Lennon's Jinx (34 page)

“She’ll
be fine,” I say. “It’s just all the chemo.”

The next day, the school office
calls me in the middle of class. I haven’t been back long enough to cause problems.
Have I?

While
all eyes are on me, I excuse myself and walk to the office. Brea Nowak is
there, waiting for me.

“Hey,
what’s going on?” I ask.

“Mom
rushed Zoe to the hospital. Dad’s on his way there.”

I
feel the world slip beneath my feet. This will destroy Currie. “What happened?
Is she okay?”

“Zoe
has had a bloody nose now for twelve hours and her bones started hurting again.
It’s not good.”

“What
do you need me to do?”

“Can
you give me a ride to the hospital?” she asks, her voice shaky. “And we may
need for you to take care of Whiskers until we get a hold of our usual cat
sitter.”

“No
problem.” I check out of school and drive Brea to the hospital.

Brea
works the hem of her hoodie into knots. “She was doing fine.”

“Maybe
it’s just a reaction to the medication.”

“It’s
not.” Brea stares at me, her eyes shiny with tears. “This is so not right. Zoe,
Currie, Zoe. I sit up in bed every night, wondering what a nine-year-old has
done to deserve this.”

There
are no answers to her questions. I’ve asked them myself a million times.

I
let Brea out at the front then go and park. I won’t call Currie just yet.
She’ll be mad, but she doesn’t need to go through this anymore.

Once
I get inside, I speak with Mrs. Nowak who’s talking to the doctor. “What’ up?’

She
bursts into tears and collapses into my arms. “Zoe’s dying.”

My
whole body sags from the shock. “I thought…”

“There
was always a chance her last treatment might backfire, and it has.”

The
air has been sucked out of me. “There’s nothing they can do?”

Mr.
Nowak flies out of the elevator. She runs to him. They lose each other in their
embrace. I stare at them in envy only for a moment.

I
hurry into Zoe’s room. She’s sitting up with a million machines hooked up to
her. She gives me a little wave.

“Would
you gather the troops?” Zoe asks. “I want to say goodbye.”

I
kneel and lay my head on her lap. She ruffles my hair. “Don’t be sad. It hurts
really bad. I’m tired of hurting. Be strong for Currie. She needs you.”

I
don’t know how Zoe remains so brave.

“I’ll
make the phone calls.” I step into the hall where I overhear Mrs. Nowak asking
the doctor, “How long?”

“Zoe
doesn’t have much time left. An hour maybe two. Her body is shutting down.”

I
first call Clive to pick up Currie then the school, so they’ll release her to
him. Susan answers Danny’s phone and tells me they’ll be here shortly. Jinx
gets out of class and arrives first, even though I called her last.

She
holds off from going into the room. Susan and Danny walk in as soon as they
arrive to say goodbye. Susan bites her lip until she comes out. She buries her
face into Danny’s shoulder and sobs.

Clive
and Currie arrive last. Jinx and I go in with them. Brea holds Zoe’s hand. Her
mom leans against Mr. Nowak. She looks as if she’ll fall apart at any moment.
Jinx takes my hand, and that gives me some comfort.

Currie
runs to Zoe. She crawls up onto the bed and holds Zoe. “You can’t go. I won’t
let you.”

Mrs.
Nowak crumples into her husband’s arms. It’s too much to see Currie and Zoe locked
together, holding onto their friendship.

“I’m
sorry.” Zoe sniffles. “You’re my bestest friend. You know I don’t want to leave
you. I don’t have a choice.”

Tears
tumble down Clive’s face. “What will I do without you?”

“I
guess we can’t marry in this life, so you’ll have to find me on the next go
around,” Zoe says.

“I’ll
wait for you,” he says, leaning down to kiss her cheek.

“Hunky
monkey, where’s my kiss?” Zoe reaches for me.

I
give her a hug and kiss.

“I
have a small favor to ask,” she says, holding her hand up and pinching her
fingers together to show me how small. “Please play
Tiny Dancer
at my…you
know.”

“I
will.”

She
takes my hand. “Could you sing it now?”

I
sing the song. Clive hums along with me. It’s a great song from an awesome duo,
Bernie Taupin, the word man, and Elton John, the composer.

The
nurse comes in and checks the intravenous feed of morphine for Zoe. She
caresses Zoe’s shoulder. “Little angel,” she says before leaving.

