Lawless (18 page)

"Having a price on your head isn't
insignificant."

"But it is.  If I were to die, look at the
millions of other souls here on earth that would fill in and take my place.  I'm
just a tiny drop in the world's bucket."

He shifted, tilting his head to face her.  "Maybe
to the world, but to those who know and care about you, your loss would be
devastating."

"Maybe for my best friend, but I'm
guessing that would be all."

Silence crept in for several beats.  "It
would devastate me."

His admission scratched at a long-held scar.  "Only
because it would mess with your confidence to protect the fine citizens of this
county.  Not because I would be gone.  You don't know me well enough to miss me."

He rolled onto his side.  "How can you say
that?  We've been together 24 hours a day for more than two weeks."  He
flattened out on the truck bed and huffed.  "I know you better than you think."

It was her turn to lift up on her elbow.  "Really? 
What is it you think you know so well?"

"You like your coffee black."

She snorted.  "So does half the world."

"You enjoy a long bubble bath."

"How do you know that?"

"There's always bubbles left in the tub
when you're finished, and they smell good, like you."

Her heart squeezed, leaving a too-familiar
ache.  "Still, that comes from spending time together, not really getting
to know each other."  She lay back down.  He didn't know her at all.

Another minute of silence passed before he
spoke again.  "You're an extremely brave person who wants nothing more
than to be loved."  His quiet words were a dagger ripping into the dark
corners of her heart.  "Your family, who should have loved you, didn't.  I'm
not sure exactly what happened, but they, maybe your father, hurt you deeply. 
At first, I thought you were testifying to get some sort of revenge for being
ignored, but now, I think it's something more."

The ache inside her swelled, closing her throat
and forcing tears into her eyes.  She steeled her jaw and focused on the vast
dark sky, willing it to steal her away into the night.

"Am I close?"

He waited several moments, but she couldn't
answer.  With only a few words, he'd laid bare her soul.  Throughout her life,
she'd done an excellent job keeping people from breaching that barrier, but now
that Milo had, she was clueless on how to protect herself.

"Ariana?"  He rolled toward her, his
fingers searching out her face, finding her damned tears.  "Shit," he
said under his breath.  "I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to make you cry."

He drew a rough thumb beneath each of her eyes,
dragging her tears across her cheeks.  She pushed him away, embarrassed that he'd
seen through her carefully crafted mask so easily.

"I'm such an ass."  He scooted closer
beneath the blankets and pulled her against his chest.  She wanted to resist,
but having a soft place to fall was worth more than her pride.  She curled
against him, allowing her distress to eek away from her little by little.

She waited until she'd regained control of her
emotions before she spoke.  "My father is a ruthless man who dominates his
world with a merciless and vile fist."  Her first words were followed by a
shuddering sigh, and she hesitated a moment to see what would follow.

Relief.  The tiniest bit of relief soaked into
her.  Kenzie had a good idea what her family life had been like, but Ariana had
never told her everything.  Because of that, Ariana had never experienced the release
that came with exposing her tragedies.

"I'm sorry," he whispered against her
hair.  "No person should have to grow up like that."

"Many do, though.  I suppose I was lucky
that at least I had money to spend.  My father took great pride in the fact
that we wore designer clothes, that my brother and I attended the finest
schools."

"Don't justify his behavior, Ariana."

She blew out a deep breath.  "I'm not. 
Those things he did for us, well at least for me, were like paying to have the
landscape meticulously maintained.  It was for show.  No one would ever accuse
him of not having the best of everything.  His children were an extension of
that."  She rested a shaking hand on Milo's chest, his heart pounding
against her palm, strong and sure.  "My brother is a little different.  He's
being groomed to take over in the organization, but I'm not sure my father has
shown him love, either.  Maybe."

She lifted her head, needing to see the
expression on Milo's face.  "My testimony will likely harm my brother,
too."

He gave her a consoling smile and hugged her to
him.  "And that bothers you."

"It does."  Fresh tears pooled in her
eyes.  "He's never had a choice concerning his future, either.  This was
forced upon him."

