Left Behind: Left Behind Series #1 (10 page)

“This
old lady is getting tired,” she sighed and closed her eyes.

In
those few words, I knew what she was trying to tell me without actually saying
it. She fought all she could. She was ready to go. Tears instantly filled my
eyes, but I kept them in. Linda had warned me the week before that this would
be coming. “I know, Gram.”

“Will
you be okay if I just rest my eyes for a little bit?” My grandmother was asking
me if I’d be okay when she was gone, almost like she had been trying to hold
out until she knew she’d done everything she possibly could for me. I wanted to
scream “no”. I wanted to tell her I wasn’t giving her permission to die. That
I’d fall apart without her. But I couldn’t have done such a thing, even if it
would have given me one more day with her. I wouldn’t have made her feel any
guiltier than she already did about leaving me.

“I’ll
be just fine, Gram. I promise,” I whispered to her, afraid my tears were going
to escape.

“You
know, even when I’m asleep, I’ll still be here for you. I won’t ever miss one
thing. Graduation. Your wedding day. When you have a family of your own, and
all the days in between. I’ll still be here, cheering you on, holding you when
you need me.”

“I
know.” Unable to control them any longer, the tears started running down my
face. Gram squeezed my hand with all of her remaining strength. It wasn’t very
tight. I made up for it by grasping her hand tighter with both of mine.

“The
last twenty-one years have been the greatest of my life. No career, house, or
all the money in the world could have brought me more joy than being your
grandmother.” Gram started coughing, and I could tell it was painful. I didn’t
want her to waste her last breaths on me.

“Shh.
Just rest. You don’t have to talk.” She rolled her head over to face me. “I’m
everything I am because of you, Gram. I hope you know that.”

Her
coughing had calmed down, but her breathing became more uneven. “I do now,” she
told me with the biggest smile she had been able to manage. I leaned over and
kissed her forehead. In the last few months, cancer stole my grandmother’s
beautiful features. Her hair was much thinner. Her face was sunken in. A once
very strong, independent woman was reduced to a frail invalid, unable to get
out of bed on her own. “My greatest regret in life was not getting your father
to see you as I do. Perhaps he will someday. I’m not sure. You have to
remember, if nothing else, that he doesn’t define who you are. No one ever
should.”

“You
have nothing to regret, Gram,” I assured her. “Even though he’s your son, you
aren’t responsible for the way he has been to me. I never thought that. Not for
one second.”

Gram
closed her eyes and laid there silently for a few minutes. I thought she might
have dozed off. Then she opened them again, only not quite as far. “You’re
going to make a great teacher. Those kids are going to love you. Sometimes
you’ll feel like you haven’t done any good. That you could have done more.
Don’t give up because one day, even if it’s years from now, someone will tell
you how you’ve touched their life. Those moments are what we live for. They are
the reason people like us teach to begin with.”

“Okay.
I’ll remember.”

“I’m
so proud of you, sweetheart.”

“Thank
you, Gram. Thank you for everything. My life would have been completely
different if it wasn’t for you. Who knows where I would be right now if I
didn’t have you.”

Linda
came in to check the machines. She glanced at Gram before turning to me. With
one nod of her head, I knew the end was near. It was the last time I’d be able
to tell Gram anything, but the words wouldn’t come out. They were stuck behind
the lump in my throat and the tears streaming from my eyes. After putting a
fresh box of tissues beside me, the nurse graciously left the room.

“Do
you have any idea how much I love you, Kacie?” Gram managed to lift her other
hand to my face. Tears of her own were slowly falling down her cheek.

“As
much as I love you, Gram. Bunches and bunches,” I repeated the line she had
been saying to me since the day I was born.

“Exactly,”
she smiled one last time, then closed her eyes.

“Give
Grandpop a kiss for me.” I reached up and kissed her cheek, never letting her
hand slip from mine. “Sweet dreams, Gram.”

“Sweet
dreams, Kacie.”

I
wasn’t sure how much time passed from Gram’s last words until I realized she
was no longer gripping my hand. She hadn’t opened her eyes again. Suddenly, the
monitor next to the bed set off the loudest, most horrific alarm, letting me
know my grandmother was gone. Linda came rushing into the room to silence it.
She glanced down at the time on her watch before she walked out of the room
again. For the first time since she had been hired, she closed the door behind
her, allowing me to grieve the loss of the most amazing woman I had ever known.
I laid there until my eyes ran dry and my body was worn out, both physically
and emotionally. Linda had peeked in the room a few times, but she never rushed
me out.