Several
nurses stand outside while I sing to Zoe. She tightly holds onto Currie. As I
get to the last chorus, her grip relaxes on Currie.

Zoe’s
eyes flutter then close—her breaths slow and uneven. Her mother has hold of one
shoulder, Brea the other, and Currie is wrapped around Zoe like she’s gripping
a tree in a hurricane. Zoe opens her eyes and looks at the ceiling for a brief
moment as if someone is beckoning her away.

Zoe
closes her eyes for the last time. She doesn’t wake. I can only hope her spirit
smiles down on us from above.

A
half hour later, I have to pry Currie from Zoe’s lifeless body. I hate for
Currie to have to go through this, but we all have to. It’s a part of life. I
hold her until she cries herself out and falls asleep in my arms. Jinx waits
with me.

What
I’ve learned from almost losing Currie and now Zoe is how short our lives are
and how important it is to have good people surround you, like the Nowaks, like
Jinx, Clive, Danny Boy, and Susan.

Jinx
comes over to my house for a little while. She doesn’t spend the night, and I
don’t expect her to. It may be a long time before she wants that kind of
intimacy with any guy.

It’s been good to be home in my
own bed without Step-monster here. I don’t need to lock my room anymore. Mom is
working out her schedule so she doesn’t have to travel as much until I go to college.
To save money, I’ll live at home and attend the nearby community college for
the first two years.

Zach
has called several times, but I’m not ready to date him again quite yet. Lennon
said he wanted to talk to me, and I’m hoping he’s getting up the nerve to ask
me out. I’m not holding my breath though, because it may never happen.

Seeing
how vulnerable Lennon is lets me know that there is hope for him. He’s screwed
up, that’s for sure, but so am I. We both have dark, deep closets stuffed with
pain that’ll take years to clean out.

I
wear my black heels and the plum dress Currie and Zoe picked out for me. It reminds
me of that day shopping. Looking back, it’s a fond memory despite my hangover.

Mom
lets me borrow a scarf and her good wool coat because it’s damp and chilly
outside.

Rena
arrives first. She wants to follow us over. “Hey,” she says, when I open the front
door for her.

“Nice
and cloudy,” I say.

She
walks onto the foyer. “Are you and Lennon dating?”

“I’m
not sure. He hasn’t officially asked me out, but we’ve been spending some time
together. Currie just finished her treatment.”

“I
think he’s getting up the nerve to ask you out.”

“Say
we do start dating. I’m not ready to sleep with anyone.” I’m not sure if I’ll
ever be.

“Then
don’t. Make Lennon wait. It won’t hurt him. He likes you, so go with that for
now.”

I
lead her to the living room where we both sit. “I’m not sure what to do about
Zach.”

“Give
Lennon a week or two. He almost lost Currie and now Zoe. Tell Zach you’re busy
with the band and being a friend to Lennon.”

“I’ll
do that. I like Lennon. So far he hasn’t tried to do anything but kiss me.”

She
shoulder bumps me. “I told you there was more to him.”

“You
were right. I was wrong, but don’t let that get out.”

Rena
laughs. “I won’t.”

Lennon
pulls up out front and walks to the door to get me. I’ll never forget how he
clobbered Step-monster.

Mom
meets him at the door. Rena and I stand and go to meet Lennon.

When
Lennon sees Rena, he says, “Do you want a ride?”

“No
thanks. I’ll drive myself.” She squeezes past Lennon. “I’ll see you guys
there.”

Mom
whispers to me, “He’s really handsome.”

My
cheeks heat. I glower at her, even though it’s true. Lennon wears one of his
expensive suits and a tie. He does clean up nice.

Once
we’re out of earshot, he says, “Your mom thinks I’m cute.”

Like
that’s all it takes to get my approval. I elbow him. “Her vote doesn’t count.”

He
takes my arm, walks me to the passenger side, and lets me in. His mother sits
in the back, looking elegant in all black and a matching hat and veil.

Currie
wears an organza dress the color of red wine and the matching scarf to Zoe’s.
It pricks my heart to see it.

“You
look beautiful,” I say to her.

“You,
too.” She stares out the window at the cold, windy day. I can feel the rain
before it starts.

