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“I’ll
start getting my things ready.”

She looked at me again and then she got up and walked out of my room.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

“I’ve really enjoyed having you here,” my grandma said as I was packing up my things.  She was sitting on my bed and we’d spent the last half an hour talking about nothing really.  It was just nice to have her with me.  Of all the things I regretted about moving to Kansas, getting to know my grandma wasn’t one of them.

“Me too
, Grandma,” I said as I shoved a pair of jeans into my suitcase and then I turned to her.  She looked sad and I hated knowing I’d upset her. “I’m sorry I have to leave.

“Me too, honey,” she said but then reached over and touched my arm. “But, I understand why you have to go.  And that Alex seemed like such a nice boy,” she said
, shaking her head.

“Yeah, he did,” I said quietly as my stomach
got that sick feeling again. 

The doorbell rang then and my grandma and
I both looked at each other, wondering who it could be.

I heard my mom walk to the front door and I could hear muffled voices speaking back and forth, but I couldn’t tell who it was.  Then I heard footsteps coming up the stairs and a second later my mom stood in the doorway.

“Jesse’s here,” she said, her eyes focusing on the suitcase I knew she wished I’d unpack and I froze.  “Should I send him up?” she said somberly.

“No,” I told her quickly. “Don’t let him up here.
I don’t want him to know I’m leaving. I’ll go down and see him.”

I took a d
eep breath and then brushed by my mom.  Jesse was standing nervously near the front door when I got downstairs.  His lip was swollen and he had a cut above his eyebrow.  I hated knowing I was the reason he’d gotten them.

“Holly and Mandy looked everywhere for you at school,” he began anxiously before I could even get a word out.

“I wasn’t there,” I said sarcastically.

“Well, yeah, we
kinda figured that out,” he said, matching my tone and then we were quiet.

He looked at me and his face was covered in concern.  I knew I shouldn’t be snapping at him, especially a
fter what he’d done for me, but I couldn’t help it.  I didn’t want him giving me any reason to stay here.  I couldn’t let him change my mind. 

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly, looking around the room to make sure we were alone.  He stepped closer to me and gently touched my arm as he stared at me with his gray eyes. 

I tried to put on a brave face and nod, but I knew he’d read right through me.  Instead, I just shook my head silently.  He took my hand and led me outside where we could talk privately.  We each took a seat in one of the rocking chairs that my grandparents used to sit in. 

“So how bad was it? 
The fight.  I couldn’t watch,” I said, looking over to him, not knowing what else to say. 

“I didn’t come here to talk about that,” h
e said seriously.

“How
much trouble did you get in?”

“Two
weeks’ suspension.”

“And Alex?”

“Nothing.  There were too many witnesses that said I jumped him and he was just defending himself.”

“Figures,” I mumbled under my breath. “I’m sorry you got suspende
d.”

“Don’t be sorry,” he said quickly. “I’m not.
  I’d do it again if I had to.”

I looked over at him and I knew he
was serious.  My mom was right.  I would miss Jesse.  I didn’t want to give up a friendship like his, but there was no choice. I had to go.  I’d be fine and I wouldn’t miss Jesse that much.  I’d only known him a couple of months after all.  My real friends were back in Boston.  The people I’d met here were just passing acquaintances.  They wouldn’t mean anything in the long run.

The silence had settled heavily between us.  I knew Jesse wanted me to say something, but I couldn’t.  The stillness was filled with the slow creak of the rocking chairs on the wooden porch.  Jesse had leaned back and was swaying back and forth
.  I watched as he looked up at the roof like he was deep in thought.  He sighed and then looked over to me again.

“Are you gonna
be okay?” he asked simply a moment later.

“Yeah,” I said quietly, looking away from him. “I’ll be fine.”  I was lying, but what could I say?  I couldn’t tell him how I was really feeling because then he’d just want to keep talking about it and I couldn’t talk about it anymore.  I wanted to just forget about it.  I needed to forget about Alex and what he’d done to me.  I closed my eyes for a second and told myself to hang in there.  At this time tomorrow I’d be on my way back to Boston and I’d never again have to return to this nightmare.

