Learning (17 page)

“And seven years.” Their mom waved her spoon at him. “You’re on your way, Justin. Bailey’s right.” Their mom raised her eyes in Bailey’s direction. “Your dad has the boys on a strength and speed training series for the summer. They’re all bigger and faster than when you left.”

Bailey smiled at the idea, but it made her sad too. Her brothers were growing up without her, while she was fighting to make a name for herself in New York City. And for what? She looked at Justin and then she glanced around the house. One day everything here, everything she could hear or see or know would be gone. And in these final seasons of life as she’d known it, she spent her time alone in Manhattan ineffective in every possible way.

The day stretched out sunny and beautiful — like almost every July Fourth Bailey could remember. Ninety degrees and a light breeze, with only some of the humidity that was bound to hit full force any day. She played frisbee on the shore with her brothers and tried not to remember how last year at this time she was playing catch with Cody. Tried to forget the way they’d both wound up in the lake trying to grab the football at the same time.

Bailey stepped away from the game long enough to catch her breath, and as she did she surveyed the group around her. The Baxter family was doing great — all of them here with their families. Landon Blake looked thinner than usual, and she remembered that he was struggling with some problem in his lungs. But otherwise, he and Ashley looked happy.

Even Katy and Dayne and their little girl Sophie had made it back home for the annual picnic. The laughter and joy among the group was again enough to make her want to forget ever going
back to New York. She had nothing in common with the cast, and if there were more qualified dancers who could take her spot, then so be it. But here was the thing. She couldn’t give up that easily. Not after spending a lifetime dreaming about performing on Broadway. God had opened this door, Bailey was convinced. Now she would have to work harder than anyone else to keep her spot.

She sat on the edge of an open picnic table and watched her brothers. She was about to join them again when Katy Hart Matthews took the spot beside her. She was tanned — probably from her time in Los Angeles — and breathless from racing her little girl around the beach all afternoon. But now her husband, Dayne, had Sophie by the hand. “Whew … it’s getting hot.”

“It is.” The breeze had let up, and the sun was hot on their shoulders. She welcomed the partial shade of the trees that lined the picnic area.

“So,” Katy caught her breath and grinned at Bailey. “How’s New York?”

Bailey wondered how much she should say. Katy was her first drama instructor, after all. The person whose belief in Bailey was second only to her parents and Brandon. “Not great. Not really.”

“Bailey … I’m sorry.” A troubled look quieted Katy’s tone. “I feel so out of the loop spending most of my time in California.”

“It’s okay.” She sighed, glad there were no traces of this morning’s tears. “At first glance everyone looks so happy, dancing and singing about the sixties.”

Katy nodded. “New York can be a tough place.”

“So hard.” She sighed, her eyes on the blue sky ahead. The story about Francesca spilled out, how Bailey wasn’t making the grade no matter how hard she tried. “There’s more. One girl is anorexic, and lots are on drugs. And so much homosexuality.”

“In Los Angeles too.” Katy’s expression held no judgment, just a deep sorrow. “Our culture celebrates it these days.”

“Exactly. If someone asked me what the Bible said about
it, and if I told them the truth, I feel like they’d shoot me.” She squinted against the sharp afternoon sun. “You know?”

“I do. It’s hard to be a light in the entertainment industry.” Katy smiled, and a peace resonated with her. “But it’s possible. Otherwise, God wouldn’t have put you there.” She was quiet and the laughter and voices of their families filled the air around them. “Maybe God’s closing the door on Broadway.” Her tone was easy. “If you ever want to do movies, Bailey, … you could live with Dayne and me.” She slipped her arm around Bailey’s shoulders and hugged her. “Just so you know.”

“Thanks.” Bailey leaned her head on Katy’s shoulder. The offer meant more than Katy could ever know. But even so the timing felt wrong. She stood and grabbed the suntan lotion from the table. Her shoulders were getting burned for sure. “I mean, I can handle it in New York, and I’m willing to work harder. I guess I’m not sure I’m doing all I can to help the cast, to make an impact. Or even to keep my job.” She poured the lotion into her hand and worked it into her left arm. “Like maybe God’s disappointed in me.”

“Bailey,” Katy looked straight at her. “God’s not disappointed in you. He’s just not finished with you. That’s all.”

