Let Me Go (25 page)

“What’s up, little guy?” I throw him up in the air and he yelps. I squint my eyes from the loud noise. After our show last night, and a few too many Heinekens, I may be slightly hung-over. Which is probably where the animosity of everyone coming with us today forms.

“Aren’t you so excited, Matty? What’s your favorite animal?” Chrissy barrels into the room as her wavy blonde ponytail swings from side to side.

“Elephant,” Matty answers and then sits down at the table while I offer to pour him a bowl of cereal.

“Which one, bud?” I position the three boxes in front of him.

He whips around to face me, a smile from ear to ear. “You got me Avengers cereal?” There’s that whole
I’m God
persona I strive for. As much as I love how much he thinks I’m the coolest thing ever, I don’t forget that there’s no disappointing him, too. Although, I don’t see anything bad happening between me and Paige, if it does, Matty won’t understand if I’m not around.

“I did.” I snatch the credit until Paige comes in and narrows her eyes at me. “Well, your sister may have been with me,” I add and she laughs moving toward the fridge.

Chrissy sits down next to him. “Do you know that people call Dex, Hulk?”

“Don’t confuse the kid, Chris.” I step in front of Paige and she slips by me, but not without my hand cupping her tit. I hate the hiding in front of Chrissy; I’m growing tired of our secret relationship. I want Paige to sleep in with me instead of hightailing it out before Chrissy and Dex wake up. We’ll have to talk about that tonight, because at this point I’m invested enough that Chrissy will understand.

“Hulk?” Matty questions with wide eyes. “He has a lot of muscle.”

“Yes he does,” Chrissy agrees like the lovesick chick she is.

Moving over to the table, I lean over to Matty. “Bigger isn’t always better. Think of Spiderman, he can climb buildings.”

“Are you comparing yourself to Spiderman?” Chrissy arches her eyebrow at me.

“No. I don’t need to be compared to some super hero, I’m original.”

“That you are,” Paige whispers in my ear as she slides in the seat next to Matty. Her agreement spurs another zing of warmth right to my heart.

An hour later, we’re filing into the zoo like a pack of lions, Trey being the papa lion. He’s carting a wagon with Drew and a cooler. The kids are all in matching green shirts and he’s dictating our schedule before we even enter. Seriously, slap on a fanny pack at this point. Trey is all in daddy mode.

Matty hangs around Tara and Chloe, constantly running and laughing. I catch Paige smiling as she watches him acting so carefree, like a four year old should be.

“He really likes them?” Kailey walks alongside Paige.

“He does. Other than day care, he hasn’t had a lot of interaction with kids.” Paige is so honest it’s admirable.

“That’s a shame. He’s welcome at our house any time. Sometimes it’s easier with other kids in the house.” Kailey laughs and then the two of them begin talking about Matty and Paige’s mom. She surprises me that she’s so willing to let people into her business. Another sign she’s so much better than me.

“I’m sensing a secret.” Brady comes on the side of me. Sadie pushes the stroller for Jessa as the two of them chat away.

“You sense nothing.”

“You like her, do I dare say—”

“You don’t.” I end the conversation, looking around to make sure no one else hears him.

Brady laughs and then chats up Trey about what direction to go in.

“Matty!” Chrissy screams. “Elephants.” She points to the dirt grounds with four elephants on their feet with tails swinging and ears moving. I think I need to introduce him to some Tigers and Lions. Animals that run fast and are killer hunters.

Matty and the girls run over to the fence, stepping up on the ledge, peering over. “Whoa!” I yell, lunging over to them. “Don’t lean over. You don’t want to fall.”

Laugher erupts behind me. “Man, what kind of effect have you had on him?” Trey says to Matty, smirking over to me.

I tilt my head and narrow my eyes in a sarcastic movement. I won’t admit it now, but Matty just scared the shit out of me. Paige steps up next to me, her fingers grazing against mine and when I wheel around, she’s smiling. Suddenly, I don’t feel stupid for being overprotective of a kid I’m not even related to.

“Eww . . .” the kids yell in unison as they watch the elephant poop in front of them.

Matty backs away from the fence and scurries over to me and Paige. “Did you see the elephant take a shit?” My eyes go wide and I watch a mortified Paige evolve.

“Matty!”

The kid just stares not knowing what he did wrong. Paige having the intuition she does squats down to his level. “That’s a bad word. Where did you hear it?”

My heartbeat picks up, as I replay every interaction with him. I rack my brain if he heard it from me, because I don’t want the wrath of Paige.

“Daddy.” We all can tell by Matty’s tone he’s confused and doesn’t even understand which word he said that’s bad.

Her shoulders slump and she places her hand on his shoulder. “You can’t say it anymore.”

His head falls down and his shoulders begin to shake. My heart drops to my stomach as I watch the kid losing it in front of everyone. My eyes flip to Paige who doesn’t skip a beat in wrapping him in her arms. “It’s okay, Matty. You’re not in trouble, you just can’t use that word.” As she tries to soothe him, he only wails more.

Tara and Chloe come closer and they each try to cheer him up by swinging their arms around the boy, but damn, this isn’t going to help. The boy is too young for a threesome, so I have no choice but to fix it.

“Who wants a snow cone?” I ask and Chloe and Tara run over, deserting their boy for sugar.
Sad really.

Matty picks up his head, wet and splotchy cheeks with red eyes. The interest is there, but he’s still embarrassed.

“Matty, what’s your flavor?” He turns to me, so I’m making progress. Paige’s eyebrows raise, silently asking me what I’m doing.

