Leoti (17 page)

“I’m better than you think,” Josie said.

“Wait. Everyone wait,” Carlton shook his head. He addressed Josie. “We aren’t here to debate what happened. You’re healthy and alive.” He looked up at Elu. “Thank you for saving her life. I saw that cliff, we could have lost her.” Carlton managed civility though it was hard. “Josie. I called your mother and sister because they are just as worried about you as I am. We only want you to get some help. Come home so we can make that happen. Please.”

Josie glanced up to Elu, who squeezed her shoulder and smiled down at her. She then leveled her eyes on Carlton once more. “I understand why you called them. You did what you thought was right.” Her gaze volleyed between Tiffani and Madeline. “I know I’ve worried you and I’m really sorry.”

“It’s not your fault sweetheart. I’m sorry, but I have to say this. It’s ridiculous that you haven’t been to a doctor. You have one of the most brilliant minds on the planet! To be kept here, for weeks, it’s criminal!” Madeline snapped. She stood shocking the room. Carlton however wasn’t surprised. The argument they’d had earlier, had kept Madeline seething. She was bound to direct that anger somewhere. He didn’t give two shits if she directed it at the Indian. “Which leads me to my next question. Why did you keep her from her family? Turn on a TV, her face is all over the news. Everyone knows who she is. Did you?”

“Ma, no.” Tiffani said, but Madeline snatched her hand away.

“I will not be quiet. I will not! You find a woman dying and you don’t get her medical attention? You don’t call the police? And then when she can’t defend herself you play house with her. Screw with her head, keep her from her family. You should be arrested!”

“That’ll be enough!” Josie sat forward.

“Quiet baby you don’t know what’s going on.” Madeline dismissed Josie.

Josie stood. “I know exactly what’s going on. I know that you can be mean and indifferent at times, but you’re my mother so I overlook it. I also know why you’re really angry, and who you are angry with and it’s not Elu. You’re acting like a bully.”

Madeline lowered to her seat.

Josie crossed her arms. “Don’t you dare stand in judgment of Elu when you haven’t had a single conversation with him to know who he is. In fact you aren’t fit to stand in judgment of either man in my life. Elu or Carlton, are you Madeline?”

“You don’t remember. You aren’t well.” Madeline said.

“I have my memory back.” Josie snapped. “I remember every single reason why I packed a bag, rented a car and drove into these mountains away from all of you.”

That nugget of truth pierced Carlton’s heart. He sat next to Tiffani and Madeline stunned.

Josie’s head turned. There was shock and disappointment on Elu’s face. “Elu, when I woke up this morning I remembered it all. I’m sorry, I didn’t know how to tell you.”

Carlton rose. “Babe? You remember? You know who I am?”

The sound of pain in his voice tore at her heart. He pulled her toward him and held her. Josie welcomed the embrace. She loved him, and she knew she’d hurt him badly. Elu had to turn away from the scene. He walked away, stopped at the kitchen table and dropped down in the chair.

Carlton cradled Josie’s face in his hands, he kissed her eyelids. Kissed her nose. Kissed her mouth.

“I was so scared. So scared I’d lost you,” Carlton said.

“I’m sorry I hurt you. I am.”

Tiffani stepped up, her arms outstretched. Carlton let her go. Josie hugged her sister. “You scared the hell out of me. Carlton said you didn’t know him and that you wouldn’t come home. Girl, don’t ever scare me like that again.”

Josie smiled. “I’m okay. Sorry I worried you.”

She looked over her sister’s shoulder to her mother. “Madeline.”

Her mother looked up to her with tears in her eyes. “I don’t know what to say to you.”

“You and I have a lot to talk about.” She walked over to her. “I love you. I know you love me too. In two weeks I had a special glimpse into who I truly am.” She smiled at her mother. “I plan to do everything going forward on my terms, Madeline, Mama. My terms. Okay?”