The sound of that soothed Bailey’s uncertain soul. “Just pray for me … that I’ll hear His voice … do whatever He wants me to do.” She finished putting the lotion on her other arm and set the bottle back down. “Thanks again … for the offer. That means a lot.” She thought about Brandon, how happy he’d be if she moved to LA and focused on film. A smile started in her heart and made it to her eyes. “I’ll pray about it. You never know.”

They talked a little while longer about the cast, and Bailey’s frustrations. “I think my faith bugs people. Which is okay … it’s just sad.”

“What makes you think that?” Katy didn’t sound surprised, just curious.

“I told Chrissy I pray about my performances.” Bailey sat back down beside Katy on the picnic table. “I’ve talked with her a few times about God, and then last week … she told me the rest of the cast knows.”

“About your faith?”

“Yes.” Bailey had never experienced anything like this, the way she felt like an outsider because she loved Jesus. “They have such a bad view of Christians. They think we’re all hateful and judgmental. That’s the vibe I get anyway.” She thought for a moment. “I mean, I can see it in the eyes of half the guys when they walk past me, like they’re mad at me for something I haven’t even done.”

“Hmmm.” Katy’s tone held a wealth of understanding. “They see God in you — even though you’re not perfect. And God scares a lot of people. They aren’t used to being around someone who loves Jesus. It’s completely foreign.”

Bailey looked at the ground, fighting the defeat that clouded her soul. “My dad told me to shine for Jesus on Broadway.” She sat a little straighter. “How can I do that when almost everyone I’ve met doesn’t seem to believe in Him?”

“It’s a tough question.” Katy smiled, thoughtful. “But Bailey, honestly … have you actually talked to them? Or does it just seem that way?”

The question hit her straight at the center of her soul. Katy still knew her so well. “I’ve kept pretty quiet.”

“That’s understandable.” She smiled. “It’s why you still have your spot in the show. God wants more from you.”

The possibility seemed pretty right on.

Katy glanced at her. “I’m not sure I have the answers. But the Bible says to love … if we love people, they’ll know we are Christians and they’ll want what we have.”

“True.” Bailey still wasn’t sure what that would look like. How was she supposed to love people who didn’t like her? People who
understandably doubted her talent and maybe even resented her place on the cast? “Pray for me … that I’ll be bolder.”

“I will.” Her eyes only accentuated her promise. “So what’s this about Brandon Paul? We run into him now and then. He’s a nice guy … totally different from what everyone says.” Katy grinned. “Because of a certain someone’s influence in his life.”

“I didn’t do much.” her heart felt lighter as she said the words. “I like Brandon. He’s fun. He makes me laugh all the time.”

“And Cody?” Katy knew more about Cody than anyone outside her family. After all, she lived with the Flanigans in the same season Cody lived with them.

“Nothing.” Bailey couldn’t hide her sorrow in her voice. “He doesn’t talk to me at all.”

“Guys …” Katy frowned. “He still cares, Bailey. No matter how distant he seems. I know him that well, at least.” She waited, letting her statement settle for a few seconds. “God will make it all clear in time.” She stood and shaded her eyes. “Better go help with dinner. Smells like the barbecue’s ready.”

Bailey thanked her again and Katy ran off to be with Dayne and Sophie. After a few minutes, the boys stopped playing football and the Flanigans worked together to get their own barbecue on the table. The smells and sounds, the feel of everyone together on the Fourth. All of it made her think about Cody, and how they’d been last year at this time. Happy and together. Why would he stop by her parents’ house, hang out with her brothers and visit with her mom and dad — and yet make no effort whatsoever to contact her? Okay, so he had a girlfriend … and she had Brandon. But after so many years could he really pretend she’d never existed?

Sure, she could text him … make the first move. But she’d done that last time — when she drove to Indianapolis and found him at the hospital with Cheyenne. She’d even given him the box of things he’d left at her house. So if he was interested, it was his
turn to reach out. Like her mom had said a few months ago … next time around, he’d have to pursue her like a dying man needing water in the desert. And no matter how she wanted to enjoy this July Fourth, no matter how much she loved the time with her family and the talk with Katy, there was no avoiding the painful truth when it came to Cody Coleman. He wasn’t pursuing her like a dying man needing water in a desert. He wasn’t pursuing her at all. Between that and the uncertainty of her place in New York City, Bailey could only hold onto the truth Katy had shared before dinner. Somehow, someway … God would make all things clear to her in time.

