Authors: Nikki Rashan Skyy
Chloe struggled into a sitting position as hope for the women's friendship surged in her chest.
“This dinner is something private between the two of you,” she said.
“What's happening concerns all of us.” Kai's voice deepened with emotion. “I'm sure she doesn't mind. Besides, I think it would be good if you were there too.”
Did Kai already know something about the impending conversation that she wasn't saying? Chloe clasped her hands in her lap. “You're right. We all need to put our true feelings out there and see if it's possible to move forward in a way that we all can live happily with.” She nodded. “If Mom says yes, then I'll come.”
“Good.” Kai drew a breath and smiled again. “Her plane gets here in a few hours. I'm picking her up from the airport.”
“Then we should have dinner here,” Chloe said, making a sudden decision. “I'll cook.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I want to do something for the two women I love.”
She stared at Kai. At the freckles across her nose and cheeks, the lush brown lashes dipping low over mutable eyes. The faint laugh lines around her mouth. Her mouth. For as long as she lived, she would love this woman.
Kai brushed away the new tears that tumbled down Chloe's cheeks. “I'm humbled by you.”
Don't be humbled,
she thought.
Just love me.
But she only looked away from the penetrating eyes to her hands in her lap. It was overwhelming to see Kai again after so many months. The absence had eaten away at her so much that she barely knew what it felt like
not
to miss her. The pain was even sharper now, for she knew that she had to endure the separation and the raw feeling of loss all over again.
But damn. It felt so good to touch her again.
Chloe clenched her hands in her lap. “I'll see what's in your pantry, then go to the market to get whatever else I need. Is that okay?”
“That's more than okay.” Kai put something in her hand. “Here's a spare key to the apartment. You can come and go as you like. I need to go out and take care of a few things.”
Chloe suspected that Kai just didn't want to be closed up in the apartment with her.
“Okay. That's fair.” She stood up. “I'm going to wash my face and get started.”
She felt Kai's eyes on her but didn't turn around. The other woman said something, a soft exhalation of sound, just before Chloe stepped into the well-lit hallway and headed to the bathroom.
When she returned, Kai was standing by the door, keys in hand. “I'll be back later on,” she said. “Make yourself at home.”
Chloe found only a few of the things she needed in Kai's kitchen. Understandably so, since this was her work space and a bachelor pad. After a quick visit to the nearby market, she returned to the apartment, turned on music to distract her mind from thinking about Kai, and began to make a meal for three.
When, hours later, Chloe heard a key in the door, she quickly snatched off her apron and stood by the kitchen sink, steeling herself for her mother's reaction to her presence in Kai's apartment.
“It smells like someone made an amazing summer feast.” Her mother looked over her shoulder at her best friend as they came in, a strained smile on her face.
Kai carried a bag over her shoulder, something big and pink, obviously not hers. She looked nervous but happy. The door closed with a heavy click behind her. Chloe picked that moment to step from the kitchen so they could see her.
“Hi, Mom.”
Her mother stopped and stood still. “Chloe.” There was no surprise on her face, only a wary gladness.
They'd seen each other a couple of weeks before, when Chloe visited Atlanta for her stepfather's birthday. It had been a great visit, but Kai's absence had lent a somber air to the annual festivities, which she usually attended. Noelle Graham had been noticeably unhappy. That was when Chloe decided she had to do something other than wish for the two women to reunite. This response to her letter was even more than she could have hoped for.
“It's good to see you, darling.”
“It's good to see you too, Mom.” With a sob, she was in her mother's arms, eyes tightly closed as she clung to her.
She heard Kai move out of the living room and around the apartment to give them some privacy. Chloe pulled back. “I'm so glad you came.”
“Me too.” Her mother clasped Chloe's face between her palms, looking intently into her eyes. “Thank you for writing that letter, and thank you for not giving up on me.” Her own eyes glistened with unshed tears.
Chloe nodded, unable to say anything.
Her mother sniffled and wiped at Chloe's tears, ignoring her own. “Now, let me help you set the table for dinner, or whatever it is that you need.”
They set the small square tableâit was perfect for two, but it would do for threeâthat sat at a window overlooking the street. In the summer evening, tourists and New Yorkers alike strolled in their shorts and T-shirts, the tender parts of their bodies bare to the warm breezes. The sun was not long from setting, and golden light fell into the kitchen like a blessing.
“Thank you, Mom.” Chloe hugged her mother once more. “Go wash up, and I'll finish in here.”
She couldn't stop the tears that spilled over as her mother turned away and left the kitchen. The two best friends were speaking to each other again. Her mother looked happier than she had in a long time. Kai was . . . still Kai.
