Last First Kiss (10 page)

“They shouldn’t be afraid to talk about their dad,” Bill seethed. “They should be talking about him so they can remember him without mourning. Giselle has to face this.”

“We can’t do anything, Uncle Bill. They’re her girls.”

Bill sighed, agreeing to disagree for the moment. They sat in the shade of the back patio and talked quietly until it was time to wake the girls. Mac and Lexie woke up easily showing no sign that anything had happened earlier.

When the last game ended around five o’clock, Jackson and Bill packed up their truck to leave. Mac and Lexie ran to them for hugs.

“Are you going to come back and watch us play?” Lexie asked the men.

“We sure are,” Bill told her, tweaking her nose.

“You’ll see me tomorrow, sweet girl,” Jackson said, hugging Lexie tightly. “I have to do your mom’s yard work tomorrow, remember?”

Lexie’s eyes grew wide as she turned to her sister. “Mac, I get to see my Jackson two days in a row!” she said, releasing a squeal of delight.

Long after Jackson departed, the thought of Lexie’s comment brought a smile to his face. When Bill had caught him smiling and asked about it, he spoke one word. “Lex.” By the time he checked out his uncle, Bill wore the same ear to ear grin.

<><><>

The next morning, Jackson awoke to rain and disappointment that he wouldn’t get to see ‘his girls’ as he’d begun to think of them. When he called Giselle to tell her he wouldn’t make it because of the weather, she said it was fine, and hung up before he could ask to speak to either Mac or Lexie. He spent the day missing the children he’d grown so fond of and wishing he could do more for them.

By Tuesday afternoon, he was missing them so badly, wild horses couldn’t have kept him away from Mac’s game. He saw them again for Lexie’s game on Thursday. Giselle attended neither.

The next Saturday, Jackson arrived at Giselle’s around nine a.m., to the delight of both children. Before he even got out of his Avalanche, the two excited little girls ran out to greet him. He hoisted Lexie into the air and hugged Mac as she wrapped her arms around him.

“Are you two ready to get to work? Maybe if we get mom’s yard looking good it’ll make her feel better,” he said.

“Maybe she’ll want to come outside with us when we’re finished. We used to spend a lot of time on the patio with Momma and Daddy. We’d even eat out here,” Mac commented.

“I came by to see if she needed anything this morning. She’s up and dressed, and there’s coffee in the kitchen if you want some. Those two monkeys have been up since the crack of dawn waiting for you to show up.”

Jackson beamed at the two girls playing on the patio. “How’s Giselle?”

Carrie climbed into her Explorer. “Physically, she’s fine. Mentally...Well that’s an entirely different story,’ she whispered to him. “I thought she’d have pulled herself out of this by now.”

“It’s only been...”

“I know it’s only been three months, but those poor girls. The sadness in that house...,” she began, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. “It’s overwhelming, Jackson. I hope she snaps out of this soon, because her girls need their mother. They’re all hurting so badly right now.”

She started her truck and put it in drive. “Make sure she eats and see if you can get her outside for a little sunshine.”

“I’ll do my best,” he told her.

<><><>

By eleven o’clock, he was finished with the mowing and trimming. By eleven thirty, Giselle’s yard, porch, and patio were all in pristine condition, thanks to the hard work of Jackson and the girls.

Lexie wanted McDonald’s and Mac wanted pizza, so Jackson decided to compromise. “How about if we order pizza then get some chicken nuggets for Lex before we pick it up? What do you think your Mom will want to eat?”

The girls got quiet and looked at each other, before turning their gazes back to Jackson. “The only time mom eats is when Carrie makes her,” Mac told him.

Lexie turned her green gold eyes on him. “If Carrie’s not around, she won’t eat at all. She says she’s not hungry anymore.”

“Well, then, we may have to call Carrie in. I’d rather have your mom mad at me than Carrie.”

They entered the kitchen through the back door. When they walked inside, Giselle looked up from the crossword puzzle she was working.

Jackson picked up the phone. Mac pulled him down to her level and whispered something in his ear. He nodded and dialed the number, ordered one pizza with everything then watched Giselle’s face as he ordered the second. She didn’t even blink an eye as he asked for no jalapenos, a standard topping unless otherwise requested.

“Yes, it is!” Mackenzie agreed with her sister. “She knows we can’t eat those peppers because they’re too hot. We
always
ordered one with everything for daddy and one without peppers for us.”

Jackson gazed back at the two girls, not knowing quite what to tell them. They both looked so sad and dejected he wanted to cry for them. He started up his truck and backed slowly out of the driveway onto the street, driving slowly so they’d have time to talk. “Girls...Do you know what it means when someone is depressed?”

“I think it means they’re sad, right?” Mac answered.

“That’s right, but it’s more than that. It’s a sadness so bad that sometimes they can’t get back to their lives. Sometimes they don’t even realize they’re acting that way. Your mom is depressed about losing your dad.”