Even if that truth was hard to believe today.

T
HE EXCITEMENT THROUGHOUT
L
YLE
, I
NDIANA, WAS SO PALPA
ble Cody could feel it in the air … see it on the faces of the guys hanging out together in front of TJ’s Hardware and Feed store on Main Street … hear it in the voice of Hank who pumped gas for Meijer’s at the corner of Franklin and First. Already signs hung in the windows of the Curl and Cut and Sandy’s Diner:
Go Buckaroos!

Look Out World … Lyle Football’s Back!

Several stores had information at their front counters about today’s barbecue, the official kickoff of the Lyle football season. From what Ms. Baker had told Cody, the barbecue had fallen by the wayside in the last few years. Coach Oliver hadn’t thought it was important. Didn’t see that a losing season was worth celebrating after the fact, and couldn’t imagine anything exciting enough about the future to convince an entire town to come out for a barbecue under the sweltering July sun.

Cody disagreed. A few minutes talking with Ms. Baker and he had permission to reinstate the barbecue. “It’s going to be a great year,” he told her. “I mean … the kids are capable of big things. I really believe that.”

Her smile told him much about the relief she felt with Cody in charge. “Thank you, Mr. Coleman. The kids … the town … we all appreciate your efforts. You may never know how much.”

While he was in her office, Cody asked about Coach Oliver. Apparently the man was getting counseling for his anger issues,
and feeling happier without the burden of coaching and teaching. “It was time for him to step down. A good move for everyone.”

Now it was the day of the barbecue, and Cody had gotten out of bed at six in the morning, unable to sleep. He did pushups and sit-ups and ran three miles through his neighborhood, and still made it back in time to whip up a batch of pancakes for DeMetri. As it turned out, his roommate moved back home for good a few weeks after DeMetri moved in. The rent was a little steep for Cody to handle on his own, but he’d worked out his budget. DeMetri needed to focus on school and football. And since the kid didn’t have a car there was no way he could get a job. Instead he made it his personal goal to keep the apartment spotless. Together they were making it work.

Cody wasn’t much of a cook, but he’d learned a lot this past year. Cooking was something he needed to know — especially since DeMetri’s arrival. He could handle a few basic breakfast menus now — scrambled eggs, omelets, pancakes … and a small assortment of chicken and beef dinners. Enough for him and DeMetri to get by. He’d gotten the okay from Ms. Baker and the administration to have DeMetri live with him, and the boy’s mom had signed over guardianship from prison a week ago. DeMetri was seventeen, but he was still a minor. The paperwork needed to be in order and now it was.

From the back room Cody heard DeMetri get up and make his bed. Again the situation reminded him of his place in the Flanigan house years ago. He flipped the pancakes and thought about the cycle of life. He wasn’t doing much, really. Just giving DeMetri a place to live, a way to be safe and successful in school and sports.

He smiled to himself. All his life he had wanted to thank the Flanigans for what they’d done for him, the way they’d taken him in and showed him what it looked like to live a life for God … to work hard and be successful. Now he understood. The best way
he could thank the Flanigans was to do that very thing for someone else. Someone like DeMetri.

Through breakfast DeMetri asked Cody about a number of plays they’d learned. They had playbooks now, and DeMetri had told him that the guys were more excited about football than they’d ever been. The kid was chatty, which Cody liked. So many high school boys didn’t talk much. He had a feeling DeMetri would be a part of his life for a long time. His mother was serving a five-year sentence, and he had no one else.

They picked up Cheyenne on the way out of town, but Tara couldn’t come. It was a Friday, and she was still at work. Chey took the middle seat, since Cody’s truck didn’t have a back row. Cheyenne was moving around easier now. The walker was gone, and she wouldn’t need her cane for long.

As they set out, she situated herself and buckled her belt. “So this is a big deal, huh? The barbecue kickoff?”

“It used to be.” DeMetri was still a little shy around her.