After
a long while, Jake came in. He walked up next to Gram, leaned over her, and
kissed her on the head. Without saying a word, he came around to where I was
and lifted me out of Gram’s bed. I didn’t want to leave because I knew she
wouldn’t be there when I got back, but I had no energy left to fight him. I
grabbed onto him and buried my head in his neck. He carried me outside, through
our backyards, into his house, and up to his bedroom. He kicked off his shoes
and climbed into bed with me. Jade was also there, but it was Jake who held me
the entire night as I stared at the ceiling.

Using
my hand, I wipe away the tears. I have to find a way to be able to live in this
house and not be tormented with sad memories. This house holds a lot of happy
memories, as well. Hopefully, those will be enough to help me overcome this and
move on. I take one more look around the room, make sure the doors to outside
are locked, and leave the bedroom exactly the way I found it. Once I return the
key to the glass in the cabinet, I feel a little better. I also feel slightly
proud of myself for how well I handled going in there. Maybe the next time will
be a little easier.

The
sound of the doorbell startles me. I’m not expecting anyone. Jade’s at work and
would use her own key. Jake has his signature doorbell ring so it’s not him,
either. What if it’s my mother? I’ve been ignoring her phone calls since the
morning after Noah’s party. She’ll know I’m here because my car is still in the
driveway. I’m really going to have to start using the garage. As quietly as
possible, I walk over to the door and peek out to see who’s there. The person
standing on my doorstep isn’t anyone I would have guessed.

Evan

For
the life of me, I can’t seem to shake thoughts of Kacie Foster. This damn girl
is going to be the death of me. Saturday night was fun, entertaining,
enlightening…and pure fucking torture. The conversations between Kacie and her
friends, along with Jake’s play-by-play on how she ticks, revealed a lot about
her. She is sweet, caring, vicious to a point, and sexy as hell all rolled into
one adorable little package. A package I’m becoming more and more attached to
every time I see her.

For
some reason, I started to get increasingly upset the more trashed Kacie got.
Why did I give a shit? I tried to get her to stop drinking a few times, but her
friends kept ordering more alcohol. They were really pissing me off. It was so
hard to keep my mouth shut, but it really wasn’t my place to say anything.
Thankfully, Jake ended up putting a stop to the chaos and I jumped at the
chance to help him get Kacie and Jade out of the club. I didn’t want Kacie to
leave, however she really needed to. She stumbled halfway out before I couldn’t
stand watching her like that any longer. I lifted her up and carried her the
rest of the way. The moment Kacie was in my arms, she latched on to my neck and
laid her head on my shoulder. It also happened to be the very moment she cut
off my balls and turned me into a chick. Something about holding her that way
made me care. Other than Meg, I’ve never cared about a girl. I was worried
Kacie would be sick and that she was going to be alone. I opened my mouth to
tell Jake I’d take her home with me so I could watch out for her, but he beat
me to it.

“Don’t
worry, Evan. I’ve been taking care of these two for a really long time. I got
this,” Jake said. After putting her in the car, I brushed Kacie’s hair out of
her face. She had already fallen asleep. Hearing he’d be looking out for her
made me feel better and worse at the same time.

“Yeah,
Evan,” Jade mumbled her words. “Jake’s got us.”

“Shut
up, Jade,” he said, closing her door. When he came around to the driver side,
he told me, “She’ll be at my house so I can keep an eye on her.”

“Call
me if you need anything,” I said, trying to pull my eyes away from her. He
nodded and got in the car.

When
I went back into the club, there were a couple of bimbos waiting and ready to
pounce. Were they here all night? The one blonde may have been the girl from
two weeks ago who lasted a few rounds in the office. I completely avoided them
and set out to find my cousin. Meg assured me she had everything under control,
so I took off long before last call. I figured the paperwork would still be
there the next morning.

After
not sleeping well for the second night in a row, I spent most of Sunday
worrying about how Kacie was feeling. Around noon, I couldn’t take it anymore
so I called Jake. He told me she wasn’t awake, but he had just checked on her.
He told me the same thing an hour-and-a-half later. Who the fuck sleeps that
late? I was going insane all day and wanted to drive over there to check on her
myself. The next time I called, I felt better. At least she was awake.