Jackson turned to look at the little girl. “Mackenzie, don’t ever think that and don’t say that again. Your mom loves you two more than anything, she just needs a little help right now. I think she needs to see a doctor.”

“You can go to a doctor for being sad?” Lexie asked him.

“You sure can. Just like if you were sick or had a pain in your foot. You could go to a doctor for help. It’s the same way with depression. A doctor could help her.

Both girls got quiet for a few moments and when Jackson checked out his rearview mirror, he saw that Lexie had her eyes squeezed tightly shut and her lips were moving in silent prayer. He looked over at Mackenzie’s head, also bowed in prayer. He smiled before sending his own prayer to the man above.

Jackson purchased what they needed to lay out the meal then went to McDonald’s and the Pizza parlor for their food. Once home, Mac and Jackson set the patio table while Lex filled cups with ice. After they had laid everything out on the table, the three of them went in to let Giselle know lunch was ready.

Giselle looked up at them from her same spot at the end of the sofa. “I’m not hungry.”

The girls looked disappointedly at Jackson, and he knew he couldn’t let it go without a fight. He walked over to Giselle and stood over her with his hand out. “Come on Giselle, you are not getting me in trouble with Carrie. I’m under strict orders to make sure you eat and get some sunshine, in that order. Besides, the girls went to a lot of effort to make sure it looks pretty for you.” He brushed off her protests. “No excuses now, take my arm.”

She glared up at him with angry eyes. “You’re not my boss here. Quit trying to make me do something I’m not ready to do.”

He looked over at the children who were staring at their mother as though she were a complete stranger. “Girls, go outside and wait for us, we’ll be there soon.” When they walked outside and closed the door behind them, he turned to Giselle.

“What the hell is up with you, Giselle? You’re not ready to share a meal with your children? You’re not ready to spend a few minutes with your daughters, who are also hurting because they’ve lost their father?”

She put her head down and he immediately felt guilty for upsetting her. “Come on...just a bite of pizza. It’ll do you good to get a little sun.” He felt encouraged as she pulled herself up off the sofa. He followed her to the door and opened it for Giselle, hoping she’d give her girls the reaction they needed.

Giselle barely noticed the table, beautifully set, with flowers they’d picked and tied together to form napkin rings. Giselle didn’t see the freshly picked flowers placed in a clear plastic cup they used as a centerpiece; and she didn’t notice that every place setting was set with forks and knives, arranged carefully next to the clear plastic dishware.

The only thing she noticed was Toby’s absence. It wasn’t Toby who had painstakingly mowed the lawn or carefully trimmed around the sidewalks, shrubs, and flower beds, then swept the sidewalk free of dust and grass clippings. She and Toby had always done the yard work together, rewarding themselves and the girls afterwards with a meal out on the patio. Sometimes they grilled it themselves, sometimes picked up something quick...like pizza or McDonald’s.

“How could you let him do this?” she asked them. Every sight, every smell, every sound, reminded her that Toby wasn’t there and never would be again. Her heart ached from the sudden reminder, and she nearly fell to her knees with the heavy burden of sadness she carried.

Jackson turned her roughly away from the girls, who both sat, looking heart-broken that their mother hadn’t appreciated their effort for what it was. He closed the door and shook her by her shoulders. “What the hell is wrong with you? Can’t you see what you’re doing to them?” He stared after her as she pushed away from him and walked to the room she had occupied since Toby’s death.

CHAPTER 7

Jackson stood helplessly in the hallway as he heard the heartbroken sobs coming from the other side of the door. Now he knew what Carrie meant about the overwhelming sadness in this house. It consumed everything in its path, like a dark shadow eating away at the light, the life that used to be present here. He felt the sting of frustration and helplessness knowing that Mac and Lexie could do nothing but watch their mother sink further into the abyss of loneliness and despair.

He squared his shoulders and walked outside to meet the two beautiful little girls who were sure to need comforting. He dropped into a chair between the two of them and sighed heavily, waiting for them to say or do something.

Lexie looked up at Jackson with tear-filled eyes. “Maybe God can’t hear me, Jackson. Maybe I need to pray louder.”

Mac wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and sniffed. “I think God’s too busy to help Momma.”

Jackson opened his arms wide and both girls went to him. He pulled them close and kissed the top of their sun-warmed heads, then their wet-with-tears cheeks. He hugged them both tightly, deeply inhaling the scent of hard work and sweat and sunshine on their skin, clothing, and hair. He finally spoke in a voice that cracked with emotion. “I love you, girls. Do you hear me? I love both of you so much, I can’t believe it. I love you enough for both your mom and dad, until your momma is feeling well enough to show you again. She still loves you both so much. She’s just too sad to show it right now, that’s all. But, I promise...I
promise
you...She will again.”