Lead Me On (25 page)

"You don't have to talk if you don't want to," he said. She felt his hands slip about her ankles as he removed her sandals. Then he chased Sadie off the bed and pulled Alli to a sitting position.

Her head ached from holding back tears, so she docilely obeyed as he undressed her down to the gauzy black bra and panties she'd worn that day with thoughts of seducing him. With no desire to be sexy and provocative, she covered her chest with one arm and looked away. The sound of drawers opening and closing penetrated her numbness. Then he stood before her, holding out a white cotton nightgown.

"Thank you," she whispered, her throat tight with grief. Rising, she clutched the garment to her, willing him to leave. He turned his back and busied himself with turning down her bed, silently telling her he wouldn't go away until she was tucked into bed. Giving in, she changed into the nightgown. He held the covers and she climbed beneath them, pulling them to her chin. "I'm okay now. Really."

"No one said you weren't." He calmly proceeded to take off his boots. She squeezed her eyes shut as emotions quivered beneath the surface of control. If only he'd go away, she could force the memories and pain back down, lock them away. He tapped her lightly on the hip. "Scoot over."

She thought about arguing, but didn't have the energy. So she moved closer to the wall, which gave him barely enough room on the single bed to stretch out beside her. His blue jeans felt rough against her thighs as he gathered her in his arms.

"Although, if you want to talk ..." He left the invitation hanging.

"No," she whispered, then pressed her lips together to make them stop shaking. "I just want to forget."

"All right." He stroked her hair and back for several

long seconds. The soothing motion relaxed her muscles, weakened her defenses. She could feel the memories welling up again and this time was helpless to stop them.

She closed her eyes as they engulfed her. "I had a miscarriage. When I was sixteen."

"Oh hell." His arms tightened around her. "I was hoping that wasn't it"

"I wanted the baby." The force of that wanting tore through her body. "I wanted it so much even though Peter pressured me to have an abortion."

"Peter?"

"The boy I told you about."

"You seem to have left out a few details. Care to tell me the whole story?" When she shook her head, he fit her body more tightly along his. "Come on. I've got you. Tell me what happened."

The first rush of pain subsided enough for her to take small breaths. "He—he was the only boy who ever noticed me."

"Somehow I doubt that."

"Oh, I had friends who were boys." She rubbed the heel of her hand against her cheek. "Well, Adrian's friends, really, but they weren't 'boyfriends.' Then one day, Peter was hanging around my locker. My heart just about stopped, because I had such a huge crush on him. All the girls did. He was beautiful and popular, on the football team. All the girls talked about him endlessly, and then suddenly there he was, standing by my locker."

Settling her head on Scott's shoulder, she let herself drift back to that day. How clear it seemed, even though she hadn't thought of it in years. Hadn't let herself think about it. "I tried to be calm, not gawk and drool and make an idiot of myself. But then he looked at me, looked right at me, and smiled. I don't even remember what he said, just that he was talking to me, and then he took my books and walked me to my next class, and everyone was looking at us. I'd never been the center of attention before. It was frightening. And the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to me.

"The next few weeks were a fairy tale. Peter poured attention on me. I met all the popular kids. I mean, I knew most of them, because Adrian was ... well, Adrian—Mr. Jock—and the girls were even more crazy over him than Peter—a fact that always seemed to make Peter mad." She frowned, because she hadn't realized that then, but it seemed quite clear now. Peter had always become irritable when her brother's name came up. "No matter. The important thing is, I wasn't just Adrian's shy sister anymore. I was wearing Peter Basset's letter jacket

"1 was so in awe. And so stupid." She balled her hand into a fist against his chest as tears filled her throat "He told me ... he loved me. And I believed him! God, I was so stupid. He was Peter Basset, part of the Galveston elite, the country club set He talked about us being together forever. And I believed him!"

Scott's arms tightened and he murmured against her hair. "Come on, let it all out"

"The first time I let him ... the first time we ... were together ... it was awful. I felt so empty afterward. I'd expected it to be wonderful, for it to fill some void inside me, but it just hurt and felt all wrong. I told myself that it would get better, and when it didn't I told myself it was my fault. There was something lacking in me, that I expected too much. Peter was perfect and I was this mousy little nobody."

