. Oregon and Washington will be required to move inland for the duration of the war. At present, there are no plans to evacuate the area forcibly or intern U.S. Japs in detention camps—although Gen. John L. DeWitt has indicated that the only way to protect American citizens against the Yellow Peril is to “lock them up and throw away the

TOP SECRET

The Green Hornet

C/O Craig Nakamura

Baywater Hotel

1756 Ocean Avenue

Santa Monica, California

Dear Hornet,

Guess what? The
Normandie
caught fire and burned up while it was still tied to the harbor, and nobody knows how it happened yet but they think it was spies. By the time Charlie and I got there it was lying on its side with steam still coming out of it, and the stacks were so big they almost reached the George Washington Bridge. Smokes, it was keen! The only clue I found was a wooden leg on the dock that had gunpowder on the foot. And you know what
that
means. Let's not tell anybody though. We're in enough hot water with her already.

Me and Stuke had a Bachelor's Party for Charlie last night at the Metropolitan Club even though they made me go home before the naked girl got there. (Her name was Darla and she called me honey after they found me hiding in the closet.) There was
an open bar but they only let me drink Coca Cola and water until I remembered that vodka looks just like water too. (It also makes you puke a lot faster than Slow Gin Fizzes, but I didn't know that yet.) The only bad part was that Mel Ott brought Leo Durocher with him, who I've maybe swapped two words with in my whole life and both of them were fuck you. But Charlie said that if he could stomach FDR for 3 hours then I could handle shooting the breeze with Durocher for crying out loud. So I got you his autograph. It says “To My Best Friend Craig” and I had to spell “friend” for him. I
told
you he was a dope.

One other thing. Since Rachel started trading her peach cobbler for my peas, I figured it was time for “Love Hate Marriage Friendship.” But look what happens.

FRIENDSHIP

HATE

If I use my middle initial I can get to “Love” and “Marriage” but only if I don't count the period, and that isn't allowed. And if I use my whole middle name, then I have to use hers too and it goes right back to “Friendship” and “Hate”. Help me cheat.

Charlie's getting married tomorrow morning and he's not supposed to see Hazel before then. So it's my job to keep him from chickening out tonight. This afternoon he ate a hot dog and threw up, and then he did the same thing at dinner from a cheese blintz. I asked him if girls are scarier than the Phillies and he said yes.

The Shadow

Man About Town

by Winchell

Banks and MacKay—Double Play!

Loose lips sink ships, but the lid's been blown off the military's hottest secret since Mata Hari batted those luscious lashes and stole France. Private Charlie Banks, the former muscle behind the New York Giants who's now playing ball with Uncle Sam, surrendered his post to curvy charmer Hazel MacKay with a hush-hush ceremony in Brooklyn yesterday. And it only took him two years to pop the question. Who'd'a thunk it? So what happened, Charlie? Finally get over those cold feet? Guess after this the Japs'll be a breeze.

Dear Winchell,

Like you would know. Why aren't you in the Army you deadbeat?

Chas. Banks
USMC

I
NTERVIEWER:
Donald M. Weston, Ph.D.

S
UBJECT:
Joseph Charles Margolis

Q:
I never saw anybody shake so much in my life.

A:
Smokes, I was nervous. What if I dropped the rings?

Q:
You did.

A:
Only Charlie's. I got more sweat on his than Stuke got on Hazel's so it slid easier.

Q:
What did you whisper to him when he forgot the vows?

A:
“Japheth.” It was a private joke. That's how come Rabbi Lieberman started coughing. He was the only one who got it except for me and Charlie.

Q:
You know, I've told three people that I met Charlie Banks and Hazel MacKay but nobody believes me.

A:
Now you know how it feels.

Q:
And why were you so worried about Aunt Carrie? She was a champ.

A:
You weren't looking at her when the minister said “To live is Christ.” If she'd squeezed her hands any harder she would have broken her fingers.

Q:
She certainly fed him well enough.

