Let Me In (14 page)

              Later that night, after we picked up Kori’s Bronco from Sawyer’s, she and I are lying in bed holding hands. 
              “Will you play me something?  I’ve really missed hearing you play.”
              Kori jumps out of bed and grabs her guitar from the corner.  She sits cross-legged on my bed just like in my drawing.  I’m momentarily struck dumb as I look back and forth between the drawing and her.  She’s so damn beautiful.
              She takes a moment to tune her guitar, then she begins strumming.  “I think this song is perfect for us right now,” she informs me.  She proceeds to sing Jason Mraz’s “I Won’t Give Up”.  I smile at her aptness because this song truly is ideal for us.  We might have had to go all the way to hell and back to be together, and not every step of the road was perfect, but I suddenly realize that I wouldn’t change a thing.  I hate that we hurt each other, but this moment is sublime. 
              As soon as the song is finished, Kori sets her guitar aside and launches herself at me.  “I can’t hold myself back any longer.  It’s been entirely too long since I’ve been with you.”  I agree wholeheartedly with her as she crushes her mouth onto mine.  Her lips devour mine as her tongue creates an intricate dance with mine. 
              “I need you naked,” I groan as I pull her shirt up over her head.  I hurl it across the room and stare down at her lacy bra.  Kori always wears the prettiest underwear.  It’s like getting the best damn Christmas present in the world wrapped in the most beautiful wrapping paper you can imagine.  Sometimes I don’t know which I like better - seeing her wear her bra and panties or seeing her completely naked.  Either way is a winning situation for me, so I’m not complaining.  Kori pulls down her jeans as I quickly shuck my clothes.  My hungry eyes devour her body in all of its flushed prettiness.  My dick twitches as I notice Kori looking at my body with the same hunger.  Her gaze stops at my chest and she focuses in on something.  I hold my breath because this could go either way.
              “What’s that?” 
              I rub the spot over my heart.  “I think it’s a tattoo,” I answer flippantly.
              She smacks my arms.  “Thank you, Captain Obvious.  It’s new.”
              “Yeah, I got it while we were apart.  It’s you, babe.  You’re in my heart and in my mind and in every thought and breath.  I wanted a part of you on my body.”  She leans closer to get a better look at my newest ink.  It’s a songbird composed of twists and curls.  The ink is done in a vibrant emerald green, just like her eyes.  She lightly traces over it with her guitar-callused finger tips.    
              “It’s beautiful,” she finally breathes.
              “You’re beautiful,” I reply.
              Our bodies meet and twist around each other as we try to get as close as possible.  I want to take my time and savor her, but it’s been entirely too long since I’ve been inside her.  My mouth makes its way down her perfect body, stopping at all of its favorite places.  She still tastes the same, and my mouth can’t get enough of her.  I smile to myself as I hear her moans of pleasure and feel her body writhe underneath me.  She finally grabs my hair and yanks me up to her.
              “Enough,” she gasps out.  “I need you inside me.”
              That’s also what I want more than anything else in the world, so I position my body over hers and thrust into her.  I still for a moment and take time to enjoy the moment.  Being inside her still feels like home to me.
              “Tuck,” she rasps out, “I appreciate you wanting to take your time, but if you don’t fuck me hard right now, I’m going to scream.”
              I’m only too willing to oblige her, and our bodies begin a frantic, primal mating.  It’s as if we are trying to make up for the past three months apart.  I want to imprint her body with mine to ensure that she never forgets what it’s like to have me inside of her.  I want to know the inside of her body as well as I know the outside.  Her moans and my grunts are the only sounds that exist for us.  I can feel her body begin to clench around me, and my dick is the happiest thing in the world.  She rides her orgasm out in a shudder, and my own release follows.  I collapse on top of her and flip to my back, pulling her on top of me. 
              “You make me so happy, Kori.  I swear I’m going to spend the rest of my life making you happy as well.”
              “You already do, Tuck.  You already do,” she whispers quietly.  I feel like the biggest pansy as tears prick my eyes.  This woman is my everything.

17

Kori

              My life at this moment is completely different from my life three months ago.  I am eating better and drinking less.  I have quit pushing my friends and family away, and they have forgiven me for my idiocy.  My music has returned to me, and I once again enjoy playing.  The best difference is Tuck.  It’s almost as if we were never apart; we have meshed our lives back together seamlessly.  The only dark cloud hanging over my perfect life is the topic of my real dad.  It’s been a couple of weeks, and I still haven’t mustered the courage to see him.  I did broach the topic with Gran and Gramps, and they were just as shocked as I was to discover that my mom had an affair all those years ago.  Their emotions were much like mine, ranging from shock to anger to sorrow.
              I sigh happily as I turn to face Tuck in my bed.  This is the favorite part of my day; it’s just the two of us lounging around and doing our end-of-the-day routines. 
              “What’s wrong?”  Tuck is always so concerned with my well-being.  He’s so different from the guy that so many girls on campus described.  I know that he used to be a player, but he has never once shown that side to me. 
              “I’m just happy, that’s all.”  My fingers trace over the tattoos on his upper arms and shoulders.  Not even all of the various shades of black can distract from the perfect beauty that is Tuck.  He always gets annoyed when I call him beautiful.  He grumbles about being sexy, not beautiful, but I think that he secretly loves that I find him beautiful.  Sure, he’s sexy and hot and all those other adjectives, but he’s beautiful on the inside and out.
              “I think I want to go meet my dad tomorrow,” I announce.
              He sits up suddenly and looks at me excitedly.  “Really?  That’s great, Kor.”  He looks slightly abashed as he runs his fingers through his hair.  I prepare myself for what it is that he so obviously uneasy about revealing to me.  “Don’t be mad, but I did a bit of research on your dad.”
              “What?  When did you do that?  What did you find out?”
              “He still lives in Monroe, and he is married with two kids.  He’s a high school football coach.”
              I decide that I’m not mad that Tuck gathered all of this information without my knowledge; I know he only did it because he doesn’t want me to be hurt again.  I give him a quick kiss of thanks as I lean back to process this new information that I have learned. 
              I have a whole other family that I never even knew about.  A dad and stepmom and two stepbrother or stepsisters.  “Boys or girls?” I ask Tuck.
              He knows exactly what I’m referring to.  “Boys.  They’re seventeen and fifteen.  Kori, you’re not going to believe it when you see them.”
              “Wait, you’ve seen them?”
              “I’m sorry, Kori.  I know you wanted to do it on your own, but I had to make sure it was safe.  I went over there last week.  Don’t worry, I didn’t talk to them or anything.  I just saw him from a distance.” 
              “I’m not mad, Tuck.  I know why you went, and I love you for wanting to protect me.  Will you go with me tomorrow when I meet them?”
              He looks so excited at my hope to include him in my quest for my new family.  “Of course, babe.  I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
              As Tuck moves to wrap me in his arms, I am aware that tomorrow my life will change yet again.  I don’t know if the change will be good or bad, but I do know that it will be unforgettable.  But at this moment, Tuck makes me forget everything as he moves down my body to show me just how much he loves me.

