Lena's River (6 page)

She said: “Well, I don’t pretend to understand anything
about the universe. It seems to me religion has a way of avoiding the hard
questions by keeping god all mysterious and distant. All I know is this life
and I sure as hell don’t comprehend that very well.”

She bent down and picked up her pack and pole. “I’d
better get back to the camp. Mary is making veggie tacos and I promised I’d
ride into town with her to buy groceries.”

“Okay. I’m going to stay here and read. Let me know if you
want to meet up later this evening. I’m not going anywhere.” Levi seemed
uncertain, but touched her arm with his hand.

“I’ll go to bed early tonight. I’m pretty tired. I’ll
see you in the morning though okay? Why don’t you come over to the camp for breakfast?
I’ll make an omelet or something.” Lena needed some space but she didn’t want
to brush him off all at once.

“That sounds fine; I’ll see you then. Can I bring
anything like orange juice or some cheese?” He wore disappointment on his face.

“Yeah, sure – some juice would be nice. See you then.”
She stepped over and gave him a light kiss on the cheek and left before he
could react.

He watched her walk down the shore to catch the path
into the forest. A cedar branch swayed as she moved through the giant trees and
was gone. He stood there for a moment looking after her, then bent down to pick
up a rock and threw it with some force into the water. It made a big splash and
then silence. Levi stared at the water flow by while his dog watched him with
his little head tilted to one side.

“Crap.” Levi muttered.

****

Lena didn’t say much in the car on the way into town
with Mary. She stared out the window of the jeep but Mary didn’t press her for
details. She knew Lena well enough. In time it would all come out.

The little grocery in town didn’t have much selection
but they found what they needed and the vegetables were fresh. Then they
stopped at a local motel to buy a shower. Lena let Mary go first while she
drank an ice tea in the car with the door propped open with her foot. She
mulled over her conversation with Levi. She frowned and stood up, leaning
against the jeep with her face to the sun. The air was still cool but the sun
felt hot on her skin.

She stood there for awhile watching a bald eagle circle
high in the sky. She threw her empty tea can into the recycling bin at the
motel just as Mary emerged from the shower room with wet hair. “Ah, that was
worth three bucks!” Mary said fluffing her short hair. “The other two were
planning on a dip in the river but cold water is for the birds. There’s nothing
like a hot shower to soothe ruffled feathers, if you ask me.” Mary handed Lena
a fresh towel out of the back seat of her jeep. “Watch the water. It’s hot!”

“Okay, thanks; see you in a few.” Lena was looking forward
to ten minutes of blissful hot water. She took her time but didn’t want to
leave Mary waiting too long.

On the way back to the camp Mary pulled over at an
overlook of the valley. They got out and leaned on the rail, taking in the
greenery below and the river meandering its way through the bushes and forest
of cedar, spruce and hemlocks.

“He seems like a nice guy, this one.” Mary tried to be
casual. Lena knew she was trying to give her an opening.

“He is. He’s smart and funny and really nice. Everything
was going fine until he brought religion into it.”

“Religion? Goodness, how did that all come up? I
thought I was the only one who ventured into that territory.”

“That’s because it’s your job, Mary. That’s what
pastors do. They talk about religion.” Lena laughed, and continued to tell Mary
about her conversation with Levi.

“It was silly. We were talking about Mom. I don’t know
why but I felt queasy during the whole discussion. The abstract language gives
me the willies. Not that he was being all high and mighty. Not at all, I think
he was trying to comfort me in some way. But why is it when people starting
talking about their god they give these matter-of-fact references and it just
sets my teeth on edge!” Lena threw her hands up for effect.

Mary listened with her head down. She nodded: “Yes,
many religious people forget that not everyone has these beliefs. Some I’ve known
are quite arrogant and self-assured, as if God
was
on their side no matter what they did. Actions accounted for nothing just as
long as you believed. But not all spiritual people are like that. Most will
agree that there is no single answer to life’s questions.”

 Lena was sorry she’d been so abrupt with Levi. He
hadn’t even come close to crossing that line. He had only tried to reassure
her. He’d been nothing but kind and concerned.

“I don’t know; life is tough enough without throwing an
omniscient, yet detached god into the equation.” Lena stared straight ahead.
She was careful not to step on Mary’s toes, but they knew where they stood with
each other. They’d had similar conversations and had agreed to disagree on the
role of religion.

She decided long ago she wanted no part of it. She
especially wished no part of a deity that allowed such cruel suffering, like
what her mother had endured.

“Well, perhaps you could talk to him about it. Try to
explain how you feel. If he’s open-minded enough and likes you, he’ll stick around
at least for a few more days.” Mary chuckled.

“Well, it’s not like this hot romance is going to last,
being the one summer fling in the last three years.”

“Hmm, hot romance is it – well you never know. I
wouldn’t bail just yet – that kind doesn’t come along every day.” Mary smiled
and opened the door of the jeep and plopped back onto the seat. She called
through the open window. “Just remember that love is what makes the world go
around but communication is the great lubrication.”

Lena smiled and opened the passenger door. “That’s
pretty good, lady. Did you just now make that up?”

“Yes, I did. It’s a Mary-ism and there’s plenty more
where that came from. I should write it down and save it for a sermon.”

Lena hopped back in the car beside her and laughed:
“Don’t I know it! That’s one of your sermons I might actually listen to, Mary.”

Chapter Five

Lena was up early and fishing on the river at first
light. She’d gone to bed before anyone else and wanted a chance to fish alone
for a few hours. As she cast her line in a gentle sweep, back and forth over
the surface of the river, something purple across the stream caught her eye.

“I wonder what that purple is? It’s too soon for
Foxglove. Then again, with all the rain we had, maybe it’s not too early.”