“They have blue raspberry. Remember the slushy you had last weekend? That dyed your lips and tongue blue?” I pour as much excitement as I can into my inflection and luckily he buys it, running over to join the girls.
Gotcha.

Once the four of us evade the hut and I purchase them all snow cones, the three kids lead the way to the next animal.

“If I didn’t know any better,” Brady hints and I shake my head.

“You don’t,” I say and he laughs, slapping me on the back. “I’ve never seen you so happy.”

He passes me by and it’s hard to keep one foot in front of the other and not stop in my tracks. Happy? Have I really not seemed happy all these years? I mean, I knew my insides were gutted, but I thought I performed one hell of an Academy Award act. Guess I was wrong.

The thing is, I’m genuinely happy when Matty’s around and even happier with Paige. Neither one of them sees my faults—they only stare at me with affection and love. The question is, can I overcome my doubt of trust in order to see where this is really going with Paige and me? I know the answer; I just have to gain the nerve to tell her.

The longer the day, the more I’m obsessing over everything Paige does. The way she tucks the lose strands behind her ear as she talks with the girls. Her gentle and loving caresses to Matty’s shoulders or back of his head. Not to mention the sexual glimpses she keeps firing my way. If I’m behind her, all that I think about are those long legs wrapped tight around me as I slide into her.

“Okay, cut the shit. What’s going on?” Brady slaps my back, awakening me from my critique of my emotions for Paige.
Could I? No way.

My eyes flash to his prying and observing ones. “Nothing, why?”

The girls are up with the kids while all the guys, besides Dex, linger behind the pack. Dex and Chrissy ran off somewhere and I’m fairly positive it was behind the snow cone hut to fuck. Did the orangutans going full speed at it, make them so horny they couldn’t hold off?

“Why? You’re looking at her like cupid just pierced your heart.” Trey chimes in his two cents.

“No man.” I shake my head. “She’s just hot, you know? Wouldn’t mind tapping it if Chrissy wouldn’t have blocked me.”

The four of us stroll in line and it’s odd having Grant right beside Brady, listening to all of this. I’m not exactly friends with the guy, so he doesn’t need to hear how bad I want the brunette in front of me.

“You’re so full of shit. There’s more than just your dick getting hard,” Trey starts in again.

“Don’t you have a diaper to change?”

“Don’t you have to buy a snow cone?” He laughs and I shake my head again. “It’s us, man. Look at each one of us. We’ve all surrendered to their power.” The other three nod and think about the way they lost the battle.

“Yeah,” Grant whispers. “Shit, I’ve got a second kid on the way. Why the hell wasn’t I covering it up?”

“Please, you were meant to be a dad. I got a girl that’s so obsessed about her wedding, she forgot why the hell it’s happening to begin with.” Brady’s eye pin Sadie’s eyes. “But damn if I could give a shit. I just want her to hold my last name.”

“She loves you man, anyone can see that,” I add and all three of their heads whip around like a tall blonde with big tits just strolled by.

“That’s it, I’m calling it.” Grant raises his hand in the air. “I know we’ve had our differences, but you have the look and if these assholes aren’t going to nail you to the wall for it, I will. You want to do more than fuck her, just admit it.”

Holy shit, it takes the one that shouldn’t be here to call me out on my shit. Why doesn’t he just saddle up to my ex-girlfriend like damn sloppy seconds?
That’s unfair. Shit, what the hell is wrong with me? I’m not even willing to go after Grant in my own damn head?

“The faster you face it, the happier you’ll be.” Brady quirks his lips and jogs ahead, rushing to Sadie’s back. When he tightens his hold on her, she squeals.

Brady’s action grabs Paige’s attention and she peers back at me, giving me that smile that calms my whole body. They’re right, it’s over; the battle has been lost.

ALTHOUGH MY MIND
is completely exhausted from my back to back classes all day, my body still yearns for Rob’s contact. So, when I emerge out of Beacon Hall and spot him sitting on the bench facing the building, I smile. Then I notice a herd of girls stalk past him. He glances up from his phone and then looks back down. His reaction of indifference widens my smile, even if I have to remind myself to keep that guard up. Guys like Rob don’t just do a one-eighty because of one girl. I’ve witnessed women all of my life who think they’ve tamed my dad, only to be heartbroken days later.

His head rises when rushes of students emerge from the building and a smile crosses his face when he spots me watching him. He tucks his phone in his pocket and breaks the distance between us. “Hey.” He tucks his hands into his pockets and rolls back on his heels. It’s odd to see this sense of shyness in him.

“Hi.” I straighten my messenger back over my chest and his eyes divert to how it separates my breasts.

“I like the bag,” he jokes and I shake my head, shoving his shoulder.

“Of course you do.”

“Can you blame me?” he leans in, “I enjoyed them in my hands last night.”

A warmth spreads throughout my body from his words.

His hands search mine out and then entwines our fingers together. “You have no idea how much I want to kidnap you back to my bedroom right now.”

“Why don’t you?” I ask as his forehead dips down, pressing against mine.

“Because I’m going to try like hell to be a gentleman for once.”

“What fun is that?” I ask, forcing back my own tigress wanting to spend the rest of the day in bed with him.

“Not very, but it’s a necessity, because if I always did what my dick wanted, you’d be locked to my bedpost.” His forehead leaves mine, but his body inches closer.

“Way to tease a girl.” I release one of my hands from his and swipe my finger down his chest.

He winks. “I do my best.” Then he grabs my hand and leads me away from the building. “Lunch before the real teasing begins.” He chuckles and I allow him to guide me through the mass of students filing into the building.