Lessons Learned (11 page)

She smiled.

“Tommy says you are absolutely all he talks about. He really cares about you, Sarah.”

“I care about him, too.”

“But?”

“But I’m an emotional mess, and I’m just not sure a serious relationship would be the wisest decision right now.”

“I disagree. I think focusing on something positive and good is exactly what you need. Besides, Lucas has his own demons. Maybe the two of you can help each other.”

Daniel began to wiggle in my arms, and I snuggled him close to my chest, burying my nose in his hair. He always smelled so good, and I wondered if that was true of all babies or if it was just him.

“Lucas hasn’t told me much about what happened in New York.”

“He hasn’t told Tommy a lot, either. You know, if you’re interested, we could do some digging. The Internet is a glorious thing.”

I was already shaking my head. “No way.”

“Don’t tell me you aren’t tempted, Sarah.”

“You know, Lucas could very easily do his own digging—and I guarantee my demons would be much easier to find—but he hasn’t. He’s respecting my privacy. Are you saying I shouldn’t do the same for him?”

“Of course not,” she replied. “I’m just saying it’d be tempting, that’s all.
Something
brought him here.”

“He’ll tell me when he’s ready.”

After Daniel awoke from his nap, the three of us spent the rest of the afternoon baking and watching cartoons until they finally headed home for dinner, leaving me with my jumbled thoughts and dozens of cookies.

I boxed them up, deciding my creative writing class needed a little taste of Grandma Grace.

“I was just like you when I was a senior.”

Eager hands reached into the box of cookies while I walked up and down the aisles.

“I could not wait to leave Sycamore Falls. My grandma was the one to suggest I find a college in the city. In her mind, the only way I could truly understand the world was to live in it. She and my grandfather had lived in Atlanta for a brief period of time, and it was then, and only then, did they truly appreciate living in a small town like Sycamore Falls.”

“How could anyone appreciate living here?” Carrie asked.

I could tell the rest of the class was wondering the same thing. They were just too busy devouring my cookies to question anything I was saying at the moment.

“It was confusing to me, too,” I replied, settling onto the edge of my desk. “I was so desperate to leave it all behind I barely glanced in the rear view mirror as I drove out of town.”

“But you came back,” Matt pointed out, and the class shook their heads. It still amazed them I’d actually chosen to return.

“You know, Miss Bray, maybe you just moved to the wrong city,” Howie suggested.

“I mean, going from Sycamore Falls to Memphis must have been a shock to the system. Maybe you should’ve picked a medium-sized town.”

“Maybe so, but Memphis offered me a full scholarship.”

The seniors murmured their agreement. When money is in question, you choose the school offering you the best deal.

“But that’s a discussion for another day. I told you about my grandma—and shared her cookies with you—because I want you to think about people who inspire you. People who accept you for who you really are. My grandma taught me so much more than just how to bake cookies. She taught me it was okay to ask questions and she encouraged me to spread my wings. I want to know who inspires you. Tell me all about the person in a 300-word essay, which we’ll read aloud tomorrow.”

They groaned, not necessarily because of the homework, but because none of them were particularly comfortable with public speaking. I softened the blow by letting them eat the rest of the cookies while they began to write, and it wasn’t long until the bell rang. The class filed out, and I was just closing the lid on the leftovers when I heard a voice in the doorway.

“I thought I smelled your cookies.”

I shook the container and lifted the lid. “I have a few left.”

Lucas walked over to my desk, grabbed a cookie, and stuffed it into his mouth.  He hummed in appreciation, and I laughed as I turned toward the board. I was just finishing writing tomorrow’s assignment when I felt him close the distance between us. His chest brushed against my back, and my breath quickened. Placing the cap on the marker, I gently placed it on the tray before slowly turning around to face him.

“Hi,” I whispered.

“Hi.”

I glanced over his shoulder to make sure no one was watching. I could hear faint voices, but it was the end of the day and kids rarely lingered in the hallways.

“It’s a beautiful afternoon,” Lucas said softly. “I’d like to take you somewhere.”

“You would?”

He nodded. “But you’ll need to change. I don’t think those heels will work on the trail to Sycamore Falls.”

A slow smile crept across my face.

“You really loved it there, didn’t you?”

“It’s beautiful,” Lucas said, his voice quiet and low. “It’s also the perfect place to have a very important conversation.”

My smile faltered.

“Lucas, I don’t know if I’m ready—”

“You don’t have to be ready,” he said. “
I’m
ready. I want to tell you what brought me here. I want to tell you about New York.”

My heartbeat sped.

“But why?”

“Because I can’t expect you to share your darkest demons with me if I don’t offer to do the same,” he reasoned. “You don’t have to be ready to tell me yours, but I’m ready to tell you mine—that is, if you want to hear them.”

I took his hand in mine.

“I want to hear them.”

Chapter 9

Despite the sunshine, the air surrounding the falls was colder than our last visit. Fall was definitely just around the corner, and I couldn’t wait to show Lucas how pretty the mountains could be in the autumn.