"It's okay, Ariana.  You're doing the
right thing.  I'm not going to say it's not going to cost your brother time in
a cell, but in the long run, you may be saving him.  He'll have the opportunity
to reform, and depending upon what crimes he's committed, he may not serve that
many years.  Or maybe he'll turn state's evidence and be given a reprieve."

Another layer of worry fell away.  "I hadn't
thought of that."

He caressed the side of her cheek, tucking her
hair behind her ear.  "Think of the people you might be saving from dying
at his hand.  In effect, you'll be saving your brother's soul."

She nodded.  "Thank you for saying this to
me.  I can't tell you how much it helps."

"Are you worried about sending your father
to prison, too?"

"No."  Her conviction echoed in her
reply.  "I hope he rots."

"I kind of figured that.  Can you tell me
about him?"

A fistful of pain lodged in her throat.  It was
several moments before she could swallow past it.  He'd trusted her with his
hurts.  Maybe she could trust him, too.  "I'm not sure I can," she
managed.

He hugged her tighter.  "It's okay.  You don't
have to."

She lay on his chest several moments, listening
to the crickets chirp, letting the feel of him comfort her.  "I was in
love once.  When I was sixteen."

"Yeah?"  His voice was lighter, as
though he believed she'd changed the subject.  "Not since sixteen?"

She couldn't answer that question, couldn't
comment on what she'd dealt with in the years since Danny's death.  "His
name was Danny.  His father worked for mine.  That's how we met."  A
painful smile trembled on her lips as she remembered how much she'd loved to
spend time with him roaming the streets and hanging out in abandoned warehouses,
tossing rocks into the river, and how she'd loved it when he'd kissed her. 
Back before he father paid much notice to her.

"Danny," Milo repeated.  "I might
be a little jealous of him."  He chuckled.

"No."  She shook her head.  "My
father caught us together one night."  She paused, but Milo remained
silent.  "The night I lost my virginity."

"Ariana," Milo whispered, his voice
no longer upbeat.  "No."

She tried to inhale a calming breath, but her
tight lungs only allowed air in tiny, ragged increments.  "My father
tortured him, forcing me to watch."

He put a hand against her cheek.  "You don't
have to do this."

"Before he killed him, he had someone cut
off his…"  The horrible memories fired in her brain with enough power to make
her shudder.

Milo tightened his arms around her, crushing
her against his chest.  "It's…God, I don't even know what to say to that. 
Just know, he'll never do it again."

"I know.  That's why I have to testify. 
Even if Kenzie begged me not to.  I owe that to Danny and to all the people he
still may hurt if I don't do what I can to stop him."

He kissed the top of her head, sending a
scattering of peace over her.  "You are an amazing woman, Ariana.  Not
many would dare go up against that kind of person."

"It was my fault he died, Milo.  If Danny
hadn't loved me, he'd still be alive."

"You don't know that, Ariana.  He might
have followed in his father's footsteps and found himself mixed up with the
wrong people anyway.  You have to let that guilt go."

"Maybe after I testify I'll be able to. 
It kind of feels like things have come full circle.  Maybe gaining a new life
and a new identity will help me to move on.  I'd like to be able to do that."

"You should."

"In some ways, you and I are similar.  We're
both carrying around some serious baggage."

He inhaled a deep breath, his chest expanding
against her cheek.  "Yours is a little different than mine."

"How?  We both feel responsible for another
person's death."

"First, you were a kid.  Second, it was my
job to protect Jane."

"Still, maybe it's time to let go."

"I'd like to, Ariana, but it's not that
easy.  Sometimes I wonder if it will haunt me until the end of my days."

She lifted off his chest, gazing at his face in
the moonlight.  A good-hearted man hid beneath the exterior of her sexy
deputy.  "Thank you for listening.  I've never been able to talk about
this with anyone, but telling you feels like I've dropped a boulder of guilt. 
I just wish I could give you the same kind of peace."

