Last Heartbeat (11 page)

“I don’t really know. When I met her on the plane trip here, we just connected, and every time I am around her, I feel more and more connected to her. I just want to see what we have going on. I feel like she might be worth all the work I have to do for a relationship. Just to see how it goes.”

Jacob decides to jump into the conversation, “Man, you know you can’t give up on having all the girls you want. No girl is worth that. You are too young to be with one girl already. Play the field like you have been and test all the waters before you get too old to enjoy life. Look at Megan! She has been after you forever and I think she’d do anything to get a little piece of you.”

Why does Jacob have to think he knows it all? Sometimes he doesn’t seem to have a brain or feelings at all. One of these days they both will understand what I am feeling. They even think I am a player but I am not. That is something they have made up in their minds. “Jacob, why do you think I want to go out with someone like Megan? She only thinks about herself and she treats everybody badly. I believe the friends she does have only have her as a friend because of her partying and her money. They really can’t stand to be around her unless they are drunk. She isn’t worth the trouble to be with.”

“I didn’t say marry her,” Jacob defends. “Just go get some from her and go on to the next girl. You need to enjoy life and not settle down yet. You’re young still. And don’t forget, you can have any girl you want.”

“I don’t want any girl and I’m not like you either with being a man-slut. I am ready to see more of Alexia and see how it goes. Maybe there might be something that will last for a lifetime. I don’t know yet, or even if she will say yes, but I sure hope so.”

Tyler speaks up for me. “I think it is great. You have already found someone you might be interested in. Sometimes it is hard to find a good girl out there these days. I say if she is what you want, then go for it. Alexia seems like a really nice girl and she is very pretty. What she did last night to save Jacob’s butt was amazing. She has some guts to get between Jacob and James while he was angry at Jacob.”

“What did she do for me last night? I was so out of it that I can’t remember half of what when on,” Jacob says.

Tyler speaks before I get to. “Yeah, you were wasted last night. You were flirting with James’s girlfriend and he was going to beat you up for it. Alexia jumped in between you guys and stopped it by acting like she was with you and looking for you. All she had to do is bat her pretty blue eyes at James and he believed her. I know she was brave for doing that when he was angry. He was going to beat you up.”

“Well now she has my vote for being awesome, so I guess Phillip should go for it. If you two don’t work out, let me know and I will take her off your hands,” Jacob kids.

After he says that, I see red. Tyler notices that I am getting mad and stands up. He yells at Jacob. “Are you serious, man, or are you still drunk? Phillip will kick your butt out of here if you talk like that about his girl again! I wouldn’t blame him either! If I had a girl like her, I would kick your butt too. Straighten up and apologize to Phillip now.”

Jacob looks up, “Sorry man, I think, I am still a little bit drunk. I must have drunk way to much last night. I didn’t mean anything by what I said. If you like this girl, then go for it, and I wish you the best of luck. Maybe I am jealous you found such a beautiful girl.” He frowns and drops his gaze down at the table.

Maybe he is jealous
, I think. “It is okay for now Jacob, but don’t treat her bad. I like you, and you have been a great friend to me. Don’t make me feel bad for having feelings for a girl. I can’t explain it, but I believe she is the one. At least I hope so. Really, Jacob you know you shouldn’t be drinking like you have been. If you’re drunk still, you need to stop drinking so much. Don’t you care about your classes?”

“Darn it! I think I need to go now, Tyler. I believe I have a class soon.
Oh! No
! I can’t be late for this class again. If I am the professor will kick me out. Can you take me back to the dorm, now?” Jacob is starting to freak out.

“Yeah, man. I’ll take you back now, if you’re ready.” Tyler agrees.

“I’m ready now. Thanks, Phillip, for letting us crash and everything. Sorry I am so much trouble for you. You are right I need to cut back on the drinking and partying. See you later, man,” they both head out the door.

I am glad they are leaving, because when I look at the clock, I see that I have to hurry to get ready to leave so I can make it to my biology class. I head to the shower and take a quick one. Throwing on some clean jeans and a t-shirt, I am ready to go out the door.

