Learn to Fly (37 page)

Lenny had been only
twelve but she was bold and daring and full of natural talent. Duke
took the little bird under his wing and taught her all he knew. She
gave him a reason to get up even when the depression threatened to
force him to drink again. She took that information he gave her and
turned herself into a legend. He started to only see her in the
winter as school and competing took first place. But they stayed in
good contact by phone.

Then, after she had
graduated high school at midterm, she wanted to take a trip into the
back country of Alaska and ride some fresh powder. Duke hustled up
some of his old riding buddies and arranged a two week trip for his
protégé.

But when Bird showed
up, she wasn’t this gangly little middle schooler anymore. She
was nineteen and had transformed into a woman with unrivaled beauty.
Her time spent on the mountains all over the world had given her an
untamed, natural allure that was fiercely captivating. Duke spent
most of the trip threatening his friends every time one of them so
much as glanced at her.

His buddies did
their best to show off but Lenny would match them, challenge for
challenge. She had finally come into her own and Duke had nothing
left to teach her.

That’s where
it had happened. That’s where Duke began to look at her with
brand new eyes. She was wild and unstoppable and fearless. He
admired her for her talent and strength and courage. And little by
little, he allowed himself to fall in love with her, knowing that
nothing could ever come of it. She saw him as an old man, and a
friend. And Duke was content with that, feeling blessed to have her
friendship, to be that close to a wildfire and not get burned.

Duke had turned
thirty during that trip to Alaska. He was in the prime of his
physical riding career. But even at the top of his game, he took a
little spill. He wrecked pretty majorly, cracking a couple ribs and
getting bruised all to hell. Lenny had taken careful diligence to
patch him back up, chewing him out the whole time for being reckless.
He knew he would never forget the way her hands felt on his skin.
Or how her hair fell past her face and tickled his bare chest as she
leaned over to pack ice around his shoulder. He knew that was the
closest that he’d ever get. And he had savored every second.

His little
confession the night before hadn’t come back up. He knew she
hadn’t forgotten it, not with her perfect memory, but he didn’t
want to talk about it anyway. He knew she needed someone that could
offer her more than he could. He had accepted that years ago. He had
risked his heart and his heart alone, he could deal with that.

***

They crested the top
of Lenny’s favorite ridge and she felt her heart beating faster
and it wasn't just from the climb. The mountains opened up before
her and she could see for miles.

“
I
never get tired of that.” Duke breathed next to her. Lenny
could only nod.

He turned and waited
for her to make the first move.

“
I
don’t know if I can do this Duke.” Lenny was thinking
about trying to convince him that it wasn’t time, she wasn’t
ready.

“
This
is how it’s going to work.” Duke was all business.
“You're gonna strap in, then you’re gonna dig your chute,
then you’re whole life is gonna change.”

“
How
do you know?” Lenny was half stalling and half really wanting
to know. “How do you know this is the answer?”

“
Lenny,
you have to try,” he said gently. “I’ll be right
here if anything goes wrong.”

Lenny took a deep
breath. She leveled off the space where she would start her line and
looked down the mountainside. Her legs were trembling and her heart
was racing. She looked at Duke, her eyes pleading for another way,
but she knew she had to do it. Now that she was up there, she could
feel an old persistence creeping up from her toes and making its way
to her head.

She had to go.

She had to fly.

She knew she was
moving quickly but it felt like slow motion. She could feel the
texture of the snow as it bent beneath her, carving a perfect path.
She let go of all she had been holding back and images started to
flash through her mind. Her fight with Shane, walking in on him and
Cody getting dressed, the following argument. The initial crash, the
slow process of recovery, fights with her parents, avoiding Shane,
running away with Double Blind Study, Luke. Luke and his voice and
his lips and his amazingly strong arms.

She veered to the
left, following her instincts, taking her line over a ridge and going
airborne. The rush was intoxicating. It was better than she had
remembered. She landed gracefully, fluidly. Her body a perfectly
oiled machine, moving and adjusting with the terrain before her. She
controlled her speed, enjoying every twist and edge. Her mind was
finally starting to put things in order.

This is where she
belonged, out in the open. Free.

Not the
condescending “Freebird” that Cody and Shane had
constantly called her which was more a ridicule than a nickname. No,
more innocent than that. Duke had given her the nickname “Bird”
the first time he met her. He compared her to a lark and would
always quote lines from his favorite George Meredith poem to her
while they hiked up to a new chute. As she went over another lip and
caught even more air than before, his voice echoed through her mind

He rises and
begins to round,

He drops the
silver chain of sound

Of many links
without a break,

In chirrup,
whistle, slur and shake,

All intervolved
and spreading wide,

Like water
dimples down a tide

Where ripple
ripple overcurls

And eddy into
eddy whirls;

A press of
hurried notes that run

So fleet they
scarce are more than one,

Yet changing-ly
the trills repeat

And linger
ringing while they flee,…

In that moment, as
she seemed to hover in the air with Duke's voice echoing through her
head and the images of what had happened flashed before her, she
realized that it wasn't her fault. What Shane and Cody had done was
their choice. She didn't
earn
their betrayal. The blame
belonged on them. And it had been wrong for them to try to put it on
her. But it had been even worse that she had allowed them to blame
her.