    He’d been noticeably quiet on the walk to the falls, and I understood why. He was preparing to bare his soul to me, and I could appreciate how difficult that must be. I also knew, deep in my heart, it really didn’t matter what he confessed to me today. Lucas was quickly becoming my best friend, and despite not knowing the reasons behind my breakdowns, he’d taken care of me each and every time I’d fallen apart in front of him. He’d never belittled me or made me feel ashamed for being weak, and he’d never once asked for more than I was ready to give.

Today, I would do the same for him.

When we finally reached the falls, Lucas led me toward a giant boulder near the trees. He handed me the blanket he’d been carrying, and I wrapped it around us. We sat side-by-side, gazing at the swelling river before us. The recent rains had caused the river to rise, and the current was swift today. A gust of wind made me shiver, and Lucas wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close to his side.

“It’s always colder near the water,” I said quietly.

“Yeah.”

I gazed at his profile as he stared out across the river. He really was handsome. Had I ever told him so?

“Sarah, why are you staring at me?”

I laughed.

“I was just thinking you’re very cute.”

He grinned at me.

“I’m a grown man. I can’t be
cute
.”

“Fine, you’re very handsome. Better?”

“Much.” Lucas laughed quietly, pulling me closer.

Our laughter faded as he pressed his forehead against mine. His crystal-blue eyes were tortured as his voice dropped to a faint whisper. “What if you hate me?”

“I could never hate you.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong. I promise you.”

“I believe you.”

Taking a deep breath, he pulled away, and I immediately missed his warmth. We were still snuggled beneath the blanket, but we were barely touching. Something told me he needed some distance, at least during his confession.

“Her name was Marina.”

Of course, this sad story would start with a woman. I hated her immediately.

“A girlfriend?”

“No.” His eyes, now icy and hard, were fixed on the river. “She was my student.”

My blood ran cold.

“Marina was seventeen but dressed like she was twenty-five,” he continued quietly. “She was an Honors student whose parents expected her to get into Harvard. Since her only B was in American History, her parents asked if I would tutor her. She was a good student, and I wanted to help her raise her GPA, so I agreed.”

Lucas rose to his feet, and I pulled the blanket tighter around me. Like a caged lion, he began to pace along the sand.

“I was tutoring two other students that same semester, so it wasn’t as if she was special, but she thought she was. I had no idea she had a crush on me—not until the day she leaned across her desk and kissed me on the cheek.”

My heart was now thundering in my chest.
He didn’t kiss her back. I know he didn’t.

“I’ve gone over it so many times in my head. What did I do to give her the slightest hint I would think of her in such an inappropriate way? I swear I was nothing but professional. I never touched her—not even a pat on the back.”

I nodded numbly. “What did you do when she kissed you?”

“I immediately left the classroom and went straight to my principal to report the incident. When the police questioned Marina, she happily admitted to kissing me. She then confessed she was pregnant, and she named me as the father.”

I gasped softly as his voice broke. I had to resist my desire to console him. I wanted to hold him. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to tell him I believed him.

“New York City is this massive metropolis of over eight million people, but when a student accuses her teacher of statutory rape, the big city is suddenly a very small place. Word spread like wildfire, and I was placed on administrative leave within the hour. My parents were mortified, and my professional reputation was shot to hell.”

“But you were innocent!”

My outburst pulled him out of his misery, and he turned toward me, offering me a sad smile.

“How do you know, Sarah?”

“Because I know you.”

Lucas walked toward me, dropping to his knees on the sand and placing his hands over mine.

“Yes, I was innocent,” he whispered. “The investigation was embarrassing and excruciatingly long. When my attorney pushed for an amniocentesis to determine paternity, Marina completely freaked out. Her lawyer tried to convince the court the procedure was just too risky to the baby, but the judge ordered it anyway. That’s when Marina finally confessed the child’s father was actually her twenty-two year old boyfriend. I was cleared of all charges—and there was a formal public apology—but the damage was done. It would always be a shadow over me—something I’d have to explain to any future employer.”

I squeezed his hand reassuringly.

“It’s the most terrible feeling—being accused of something you didn’t do. It’s especially horrible when it’s something so humiliating. Even though I was found innocent and my job was reinstated, I just couldn’t go back to the same school. I took a leave of absence and spiraled into a depression that scared the hell out of my parents. It was actually my mom who suggested moving out of the city.”

“I understand,” I replied. “I’m surprised you even stayed in the profession.”

“I thought about leaving, but I still love teaching, in spite of everything. I know that doesn’t make much sense.”

It made perfect sense to me.

I grinned. “Sycamore Falls is definitely ‘out of the city.’ How did you find it?”

“My parents liked to vacation in the mountains,” Lucas explained. “It was always so beautiful and serene, and I promised myself if I ever moved away from the city, I’d find my own place in the country. I got online and looked for job openings, and I found the history position at Sycamore High. I researched the area—”

“I bet that didn’t take long . . .”

His eyes grew wide. “This place isn’t even on Wikipedia!”

I laughed. “We should write an article for the website.”

“We should,” Lucas agreed with a smile, his fingers squeezing mine before he rose to his feet and sat down next to me. Smiling, I offered him the blanket, and he snuggled beneath it, wrapping his arm around my shoulder, and pulling me close. “So, for someone who wanted to make a new start, this seemed like the perfect place.”