As I get off the elevator, the security guy yells at me. I stop to see what he wants. He says that a girl wanted to go up to see you and I ask him who she was. He tells me her name is Megan, but she isn’t down on the list so he didn’t let her in. I told him not to ever let her in and then head out to my car. Now I needed to hurry to school.

As I am driving, I think more about Alexia. Maybe I shouldn’t pursue her. I have been okay for a long time since I had the surgery, but it was touch and go for a little while at first. The doctors had a hard time keeping me alive with my brother’s liver, and they had to try different medications to help my body to accept his liver, even though I was a perfect match for it.

I still hurt for my brother who died. I am grateful he signed his donor card on his license. When the accident happened, my parents were shocked by it too. They had no idea he’d done that because he never told anyone, but I am blessed by his last gift to me. Maybe he knew something was going to happen and that when it did he could save many lives by doing that simple thing.

Alexia should have a guy she could count on at all times. Not one who has to survive by taking medicine everyday to stay alive. I should at least tell her what could happen and let her decide if she wants me or just move on. This scares me just to think she might not choose me.

I finally get to the university and find a parking space. I get out of my car and as soon as I do, I hear someone calling my name. Why couldn’t it be Alexia calling for me and not Megan?

“Phillip, why have you been ignoring me? I even went to your condo building and that guy at the desk wouldn’t let me in. I would have loved to see your condo. I bet it has a perfect view. Come on, Phillip. Walk me to class. We need to go out and do something special together. I think we should go out on a date tonight. How about it, Phillip? Will you take me out tonight?’ She asks. Boy, she is persistent.

“No, Megan. I can’t take you out tonight. I have plans. No. I can’t walk you to class because I am seeing someone. No, you can’t come into my condo or building because that is against the rules. Please leave me alone. I don’t want to date you or spend time with you,” I explain hoping she will get the hint and leave me alone. Knowing I have to be hateful to her, but she asks the same thing over and over. I keep saying no. When will she learn?

She looks at me angrily. “Who are you seeing Phillip? Is it that girl Alexia that was with you at my party last night? I thought she was with your friend Jacob? I bet he won’t like you going behind his back and stealing his girl from him.”

She has some nerve to ask these questions. “It is none of you business who I am seeing, and you need to leave Alexia alone and not bother her. Jacob isn’t seeing her, so leave it alone now,” I angrily walk off, but she grabs my arm.

“You will be sorry you turned me down Phillip. I could give you everything. Now that you are being this way, I guess we will see who will be seeing whom. I will make your life and Alexia’s life miserable. Just wait and see.” Finally she leaves me.

I yell and tell her to leave us alone, but she keeps on walking. I am worried even more about Alexia now. First, the problem was my possibly getting sick on her, and now crazy Megan thinks she owns everyone around her. Megan better leave Alexia alone, that is for sure, or she might get a taste of her own medicine. I won’t stand for her picking on my girl.
My girl
, I like that saying. If only I knew what she would do, when I ask her how she feels about my possibly dying on her. I can’t think about this anymore. I am going to be late for class. I hurry to the classroom and barely make it in before class starts.

I know Alexia is looking at me and wondering what is wrong me. I can’t tell her now because I need to think some more about what I need to tell her. This day started out as the best day ever, and now look how it has gone down hill so fast.

Then I remember what Alexia was wearing when I came in. She didn’t notice me looking in the classroom before I came in, but I saw that she still is wearing my t-shirt. That made me stop a second and think that maybe she is going to say yes to me. What have I done to this girl? I need to focus on class and think a bit. I have to try to ignore her awhile.

Seeing her in my shirt is driving me crazy. How can I ignore her? I need to let her go, but I don’t think I can.
Just ignore her. Just ignore her. Just ignore her
, I think over and over all during class,
and maybe she will get mad and leave
. Then I won’t have to explain to her how I might destroy her life one day if she fell in love with me and I ended up dying on her.

