Least Said (30 page)

‘Great
minds
think
alike.’
It
was
Lucy
Prendergast,
still
very
blonde
and
tanned
from
her
honeymoon
in
the
sun.
Will
and
her
son,
Tristan,
fell
upon
each
other
as
if
they
hadn’t
seen
one
another
just
a
couple
of
days
ago
when
we’d
taken
them
to
the
park,
with
Jade
and
Molly
as
well.

She
chattered
on
about
the
wedding
cake
I’d
made
for
them
and
how
it
was
still
fresh
enough
to
be
boxed
and
handed
out
to
all
those
people
they
had
forgotten
about.
I
just
let
her
words
wash
over
me
and
looked
my
fill
of
her
gorgeous
baby
daughter.

Several
months
old
now,
Trixie
was
sitting
up,
strapped
into
her
buggy
and
busy
throwing
toys
–
literally
-
out
of
her
pram.
I
stooped
to
return
a
Peppa
Pig
soft
toy
and
was
rewarded
with
a
beaming
smile
that
showed
off
two
brand
new
front
teeth.

I
interrupted
Lucy’s
flow
of
words
to
say,
‘Trixie
has
two
teeth.
I
hadn’t
even
realised
she
was
teething.
Aren’t
babies
usually
cranky
when
they
have
teeth
coming
through?’

Lucy
laughed
and
admitted
ruefully,
‘I
hadn’t
realised
myself
until
she
chewed
on
my
nipple.
I
decided
quite
quickly
it
was
time
Trixie
was
weaned.’

‘She’s
gorgeous.’

I
retrieved
another
toy
and
was
rewarded
with
another
huge
smile.
I
couldn’t
help
but
imagine
myself
in
Lucy’s
position
with
the
two
children
that
I
had
always
thought
made
up
the
perfect
family,
but
I
was
also
forced
to
admit
that
I
had
more
reasons
than
most
to
yearn
for
the
arrival
of
a
second
child.

A
little
girl
like
Trixie
–
I
tried
to
imagine
what
that
would
be
like
–
and
then
hastily
changed
the
picture
to
one
of
me
holding
a
baby
boy,
because
I
really
didn’t
care
at
all.
Just
please
let
me
be
pregnant,
I
pleaded
silently
to
whoever
was
in
charge
of
the
universe,
and
I
will
spend
the
rest
of
my
life
being
the
perfect
wife
and
mother
and
never
ask
for
anything
ever
again.

The
two
boys
as
usual
took
simply
ages
to
make
up
their
minds.
Also
as
usual
they
started
with
the
biggest
boxed
sets
they
could
find
and
then
gradually
worked
down
to
something
of
a
more
acceptable
size
and
price.

We
turned
to
walk
to
the
check
o
ut,
and
I
started
to
joyfully
anticipate
walking
through
the
baby
department,
realising
that
having
Lucy
and
Trixie
with
me
was
going
to
be
the
perfect
excuse
to
linger
and
to
finger
those
gorgeous
little
pink
dresses
hanging
there
so
sweetly
on
the
hangers.

I
hid
my
impatience
with
difficulty
as
the
boys
tarried
to
gaze
at
a
bunch
of
ugly
figurines
from
some
popular
TV
show
and
breathed
a
sigh
of
relief
when
Jade
encouraged,
‘Come
on
boys,
we
must
just
have
a
quick
look
at
the
baby
toys
and
you
can
help
to
choose
something
for
Trixie.’

Tristan
and
Will
were
behind
us,
but
they
hurried
to
catch
up,
and
I
could
hear
Tristan
advising,
‘She
likes
Peppa
Pig
the
most.’

‘Yes,
she
does,’
Lucy
agreed.
‘I
could
sit
her
in
front
of
Peppa
Pig’s
DVDs
all
day
if
I
was
a
bad
parent,
but
they
do
come
in
handy
when
I
have
to
get
something
done.’

We
were
both
laughing
as
we
recollected
the
boys’
early
obsession
with
In The Night Garden
.
I
was
almost
having
palpitations
as
we
moved
steadily
towards
the
baby
department.
Then
I
felt
Will
tugging
at
the
hem
of
my
t-shirt
and
turned
to
see
what
he
wanted.

‘Mummy,’
he
said,
pointing,
‘why
have
you
got
tomato
ketchup
on
your
trousers
when
we
haven’t
even
been
to
McDonalds
yet?
’

Chapter 8

I
don’t
know
how
I
managed
to
behave
so
normally.
Assuring
the
two
boys
that
the
blood
on
my
trousers
–
because
that’s
what
it
was
–
was
just
something
I’d
accidently
sat
in,
and
then
gratefully
accepting
Lucy’s
offer
to
include
William
in
their
plans
for
the
rest
of
the
day.

