Leap of Faith (La Flor #1) (2 page)

The second time, I would face death.

I would die.

Faith (2 May 2008)

“Why, Lord? Why would you do this to us? How could you let this happen?” I silently scream to God.

How can this be real? I need to wake up. If I pinch myself, maybe I’ll awaken and see this is just a dream, a horrible nightmare, I think to myself as silent tears stream down my face. I know I shouldn’t cry. Crying is showing a weakness that I can’t afford to show now; everyone’s eyes are on me.

Everything has changed. In the blink of an eye, my world unraveled and my dreams shattered. Now, I have to change, learn how to live my life without him. I have to be strong, but how can I when I’m standing here in front of my husband? My husband, the man I swore to love with all my heart through good times and bad times, through sickness and in health, forever.

He was supposed to be my forever.

But now he’s gone, and I’m laying him here to rest.

As I stand here surrounded by family and friends, I look back at our time together. The day I met him, I was home from college on winter break and my parents were hosting a Christmas party for my father’s squadron. That’s when I saw him. He was one of my Daddy’s soldiers.

Christmas 2000

I notice him the moment I come down the stairs. He’s standing with a group of guys, they’re laughing and enjoying their beer. I don’t know what they’re talking about, but I see him making all sorts of wild gestures and funny faces.

In that moment, I feel an undeniable pull to him, like my heart is reaching out to him. It must be the way the others treat him—with respect, admiration, and friendship. In our world, I know those aren’t easily given or earned and that alone makes him special. Yet, there’s something else about him that calls me. Unable to look away, I continue to watch him and I smile.

He’s not afraid of being silly and doesn’t seem worried of what others might think of him—he knows how to have fun. I’m fascinated by him and can’t turn away, so I look my fill. He must feel the weight of my stare because he starts looking around the room. Then, his eyes land on me and they widen in shock.

Everything disappears except the two of us.

As our eyes meet, I feel a jolt of electricity, like lightning striking my body, going right through me. He’s the handsomest man I’ve ever seen. I know he’s the one for me from that instant—he’s my Prince Charming. It’s inexplicable and crazy, but I know he’s supposed to be mine. Before it was a feeling, now it’s a certainty. I’ve never believed in the so called “love at first sight,” until now.

At seventeen, I’ve found my soul mate.

My eyes are only for him, and then I see her. A little girl, about four or five, appear from behind him and takes his hand. He looks down at her and smiles. He picks her up, kisses her, and hugs her. The resemblance is uncanny—she’s his daughter. I feel a huge disappointment. My eyes close and I feel my heart break. He’s married. My eyes fill with tears and I reluctantly force myself to turn and walk away.

Hours later, I help my mother cut the cake. His precious little girl comes to the table and asks for a slice. I look at her and she looks back at me, studying me curiously. Her eyes are serious and beautiful. Oh my . . . she looks like a porcelain doll, her hair curled and cascading down her back. She’s in a pretty pink dress with tights and cowboy boots. She’s a perfect little princess with vivid green eyes. With her beautiful light tan skin and caramel-colored hair, I can tell she’s going to be a beauty when she grows up.

Wow!

She smiles and my heart skips. Her smile is beautiful and I feel myself melting for her.

“Hi, my name is Rylee. What’s your name?” she asks me. “You look like a princess and my daddy can’t stop looking at you. He thinks you’re beautiful. That’s what I heard him tell his friends.”

I gasp. Why would he say that in front of his daughter? I refuse to be rude to her, so I answer her question.

“My name’s Faith and I think you’re the cutest little girl I’ve ever laid eyes on,” I tell her as I hand her a slice.

“Can you give me another piece but make that the biggest piece possible, please?” she asks.

I smile and cut another piece—making it “the biggest piece possible” and hand it to her. Her smiles gets even bigger and she thanks me, turns, and carefully walks back to her father.

When I glance up from watching her, a smile on my face, and look across the room, I see him again. His eyes are on me and he’s smiling. All I can think is—why does he have to be married? Sometimes, life really stinks.

No matter how hard I try, I can’t leave it alone. Since he’s married, I know there can’t be anything between us, but I can’t stop thinking about him. I need to know more. I’m curious and I feel horrible for wanting him, but something in me just won’t let it go.

