Let Go (27 page)

“
No, don’t
touch me.” He can’t stop his hands from moving. Slowly, his arms
are moving to her back, pulling her into him. He whispers, “It’s
okay, I promise.” She’s pounding on his chest. When he looks into
Mollie’s face his hands instantly release her and his head is
moving toward the brick wall. He braces for the sound but it
doesn’t come. Instead a sharp pain stabs at his temple.

His eyes pop
open as he realizes what happened. He rolls off of the couch into
the coffee table. He reaches up, rubbing his forehead where he hit
the corner. Shit.

Trinity rushes
in, wide-eyed. She starts laughing when she sees him on the floor
between the couch and the table. He sits up, carefully realizing
how sore he is from working out and the damn couch. The fall
doesn’t help matters.

He looks up
smirking at her and admits, “We’re going to have to do something
about these sleeping arrangements. My back can’t take much more of
this couch.”

She skirts
around the table and sinks into the cushions as he moves up onto
the edge.

“For at least
a few days it won’t matter. Grey, we’re going to Vegas
tomorrow.”

She frowns,
“Did you have a dream, is that why you fell off the couch?”

As her words
about Vegas register, tightness moves into his chest. One name is
on the tip of his tongue, Mollie. He has a feeling that’s where she
is and he’s not sure he wants to see her again. He moves his mouth
into a smile assuring his sister he’s just as excited as she is. He
knows she is trying to keep her own spirits up, trying not to think
about Parker, as he is trying and failing miserably not to think
about Mollie. This last dream was something else. Suddenly he
became Theodore James striking the wall and Mollie was the girl
again.

He stands
telling Trinity, “Hey, I need to take care of some things today.
Can I use your car?”

She nods
reaching for the TV remote already trying to distract herself from
her new reality. He knows all too well what that’s like. His hand
moves to the remote forcing her to look up at him. She squints in
an attempt to conceal her pain.

“Hey, I’m here
if you need to talk.”

Her face
conforms to a firm look as she stares at him for a minute before
answering, “Grey, I think we both have terrible communication
skills but when you decide to open up and share with
me
,
I’ll talk to
you
.”

Fair
enough.
He turns without answering her. She calls quietly,
“That’s what I thought.”

He smiles at
her words but really it is terrible just as she admitted that
neither one of them can open up and discuss their problems. Today
he vows he will make a move toward trying but not with Trinity. She
has too much going on to even know what his demons are. She would
never be able to handle how shitty his stuff is.

When he makes
it to his room, he makes a call knowing this may be the deal
breaker for sleep tonight.

An hour later
he is sinking into a chair across from Bethany Edwards. She smiles
that same homely smile as he takes a deep breath. She asks, “So do
you think you’d like to share today?”

He nods but
stays silent. He’s not sure where to start and what to tell her. He
doesn’t want to relive that night all over again. It’s too painful
and still so fresh and raw. He decides to go with the dreams. As
much as he’s tried, he has to admit that he isn’t done thinking
about Mollie.

“There’s a
woman and a nightmare.” He stops and waits. The look on her face is
stoic. She reveals nothing.
Fuck.

“Every time I
picture the woman needing me to help her, I try to help and she
disappears.”

He waits once
again and she moves her mouth in a tight line.
What the
hell?

“Greylan,
there must be more. Is there?”

It’s his turn
for a tight line. He decides he doesn’t want to share. He can’t
tell her about five years ago and it’s silly to analyze his shitty
dreams without that piece of information. Coming here was a mistake
that he regrets. His hands move to his knees clenching as one of
them bobs up and down with uneasiness.

She sighs,
“What do you think these dreams mean?”

He doesn’t
answer.
This is so typical. Can’t she do any better?

“You called
me
Greylan. I can’t tell you anything if you don’t open
up.”

He sits statue
still thinking this was a bad idea. He’s not ready to tell her this
shit and he’s about to battle in his first pro fight. If he hashes
it all out now, he won’t be able to concentrate. He stands
clenching his jaw to keep his anger at his whole situation at
bay.

“Okay,
Greylan, it’s fine. I get it, dreams and a woman. She’s important
to you obviously. Do you know what it means?”

He shakes his
head refusing to speak.

She stands
telling him, “Good luck this weekend.”

He frowns not
understanding how she could know about his fight.

She clarifies,
“I see Jackson every week Greylan. He told me he might not make it
in next week because of your fight.”

Greylan nods
and leaves without a backwards glance.

Fuck Mollie.
She made it worse. Her red hair and green eyes scream at him. He
longs to see her again. Now he’s pissed at Bethany. The shrink is
useless as far as he’s concerned. She gave him some noncommittal
responses, what do you think it means? If he fucking knew, he
wouldn’t have to try and talk about the shit to her. He admits to
himself he is failing miserably at that too.

When he gets
back to the apartment Trinity is in the exact spot that he left
her. He can tell she isn’t even paying attention to whatever is on
the screen. He sinks into the seat next to her and stares ahead a
moment. He sighs, looks over to her watching her face. She doesn’t
move or return his stare. His hand darts to her nose and pushes.
Her mouth moves turning up on the sides but that’s the only
reaction he gets. His hand drops along with his attempt at
improving either of their moods.