She allowed them to
make her feel like she had no worth, like she was nothing. And she
had started running, slowly at first and then gaining momentum with
her decision to make that interview with Carl. She thought if she
got far enough away, she'd stop feeling so trapped in her own
weakness. But only facing the truth of what had happened could truly
release her. She finally felt absolved of the guilt that had
accompanied their disloyalty and vilification.

Lenny landed safely
again, nearly breathless. Her mind having been put right and finally
at peace. She guided the board expertly to a stop and pushed her
goggles up on her head.

She
could see Duke making his descent and she shook her head.
He
never followed her line. It was like an unspoken rule between them.
They each had to find their own way. He came to the edge of a ridge
she knew was too steep of a drop, that’s why she had avoided
it. She held her breath, hoping against her own gut that he wouldn’t
go for it.

“
Sonofabitch…”
Lenny muttered as Duke dropped off the ridge and out of view. She
waited for a few seconds, her heart starting to thud in her chest.
Suddenly, Duke sprang over a slope and raged down the rest of the
mountain. Lenny breathed a sigh of relief.

Duke came skidding
to a stop right in front of her, huge grin plastered on his face.

“
Did
you see that? Thought I was a goner for sure!” He yelled
excitedly.

“
You
scared me half to death!” Lenny yelled back, laughing.

Duke disengaged his
boots and scooped her up in a huge hug. She laughed freely as he
swung her around. She hadn't forgotten how to fly after all.

Lenny and Duke had
been gone all day. It was only mid-afternoon but it might as well
have been midnight with the way Luke's head was messing with him. He
was trying really hard to be the rational, reasonable guy that his
band mates knew and loved but having Lenny out in the wilderness with
a man who was undoubtedly in love with her had pushed his rationality
over a cliff.

Jealously wasn't
something that Luke had ever had to deal with. Not since high school
anyway. He felt like an idiot. Even after Duke had all but given
his blessing the night before, Luke still felt...tense.

“
Here
they come.” Mike interrupted his brooding and nodded out the
large windows facing the back of the house. Sure enough, two
snowmobiles were pulling up out back.

Lenny disembarked
and said something to Duke before entering the house through the back
door. Duke drove his sled towards the garage to put it away.

“
Hey
guys!” Lenny's face was red from the cold and she had snow
stuck in her hair. She took off her hat and gloves and started
removing her coat.

“
How
was it?” Harrison bounded across the room and jumped onto the
back of the sofa, eager for the recap.

Lenny laughed at him
and Luke noticed that it was louder, more released than before. Her
smile was wide and her face radiant. He thought she was beautiful
before but this was a whole new experience.

“
It
was...perfect.” Lenny giggled again and the guys exchanged
puzzled smiles.

Mike was the only
one who seemed to not be surprised. He grinned broadly and wrapped
her into a hug. Her arms encircled him in return and they shared a
moment that Luke knew he'd never fully grasp.

“
So,
what happens now?” Blake frowned and crossed his arms. “Are
you leaving the tour or what?” Luke hadn't even considered
that Lenny being able to return to snowboarding might mean her
leaving their lives.

“
Of
course not!” Lenny exclaimed as her hug with Mike ended. “You
can't get rid of me that easily.” Her eyes swung over to Luke
and she said a thousand different things to him with that one look.
A recklessness burned on the edge of her irises and he realized that
something in her had been awakened in the past few hours. It was a
definite turn on.

“
But,
I have to fill you in on a few...unsavory details of my life.”
Lenny made a face as she entered the kitchen. “You guys
hungry? I'm starving, I need nutrients.”

The band gathered in
the kitchen and Lenny fixed them up with sandwiches. Duke joined
them after he had put the sleds away and Lenny calmly explained the
details of her 'reckoning' as Duke had called it. The group absorbed
the information and came to the same collective opinion. That Shane
was the worst and Cody was the devil.

Luke hoped that he
and Lenny would have a second chance at their conversation from the
night before. Having been filled in on the details of her
relationship with Shane now Luke could absolutely see how the two
didn't compare. He wasn't Shane, and he never would be. He needed
to make sure that Lenny understood that.

“
This
probably changes a lot of things about Aspen.” Sway stated the
obvious.

“
I
still have to go.” Lenny threw a towel at Duke when he rolled
his eyes. “Contractual obligations. But I would still love it
if you guys all joined me.” She looked around at them
hopefully.

“
Of
course we’ll be there, mama.” Blake grinned
mischievously.

“
Absolutely.”
Sway agreed, linking eyes with Blake and mirroring his smile.

“
Are
we gonna have a talk with Shane?” Harrison asked, noticing his
friends weird behavior.

“
You’re
awesome at subtly, you know that?” Blake closed his eyes in
frustration.