Lennon's Jinx (19 page)

Jinx
glares at me.

She
is oddly silent as we walk to my SUV. My hands are full with two guitars, so
she carries her keyboard.

I
shouldn’t talk about this to her. It’ll only upset her, but I venture further
at my own peril. “There are two kinds of girls. Those wanting to make a name
for themselves while the rest are holding out for the prince who’ll never
come.”

“Maybe
some girls feel they have to kiss a lot of frogs to marry a prince, but I don’t.”

I
shrug. “Well, I guess I’m a frog in that long procession.”

“It’s
important to be in love and to want to please each other.” Jinx is one of those
girls, waiting for her fairytale prince. Someone like Zach.

I
laugh. “In order to be good at anything, you have to practice. How is it my
responsibility if a girl doesn’t get off after I’ve sweated over her for twenty
minutes?”

“You
could get an STD.”

“I
wear plenty of protection, and it’s not like I sleep with total skanks.”

Jinx
gives me that stone cold look she’s famous for. “I beg to differ.”

Once
again, I’ve dug a deep enough hole to bury myself. I can’t help it if she
brings out the best in me.

As
we drive back, I say, “When you’re dealing with overenthusiastic fans, be firm but
say no, and be nice to them. It’s all about the fantasy.”

She
shudders. “It looked all too real from my vantage point.”

“You
can’t slap the paying clientele. It’s not good for business.” I can tell that Jinx
is going to ruin all my fun.

“What
am I supposed to do? He could’ve raped me.”

“He
wouldn’t have. Now that guy Ran you were teasing the other night would have. He
is a predator. I take it that was for Zach’s benefit.” I keep chasing my tail
with this.

“How
could you tell he was a predator?”

“It’s
in their eyes, always hungry, never satisfied.”

Another
shiver runs through her. “Oh?”

She
seriously can’t tell, but if I pry any further I’m likely to lose the boys
between my legs when she boots me.

Jinx
shuffles through my CDs until she finds the ones marked demo. She focuses on
the songs for the rest of the drive back to my house and ignores me. I don’t really
like it. I’m used to a lot of attention.

When
we get there, Mom is humming in the kitchen, preparing munchies for a late
night movie. So far, no strange guys.

Her
gaze sweeps over Jinx then me. “I didn’t know you were having a friend over. Double
standard, huh? I’m Heather.” She juts out her hand for Jinx while narrowing her
eyes at me.

“It’s
not what you think, Mother.”

Jinx
nervously shakes Mom’s hand. “I’m Jinx.”

“Cool
name.” Heather can be really charming. When she acted as a child, she got an Oscar
nod.  She never lets anyone forget that.

“My
mom’s a huge fan of yours,” Jinx says. “
Drowning in the Rain
is her all-time
favorite film.”

Mom’s
face saddens as she reminisces. “It’s mine, too.”

“Could
I get your autograph?”

With
her Academy swagger and smile, Mom goes to the end table by the couch and pulls
out a photograph. She keeps them just in case a fan should drop by. It’s
nauseatingly annoying. “What’s your mom’s name?”

“Lana.
Thank you so much.” Jinx watches Mom sign her color glossy. “How come you don’t
make movies anymore? You’re so talented.”

Doubt
crinkles Mom’s face. “You think so?”

“Yeah,
Mom. Enquiring minds want to know why you don’t get a job.” She did a couple
movies when she was with Jonathan, but by the time she returned from a shoot,
another girl was keeping her place warm on her side of the bed. She didn’t like
that too well. The only other time she worked after that was when he left her
the second time, which was five years ago. Now, she waits for his return. If
she’s working, she may miss reuniting with Jonathan.

“Here
you go, Jinx.” Mom hands her the glossy. “I’ll be in the great room if you need
me.”

Like
that will ever happen. I don’t recall her ever getting up to feed Currie at
night. It’s hard to hear a baby when you’re comatose. I did catch Jonathan a
few times. He always liked Currie better than me.

I
grab a tee and shorts from Mom’s room. When I come back, I hand them to Jinx.
“There’s a bathroom down the hall.”

After
she changes, I hand wash her clothes in the sink. I’m that domesticated.

