Lessons in Love (10 page)

“All-time favorite movie?” she asked Mark, who smiled briefly at her, clearly pleased with the question.

“See, now that is a tough one,” he began. “But in all honesty, I’d have to say
Shawshank Redemption
.”

“Overrated.”

“What?” Mark gasped. “It’s the ultimate story of hope!”

“But his situation is hopeless. At the end he’s on the run from the law, living in Mexico, which is obscenely dangerous thanks to the drug cartels, and the best years of his life are behind him.”

“You’re a real glass half full kind of girl.” Mark laughed.

“I’m just stating the obvious,” Alex told him flatly.

“So what’s your favorite movie?”

“
Annie Hall
.”

“Okay.” Mark nodded. “That’s a good choice.”

“I’ve got good taste,” Alex declared proudly.

“Evidently.” Mark turned and smiled at her, stunning her with a suggestive gaze. Alex felt her heart almost stop beating in her chest. The butterflies in her stomach threatened to break up into her lungs, making her breath catch in her throat. Maybe there was something between them after all.

****

“So, how was your weekend?” Claire asked breezily as they walked up the front steps into school.

“Lame.” Alex sighed, maintaining the lie that she’d had to stay in babysitting all weekend.

“I can’t believe that you had to bail on the party.” Claire sounded less hurt than she had been initially when Alex bailed on the get-together.

“How was it?” Alex asked as she opened her locker, not really caring about the answer. She imagined the party would have contained the usual dramas. Someone got drunk, someone hooked up, and someone else broke up. Those three events usually followed wherever copious amounts of contraband alcohol could be found.

“Well, Sophie got crazy drunk,” Claire leaned in close and whispered conspiratorially. “She was all over the place; apparently she even threw up all over her mother’s fur rugs when she got home.”

“Oh no.” Alex pitied the rugs more than she pitied Sophie.

“Joey Montgomery broke up with Susan Parton,” Claire continued.

“Really?” Alex pretended to be shocked.

“Apparently he’s been cheating on her for weeks with his new neighbor.” Claire’s interest in the party gossip seemed to be waning as she rummaged in her locker for schoolbooks.

“Anything else happen?” Alex asked sweetly.

“Ah!” Claire triumphantly retrieved her math book, but her jubilation was brief as she looked at Alex, and her face dropped.

“There’s something you should know,” Claire began, her face greyed by an expression of guilt.

“What?” Alex felt a stirring rise of panic in her stomach. Had someone seen her out with Mark? Were people talking? Did they now know that she lived in a trailer?

“At the party, I kind of hooked up with Jeff,” Claire said the words quickly and then recoiled, awaiting Alex’s reaction.

“Kind of hooked up?” Alex reiterated the admission, bemused.

“Well, we did it,” Claire rambled. “But I don’t feel good about it. I mean I do, because I think I like him, but I know you sort of had a thing with him, so I feel bad. You’re my friend, and I don’t want a guy to come between us.”

“It’s okay.” Alex smiled. “Jeff and I were never a thing.”

“So you don’t mind if I start seeing him?” Claire asked, her eyes bright with hope.

“Sure, go for it.” Alex continued smiling, but inside she was shaken. Not by the fact that Claire had been with Jeff, Alex had never had romantic feelings for him, but more that Claire had done it even though she believed that Alex did have feelings for him. At the party, in the moment, friendship hadn’t mattered to Claire, and that disturbed Alex, making her whole body feel cold.

Just how much could she trust the people around her who were her so-called friends? If Claire would have sex with a guy she suspected Alex liked, how could Alex ever trust her to know the truth about her past? The uncertainty of it all made Alex feel sick.

“Jeez, math again,” Claire said mournfully as they closed their lockers.

“Ugh, math,” Alex agreed, trying to hide a smile, her mood suddenly elevated by the prospect of seeing Mark again.

****

Unintentionally Alex caught Jeff’s eye as he entered the room, and he instantly turned away from her, looking shamed.

Settling down at her usual desk, she took out her textbook. For the first time in what felt like an age, she was excited for class to start, determined to pay attention and actually learn something. Alex hadn’t realized just how much she missed learning. She found it much more fulfilling being a good student than a bad one. But she still needed to appear indifferent to Mark’s teachings in front of her peers.

“Morning, everyone, did you all have a good weekend?” Mark asked the class. He was wearing a white shirt over which he wore a lime green sweater vest and smart dark denim jeans. As always, he looked incredibly handsome.

From her seat at the back, Alex waited for his eyes to lock with hers and for that delicious chill to run down her spine, but he didn’t look her way, he didn’t even coyly glance at her. It was as though she wasn’t even there and her desk was just empty.

“Anyone get wasted?” Mark asked teasingly. A few of the guys whooped at this before everyone settled down.

“Let’s start with going over the test you did for me Friday.” He began to distribute the marked test papers among the students.

Claire scoffed in disapproval when her paper landed on her desk branded with the letter D.

“A D!” she hissed angrily across to Alex. “My dad is going to kill me!”