“Everyone’s really worried about you,” he said, breaking through my thoughts.

“Tell them not to worry
, but just so you guys know, I won’t be in school for a couple of days.” I wasn’t going to tell him I was leaving.  I couldn’t tell him that because he’d just try and stop me and I couldn’t let him do that.  “My mom said I could just hang out here for a bit, ya know, to get myself together and stuff.  I just didn’t want anyone to worry.”

“Sure, that makes sense,” he said softly and I knew he understood why I wouldn’t be at school.  It’s not like he would be there anyway, so what did it matter?  And, even if I was staying in
Carver, I knew I didn’t want to be there without Jesse, especially after what he’d done for me.  “But, will you call me if you need anything?” he continued.

“Yeah, of course,” I said, not bothering to tell him that, too, was a lie.  I wouldn’t be calling him because in twenty-four hours I’d be gone and he wouldn’t be able to help me.

It grew quiet once more, but then he looked over at me again.

“Do you want me to stay and
hang out?” he asked cautiously.

“
I kinda want to be alone.  I hope you don’t mind,” I said as my eyes began filling with tears, but not because of what Alex had done to me, but because I was lying to Jesse.  I wanted him to stay and I wanted to say good-bye to him and thank him for everything he’d done for me, but I couldn’t and I hated it.

“No, I don’t mind.  It’s fine,” he said
, smiling at me and I wiped my eyes and smiled back. Again, it was quiet. “I’ll get going then,” he said hesitantly a moment later.

I nodded and smiled.  The lump in my throat was too big to say anything.  He stood up and walked down the porch stairs until he was on the lawn.  Then he stopped and looked up at me.

“Let me know if you need anything,” he said again and I nodded as he turned to walk towards his old Wagoneer. 

My eyes were burning now and my heart ached as I watched him walk away, knowing I’d never see him again, especially after everything he’d done for me.  As I watched him opening the door to the old Jeep, I tried telling myself I wouldn’t miss him, that I didn’t need him, that I didn’t need to say good-bye, but when he was just about to sit down in the driver’s seat, I jumped up from the rocking chair and hurried down the stairs. 

“Jesse!” I called out to him. 

He looked up at me
and stepped out of the Jeep.  I walked over to him until we were only a couple of feet apart.

“Thank you for being so nice to me and teaching me how to shoot and paint and ride a four-wheeler
and putting up with my brattiness and everything else.  And thank you for what you did today.  You’ll never know what that meant to me,” I said as I wrapped my arms around him.  His arms slowly raised and wrapped around me too.

“You don’t need to thank
me.”

I knew I didn’t need to thank him because th
at was the kind of person he was, but I had to say it.  He had to know how much he’d helped me and he had to know before it was too late.  He had to know what he meant to me so when he found out I was gone and not coming back, he might not hate me as much. 

I
held onto Jesse, not wanting to let go.  But, I eventually pulled back and Jesse’s arms fell gently to his sides again. 

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said with a comforting smile
and then kissed me on the forehead.  I nodded through the lump in my throat as he climbed into the Jeep.  The old steel door shut with a bang and then the engine started rumbling.  He waved to me again and then pulled out of the dirt driveway, leaving a trail of dust behind.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

It had been awkward during the drive to Wichita and the awkwardness continued when I said my good-byes to my mom and grandma at the airport.  We hadn’t really said much actually.  They both knew why I was leaving, but even though we all understood why I was leaving, it didn’t help prepare me for the sadness I felt as I hugged them both.  Things hadn’t been well between my mom and me in months, but they had started to turn around…until this thing with Alex happened.  Now I was leaving and I didn’t know where our relationship stood.  I knew I loved her and I was grateful she’d been so understanding of my need to leave Kansas, but it still didn’t settle all the tension that had been building since we’d left Boston.  Plus, I felt like I was just getting to know my grandma and now I was leaving and all because of my stupidity over believing everything Alex had said to me. 