Jinx
watches me. “Wow, I would’ve never guessed you knew how to do laundry.”

“I’m
a man of many talents.”

“Your
mom is really beautiful. She could pass for her early twenties.”

“I
guess so.” Unlike Jonathan, partying hasn’t hurt Heather’s looks. She also
wasn’t a drug addict like him because she mainly stuck to booze. After I cut
her off from the day spa, she concocted homemade treatments to keep her
youthful image, and they seem to work. The gym equipment I bought doesn’t go to
waste because she faithfully uses it every day.

“You
don’t get along with her.” Jinx drags out the words.

“We
get along fine. I just want her to get off her lazy ass and be a parent for
once or get a job. Do something. Anything.” My voice rises a bit.

“My
mom works all the time. I hardly see her.” Jinx studies the floor tiles with
her tiny bare feet. God I’d like to suck every one of her toes. They’re painted
gold and teal. “My stepfather barely works at all.”

“I
guess we’re at opposite ends of the spectrum.”

“Your
parents have money.” Her voice drifts off.

“Money
doesn’t solve everything, but it helps.”

Jinx
scoots up on top of the washing machine. That loose tee she’s wearing makes my
imagination run wild.

“My
mom only worked part-time until my dad got sick. His medical bills sucked us
dry, even though we had insurance. We lost the house. I think Mom married my
stepfather so that I’d have a babysitter when she travels.”

I’m
wondering if I can give her a therapeutic hug without forming a tent pole in my
pants. I’m guessing not. “What does your mom do?”

“Pharmaceutical
sales. She’s does well, and we’ve managed to get out of the hole we were in.”

Her
silence leaves gaps filled with unanswered questions. She’s obviously not happy
with her home life, but for once, I don’t push her. I have enough of my own
demons to fry, Jonathan for one.

When
I finish washing, Jinx follows me into the laundry room where I toss her
clothes into the dryer. Harry waltzes in, eyeing Jinx’s ankle like a bone. She
screams and jumps into my arms. Her hands wrap around my neck. “What the hell
is that?”

“Our
dog.” My dick rises to the occasion because she’s naked under a thin tee, and I
am a guy, and she’s amazingly cute.

She
slides down me and gets poked. “You are such a sleaze.” She beats me with her
tiny fists.

I
love it when she does that. It’s hard not to laugh. “No. You barely have any
clothes on, and I’m excited. You could be nice to me.” I stop before I finish
my thought, which is to make up for me not getting any tonight and a few other
nights I was deprived. That’ll really piss Jinx off, so I shut my mouth.

Jinx
narrows her eyes at me. “Why does everything have to be about sex with you?”

“I’m
sorry,” I say, meaning it. I have to remember that she’s not a pub girl or any
fun.

When
her clothes finish drying, I drive Jinx to the station. It’s close to four in
the morning. “Your parents won’t be upset with you coming home so late?”

“My
mom’s in St. Louis on business. My stepfather will probably be out.” Jinx gets
out with her keyboard and CDs and slides into her car.

We
share the same sad song. Our parents aren’t there for us. For me, if Heather
remarries, she’s out of our house. She’s holding out for Jonathan, a worthless
cause. That used to be a sure thing, but this last time, he hasn’t come back,
except to retrieve Currie for a visit.

Jinx’s
life has an added twist that forms knots in my tired muscles. Something’s up
with her. It’s only a matter of time before I find out what.

Chorus:

I
miss the way you taste.

I
miss your touch.

I
miss the world that once surrounded us.

I
beg for absolution and your kiss.

Cut
the scars from my heart.

Scrub
my soul raw.

Erase
the hard lines that have stripped me bare.

Water
washes the dirt away.

But
only on the surface.

Beneath
are the lies that cage me.

Free
me with your kiss

Forgive
me for my sins.

Knock
down the walls between us.

Take
me in your arms and away from here.

Saturday morning, I sit in the
shower and soak, the steam clearing my mind, the water washing away His touch.
Is it because I’m going to be eighteen soon that He thinks He can continue
where He left off, where my life ended?

