Last Kiss (2 page)

We are silent as we calm down,
both a little shaky. David kisses the top of my head when I nestle against his shoulder. We fall asleep together, our bodies entwined.

I
dream about the first time he told me. It was January 8th, 2004. It’s kind of pathetic that I remember the date, but I do. With the way he’d been acting, the way he’d said “We need to talk after school,” I’d thought for sure that he was going to break up with me. We went back to his house and started fucking as usual, as we had been for the past few months, but as he moved back and forth on top of me, he slowed down. He stopped completely, resting inside me.

“
Alexa,” he said, his eyes looking almost mournful.

“Yes?”

“You’re wonderful.”

“No, you are
,” I replied. It sounds stupid, I know, but I didn’t care. I was over the moon about him. I guess I still am. David stayed still and hard as ever inside me, holding me right at the edge, holding me in his arms.

“
Alexa…”

“Yes?”

“I can’t wait any longer. I don’t care if it’s too soon. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

We wake up when the sun streams through my balcony doors. “Good morning,” he says as he squints for a moment, his eyes adjusting to the light. I am still snuggling against him, his arm around me. It’s like everything we always said we wanted. I imagine that my apartment is our apartment, that his old tabby cat will jump on the bed at any second, demanding attention.

“Good morning, sunshine,” I say. “Want some pancakes?”

“That’d be amazing.”

I throw on some clothes and get to work in the kitchen, making coffee and
adding pumpkin and chocolate chips to my favorite pancake recipe so they’ll come out extra delicious. I’m so domestic. We sit on my couch and start eating at the coffee table.

“
These pancakes are fantastic!”

“Thanks, David. I guess you always had to sneak out in the morning, so you’ve never experienced the five-star service,” I joke.

We talk about the past as we sop up the last of the maple syrup and sip our coffees, avoiding the elephant in the room. Elise. But then I look at the clock and realize that it’s getting late. It’s almost noon. As much as I want to ruin things for him, ruin things so I can try again, so we can try again, I won’t.

“What time are you supposed to meet Elise’s parents?” I ask.

“Oh, fuck. One o’clock.”

“
Yikes. How are you getting there?”

“I hadn’t really thought about it. Do you have a car?”

“No, but I can get one.”

The nearest Car2Go car is parked right outside my apartment building, and we grab it and start heading toward Silver Spring. I turn the
radio to DC101, and for once there’s a good song playing instead of their typical pop-rock trash. It’s almost like the old days, at least for a second.

We don’t really talk. What do you even say after something like this, after so long? David breaks the silence as we get closer, giving me directions to Elise’s parents’ house. I stop the car about a block away.

“You should probably get out here so nobody sees you with me.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
He unbuckles his seatbelt.

“
So, this is it.”

“So it is.”

We look at each other. I don’t know what to say, and there are no right words, so I just tell him, “Don’t worry, I’ll keep last night a secret.”

“I know. Thank you.”

He’s going to get out of the car and walk around the corner and I’ll never see him again. Elise will walk down the aisle, laugh, smile, cry, kiss him, have his children, build a life with him, and never know.

I’m not sure who starts it, but our lips meet in the middle of the car, sweetly this time, our mouths closed. His lips are soft and smooth and full, and I know this is our last kiss. Tears roll down my cheek, hitting the corner of my mouth, mixing salt with the taste of David, my first
, my favorite.

We pull apart sooner than I would l
ike, and he opens the car door. Before he steps out, he says the words that slay me.

“
It would be you if you had loved me enough then.”

##

Thanks for reading! I’d love your feedback. Please write a review if you enjoyed
Last
Kiss
(or if you didn’t, but preferably if you did). You can contact me on Twitter at @AlexaSinn.