Madeline put a hand to her eyes. “I’ve done the best I could with you both. If you want to throw it all away then so be it.”

Josie sighed, realizing her relationship with her mother couldn’t be fixed in one conversation. She looked to Carlton. “Can we speak? Outside.”

He nodded and she led the way. She glanced once more at Elu. He was walking out of the back of the cabin to the deck. It killed her to see him go. Going with Carlton out the door she stopped and waited.

“I put you through a lot,” she said. “Yesterday I mean. I hurt you.”

“I was worried. I still am.”

Josie nodded. “Carlton, I need you to know that when he found me, I had no memory. Nothing. Especially not us, not at first.”

“I believe you, Josie. We don’t have to talk about it. It’s over.”

Josie put a hand to her eyes. She pressed her lips together to keep them from quivering.

“It is over right?”

“You have to understand, I didn’t mean for this thing with Elu to happen.”

“Thing? You don’t have feelings for a man in the span of two weeks to replace the love we’ve shared in three years. You couldn’t!”

“It’s complicated.”

“No. It’s not complicated, it’s impossible. You have a head injury. That is gratitude you feel, Josie, not love.”

“Don’t do that!” Josie snapped. “I spent all my life with Madeline telling me what my feelings are, my priorities. I won’t let you do it too.”

“Then answer me this. Are you going to throw away your future, our life together, for him? For this? ”

“That’s just it Carlton. I can’t answer those questions now. I thought all I wanted was to be your wife. I was wrong. It was never about being yours, it was about being free.”

“Free? From who? What?”

“My brain!” she laughed but there was no humor in her smile. “I hated being smart. Ever since I was a kid it felt like a burden and when I won that nomination for the damn Nobel Prize it became a curse. That’s why I loved our love. I could be just Josie with you. And I wanted normal things, like PTA meetings and school plays. Waking up on Christmas morning with kids and presents.”

“You can have those things!”

“Can I?”

“Josie, damn it, we love each other. You want to be married babe? Fuck it! We’ll do it. You want a kid, I’ll give you as many as you want. Name it. It’s yours.”

“When did you propose?” she shouted at him. “The last we talked you said you didn’t want to get married, don’t patronize me this way.”

“I changed my mind.” He grabbed both of her arms. “I lost you sweetheart. You scared the shit out of me. I came here and sat under a moon and wrote a song for you. I thought hard about this. You complete me. No one supports me like you do. We get each other. I won’t give you up.”

Josie shook her head. “Remember I have my memory. I know you weren’t ready and I know I pushed you hard. That was never fair to you.”

“Look at me. I love you.” He kissed her. Josie’s eyes closed. She held the sides of his face and returned the kiss. It was sweet and soft, just like the way he loved her. He put his forehead to hers. “I need you. Please, Josie, don’t give up on us, not when I can finally give you what you need.”

The rumbling engines of trucks approaching drew her gaze up and over his shoulder. Two arrived with the Sherriff police cruiser accompanying them. Men got out of the cars in dark suits.

“What’s going on?”

“Where’s Elu?” the Sheriff asked.

“What’s going on?” she demanded.

“We have an order to have him off this property in 48 hours. The courts have seized it.”

They handed her the documents. Josie read them. “He can appeal this, why wasn’t it appealed?”

“Look lady, we need Elu to vacate this land or we will have him removed.”

“The hell you will!” Josie snapped.

“Josie, this isn’t your business.” Carlton reached for her arm.

“Stay out of this.” She shoved the document at the Sheriff. “He will be appealing this order in court on Monday. He has time. I will be in touch, Sheriff.”

“Ma’am?”

Josie stepped to him. “Please, Sheriff, this is Elu’s land. You know that. Give me a chance to save it for him.”

The Sheriff tipped his hat. “Rex, let’s go.”

“Now wait a minute, Sheriff.”

“Let’s go!” The Sheriff said, walking back to his cruiser. Rex glared after Josie.