As
if it wasn’t bad enough, I worried about Kacie all day yesterday. I thought
about her the whole damn time I was at work last night. There’s no way I’m
staying away from her again today, especially knowing she’s home and both of
the Quinn’s are at work. Pulling up to her house, a sense of relief finally
falls over me when I see her car in the driveway. At least, I’m assuming the
red convertible is hers. I ring the doorbell and wait. No one answers, so I
ring it again. It would be nice if I had her number right about now. Just as I
go to ring the bell a third time, Kacie opens the door. My heart instantly
crashes and my body drains of all excitement. Has she been crying?

“What’s
wrong?” I ask, unable to move from her front step.

“It’s
just a bad time. I’m sorry,” she says, suddenly realizing I can see she has
been crying. She goes to close the door. “I’ll talk to you later.”

My
hand flies out to catch it before she can close it all the way. “Kacie, please
tell me what’s wrong.” What am I doing?

“It’s
nothing. I’m fine, really.” It’s obvious she’s ready to cry again.

“If
it’s nothing, then just tell me. I’m not leaving until you do.”

She
attempts to get herself under control. She closes her eyes, takes a deep
breath, and slowly lets it out. “It was the first time I went in Gram’s room
since she…” She can’t finish. Her tears overwhelm her. I rush over and pull her
into my arms, refusing to let her go when she tries to back away.

“I’m
not letting you go until you’re done,” I whisper into her hair. The fight
leaves her body and she relaxes against me.

“I
can’t believe she’s really gone,” she sobs. There’s nothing I can say so I just
stand there, holding her. My foot reaches behind us to close the door.

After
a few minutes, she starts to calm down. My hand gently rubs her back until her
tears stop altogether. “I’m sorry,” Kacie whispers, wiping her face. “I haven’t
cried in a really long time but, lately, it seems like that’s all I do.” She
pulls away.

“Don’t
apologize,” I tell her, looking directly into the most mesmerizing pair of eyes
I’ve ever seen.

“Ten
more minutes and you would have totally missed that mess,” she sighs, but
smiles as if nothing just happened. “Can I get you something to drink?” I
follow her through the living room into the kitchen. “I don’t have much,
actually. I was on my way to the store when I got distracted.”

“I’m
good, thanks,” I say. I can’t help but look around. “Nice place you have here.”

Sadness
fills her eyes again and I want to kick myself for opening my big mouth. It’s
not that I forgot this was once her grandmother’s home. It just didn’t occur to
me that she’d be sad here. “Thanks.”

“I
came by to see how you were feeling. Someone mentioned that you weren’t doing
so well yesterday.” I sit down on the stool in front of the counter.

“It’s
your club. I drink too damn much every time I go there.” She rubs her head as
if remembering her headache from yesterday.

“Well,
technically, it’s not my club. It’s my uncle’s, so you can’t blame me.”

“You
were there both times with those damn shots. I’m totally blaming you,” she
says, grinning.

“Okay,
I’ll take responsibility, if you come grab a quick lunch with me.”

“I
can’t.” Her smile disappears.

“Why
not? Did Jade tell you not to?” I didn’t mean to bring up her friend, who
happens to hate me all of a sudden.

She
reaches up to yank her hair out of the ponytail it was in, then pulls it back
up. “Look, Evan. I’ve got some shit going on. I really can’t get involved with
anyone right now.”

“I
didn’t ask you to date me. I asked you to get lunch. They’re two totally
different things,” I tell her, suddenly nervous we’ll be separated sooner than
I had planned. “You’d have no problem getting something to eat with Jake,
right?” She sighs and I smile, hoping she changed her mind. “See? No big deal.”

“Fine.
I have to run up and wash my face first, though.”

“Why?
You look perfect,” I say honestly.

“Yeah.
A snot-covered face is definitely attractive.” She always makes me laugh,
intentional or not.

She
starts to walk past me and I grab her hip to get her attention. “I’m sorry
about your grandmother. I know what you’re going through if you ever need to
talk.” She looks confused. I assumed Jade or Jake would have told her about my
brother. “I lost my twin brother six years ago. I wish I could tell you it gets
better. To this day, it still hurts just as much as the day it happened.”

“I’m
so sorry. I had no idea.” Concern washes over her.

“I
didn’t tell you to make you feel bad.” I brush the back of my finger along her
cheek. Why do I keep touching her? “I told you so you know you have someone to
talk to. Someone who will understand the pain in your chest that refuses to go
away, no matter how much you try to ignore it.”