*        *        *

Ariana woke with a start.  She wasn't sure how
many hours had passed since she and Milo had drifted off to sleep, but she was
freezing, and her right hip hurt from pressing into the truck bed.  She rolled
onto her back and looked in Milo's direction.  Clouds had covered the moon,
leaving utter darkness to settle around them.  If she hadn't been able to hear
his deep breathing, she might wonder if he had deserted her.  She slid a hand
across the sleeping bag and came in contact with the hard muscles of his stomach.

She hated to admit it, but she found him more
attractive now that he'd shared his vulnerable side.  Plus, he had learned the
worst about her and hadn't judged.  Words couldn't express how grateful she was
for that.

She fluffed her pillow and closed her eyes,
trying to will herself back to sleep.  They'd stayed up late, so it couldn't be
too long before the sun rose over the hills.  She could manage until then.

A restless few minutes passed and then she
heard movement.  Scuffling on the ground, a rustling of the bushes.  Something
was in their camp.

Her breathing grew shallow as she tried to
discern which direction the sounds came from.  It was close.  For all she knew,
it could be a bear or something.  She really had no idea what kind of wild
animals roamed the area, but something was out there.  She swore it was getting
closer.

Fear drove her to ply herself against Milo. 
She put her mouth to his ear.  "Milo," she whispered.  He moaned, but
didn't wake.  "Milo."

Before she could comprehend what was happening,
Milo wrapped steel-banded arms around her middle and tossed her on her back, covering
her in a dominant position.  Thoughts of what was outside the truck bed took a
secondary position to the hulking man on top of her.

"Milo," she squeaked.  "Get off
me."

He didn't move.  She couldn't see his face to
know if he was wide awake or tossing her in his dreams.

"There's something out there," she
tried again.

"I hear it," he whispered back.

Relief flooded her.  He was awake and coherent. 
"Could it be my father's men?"  She hadn't been able to think those
thoughts a moment before while Milo had been asleep.

"Shh…"

Her quick reprieve shifted back to worry.

"Not a person.  Mountain lion, maybe,"
he whispered.

Adrenaline kicked in.  "What?" she
squeaked.  She tried to move, but he had her pinned.

"I'm just kidding, darlin'."  His
deep chuckle vibrated through the darkness.  "It's most likely a raccoon. 
Nothing big that's going to get you."

It took a few seconds for his words to
register.  "You..."  She pushed against him, trying to decide if she
was grateful their lives weren't in danger, or if she was mad at him for
teasing her.

"Sorry, but that's what happens when you
wake me from a hot-as-hell dream.  I can't have you in real life, but damn…"

The adrenaline rushing through her veins took a
sharp curve toward long-thwarted need.  "You were dreaming about me?" 
Acute awareness of his muscled body pressed to hers flooded her brain.  Her
breasts pushed against him with each breath she took, and the evidence of his
physical need for her wouldn't be ignored.

"Yeah."  His admission came out as a
breathless whisper.  "I just, uh…I should move off you, but you feel so
damn good, Ariana."

She loved the way he said her name, sounding a
little sleepy, and more than a little turned on.  "What were we doing in
your dream?"  She shouldn't have asked, but she wanted to share the
fantasy.

"Mmm…"  The sound rumbled in his
chest.  "It kind of started out like the night we played poker.  You were
doing this sexy kind of strip tease dance for me.  You wore this lacy turquoise
bra that played peek-a-boo with your nipples."

She swallowed, trying to wet her dry mouth.  With
just a few words, he'd sucked her            in to his heated dream.  She
wanted to do that dance for him.  She wanted to turn him on.  Wanted him to
feel the aching need that she experienced over and over again every day they
were together.

"You slipped off your jeans and your
turquoise panties looked like the ones you had on at the river."

"I still haven't forgiven you for peeking,"
she said, breathless.

 He rolled off her with a groan.  "Oh God,
Ariana.  How could I not?  You're the…sexiest thing that's ever stumbled into
my life.  From the moment I saw you, I wanted you.  But you're like the sweetest
piece of candy I can't have.  The more I know you, the more I like you, but I
can never have you.  It's a sick game the fates are playing with my head. 
Forgive me for my moment of weakness."