This is harder than not wanting to be with someone because I feel so close to her already. I know I should just talk to her. I am so scared that she might up and leave me because of my weakness. I try to be strong around everyone, but I know I am on borrowed time that my brother gave me.

Class is almost over and I still don’t know what I am going to do. I haven’t even listened to the teacher and now I probably will have to ask Alexia what I have missed. I am going crazy over this woman and still don’t know why or what to do.

Chapter Fifteen

Alexia

This class is a waste of my time today. I haven’t paid attention one bit to the professor, and now Phillip is ignoring me. I will have to find someone else in class to tell me what I missed. I really don’t know what is up with him. He is like a different person. It is crazy.

The way he kissed me before I left made me weak in the knees and I wanted more of that with him. Maybe I am thinking about this too much, and maybe his mood isn’t about me. Maybe someone made him upset before class. Perhaps it was the friends who were still at his place when I left. Maybe they don’t think I am good enough for him.

I’m really not good enough for him. I am broken and just fixed for a little while. If we did get to together, I couldn’t even give him kids. I have to live by taking medicine everyday. Maybe his ignoring me is for the best. He needs a girl who could give him everything he needs. As soon as class is over, I make a beeline out the door. I am out the door in a flash and so glad to be free. A tear slips out one of my eyes. I quickly wipe it away and head out of the building. My goal is to go straight to my dorm and not come out until I get my head straight.

Just as I get out of the building, I almost run straight into Megan. I look up at her to tell her that I am sorry, but she asks, “Why are you in such a hurry and where are you going?”

“I was headed back to my dorm. I have homework to work on.” I tell her this big lie so I can get moving on. I don’t want to be out here when Phillip comes out of the building, and I know it will be soon but she keeps on talking.

“You should come hang out with my friends and me because we are going to the beach for a while,” she smiles.

“Sorry, I can’t. I have another class soon.” Trying to get away from her.

“Oh skip it and come to the beach. You’re so pale. You look like you need a week at the beach and then maybe and you might get a small amount of color. I know Phillip likes his girls tan” she hatefully tells me this. Now I know she is jealous of me because Phillip turned her down last night. Kristen warned me about her this morning.

I am now upset with her and her rude comments. “I really don’t care what you think or what Phillip thinks about me. If I go to the beach, it will be by myself. I don’t care to have a tan. I don’t need one. I will be me the way I want to be me and not for anyone else. So go and leave me alone.”

I try to get away, but she steps right front of me and stops me, “I bet Phillip was late to class today. He told me he had to go but couldn’t leave me. He kept me in his king-sized bed for way too long this morning after you left. He said all he wanted was to be with me, but you wouldn’t leave so I could come over sooner. Leave him alone so we can get on with our lives without you trying to get in the way.” She smirks her smile at me.

“You can have him. He is just my study partner,” I leave as fast as I can. I want this day to be over with.

How could I be so stupid to even think about saying yes to him? He said that everyone thought he was a player, but he also said that it wasn’t true. He must have been lying to me. The first time I open myself up and let someone in I get hurt. What a fool I have been. Never again I want to live my life and not have to worry about anyone else.

I get to my room and sit on my bed just to relax for a few minutes. I have another class soon. Having a minute to myself is wonderful. I hope Kristen doesn’t come back right now. I don’t want to talk to anyone.

I take my medicine. I almost forgot to take it. My mom would be unhappy if I forgot.

Before I know it, I wake up about an hour later.
Oh no!
If I don’t hurry and leave I will be late for class. I shouldn’t have fallen asleep, and now I will miss eating which isn’t good for me. I hurry to my class, and before I get there, I buy something from a vending machine. I arrive at the next building and have a few minutes to spare. After this class, I will head out somewhere to fine myself something extra good and I don’t care how many calories it has. I need comfort food.

Class goes by super fast and I am glad. I don’t go back to my room, heading straight to my car instead. I drive to my favorite burger place. A day like today, I need a good burger and maybe some fries too. I decide to get it to-go so I can head to the beach. I love it there, and a picnic on the beach is what I need. I always carry a book with me, so I can read, relax, and eat in peace.