Least Said (71 page)

‘Oh,
you’re
so
welcome,
William.
They
were
absolutely
as
good
as
gold,’
she
told
me,
patting
Will’s
head.
‘Hey,
are
you
ok?’
she
asked.
‘You’re
as
pale
as
a
ghost.’

‘I’m
fine,’
I
assured
her,
though
I
was
feeling
far
from
it,
with
a
banging
headache
that
I
was
fully
aware
I
owed
to
low
blood
sugar
on
account
of
me
having
not
eaten
for
hours.

William
went
racing
off
to
look
for
Jon
and,
as
Lucy
and
I
said
our
goodbyes,
he
appeared
with
Will
hanging
from
his
neck
like
a
little
monkey.

Jon
nodded
to
Lucy
and,
as
I
closed
the
door
behind
her,
he
said,
‘I’m
on
bath-time
duty.’

Ignoring
Jon,
I
just
spoke
to
William,
saying
with
a
smile,
‘I’ll
be
up
to
tuck
you
in
later.’

It
was
all
I
could
do
not
to
run
full
pelt
to
the
kitchen
and
once
there
I
practically
threw
slices
of
bread
into
the
toaster,
swiftly
sliced
off
thick
slabs
of
cheese
from
the
block
ready
to
be
micro-waved
on
the
toast
as
soon
as
it
was
ready,
and
finally
put
the
kettle
on.
I
was
actually
drooling
as
I
carried
the
tray
loaded
with
toast
covered
in
melted
cheese
and
a
large
mug
of
tea
through
to
my
work
room.
Once
there
I
literally
fell
onto
the
delicious
food
like
a
slathering
beast
living
in
the
wild.

I
still
had
strands
of
cheese
trailing
from
my
chin,
when
I
looked
up
to
find
Jon
standing
in
the
doorway
staring
at
me.
‘I
just
came
to
tell
you
that
Will
is
waiting
for
you
to
tuck
him
in,’
after
a
slight
pause
he
added,
‘I
thought
you
said
you
weren’t
hungry.’

‘I
changed
my
mind,’
I
told
him
flatly,
and
pushing
past
him,
headed
for
the
stairs.

Will
was
already
half
asleep,
but
I
felt
no
urge
to
leave
my
sleepy
boy
for
the
cool
welcome
waiting
for
me
downstairs.
I
stayed,
smoothing
his
hair
back
from
his
forehead,
for
some
time
after
he
had
drifted
off
and
then
I
went
straight
back
to
my
work
room
and
picked
up
where
I
had
left
off
earlier.

I
didn’t
turn
when
the
door
opened
and
Jon
offered,
‘More
tea?’

‘No,
thank
you,’
I
said
without
hesitation,
even
though
a
cup
of
tea
would
have
been
so
very
welcome
at
that
moment
and
I
knew
I
was
just
cutting
off
my
nose
to
spite
my
face.

‘We
can’t
go
on
like
this.’

‘I
know,’
I
agreed,
finally
turning
to
look
at
him,
‘but
you
have
developed
a
habit
of
walking
away
when
I
–
or
anyone
else
–
try
to
talk
to
you,
so
nothing
ever
gets
resolved.
I
can’t
change
what’s
happened,
Jon
–
however
hard
that
is
for
you
to
accept
–
and
living
like
this
isn’t
the
answer
no
matter
how
hard
we
try
to
make
it
work
for
William.’

I
couldn’t
read
anything
into
Jon’s
set
expression.
‘So,’
he
said,
‘what
do
you
suggest?’

‘That
I
take
Will
away
for
the
half-term
holiday
next
week.
It
will
give
us
both
time
to
think.’

‘You’ll
go
to
London.’
It
wasn’t
a
question.

‘They
won’t
take
sides,
whatever
you
might
think
at
the
moment.
They
just
want
us
to
be
happy
–
preferably
all
together.
All
Tina
was
trying
to
do
was
to
point
out
that
there
might
be
faults
on
both
sides
and
that
everything
happens
for
a
reason.’

*

I
left
at
the
weekend
with
a
very
excited
Will
trundling
his
little
wheeled
suitcase
beside
me.
I
did
feel
a
pang,
because
it
was
the
first
time
we’d
been
away
without
Jon.
It
felt
as
if
our
little
family
was
already
disintegrating
and
I
had
to
swallow
deeply
to
prevent
the
bitter
tears
that
threatened
to
fall.
It
was
hard
to
accept
that
it
was
all
my
fault
that
this
was
happening
–
and
I
did
accept
that,
whatever
I
had
told
Jon
to
the
contrary.

After
making
us
welcome
and
ensuring
Will
and
I
had
everything
we
needed,
Tina,
Calum
and
Leanne
went
about
their
own
affairs
and
left
us
to
our
own
devices,
but
only
after
Calum
had
done
us
proud
by
securing
tickets
to
various
attractions
through
his
contacts,
enabling
us
to
enjoy
many
outings
that
it
would
have
been
impossible
for
us
to
gain
entrance
to
at
such
short
notice.