‘You’ll
want
to
go
home
and
clean
up,
Wendy,
and
by
the
time
you’ve
showered
and
changed
you
might
not
feel
like
coming
back
out.
I
usually
feel
like
crap
on
the
first
day
of
my
period.’
She
said
all
of
this
very
kindly,
but
she
had
no
idea,
none
at
all
about
just
how
crap
I
was
going
to
feel
–
when
I
eventually
allowed
myself
to
feel.

I
managed
to
make
my
feeble,
‘Thank
you,
that’s
very
kind
of
you,’
sound
suitably
appreciative.

‘No
problem
at
all,’
Lucy
assured
me,
but
she
must
have
noticed
something
out
of
the
ordinary,
because
then
she
added,
‘but
you
actually
look
quite
pale,
Wendy.
Perhaps
it
would
be
best
if
I
drove
you
home
and
let
Jon
pick
your
car
up
from
here
later.’

I
rallied,
and
said,
‘Nonsense,
I’ll
be
absolutely
fine,’
probably
a
bit
too
heartily.
In
truth
I
was
holding
it
all
together
by
a
thread
and,
desperate
to
get
home
–
alone
–
I
ushered
them
all
towards
Lucy’s
car,
helped
strap
the
boys
safely
into
their
seats,
while
she
was
dealing
with
the
baby,
raced
to
my
own
car
and
drove
out
of
the
car
park
at
speed.

I
was
crying
long
before
I
reached
home,
and
I
turned
the
radio
up
to
drown
out
my
own
howls
of
grief.
I
knew
it
was
ridiculous
to
be
grieving
for
a
baby
that
had
never
existed,
but
it
had
existed
to
me.
Those
few
days
before
my
period
arrived
had
been
enough
to
convince
me
that
a
child
was
on
the
way.
In
my
mind,
I
had
been
rushing
ahead
to
the
burgeoning
belly,
the
full
breasts
–
I
had
even
been
looking
forward
to
morning
sickness,
for
God’s
sake
–
and
most
of
all
to
holding
another
baby
in
my
arms.

I
had
been
so
sure,
so
bloody
sure
that
Jon
and
I
could
create
a
baby
together,
another
baby
,
a
baby
that
was
going
to
lay
all
my
fears
and
doubts
about
William’s
conception
to
rest.
Now
all
of
my
doubts
and
uncertainties
were
back
and
I
was
over-whelmed
with
them.

The
drive
home
was
a
complete
blank
and
I
was
quite
shocked
when
I
found
myself
turning
into
the
driveway.
Lucy
had
doubtless
been
right
when
she’d
said
that
I
shouldn’t
drive,
and
it
frightened
the
life
out
of
me
to
realise
I
had
probably
been
a
danger
to
myself
and
everyone
else
on
the
road.
My
hand
was
shaking
so
much
as
I
tried
to
slot
the
key
into
the
lock
that
it
took
several
attempts
and
then
I
literally
fell
through
the
door,
landing
painfully
on
my
knees
where
I
stayed
sobbing
for
I
didn’t
quite
know
how
long.

‘Are
you
all
right?’

The
shock
of
hearing
a
strange
male
voice
right
behind
me
forced
me
to
somehow
grasp
the
shreds
of
my
dignity
and
pull
them
together,
suddenly
becoming
aware
of
what
I
must
look
and
sound
like.
I
peered
over
my
shoulder
at
the
tall
figure
blocking
the
doorway
and
my
heart
almost
stopped
beating
as
all
my
recent
fears
came
rushing
back
with
a
speed
that
was
frightening.
I
couldn’t
see
his
face,
because
the
sun
was
behind
him
casting
his
features
into
shadow,
but
there
was
no
doubt
in
my
mind
that
my
past
really
had
caught
up
with
me
this
time,
and
was
standing
on
my
doorstep
behind
me.

‘What
do
you
want?’
I
meant
to
utter
the
demand
harshly,
but
it
came
out
as
more
of
a
whimper.
‘Why
are
you
here?’

He
held
his
hand
out
and
when
I
saw
he
was
holding
some
kind
of
paperwork
I
almost
threw
up.
This
was
it
then,
the
moment
I
had
been
dreading
ever
since
I’d
set
eyes
on
the
Adonis
of
that
long
ago
wedding
reception
and
allowed
my
unfounded
anger
towards
my
husband
and
my
longing
for
a
child
to
get
the
better
of
me.