I drive everyone to Saint Paul’s Catholic
Church for Zoe’s service. With Clive’s help, I composed a duet for Currie on the
violin for Zoe’s requested song. Currie carries in her instrument with her head
down. The Nowaks greet us as soon as we arrive. I drop Jinx’s hand long enough
to hug each one of them. Currie can’t look at them.

Mrs.
Nowak bends down to Currie’s level. She hands her a small gold ballerina on a
chain. “Zoe wanted you to have this. I hope you’ll take it and remember her
always.”

Currie
wraps her arms around Mrs. Nowak’s neck. “I can’t stop thinking about her.”

“You
can come over anytime you want to talk. You know we love you as our own.”

She
clings to Mrs. Nowak. “I miss her so much.”

“I
know, Honey. We all do. Come sit with us down front.”

Currie
takes Mrs. Nowak’s hand. They sit on the first row. I walk over to the raised
platform at the front and set up the mike and amps with Jinx’s help. Clive sits
by Brea. His parents are a few rows back. Susan and Danny Boy sit with them.

In
a way, I’m jealous of them. They have each other. Even when they fight, it’s
never ugly, though it is uncannily honest. My parents always fought dirty,
using vicious name-calling.

Bailey
and her mom sit next to Zoe’s fellow dancers. She smiles at me when I spot her.
I nod back.

Jinx
and I sit by Clive. Her constant touch comforts me. Rena comes to our row and
slides in next to Jinx.

The
priest says a few words before Mrs. Nowak does the eulogy. What does one say
about a life cut short? That Zoe was full of love and energy even when she was
dying. My mind wanders while Mrs. Nowak speaks. I can’t listen when my heart is
full of pain, and my brain seizes on the decisions I’ll have to make concerning
Currie.

I
realize now that I have to face Jonathan. Mom has packed her bags. It’ll tear
Currie apart when she says goodbye. I don’t think Currie has even noticed the
suitcases in Mom’s bedroom. She’s distraught from losing her best friend.

As
I rub my temple, Mrs. Nowak asks us to come up. “Zoe’s last request was for
Lennon and her best friend Currie to play her favorite song. We hope that each
of you take a moment to meditate on what’s important in life so that you share
each day with your loved ones as if it’s their last.”

I
offer my hand to Currie, but she holds her head high. This song is for Zoe, so
in her mind, it has to be perfect.

Jonathan
and Denage slip into the back row. A few people spot the celebrity couple and
point at them and whisper. Currie must’ve called him. They’re dressed in black
and dark glasses. The bodyguards must be outside.

Clive
and Currie take out their violins. They stand in front of the baby grand. I begin
with the melodic entrance on the piano placed just to the left side of the
altar. Of all the Elton John songs, this one has always been Currie’s and Zoe’s
favorite, and so it became mine.

Instead
of the piano interlude, the strings warm the air with their angel cries. As
they crescendo, the sun peeks through the clouds and brightens the church. It’s
almost as if Zoe smiles down on Currie. With her chin on the violin rest, Currie
draws the bow across the strings. Her concentration makes the song as perfect
as possible. Clive is a complete professional and never misses a note.

By
the time
Tiny Dancer
ends, most of the crowd is in tears and so is my
dad. Jinx sits in the purple dress I bought her. She looks amazing. After all
she’s been through, she seems to be at peace now, and I may have played a small
role in that.

I
drive us over to the cemetery. Heather watches Jonathan’s limo drive up and
park. She kisses Currie on top of her head.

“I’m
moving back to L.A.,” Heather says. “My agent has several auditions set up for
me, and Jonathan offered to help me start a business. I’m thinking about
marketing a spa line of products. My own concoctions have certainly kept me
young.”

Great
timing, Mom. Currie’s worst day of her life and you totter off into the sunset
to find a life of your own.

“Mommy,
don’t leave.” Currie grabs hold of Heather’s waist. “I’m sorry.”

“Currie,
you’ve done nothing wrong,” I say.

“Let
go.” Heather pries her loose.

Currie
sobs. “Don’t go, Mommy. Not now.”

“I’ll
see you when you visit your dad. Okay? Be a big girl.”

I
pick up Currie and hold her against my chest. She buries her face into my chest.
Hot tears soak my shirt.

“Lennon,
don’t let her go,” she cries. “Make her stay. Promise you won’t be mean to her
anymore.”