They remain
like this for most of the afternoon barely speaking, each in their
own personal hell. The longer Greylan sits there staring at
mindless TV the more his mind wanders to all the things he’s failed
at. His little sister beside him is essentially in pain because of
him. If he would have stayed around and not left her she probably
would have never met Parker and been in this heartache. His arms
cross in an attempt at getting more comfortable. The thoughts make
him want to crawl out of his skin, shed all of the shit roving
through his mind.

Finally at
dusk he pushes off the couch and looks down to Trinity. She’s been
dozing in and out of naps. He takes a deep breath to pull himself
out of the funk, “Okay, enough moping. We both need a change of
scenery.”

She glances
up, a tear rolling down her cheek and shakes her head.

“Aw Trin, come
on. You’ll feel better.” He reaches out and squashes her nose. She
smiles in response but doesn’t acknowledge him otherwise. It breaks
his heart that she is so depressed. He has never seen Trinity so
upset besides when he was sentenced. She has always been the one to
float around always happy and carefree. It’s his fault that she’s
had to endure the horrible things she’s had to go through.

She seems to
sink further. He lets out a frustrated breath, leans over and picks
her up effortlessly laying her over his shoulder. She guffaws in
shock and starts laughing while yelling, “Grey, put me down!”

But the
laughing quickly transforms to heavy sobs. Her stomach constricts
uncomfortably against his shoulder. He takes her into his room,
sets her down and gathers her in his arms as she cries. His
thoughts are all over the place. He wants to hit Parker so badly
but all of this is more his fault than anyone else.

“Trinity, I am
so sorry you have to go through all of this. If I wouldn’t have
left you wouldn’t have to go through this.”

He takes a
deep breath wrestling with it all.

She sniffs and
withdraws her head from his chest. Looking up at him she glares and
pushes him away, “You still don’t get it do you? This isn’t about
you not being here for me. Greylan, stop it. You’ve always been
there for me.”

Before she can
continue he shakes his head and looks to the floor.

“Greylan, will
you just listen to me?”

He looks back
up his eyes wider and full of the pain they both carry.

“You have to
forgive yourself. Carrying around all of this guilt is not good,
Grey. Everything that happened is done. You can’t take it back. You
can’t change it but you can face it and move on.”

“Greylan,
that’s all I want for you. Go on with your life and find happiness.
I know you think you don’t deserve it but you of all people deserve
it the most. You are my big brother who always puts everyone else
first. Live your life Grey, the way you’re supposed to.”

Her words mean
a lot but his demons are still an arm’s length away. They always
will be. He pulls her back into his arms and squeezes quickly
before releasing her.

“Trinity, I am
sorry that this shit happened. None of this is what mom and dad
would have wanted. They expected me to take care of you and shield
you from pain like this.”

She shakes her
head, “No, they would have wanted both of us to live our lives and
from this moment on, that is exactly what we are both going to do.
Remember, no regrets.”

She pushes him
toward the doorway, “Get out of here so I can get ready. We’re
going out for a change of scenery, right?”

He smirks and
leaves for the door. A glance back shows the cloud in her features.
Guilt takes a hold of him but he pushes it inches away. Tonight he
needs to make sure Trinity gets a chance to escape the pain and he
knows exactly where they will go to try and lose it all.

When he looks
up, crossing the threshold into Juno’s Christina lets out a loud
whistle and exclaims to anyone around her, “Well, well, if it isn’t
our resident champ. Have you come to grace us with your presence
before you move on to bigger and better things?”

He shakes his
head not commenting while leading Trinity to a chair at the bar.
Christina sets up two low glasses and pours whiskey into each.
Trinity frowns and grabs Greylan’s arm, “Hey, I thought you were
going to lay off of this until after the fight.”

He grasps the
glass and looks over, “I need this and so do you, get your
glass.”

She lifts it
saying, “To getting rid of all this shit.”

“Couldn’t have
said it better myself.”

They both
drink as Christina comes back around. She pours again but this time
Greylan encourages her to fill only Trinity’s glass.

“Well that’s
just great, I get to drink alone now,” Trinity huffs out.

“No ya don’t,
I’m here for you Trin.” Christina fills Greylan’s glass and tilts
it back. Greylan leans into the chair trying to keep a clear head
but a glance down the bar reminds him of the night that he first
spotted Mollie. She was mysterious then and now, he still knows
very little except that he can’t forget about her as hard as he
tries.

“Hey Grey,
Check it out.” Trinity brings him out of his thoughts. He glances
to the television over the bar as his face flashes across the
screen. The caption across the bottom reads, ‘fighter is given
second chance’. Christina turns the volume up just as the announcer
is stating…”Greylan Pace an MMA fighter with a background in
wrestling from Penn State was up for the pro circuit over five
years ago when he squashed his chances and openly punched a man in
an alley killing him with brutal force…”

“Turn it off,
Christina, I can’t watch this.”

Christina
holds her hand up to shush him. He brings his head into his hands
and the announcer continues… “Now Greylan Pace, after starting all
over again from the bottom, has worked his way back up. Many say
he’s getting a well- deserved second chance. Critics are opposed to
his rise, stating he had his chance and it’s gone. He’s scheduled
to fight David Pontas with a background in Jujitsu, five years his
junior, just making it into the circuit himself. Will Pace take
this offering and make a go at it or has it been too long, is his
time up?”