Chloe wiped her face and blew out a calming breath. She had herself back under control by the time her mother and Kai sat down at the kitchen table.
After she married Duncan, her mother's appreciation for Jamaican food heightened. Now her favorite meal was the traditional dish called run down, a slightly sweet seafood stew made with fish or shrimp, coconut milk, tomatoes, and spices. In California Chloe had practiced making it, wanting to serve it to her mother on a special occasion one day. This seemed like the perfect occasion.
Kai, a Southern girl to the core, loved chicken and dumplings. And so Chloe had made the two dishes for the women, along with the Mexican corn bread they both loved.
“Oh my God. Is this what I think it is?” Her mother, seated at the table across from Kai, sighed as Chloe set her food in front of her: a wide plate holding two small bowls, one for each main dish. Chloe put the corn bread, cut into squares, in the small space in the center of the table.
“I made your favorites,” Chloe said with a timid smile. “I hope you like it.”
She'd never cooked for her mother before. Noelle Graham was an award-winning chef who had created dishes that literally made people cry. Chloe had always been intimidated by the idea of cooking for her, but she had wanted to show her love in a way her mother would understand.
“It looks incredible, darling.” Her mother looked at the table, then at Kai. “Everything smells wonderful.”
“Thank you.” She placed an identical plate in front of Kai, served herself, then filled their glasses with the fresh peach iced tea she'd made earlier. Finally, she set a bottle of white wine and three wineglasses on the table for later.
She sat on the third chair at the table, draping a napkin across her lap. “Do you want to say grace, Mom?”
Her mother's chin trembled with emotion. “I think I'll let Kai do the honors tonight.”
They held hands, Kai's cool palm against Chloe's left hand, her mother's hand in her right. For a moment, Chloe felt the awkwardness of it. The woman she had made love to, whom she wanted to love for the rest of her life, was holding her hand at the same time as her mother. She bit her lip. Then her mother squeezed her hand, and the feeling of awkwardness went away. Kai began her prayer.
“We thank you, Creator, for allowing these two wonderful women into my life. I am thankful for having them at my table once again. Whatever may come, know that we are grateful for each other and all the happiness we've shared over the years. We live in gratitude for this meal, for our love, for being able to share both freely. Amen.”
Amens echoed around the table before hands were released.
“Thank you.” Her mother glanced at Kai.
The green and gold eyes were dark with emotion. “I'm the one who should be thanking you.”
“Weren't either of you paying attention to the grace Kai said?” Chloe picked up her spoon and prepared to dig into the run down. “We're all grateful, so that's that.”
Soft laughter rippled around the table.
Chloe dipped her spoon in the bowl. “I really hope you both enjoy this. You were in my heart the entire time I was cooking.”
Her mother touched her hand, eyes again shining with tears. “I know, my darling. I'm sure it is wonderful.”
“Don't be so sure. Remember that one time I tried to make Kai chicken and dumplings when I was in high school? It was so awful that she threw up right after she finished choking it down.”
A smile tugged at the corner of Kai's mouth. “I think everyone remembers that day.”
Which was why whenever Chloe offered to make a meal, the response was invariably a resounding no. With amusement, she watched her mother and Kai approach their dinner with cautious spoons poised above their bowls.
“I'll go first.” Chloe put a spoonful of the Jamaican dish in her mouth. Just like when she had tasted it in the kitchen, the mixture of coconut milk, spices, sautéed onions, and tomatoes was fragrant and delicious. The shrimp, which she'd added during the last few minutes of cooking, was perfectly tender, perfectly seasoned, with just a hint of heat from the Scotch bonnet pepper she'd put in the dish.
The two women watched her face carefully as she chewed and nodded, giving them permission to eat their own portions. Not tasting her food while she cooked was a failing of hers while she was growing up. She had thought that since her mother was such a wonderful cook, culinary genius practically ran in her veins. Not at all.
“Oh, wow. This is amazing.” Her mother's eyebrows rose in surprise. “Really, really good.”
Chloe was grateful to see Kai aim her spoon directly at the chicken and dumplings. She spooned a large portion into her mouth, her face neutral but committed. Chloe saw the pleasure overtake the careful mask, her mouth moving as she chewed, a low sound of appreciation leaving her throat.
“Excellent,” she said once she'd swallowed.
Chloe released a breath of relief. “Good. Success!”
“I see what you're doing here, love.” Her mother had also taken her spoon to Kai's favorite dish, eating it with a smile of delight and, of course, surprise.
“I wanted to make sure I got it right this time,” Chloe said.
“It's perfect.” Kai's smile was warm and soft around the edges, as if there was something she was longing to say or do but didn't dare.
“Thank you.”
But it was her mother who lightly touched her hand. “That's not what I mean. I appreciate the love you've put into making this meal for us.”