Cody liked DeMetri’s maturity, how he didn’t blame the loss of the picnic on Coach Oliver. No reason to bring up the coach’s name now — especially in light of the fact that he was suffering from a stress disability. He kept his eyes on the road. “Ms. Baker thinks the whole town will show up.” The chamber of commerce had provided burgers, hot dogs, and a dunk tank.

“Sounds perfect.” Chey seemed comfortable close to his side.

On the way there they talked about tomorrow’s football camp. The team would meet at Lyle early in the morning and head for Butler University, where they would stay in dorms and compete with other high school teams from around the state. Butler was on the map lately because of its crazy successful run in the NCAA men’s basketball tournament, and the football program was strong as well. It was another part of Lyle football that had been dropped during Coach Oliver’s tenure.

“The guys are a little worried.” DeMetri leaned over his knees,
looking at Cody. “About camp. I mean, no cell phones? A lot of guys have a hard time with that.”

“They’ll be fine.” Cody had every hour of their time organized. Jim Flanigan had helped him figure out the best drills and workouts for their time away. “Camp’s always tough. But it’ll be fun.” Cody intended to live by the standards he’d set for the guys. No cell phones except for an emergency. Even where Cheyenne was concerned.

“I guess it’s not really the cell phone thing.” DeMetri sat back against his seat again. “They don’t know how they’ll do against the other teams. They don’t wanna let you down, Coach.”

The words hit Cody straight in the heart. That the guys cared that much now, from where they had started out when Cody took over … he was deeply touched. Somehow … despite his inexperience and the tough place the kids were in when he arrived, a change was happening at Lyle. They didn’t show up expecting to lose. They actually cared.

“Well … thanks for letting me know, Smitty. I’ll have to talk to them about that.”

“Don’t tell ‘em I said so.” He didn’t want the guys thinking he had an advantage because he lived with Cody.

“I won’t.” Cody peered over Cheyenne at him. “You know me better.”

“True.” A grin spread across DeMetri’s face. Cody captured the picture of the kid smiling, driving to the picnic with them. A few weeks ago he was living in the school’s wrestling room. Now he was happy and a lot more adjusted.

Cody fell quiet for the rest of the ride, enjoying the feel of Cheyenne beside him, the presence of DeMetri. He’d learned something about himself these past months. He had a purpose again. His counselor agreed that was the reason the flashbacks had all but stopped. Between Cheyenne and DeMetri, he felt
needed now. More than Cody had realized, he lived to help others. It was one more reason things hadn’t worked out with Bailey. She didn’t need him.

He let that thought slide loosely around the floor of his heart. Okay, she might’ve thought she needed him, because she had feelings for him. But Bailey could have whatever she wanted. She had the perfect family, the perfect life … and now she had a dream job and a relationship with the nation’s hottest young actor. What could she possibly need him for?

Enough time had passed, that he understood their breakup better. Subconsciously when he realized a few months ago that Bailey didn’t need him, he’d withdrawn from her — blaming it on the situation with his mom. Sure, there was danger because of the drug dealer his mom had dated. But still he could’ve stayed with Bailey … told her they needed to see each other less, and wait the situation out until the man was arrested. He didn’t have to walk away from her the way he did.

But deep down he knew she didn’t need him — and that had triggered his decision to run, which in turn led to his nightmares and flashbacks. Because without Bailey he had been without purpose.

He felt the urge to reach for Cheyenne’s hand, but he held back. DeMetri had asked about her, whether they were dating … and Cody had told him no. It wouldn’t set a very good example if he held her hand now — when they were supposed to be only friends.

The picnic was set up at the fairgrounds — since the football field wouldn’t have been large enough for so many people. Cody guessed just about every retired guy in a ten-mile radius showed up to flip burgers and hand out hot dogs. He wasn’t good at estimating the number of people in a crowd, but it felt like Ms. Baker was right — the whole town had shown up. Not only that, but they’d each brought a friend.

An hour after the picnic’s official start time — just before dinner was served — the Lyle mayor took his place on a makeshift podium and asked everyone to move to one side of the field. “It’s now my pleasure to introduce to you this year’s Lyle High football team!”