"You are not mousy," he said fiercely. "And you are not a nobody."

"But I felt like nobody." She sniffed against a new rise of tears. "Even when I was with him. So, I concentrated on pleasing him and I dreamed about the future. I spent hours writing my married name in my school notebook. Allison Basset. Mrs. Peter Basset. Mr. and Mrs. Basset.

"When I realized I was pregnant, I was frightened, but I was also excited. Because I thought we wouldn't have to wait until we were older to marry. We'd marry right away, I'd cook and clean for him while he went to college, then we'd get a house, raise a family, and everything would be wonderful."

She lay very still for a while, focusing on the feel of Scott's hand stroking her hair. "We had a date that night. I floated through the whole evening, smiling at his friends, thinking they would be my friends, too. They'd attend our wedding, as Peter and I would attend theirs. We'd all raise our children together.

"Then Peter took me home, stopping at one of his favorite 'parking' places on the way." She clung to Scott, wishing she could stop the memories now, but they kept coming. "We made out in the back seat of his Camaro. I felt as empty as ever when it was over, but told myself it was okay. Lots of girls don't enjoy doing it. I loved Peter. That's all that mattered.

"Afterward, I told him about the baby. Oh God." She buried her face in Scott's chest. "He was horrified. I tried to reassure him, to tell him we'd work it out and that's when ... That's when he ... he started to laugh."

She swiped the hair away from her face, clenching her teeth. "He said he couldn't believe I took anything he'd said seriously. I was a Bouchard. That's how the old families in Galveston always think of us, no matter our last name. We're theater people, descended from a French prostitute. Surely I never really believed he'd want to marry me. He said ... he said the only reason he asked me out in the first place was because the other football players said I wouldn't 'put out' for anyone."

She squeezed her eyes shut "I was nothing but a challenge to him, a way to prove to the rest of the team how macho he was. He told me I had to get an abortion. Ordered me to. But I refused.

"The next few weeks were so awful, I can't even remember them correctly. I told Adrian I was pregnant, and he talked me into telling Aunt Viv. But we never told Rory. She still doesn't know." She looked at him, suddenly frantic. "So you can't tell her. You can't tell anyone."

"Of course I won't."

She dropped her head back to his shoulder. "Aunt Viv was furious. Not at me. At Peter. She wanted to confront his parents and file a paternity suit. I swear, if he'd been older, she'd have filed statutory rape charges, but I talked her out of it. I just wanted my baby. It wasn't Peter's anymore. It was mine." She clutched her fist to her breast. "I wanted it so badly.

"I remember the first time I felt it move. For nearly a month, I dreamed and worried over the life growing inside me. Oh God, I wanted my baby!"

Tears scalded her cheek and dampened Scott's shirt, but he still held on to her. "One night, I woke up with terrible cramps and I was bleeding. Aunt Viv rushed me to the hospital. There was nothing they could do. I wanted my baby. I wanted it so much."

Her shoulders jerked with sobs and her throat closed. As Scott rocked her and cooed against her hair, she let go of all the pain, let it flow out of her as he held her tightly to him and let her cry.

Scott stared into the darkness, listening to Allison's quiet breathing. She'd cried herself to sleep hours ago. And sometime during the night, he realized he'd done the unthinkable. He'd fallen in love with her.

With his arms loosely about her, he turned his head so his lips rested against her forehead. Last night, as she let down all her defenses, revealed her sorrow and the depth of her pain, his own guard had crumbled completely. All the emotions that had been building inside him rushed out of his heart and filled him.

He loved her. The knowledge so awed him, his eyes stung. Never in his life had he felt an emotion so strong his body ached with it.

But with the love came fear. Even if they managed to get past his connection to John LeRoche, sooner or later one of them would let the other down. Every relationship he'd had worked that way. His arms tightened a fraction and he squeezed his eyes shut.
I don't want to hurt you.
Yet, how could he tell her he loved her without hurting her? She didn't want this, and now he knew why. She'd been hurt enough.

Sensing he was awake, Sadie whined beside the bed. He reached a hand down to quiet her with an ear-scratch and noticed the illuminated numbers on the bedside clock read four forty-eight. The house would be waking soon. As much as he wanted to stay with Allison, he knew he'd serve her best by making his way quietly to his room upstairs, before her brother woke and realized where he'd spent the night.