“Whatever you think you can do to save this land you can forget it. If you want to help Elu, then help him pack.” Rex smirked and walked off.

Carlton stopped her. “What are you doing? You can’t get involved with this.”

“Let me go.”

“Josie, slow down. Think of this. Do you want people to know you’ve been here, held up with him?”

She snatched away. “That’s what it is? People find out I’ve been here with Elu it will make you look bad. Ruin your street cred.”

“Don’t give me that bullshit!”

“Carlton you never wanted to go public with our relationship. Never gave one damn interview naming me as your girlfriend.”

“We agreed to protect our privacy!” he shouted at her.

“No. I agreed to protect your privacy. I agreed to be yours when you needed me, and to be patient when you didn’t. I agreed to wait all night for phone calls that never came. I agreed to wait on marriage and kids until you were ready. I’m not doing it anymore!”

“You talk like what we had was awful.”

“I love you, Carlton, but I found out that I love me too. That’s what this is really about. Me.”

“Okay!” he shouted. Soon they were both smiling. She shook her head looking away. Carlton stepped in her space. He knew his woman, and he needed to remember that. Not fight with her. “Let’s argue tonight, over dinner, wine, and you can tell me how much of a screw up I am. I’ll tell you how things will be different, and we’ll make love remembering why we love each other.”

“Carlton, stop.”

“Josie, don’t pull away. Come with me. I can’t do this here. You owe me that much.”

She nodded.

“He needs me.”

“I need you” Carlton pressed.

Josie wiped under her eyes. “There’s an office of the ACLU in Libby. I will call in a favor for him. Take me to Libby so I can help Elu save this place and we can talk about our future tonight, alone. Deal?”

Carlton sighed, relieved. “Thank God.”

She walked off. She could have said she had no plans of being his wife, or Madeline’s ‘girl’. She could have told him about Leoti. And who she was now. But that wasn’t pressing. She had to help Elu, and the best way for her to do that was with the courts. Walking around the cabin she found Elu strolling through the green, with Po barking, jumping, frolicking in the grass. She smiled.

“Elu?”

He stopped. He didn’t turn around. Josie hurried toward him, desperate to explain herself. Out of breath she put her hand to his back. “Hey?”

“You’re leaving,” he said sadly.

“The Sheriff and Rex they…”

“You’re leaving.” He looked over his shoulder.

She shook her head. “I have to go to help you, to help us both.”

“Then go.”

“Elu, wait. I’m going to file an appeal on your behalf in Libby. I have some friends that I can call in favors with. They want to seize the property. We can stop it, okay?”

“No. Just go,” he said softly, and began to walk away.

“Wait a minute damn it. Don’t be stubborn, don’t be a fool!”

He stopped. He turned and looked at her. She saw such raw hurt in his eyes she had to look away. Even Po looked upon her as if he didn’t know her anymore.

“Po, it’s me.”

The dog put his head down, but remained at Elu’s side.

“So this is it? You two are going to shut me out before giving me a chance. I haven’t chosen anyone yet,” her voice broke.

“We will respect your choice Leo – Josie. But we don’t need you like your family does. I’ll deal with the Sheriff. Go back to your life. It’s where you belong.”

“Call me Leoti, damn it! I’m still her. But if you love me you wouldn’t turn Josie away either.”

Elu looked away from her. She wiped at her tears. “So that’s it. You’re going to shut me out. How is that fair, Elu? Why do you get to hide and I have to face things? Those people want to take your land from you and you can’t win on principle. You need someone like me to fight for you. I owe it to you! I know how to win this.” She took a step toward him. “Elu, please. Trust me, just one more time.”

“Don’t you think I want to? Do you think I could ever look at this place the same way again with you gone? You come here and fill me up with your love, Leoti, until I’m drunk with it. Then it’s over. Your mother was right. I kept the world out, because I found… never mind what I found. I can’t compete with your life, and I won’t force you to give it up. You needed my protection. You don’t anymore. You even look stronger.”