Instead
of sleeping last night, I worked on my solos and wrote another song to add to
my pile of unfulfilled dreams and in part to impress Lennon, Danny, and Clive.

Once
again, Lennon rescued me, and he ditched his skank to drive me back. When he
wrapped me in his arms, I felt safe from everything bad. That scares me more
than his reputation.

Step-monster
hasn’t had the chance to tell Mom about my weed yet. She won’t be home until
Monday, then I’ll be grounded for eternity. I can’t stand staying here.

When
I get out of the shower, I dress for the cold and walk the mile and a half to
the Corner Coffee.

“One
mocha latte,” I say to barista boy. He’s cute with dimples in his chin that
spread to his cheeks when he smiles.

“Coming
right up, Jinx.” A machine grinds beans behind him while he pushes the tin cup
under the whirring blades to mix my favorite blend.

He
hands me the burning-hot cup of caffeine rush, the aroma waking me. His face
blushes. “You know, Jinx. I don’t always work. Maybe…we could hang out
together.”

“Really?”
I haven’t been asked out in a long time, if I don’t count Alex, the meathead
who hit on me at my party. Speak of the devil. He slides up behind me and brushes
up against me.

I
would toss my coffee at him, but I can’t afford to buy another one. When I
graduate, I’m out of here and away from all this bullshit.

Barista
boy’s lips curl down. Wait, I want to say to him, but stupid Alex slips his
hand around my waist.

I
shove him back. “Get away from me. I’m not interested in you one iota.”

Barista
boy smiles at that.

“Later?”
I say to barista boy.

“Maybe
tomorrow?”

“That
may work,” I say.

I
turn away from Alex and walk home.

“I
could give you a ride,” Alex calls to me.

“No
thanks.”

On
my way back, creepers crawl across my neck like someone is watching me. I spin
around to search the street, but the cars just fly past me, not giving me a
second glance. I hit the crosswalk signal and wait before entering the road.

A
Camaro races up to the stoplight and screeches to a halt. I jump back, spilling
coffee on my wool pea coat. ‘What the—?”

Alex
beeps his horn at me. I give him the one finger salute and stalk to the other
side of the road.

I
am getting stronger, and I wonder if it isn’t partially because I joined the
band and due to Lennon’s encouragement. Singing on stage got a little easier by
the end of the night. It was the most terrifying and yet the most exhilarating
experience of my life. I just need to stay sober around certain guys and watch
my back and lock my doors.

Unfortunately, I had to be my own
best friend in the shower last night. Even then, I could barely sleep, and when
I did, coppery waves of hair feathered my dreams.

We
have to be at the wedding by noon, so I drag myself out of bed and go to the
hospital.

Mrs.
Nowak is on her phone just outside when I enter Zoe’s room. The staff will prep
Zoe this morning for her first bout of chemo this afternoon.

Currie
and Zoe are watching a Pixar movie. The room is maxed out with flowers,
balloons, and stuffed animals.

“Hey,
ladies.” I hand Zoe a plush penguin, her favorite animal, Mickey D French
fries, and a milkshake.

“Where’s
mine?” Currie asks.

“I
didn’t get any for you. All that grease is bad for you.”

She
jumps up and peeks behind my back. “Give them to me.”

I
pull the other bag out. “McDonalds is not healthy. You can’t have any.” I steal
a fry.

“Unh,
unh.” She swipes them away from me, but only after, I snag them out of reach a
few times. I love teasing her more than I do Harry.

Zoe
takes a long pull from her milkshake. “This is so much better than hospital
food.”

Currie
picks at her fries. Dark smudges circle under her eyes. They’re also puffy,
like she’s been crying. My heart aches for her. She’s too little to go through
this. I pick her up, cradle her in my arms, and kiss the top of her head.

She
swats me. “I’m not an infant anymore.”

“You’ll
always be my baby.”

Zoe
points to her cheek. “Where’s my sugar?”

I
give her a kiss there. She grins big for me.

“What
did you get?” I ask, checking out her plunder.

“Clive
bought me the humongous penguin in the corner.” The stuffed animal is
five-feet, propped up against the wall. “Danny Boy and Susan got me the Barbie
and horse.”

“You
made out. Are you going to share?”