But
as the plane descended through the thick cloud coverage, I felt a wave of relief washing over me.  I could almost feel my troubles lifting off of me.  Now, if only the clouds would lift and give me my first glimpse of the ground I was so anxious to see.  I knew once the plane broke through the haze, I’d be greeted with images of the familiar skyline and the trees New England was famous for.  I’d hoped there’d be a sea of red, orange, and yellow leaves.  It was late October though, so I knew many of the leaves had already fallen.  No matter the state of the trees, I was just anxious to be back.

The clouds finally broke, but not until we were practically on the ground.  The plane touched down with a jolt and a few minutes later it was parked at the gate.  The moment the seatbelt sign was turned
off, I grabbed my bag and stepped into the aisle.  I followed the crowd, stepped off the jet way, and made my way to baggage claim where my eyes immediately focused on my dad and Robin, who were sitting down waiting for me.  Robin wasn’t hard to miss with her flaming red hair.  Well, maybe it wasn’t flaming, it was actually a nice auburn color, but I had always associated it with the same red hair and seductive personality of Jessica Rabbit. 

They both stood up when t
hey saw me.  Robin smiled nervously and I managed a smile in return. 

“It’s good to see you,” my dad said a moment later and then he wrapped his arms around me.  I hugged him back and held onto him longer than I expected.  I didn’t realize how much I’d missed him.

“Hi Riley,” Robin said cautiously a moment later.

“Hey,” I said and we both leane
d in awkwardly for a hug.

“How were your flights?” Robin
asked.

“Not bad.  It was a little bumpy leaving Atlanta,” I said
, referring to my connecting flight.

“We’re excited to have you back,” she said with another smile, a more relaxe
d smile.

“Yeah, me too,” I said and then I felt
my dad put his arm around me. 

The baggage claim area was crowded like it always was at Logan Airport.  Everyone seemed to be pushing and shoving to get to the conveyer belt.  At least it seemed that way to me.  The whole hustle and bustle here was so different than everything I’d grown accustomed to back in Kansas.  My dad and I managed to weasel our way to the front though and after a few minutes, I found my two bags.  My dad pulled them off and we made our way back through the crowd and to the parking garage. 

Logan was enormous compared to the Wichita airport and we walked for nearly ten minutes before we found my dad’s silver Audi.  We threw my bags in the trunk and I climbed into the backseat.  My dad pulled out of the garage and a few minutes later we were on the busy highway heading to his condo. 

It was nearly six o’clock and the sun had almost set.  I couldn’t see the trees I’d been hoping for, but I did see the skyline and it looked magical and I smiled knowing I was finally home.

****

I’d always stayed in the guest room in my dad’s condo on the
rare occasions I actually spent the night at his place and that’s where he was putting me now. 

“I hope this is okay,” he said
, setting my suitcases down.

“
It’s fine, Dad,” I said, trying to sound cheerful as I looked around the dull room.  The tan walls were so different than the ultramarine walls back in Carver.              

“You can de
corate it however you want to.”

“Thanks, but this is fine,” I said
, flinging my backpack onto the bed. “Thanks for letting me stay.”

“Of course.
  You know this is your home too.  I’m glad to have you here and so is Robin.”

I knew he meant it, but I had never felt that way.  It had always just been the place I had to come to
to visit my dad.  It was my home now though, so I had to do my best to get used to it.

“Are you hungry?  We were thinking abo
ut ordering some Chinese food.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

He nodded and stood with his hands in his pockets rocking back and forth from his toe to his heel.  I’d always been close to my dad, but things had been different since the divorce.  They’d been weird with both my parents since they’d split.  It was like now he thought about everything before he said anything to me.  He was acting even more cautious now though.  He seemed afraid to upset me, or was he just acting that way because he knew what I’d done with Alex?

“Um, dad?”

“Yeah, Ry?”

“Um, what did Mom tell you…about, about why I wanted to come home?  I mean, did she tell you why?” I asked hesitantly and he seemed uncomfortable.

“Yes, she did,” he answered softly.

“Are you mad at me?” I asked, finally looking up i
nto the same dark eyes as mine.

“No, honey,
” he said softly. “I’m not mad at you.”

He stepped over to me a
nd wrapped me in his arms and I buried my head in his chest as the tears fell silently onto his shirt.