Lena noticed the river was running much higher than
yesterday. She wondered if it had stormed up in the Olympic Mountains
overnight. The trees were full of birdsong and the insect hatch was out in
droves. The air was humid and chilly this morning as if rain was not far away.

“I’m going to be hard pressed to find a hungry fish.
Think I’ll change my choice of fly.”

Hard as Lena tried she could not get Levi out of her
head. It bugged her that she kept thinking about him. They’d had a nice, late
breakfast together the day before. They hadn’t talked about anything heavy - they’d
had a leisurely chat, ate omelets and toast with orange juice. Then he’d
excused himself and said he planned on driving to the city to scout out a few
job opportunities, and print some resumes’.

He’d given her a light hug and kiss on the cheek and by
the time she’d gone to bed he wasn’t back at his campsite yet. Maybe he’d
stayed over somewhere. It was quite a drive from here considering how slow
urban traffic could be.

Great Lena; you muffed this one up. You
don’t get brownie love points for freaking out and back-peddling. That’s why
love gives your bunch of crazy a wide berth. And this isn’t love anyway; it’s a
fling – nothing more. He’ll take off, move on and so will you. It’d be easier
and better if he did. You don’t need any drama right now. Besides he’s from the
east coast and Jewish. You two have nothing in common except he’s got guy parts
and you’ve got girl parts. ‘Nuff said?

Lena tried to concentrate on the fishing. If she could
find her happy zone where she didn’t have to think about anything then all the
internal banter would stop. She’d always calculated, weighed, mulled over her
actions or future actions. And now that her mother was gone she did it even
more because she felt alone and more responsible than ever. She had to stop
thinking about herself so much. Her little sister relied on Lena’s smart
choices. She had to be cautious and wise and the impulsive behavior had to
stop. Yes, enough said.

She could hear the ladies coming down the path to the
river with lots of woman-chatter. Sala called out to Lena when they cleared the
trees.

“Hey Lena, if you think you’re going to sneak off at
daybreak and hog this hole for yourself – you’d better think again.”

“Don’t worry Sala I’ve caught all the fish here; you
can move on upstream.”

“Sounds to me like an open invite to elbow in! Move
over, woman.”

“Sala, you’re incorrigible. Try that spot, right
there.” Lena pointed toward the far end of a massive cedar log, the branches
still green, which had recently fallen into the river.

“Wow, that’s a huge tree!” Sala waded with care out
into the current. “You had luck here?”

“Yeah, I got a couple good strikes but nothing serious.
Maybe you’ll do better.” Lena waded back to the shore, greeting Mary and Gina
who handed her a thermos.

“A fresh brew for you.” Gina offered.

“Thanks! This is perfect; my hands are cold.”

“Woohoo! Oh yeah!” Sala yelled as she netted a large fish
and lifted it out of the water. It fought and flipped against the net as she
hefted it up for them to admire.

“That was fast! Way to go, sweetie!” Mary called. Then
she turned to Lena. “You gave her that spot on purpose, didn’t you? You knew
there was a big one just waiting for a cast.”

Sala held up her prize and was all grins. “Look at it!
Must be a five pounder, at least.”

Lena smiled at Sala and gave her thumbs up as she sat
down on a log, poured the steaming, black liquid into the insulated cup and
took a sip. “Good times, Mary; good times.”

****

The next day was rainy and still no sign of Levi
although his tent was still up at the site. Lena moved her picnic canopy to his
spot as extra protection for his small tent against the rain. Mary helped her
set it up and they finished just as a downpour let loose causing small ponds to
form in the low, marshy spots near the campground.

“There will be many more mosquitoes after all this
moisture.” Mary lamented.

“It will also make the frogs happy, so win-win.” Lena
said. “Did you hear them last night down in the swamp? Oh gosh, they were
singing their hearts out.”

“Singing you call it? I think that’s called croaking.
And yes I did hear them. They kept me awake for an hour, they were so loud.”
Mary paused then said: “You are a very positive little soul today, hon.”

Lena thought for a moment, and then replied: “I’m tired
of being sad, Mary. Mom wouldn’t have wanted me to be moping about, so it’s
time to get on with life. It doesn’t mean I don’t miss her any less, though.”

“Of course not, but I’m glad to hear it. You’re so
right; life is too short.” Mary nodded as they splashed on back to Lena’s
camper.

“You want to come in and have a cup?” Lena held the
door of her camper open.

“No, I’d better go find Sala. She’s still down at that
spot you showed her trying to do a repeat of yesterday. She’ll have webbed feet
sprouting if she’s not careful.”

“Okay, don’t get wet.” Lena laughed. They both wore
rain gear which shed the water in tiny rivulets behind them.

“I forget how much it can rain here. I’m glad we live
in the sweet zone. I couldn’t take this for long.” Mary shook the arms of her
rain parka which caused a spray of tiny drops in all directions.

“It’s not supposed to last more than a day or so.”

“That’s good to know. See you in awhile.” Mary waved and
headed off towards the river path.

Lena waved to Mary and shook herself good before
stepping up into her camper. She removed her wet gear and hung it outside the
door under the awning; the muck boots she left outside too. Then she put the
tea kettle on and settled down to read in the cozy nook she created on her bed
with multiple pillows.

She had just poured her second cup of tea when there
was a knock on the door. “Come in.” She called and reached for another cup from
the holder above the tiny, turquoise stove.

“Hey.” Levi poked his head in the door.

“Hey, stranger; I wondered if you’d show up sometime. I
mean with all your earthly belongings inside the tent, I knew it couldn’t be
too long.”

“Yeah, they are not quite all my possessions but a good
chunk of them! Thanks for setting up the extra cover! Except now your picnic
table is wet.”

“I don’t need a picnic table when it’s raining. You’re
welcome. I wasn’t sure how long you’d be delayed.”