She
bites her lip to keep the tears away. “Thank you,” she says, before walking
away. “I’ll be right back. Make yourself at home.”

My
phone keeps me busy for the seventeen minutes she’s gone. But who’s counting?
I’m not sure why I was keeping track of the time. I check my email and text Meg
to tell her I’ll be a little late getting to the club this afternoon. Just as
she responds with something about me not being too late, Kacie comes back down
the stairs. I switch my phone to vibrate and shove it in my pocket when I stand
up. She’s wearing the same jean shorts she had on, but she changed into a light
green top. Her hair is now down, which I like so much better.

“Ready?”
she calls from the living room.

“You’re
right. You definitely look better without the snot,” I say when I meet her in
the foyer.

“Told
ya,” she says, completely unaffected by my sarcasm. Any other girl would have
been offended and slapped me. “Where are we going?” We step outside and I stand
there as she locks the front door.

“What
do you feel like eating?” I shouldn’t have asked. Judging by the body this girl
has, she’s going to say she wants a salad or something nasty like that.

“A
cheeseburger, fries, and a milkshake.”

“For
real?” I ask pleasantly surprised.

“I
ran four miles this morning. I’m starving.” She stops next to her car.

“Four
miles? That’s it?” There’s something amusing about teasing her.  

“Please.
I just need to get used to this Florida sun again. When Jade would visit me at
school, she would say how much cooler it felt up north. I never really thought
about it until I came home and started running again.”

I
smile at her. “Maybe one of these days, I’ll run with you and leave your ass in
the dust.”

Kacie
shrugs her shoulder and hits the button on her key fob to unlock her car.
“We’ll see.”

“What
are you doing?” I ask.

“Getting
in my car.”

“No,
you’re not. You’re riding with me.” Does she really think I’m going to let her
drive by herself?  

“That’s
ridiculous. Then you’ll have to drive me all the way back here.” This
neighborhood is out of the way, but it just means more time for me to spend
with her.

“So
what?”

“Are
you sure? I don’t want you to feel like you have to drive me around. I don’t
have a problem driving myself.”

“Kacie,
if there’s one thing you learn about me today, it should be that I never do
anything I don’t want to do. Not for anyone or for any reason.”

She
looks satisfied with my answer. “Between you and Jake, I’m never going to be
able to drive my pretty, new car.” She locks the car again and we head over to
my truck.

A
look I can’t figure out crosses her face. “Need me to lift you up?” The cab of
my Dodge Ram is ridiculously high, especially for her little legs.

“No.
I’m short, so I’ve learned to be resourceful. I was just wondering if you’re
making up for something else by having such a big truck.” A huge, cocky grin
fills her face.

That
wasn’t even close to what I was expecting out of her mouth. “No, smart ass.
Keep your shit up and I’ll have no problem proving it to you. I don’t care what
I promised Jade.”

“And
what exactly
did
you promise my best friend?” Her grin is still in
place. I hold my hand out, which she surprisingly takes, and help her up into
the cab of my truck.

When
she hears the truth, there’s no way she’ll have another sly remark. “That I
won’t sleep with you. Not unless you beg, of course.” I was right about one
thing. She didn’t have anything to say. Instead, she falls into a fit of
laughter. Nothing fazes this girl. I close the door on her and take my time
walking around the front of the truck. By the time I make it around to my side
and get in, she appears to have her laughing under control. As I start the
engine, I’m trying to figure out how she managed to get the upper hand. No girl
has ever thrown me off balance this way before. The good thing is, I can be
myself around her.

“I’m
sorry. Sometimes it’s just better to laugh at the shit Jade does because if I
don’t,” she stops to look out of the window, “I might say or do something I’ll
regret. She has a tendency to hold grudges over stuff, even if she’s the one
who started it.” Kacie reaches into her pocket as I’m pulling out of her
driveway. She types something into her phone. “Wait until she gets that.”

“Do
I even want to know?” I ask, but I definitely do.

“I
just told her I was going out to lunch with you. I’m sure she’s going to be
more worried about why we’re together in the first place.” Her phone chimes and
Kacie laughs.

“What
did she say?”

“She
told me to keep my panties on,” she chuckles.

“Tell
her that won’t stop me.”

Kacie
glances over after she replies to Jade. “You two are so much alike. How come
you don’t get along?”