A:
No, she didn't. He got the smallest matzoh ball and no lox. Charlie bet me 25 cents that she was going to make him eat in the bathroom.

Q:
By the way. Why didn't you try to sneak on the honeymoon? I thought for sure you'd take a stab at it.

A:
I did. But they were wise to me. Before the train left for Niagara Falls they checked all the cabinets. I need to come up with a couple new tricks.

Q:
That shouldn't be tough for an old pro like you.

A:
Then how do I keep him from going to Camp Pendleton tomorrow?

Q:
You don't.

A:
How come? I got him to take me on a road trip, didn't I?

Q:
This is different.

A:
Yeah. I know.

Q:
Joey, do you remember when he stood up for you at your Bar Mitzvah?

A:
Smokes, like I wouldn't?

Q:
Well, now it's your turn to do the same for him.

A:
You don't think he'll forget about me, do you?

Q:
Joey,
nobody
could forget about you. Especially Charlie.

A:
Maybe I better make sure. Just in case.

OPEN THIS ON THE TRAIN

Dear Charlie,

In case you don't remember, this is my Check List from that first game in Boston when I didn't even know how many sons Noah had for Pete's sake. I guess it isn't much of a going-away present but there are two reasons for it. First of all, if you put it inside your helmet before the fighting starts, maybe you can pull it out between bullets and it will make you laugh. And second of all, it will remind you of the brawl with the Bees when I kept Paul Waner from poking you in the nose. (If I hadn't saved your ass he would have knocked your head off.)

Your buddy and
your best man,
Joey

P.S. So far Tommy Henrich hit three home runs in spring training and Mickey Owen didn't hit any. Also Bill Terry is gone so they asked Mel Ott to manage the Giants and play third base at the same time. Aunt Carrie really let him have it because she thought they were punishing him or something. She said “So next you're selling peanuts too? Why don't you put your foot down?” I don't think she gets it yet.

Dear Joey,

You have got something up your sleave and it must be big on account of I can't figure out what it is. We just crossed the boarder into Arkansaw and I already have lost $41 in poker to Stuke and Shiloh and Marantz and Sgt. Block due to wondering when your going to pop out of a duffle bag or get dropped from an airplane onto our caboose or mail yourself to Camp Pendleton in a cardboard box with holes in it. I knew something was fishy at the Pennsylvania Station when I had half of the USMC stationed in every door to make sure you would not dress up like a foot locker or etc. and smuggle yourself onto the train. That took alot of work—and you did not even try. And what about when we left? Hazel cried. Your Mom cried. Even Aunt Carrie cried for Christ's sake. And then there is you. “Take care of yourself buddy.” Oh yeah. And the hand shake. That's
it
? Aren't you even going to miss me??? I thought you would of at least turned up with a couple of diseases and a fake letter from your doctor saying you would croak unless I stayed. Whatever happened to hiding out on troop transports and showing up on Guam with me and enlisting with phony papers so we could ship out together and all the rest of those things I said I would kick your butt for if you even tried them? What are you—too old for that now? Well if this is your idea of growing up, forget that I told you to be a man. I don't think your ready for it yet.

I guess I am blowing off steam and it probably should not be at you. So I'm sorry. But these are
things you think about when you find out that Corregidor and the Phillipines are almost gone and you ask yourself “What in Hell did I get myself into?”

Charlie

P.S. Thanks for the up-date on T. Henrich. Make sure you tell me when his birthday is too so I can send him a greeting card.

P.S.2. There are 800 of us on this train and only one chow car. We had to start lining up for breakfast at 6:30 in the A.M. but by the time I finally got there they were calling it lunch. SABUS. (Screwed Again By Uncle Sam.)

P.S.3. Sgt. Block got assigned to our unit after the shmuck we had on Parris Island blew out all the vains in his throat and got sent back to his fish market in Baltimore. When we found out about it at Roll Call I said to the man next to me (who I never saw before) “I wonder who our new Asshole will be” and he said back “Me.” But he does not look like a sargent, he looks normal. And he did not gig me for calling him an asshole ahead of time either.