The tears Chloe had sworn to banish for the evening surfaced again. “I love you both so much!” The words rushed from her. “I'd rather anything in the world happen to me than lose either of you.” She batted her tears away. “But it would be even worse to see you lose your friendship with each other, especially because of me.”
“We haven't lost anything, Chloe.” Kai spoke carefully, tenderly. “We've been dealing with the situation. Noelle may talk a big game, but there's no way that I'm going to let her out of my life. Not ever.” She put her spoon down in her bowl, glanced at both women. “I'm not going to minimize what happened. But the thing that I want to be clear about with you, Noelle, is that I love you like a sister and you're in my life to stay. I'm also in love with Chloe.”
Chloe's spoon slipped from her hand and clanked against the edge of the table. Hot color surged beneath her cheeks, and a tidal wave of hope began to swell in her heart.
Kai continued. “But I would sacrifice what I feel so that you and I can have what we once did.” Her lashes dipped as she glanced at Chloe. “And I think your daughter feels the same way.”
“I don't think you should speak for Chloe on that account, honey.”
“Mom, Iâ”
“It's all right, my darling. I know what you feel.” They'd talked about it over many glasses of wine and many tears. “And I know I can't keep telling you to follow love while getting in the way of your journey when it makes me uncomfortable.” She turned back to Kai. “This situation is a motherfucker. But we'll get through it. We have to.”
The two women exchanged faint smiles, something tender and private, which made Chloe warm with relief. She went back to eating her dinner, deciding to leave the two of them alone together once she finished.
Her mother filled the three wineglasses on the table and put on a determined smile. “So, now that we've dealt with that, tell me, Kai, what's going on with the merger I've been hearing about all over the news?”
The conversation segued into business, her mother and Kai going back and forth about the merits of the merger versus the shit storm it was bound to release, and Chloe bringing a voice of reason to the discussion. Soon their dinner was finished; the iced tea nearly gone. Darkness danced between the city lights just outside the window.
Her mother daintily wiped her mouth and put her napkin on the table. “Okay . . .” She glanced at her dinner companions. “I think it's time for me to step out for the evening.”
Chloe looked at her in surprise. “Where are you going?”
“Why? The last time I checked, I'm grown.” She kissed Chloe on the cheek, then did the same to Kai. “You two need to talk. I'll see you in the morning.” A rueful smile touched her lips. “Maybe even in the afternoon.”
Kai jumped up from the table, accidentally dropping her napkin on the floor. “What do you mean, Noelle?”
“You know what I mean, Kai. I'm not going to stand in the way of my daughter's happiness, even if it means she wants to be with you.” She crossed her arm briefly over her stomach and drew a quick breath, obviously steadying herself. “See you tomorrow.”
Then she was gone, leaving them with the sound of her high heels against the hardwood floors, then the front door closing.
Kai stared at the empty doorway, her mouth slightly open.
Chloe was stunned. She could only stumble to her feet, grab at her wineglass. The dry wine sloshed in her mouth, slid down her throat. She took another gulp, blinking with confusion. She had been ready to give everything up for her mother's happiness with her best friend. And now . . . and now she wasn't sure what was going on.
The dazed look slowly cleared from Kai's face. “You're drinking my wine.”
Chloe looked down at the glass in her hand, realized it was nearly empty, whereas hers was full. “I'm sorry. Iâ”
Kai kissed her. Chloe gasped and backed away, trembling fingers to her lips. “What just happened?”
“Noelle gave us her blessing.” Kai pulled her close again. “She won't fight against us being together. And God knows, I don't want to fight this anymore.” Kai kissed the corner of her mouth, her cheek.
Oh my God. This is actually happening. It is.... It is.
Chloe melted in the soft embrace, the glass of wine tilting precariously between them. Kai grabbed it, put it somewhere, continued kissing Chloe until her mind and body caught up with reality. She parted her lips, allowing the slow buildup of Kai's kiss, the heat blossoming inside her.
Kai's tenderness and urgency brought them to the bedroom. She lay back in the sheets and pulled Chloe down on top of her, kissing her, her tongue seductive and hot in Chloe's mouth. Chloe quivered, turning deliciously liquid with her lover's hands on her hips.
“I love you.” Kai kissed her throat. “Be mine.” Her hands slid up Chloe's thighs and under the thin dress. “I've waited so long for you. Please say you'll be mine.”
Chloe lifted her head. Under her, Kai was a dream finally made real, her copper locks fanning out across the pillow, her lips damp and full. This was the woman who'd inspired her search for the perfect lover. The woman she'd always wanted.
“I've always been yours.” Chloe lowered her mouth for another kiss.