Shifting, he eased himself out from under her. When

she moaned in protest, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Sleep."

She relaxed into the pillow with a sigh, her hand resting in the spot where he had lain. The faint light through the window fell softly over her face and hair and a physical longing rose inside him to stay with her. Fighting it, he picked up his boots and padded to the bathroom. Sadie nosed her way past the partially closed door as he splashed water on his face. He turned and found the little dog rubbing her eyes with a front paw, and had to smile.

"I agree," he whispered and squatted down to pet her. "It's way too early to be up."

The sheltie eyed him with her sleepy brown eyes.

"Tell you what. You stay here and watch over Alli. I'll make a clean getaway to keep her out of trouble."

Sadie let loose with a huge yawn.

"I'll take that as a yes."

Rather than put on his boots, he headed upstairs in stocking feet, hoping to get to his room without waking Adrian. Considering the early hour, he figured that shouldn't be a problem. Unfortunately, the minute he reached the back hall, he realized the kitchen was filled with light, the clatter of pans, and the smell of baking bread.

Well hell.
Allison's brother was already up and cooking breakfast. While Adrian might have softened toward him some, Scott doubted Big Brother would be thrilled to find a man sneaking out of his sister's bedroom in the wee hours of the morning.

He stood still, debating his chances of sneaking past the kitchen doorway and straight into the main hall. On his first step a floorboard creaked, making him cringe.

"Alli?" Adrian appeared in the doorway, his concerned expression going flat when he saw Scott standing there with boots in hand. "Oh."

"Uh, good morning." Scott braced himself for anything. A fist in the face wouldn't surprise him.

"How's she doing?" Adrian asked with a total lack of hostility.

Okay, so that surprised him. "Sleeping now. She's pretty wrung out."

Concern lined Adrian's face as he glanced toward the stairs. "I wish I could let her sleep in, but with Chance still at the birthing center, she's all I've got"

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

Adrian snorted. "Make coffee, set up the buffet, serve guests."

"Okay."

"I was joking."

"I wasn't." Scott bent forward to pull on his boots. "If I can help out, I'm game."

"Well, that ought to give the other guests a thrill, to be served breakfast by a world-famous author."

"You know"—Scott straightened—"I've never understood why people think the minute you get published you forget how to perform the basic functions of life. I assure you, I manage to cook and clean and do my own laundry, just like every other bachelor. Probably a hell of a lot better than most."

"All right." Adrian nodded cautiously. "You're on. Coffee beans are over there. We fill the carafe for upstairs first. Dishes and silverware for setting up the buffet are in the butler's pantry."

Scott headed for the counter with the grinder and commercial coffee maker. Over the last few weeks, he'd learned his way around the kitchen fairly well, but always felt ill at ease about invading someone else's space. Especially with Adrian manning the stove with the skill of an accomplished chef.

Once he had coffee dripping into the first carafe, he turned back to Adrian, debating how far he should push this new friendly attitude. "Mind if I ask you a question?"

"Depends on what it is."

"This guy, Dick, does he still live in Galveston?"

"Dick?" Adrian frowned over his shoulder, whisking eggs in a metal bowl.

"The one who hurt Alli when she was sixteen."

"Oh. You mean Peter."

"Dick, Peter. Same thing."

Adrian chuckled. "I like that. But no. Last I heard, he's living in California working for some fancy law firm."

"Too bad."

"What were you going to do, go beat him up for something that happened more than ten years ago?"

"The thought crossed my mind." Scott calmly lifted a brow even as anger churned in his gut.

Adrian studied him a moment, then nodded in approval. "Well, if it makes you feel better, I took care of it back then."

"I trust you did a good job."

"Good enough to get arrested for assault. Fortunately Aunt Viv had enough dirt on Dickhead's father to get them to drop all charges. Not that any of that helped Alli. She was broken up about it for a long time. Still is, apparently. More than I realized."

"Yeah, still is." He thought about the way she'd cried last night, and felt the burn of helpless rage. The coffee maker gurgled, bringing him back to the duties at hand. He screwed on the lid to the carafe, and headed for the door.