So, I go where almost every woman goes for information—to my mother. I casually ask her about him, using the pretext that his daughter is adorable, which she truly is. My mother sees nothing amiss, so she tells me everything she knows—knowing I’m not one for gossip and won’t go around repeating.

Rylee, his daughter, is about five years old, going on thirty. She’s mature for her age and she loves soccer. “Maybe you can volunteer to coach her for a bit this winter during your break,” my mother suggests, since I live and breathe soccer. I intend to play professionally after college. Well, I dream of playing in the Women’s World Cup one day and am thinking of trying out for the 2003 team. Over the years, I convinced my parents to send me to every soccer camp available and I played club soccer for many years. I currently play college ball, and I’ve given up weekends and time with family and friends in order to practice and better my skills. I’ve been tired, sore, and I’ve bled and sweated for my love of the game. I understand the importance of starting young, so I agree and tell her I’ll speak to Daddy and have him pass on the offer.

She continues on about Rylee and her father.

He’s about five years and a few months older than me, putting him at twenty-three. He commissioned through Officer Candidate School after graduating college and putting himself through school and providing for his daughter by being in the Reserves. He’s worked hard to be both mother and father, a soldier, and full-time student. It was difficult at times, but he did it with the help of his family. Now, he’s completing Infantry Basic Officer Leadership Course (IBOLC) before heading out to his next duty station.

Rylee’s mother left them, telling him she wasn’t ready to be a mother at eighteen, and hasn’t had anything to do with them since then. She left him to raise Rylee alone. He joined the military to make sure his daughter was protected and make his own way. He’s a single father doing his best to raise his little girl.

It was a heartbreaking and inspiring story, but the only thing I could think was He’s not married!

Feeling empowered by this information, I decide to introduce myself. I take a deep breath and approach him. He’s standing by the food table, facing away from me. I go up to him, thanking God he’s by himself.

I reach him, tap his shoulder to get his attention, and inform him, “You’re gonna think I’m crazy but I just want to let you know that I plan to marry you one day. We have to get to know each other, but I know you and me, we’re meant to be together—forever.”

I see his shock. He doesn’t even know my name and here I am claiming him. He stands there looking at me, but I don’t waver. He’s going to be mine. Then, he smiles. His eyes turn tender and I want to throw myself at him and kiss him. That look he gives me and his smile make me feel all gooey inside.

“You know your father’s gonna go crazy, right? I’m one of his soldiers and his princess is claiming me. I’m older than you and a single father,” he tells me. “Are you willin’ to take that on?”

I meet his eyes, hoping he sees my determination.

“You’re the handsomest man I’ve ever seen. You’ve taken it upon yourself to raise your little girl, who is precious by the way, without complaint. She adores you, and she informed me you said I was beautiful. Those men over there,” I point to the group of guys he was speaking to earlier, “offer you their friendship and at the same time, they look at you for leadership and they respect you. Knowing the world we live in, I know that isn’t easily given or offered, it has to be earned and it speaks highly of the person you are. When I first saw you, I felt a jolt go through my body. I know you’re meant to be mine and I’m meant to be yours. I may be young, but I know what I feel for you is strong and I can’t go against that. It’s crazy and impossible but I know it’s real and meant to be. I want to be with you forever.”

We spent the rest of that day and the following weeks getting to know each other. I helped Rylee with soccer, running easy drills with her and sometimes pushing her a bit more than normal for a five-year-old, but she was that good and loved it.

But, I kept a secret.

I didn’t tell him my age that night, nor did I tell him the times I met him and Rylee for breakfast, lunch, or soccer practice. It wasn’t until my parents’ New Year’s celebration that he discovered the truth. To say he was pissed is putting it mildly. He was
livid.

I smile at the memory.

I don’t think I ever remembered Jake being so angry before.

It was my parents’ New Year’s celebration and Daddy had just bragged to his friends that all I needed was one more semester and I’d be a college graduate at eighteen.

Unfortunately, Jake happened to overhear this before I could tell him, and he was not happy. I don’t know how, but he somehow managed to get me out of the house without my parents or friends noticing.