The entire crowd broke into loud applause and cheers, a show of support that amazed Cody and continued through the introduction of every boy on the team. When Cody’s name was announced, the crowd grew louder still. The mayor also welcomed two teachers — Mr. Schroeder and Mr. Braswell, both of whom would assist the Buckaroos this year.

When the team was lined up, facing the crowd, the mayor asked for another round of applause. Cody blinked, not quite believing the response. How had God been so good to bring him here and allow him to take over a team with so much love and support? He had a feeling that they could win one game this year and the town would be thrilled. Ready to welcome them back at the barbecue next summer.

“These boys leave tomorrow morning for camp,” the mayor told them, his voice rich with hope. The sun beat down on them, and sweat beaded up on the man’s bald head. He didn’t seem to mind. “So now I’d like everyone to bow their heads and join me in a prayer for our team. That they’ll find something special while they’re at camp.” He paused. “Something that’s been missing for a few years.”

That was as close as the mayor came to talking about the dismal winless seasons Lyle had recently suffered. Cody watched, mesmerized as the entire crowd quieted. Men and boys removed their baseball and cowboy hats, and everywhere he looked, families and small groups held hands as they bowed their heads. When the mayor was satisfied that the picnic crowd was ready, he began, his voice booming across the fairgrounds.

“Dear Lord, we bring to You our Lyle High football team, and
we ask that You bless their efforts while they’re at camp.” His voice rang with unabashed sincerity. “This team is capable of much … and our town believes in them. Now, Father, we ask Your blessing not only on their time at camp, but on their season … May they dedicate every game to You out of gratitude for how You’ve blessed us all. And may Lyle’s season be so successful that people everywhere would know about us, and how at least here You still reign in small-town America.” The mayor’s prayer was as simple as it was profound. It was met with a roaring applause that was greater than anything yet that afternoon.

Cody felt a shiver of awe run down his spine. Did they know what they had here in Lyle? How out of the ordinary it was that a small-town mayor might rally his people to pray for the football team? The mayor was going on, talking about the upcoming season and how he hoped to see the stands packed for every game.

He caught himself gazing down the line at his team, the ragtag group of guys who hadn’t believed in themselves whatsoever until a few months ago. Yes, they struggled with grades and girls, and the sort of partying that had nearly destroyed Cody when he was that age. But one by one, Cody was meeting with the guys, talking to them, and confronting them with evidence and alternatives. For many of them he’d issued ultimatums: Quit partying … quit climbing through windows at girlfriends’ houses … get the grades up. Otherwise they would lose their place on the roster. And the guys were responding better than he’d imagined.

Dear God,… I’m not worthy of the challenge ahead,
he prayed silently.
But with You … with You all things are possible. So let us play for You this year … like the mayor said. And let everyone, everywhere know that where Your name is called upon, Your people can win battles they never should’ve won. Thank You, Father …

I am with you, son. You will do great things this year in My strength … watch and see …

Thank You, Father … if that’s You … thank You.
Despite the
muggy heat of the late afternoon, a chill ran through Cody again. He liked to think in moments like this that the voice he had heard in his heart was really that of the Lord. But it seemed hard to believe that he might take the Buckaroos from two winless seasons to anything truly noteworthy in his first year as head coach. A few wins, yes. A better attitude, of course. But great things? He tried to believe the possibility.

All around him people were crossing the field, coming up to him and the team. “Coach, … we’re pulling for you.” And, “This is your year, Coach.” Cody shook more hands than he could count and held the same conversation over and over again. The townspeople wishing him well, and Cody thanking them for their support.

Cody must’ve held a hundred conversations like that before he saw Cheyenne walking his way. She used her cane, but she walked faster than she had last week. Their eyes met over the crowd, and she smiled, as if to say she was proud of him. When she reached him, she waited nearby until every townsperson had welcomed him, and when they had returned to their picnic blankets and lawn chairs, she walked up and gave him a quick hug. “Wow … I didn’t know you were famous.”

“Faith, family, and football.” Cody slid his hands in his pockets and chuckled. “That’s Lyle — the town and the school.”

“I love it.” Cheyenne walked beside him as they returned to their chairs — set up near the barbecue tent and close to the players. “I didn’t think there were still places like this.”

“Me either.” He breathed in deeply through his nose, imagining the challenge ahead. “I hope they’re this supportive if we don’t win a game.”