"Hang on. Take this, too." Adrian filled a second carafe from a small faucet that dispensed steaming hot water. As he handed it to Scott, he gave him a hard, assessing look. "About you and Alli ..."

Scott stiffened, but remained where he was, willing to take any anger Adrian cared to get off his chest.

"Whatever's going on between you, I just want you to know one thing. Allison feels things more deeply than most people. She doesn't give her heart lightly, because when she loves someone, she does it completely. And when she's hurt, she takes a long time to heal." Adrian's gaze bored into his. "I'd hate to see her hurt again."

"Message received." Taking the carafe, he headed upstairs. The last thing in the world he wanted to do was hurt Allison, but was there really any way around it at this point?

On his way back down, he stopped to set up the sideboard, a task that took a while since he had to search through all the drawers and cabinets in the butler's pantry to find everything he needed.

That done, he swung back into the kitchen. "Okay, now what?"

Allison turned with a start from the refrigerator. "Scott, what are you doing in here?"

He saw surprise, but thankfully no embarrassment. His heart clutched, though, seeing her pale face and the slight swelling around her eyes. Everything in him wanted to go to her, take her in his arms and kiss away the sorrow. But not with Adrian standing there. "You should be in bed."

"Why?" She frowned at him. "I'm not sick."

"No, but you're exhausted."

"Exhausted or not, breakfast has to be served." She sighed and pulled some bacon out of the fridge.

"I'll take care of it." He took the packet from her and carried it to Adrian at the stove.

"Scott ..." she protested. "You're a guest."

"Chloe's a guest, and she helps."

"Yes, but you're ..."

"A helpless celebrity?" he asked. Deciding to simply override her objection, he turned to her brother. "What do you need done next?"

Adrian didn't hesitate. He pointed to a wicker basket filled with muffins. "Take that out to the sideboard."

"Got it." Scott picked up the basket and headed back

out.

The guests were already filling the table when Chance came through the back door, surprising them. "Sorry I'm late," he said, looking a bit rumpled and dazed.

"Late?" Adrian stared at him as he flipped blueberry pancakes. "We didn't even expect you."

"Oh." Chance gazed around the room as if he'd never seen a kitchen before. "Well, I'm here."

"He's useless," Adrian whispered to Scott just as Allison returned from the dining room with an empty tray.

"Chance?" she said, coming up short. Emotions moved over her face, shadows of anxiety from the night before. "Is Rory okay?"

"She's great," he said with a look of wonder. "So's Lauren. I got to watch Aurora feed her this morning. God, she's beautiful. And so tiny." He held out his arm. "Her head doesn't even fill the palm of my hand. I had no idea she'd be so tiny. I just ... had no idea."

Allison carried the tray to Adrian by the stove, her back to Chance as he continued talking about the baby in minute detail. Scott glanced at Allison, taking in the tense shoulders, the carefully guarded expression, then noticed Adrian watching her as well.

"Will you be able to bring them home today?" Adrian asked, as he filled the tray with pancakes.

"I think so," Chance answered. "The midwife said it was one of the shortest labors and easiest deliveries she's seen in years."

Allison lifted the filled tray and headed for the dining room.

"Here, let me help with that." Scott followed her into the butler's pantry and slipped a hand about her arm to stop her. He waited for the door to swing closed and give them privacy. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she said, as if trying to convince herself. "I just have to get used to it, since I can hardly expect them to not talk about the baby when I'm around. They're excited, and so am I. It's hard for me, yes, but I am glad for Chance and Rory."

He rubbed her arm, wishing he could do something to make things easier for her. "They're a nice couple."

"Yes, they are." She nodded. "And they're deliriously happy together."

"I've noticed." He smiled.

She cocked her head. "I thought you didn't believe in happy marriages."

"I've decided to revise that statement and say that happiness is granted to those rare people who are decent and deserving when they treat each other with respect. You seem to have a high percentage of decent people in your life."

"I have been blessed with that, at least" She smiled.

"You've been blessed in a lot of ways." He studied her, wondering what life would be like surrounded by a warm loving family. "So, how will you handle it when Chance brings Rory and the baby home?"

"I just will," she stated firmly. "I'll start by apologizing to Rory for running off like that last night. She must be wondering why I didn't want to see the baby."