Mark dropped Alex’s paper on her desk, marked with the C+ she’d already seen, avoiding any eye contact with her. Alex shuffled nervously, confused by his indifference. She’d expected them to swap yearning looks throughout the lesson; she hadn’t anticipated that he’d completely ignore her. What if she really was wrong and all he’d been doing over the weekend was being kind to her in the wake of the revelation about her father? Had he taken her to the cinema out of guilt? The prospect of having been a pity date made the room spin, and Alex felt unbearably embarrassed.

“Math is a joke,” Claire scolded the class as she applied a fresh layer of lip gloss, extending the neon pink tube to Alex, who shook her head.

“So, if we work out the first equation.” Mark was busy teaching, but Alex was too distracted to listen. Why was he ignoring her? Had he not had a good time at the cinema?

A wadded up piece of paper suddenly dropped onto her desk. Alex immediately unfolded it, not caring about discreet, she doubted Mark would even notice her reading it.

I think Jeff is ignoring me!!! : ( xoxo
What do I do?

The note was from Claire. Clearly, Alex wasn’t the only one in class feeling insecure about a guy.

Alex glanced forward to Jeff. She could only see the back of his head, his blond hair messed up from riding his motorcycle to school. Usually he’d look back at her a couple of times, but that morning his attention had solely remained on the front of the room. Perhaps he was ignoring Claire?

“Talk to him after class,” Alex whispered her suggestion to her friend.

“You think?”

“Yeah.” Alex nodded.

“Miss Taylor.” Mark’s attention was suddenly on the back row but not on Alex. “Do you know the answer to problem six?”

“Umm.” Claire began to blush profusely. She glanced down at her test paper and then back at Mark.

Mark stared at her intently, one foot tapping the floor impatiently.

“I’m…” Claire tried to stall for time, hoping someone would step in and answer, but they didn’t. This wasn’t the sort of class where people just volunteered answers. That only happened in the more advanced classes, where people were competitive and trying to prove themselves academically. Here, apathy prevailed.

“It’s…” She pretended to think before sighing and shaking her head. “I don’t know,” she admitted.

“Well, maybe if you listened instead of gossiping, you’d learn something,” Mark told her sternly. Gone was the kind man Alex had gone out with only the other night. Instead, there stood a strict teacher who was unflinching in his distribution of discipline among the class.

“Does anyone know the answer to six?” He opened the question up to the rest of the room. People shuffled nervously and avoided his gaze, not wanting to be called upon to answer.

Alex knew. Moreover, Mark knew that she did, but she hoped he wouldn’t call upon her to answer. If he did, she’d only lie and say she didn’t know.

“What should I say to Jeff?” Claire whispered anxiously across to her friend, quickly recovering from her shaming.

Alex shrugged in response. Claire looked at her with pleading eyes, appearing lost, like a child.

“Just be friendly, like nothing happened, and see how he is,” Alex answered, keeping her voice low.

“Okay, okay.” Claire nodded as she listened intently. “So, if he’s distant, he’s not interested, but if he’s friendly back, then it’s on?”

“Exactly.” 

“Miss Taylor, do I really need to tell you again!?” Mark shouted from the front of the room. The sharp tone to his voice subdued the entire room into a hushed silence.

“Sorry,” Claire said lamely.

“Whatever you are discussing with your friend, it can wait until after my class,” Mark told her firmly.

Your friend. So Alex didn’t even get to be called by her name now. She was both hurt and maddened by his attitude towards her. She wanted to speak out, to be rude to him, but she knew it would serve no purpose. She’d let him see her true self; if she continued to play the part of the dumb head cheerleader, she risked him only pitying her further.

She watched him pace at the front of the classroom. He was so handsome and carried himself with such confidence, how could she ever have been stupid enough to think he’d fall for someone like her? A high school senior whose life was so utterly messed up that she couldn’t even be herself with her friends. Alex wanted to leave; she wanted to be able to go back to her old bedroom, to put on a record and watch the trees sway in the wind, and just cry away her troubles.

She’d cry as Fleetwood Mac ordered her to go her own way and asked her about loneliness beating like a heartbeat. She saw now that her favorite album, the one that had defined so much of her growing up, was actually a break-up album, and she needed to hear it more than ever.

Claire was silent for a while, pretending to listen to Mark teach as she played with her hair. After about ten minutes, when his back was turned, she quickly leaned across to Alex, seizing her moment.

“But do you think Jeff does like me?” she asked urgently.

Alex opened her mouth to answer, but Mark spoke before she could.

“Miss Taylor, you’ve run out of chances. You’ve earned an after-school detention. Tonight.”

Claire’s mouth fell open in horror. Mark scowled at her before resuming writing on the board. He didn’t look at Alex, didn’t even glance in her direction. Was she suddenly invisible to him?

Claire, now afraid to talk, texted a message on her cell phone that she hid on her lap under her desk. Alex felt her phone instantly vibrant in her pocket after Claire had finished texting. Sliding the handset out, Alex used her finger to unlock it and discreetly read the incoming message
.