              “Are you nervous?” Tuck asks me as I sit in the passenger seat of my Bronco.  My leg is bouncing up and down as I fight to keep my nerves at bay.  I shoot him an incredulous look at his ridiculous question.
              “Hmm, let’s see.  I’m going to meet a man I had no idea existed a month ago with the intention of telling him that I’m the bastard child he fathered when my mother had an affair with him twenty-three years ago.  I’m going to drop this bomb on him and totally fuck his life up.  Nope, not nervous at all.”
              “I see your nervousness hasn’t affected your sarcasm.”
              “Sorry,” I mutter. 
              Tuck spends the thirty minute drive attempting to engage me in senseless conversation.  I am entirely too nervous and agitated to focus on what he is saying, so he eventually gives up and lets me complete the drive in silence.  He places his big hand on my leg, and he provides me strength through that simple gesture.
              We reach our destination and park in front of an older two-story house.  The house has loads of curb appeal with its pale yellow color and dark blue shutters and door.  Bright white wicker furniture rests on the deep porch, and colorful flower beds are neatly mulched and awaiting spring’s arrival. 
              I wipe my sweaty palm on my jeans.  I had wanted to present myself as well as possible, but I also didn’t want to come across as trying too hard.  So I settled on wearing a pair of light colored jeans with a cream top that was flowy and falling off one shoulder.  I paired it with my best boots.  Tuck had assured me countless times that I looked fine, but I was still nervous about making a good first impression.
              I don’t expect this surprise reunion to be anything like you typically see in a movie.  I don’t expect him to come running toward me and profess his love and loyalty.  Honestly I will be satisfied if he doesn’t spit in my face and tell me to leave. 
              Tuck walks to my side of the Bronco and grabs my hand.  “You can do this, Kori.”  He gives my hand an encouraging squeeze and we set off toward the front door.
              My boots make a hollow sound as I climb the short steps and make my way across the porch.  My hand is shaking as I ring the doorbell.  Tuck takes a small step behind me but keeps his hand on the small of my back.  After what feels like an eternity, but in all actuality is only a few moments, the front door opens and I am staring at a man whom I am certain is my father.  He has dark brown hair the exact color as mine and a handsome face.  I am startled to discover that we have the exact same hue of emerald green eyes.  He has a confused look on his face.
              “Are you Clark Powers?” I ask.
              “Yes,” he replies uncertainly.  “How may I help you?”  His voice is deep and comforting and immediately sets me at ease.
              I chew on my bottom lip as I contemplate my next words.  There is no easy way to say this, so I decide that the old adage of ripping a band aid off works here as well.
              “I don’t exactly know how to say this, but I think you might be my dad.”  I watch as his face pales and his eyes widen.  He swallows nervously and appears to be thinking quickly.
              “Are you Valerie’s daughter?”
              I gasp in astonishment.  “Yes.  How did you know that?”
              “Why don’t you both come on in?  It appears we have a lot of catching up to do.” 
              I look behind me at Tuck and he gives me a hopeful smile and nudges me forward.  I follow Clark – my dad – into the house.  I instantly know that this is a house filled with love, not hatred and violence.  It makes me sad to know what could have been.  I missed out on so much, and it’s easy to despise my mother once again for all of her poor choices.  I remind myself that I have made a vow not to live in the past, so I quickly try to bring my thoughts out of the murky waters of my childhood.
              Clark directs us to take a seat in the living room.  Tuck and I sit on the couch and he sits opposite of us in a brightly patterned chair. 
              I realize that I haven’t introduced us, so I hasten to rectify that. 
              “I’m sorry, I haven’t told you who I am.  I’m Kori O’Malley and this is my boyfriend Tuck Hayes.”
              “And I’m Clark Powers, but you already know that.”  He forces a small smile and runs his hair nervously through his dark hair.
              “I apologize for showing up out of the blue like this, but I didn’t know what else to do.  I just found out about you, and I had to know if it was true.”
              “Why don’t you start at the beginning, and I’ll fill in all the missing pieces for you.”
              I nod in agreement.  “Well, the beginning isn’t exactly pretty, but I’ll tell you everything.”  Tuck squeezes my knee in support, and I begin my tale.  “My childhood wasn’t pleasant.  My dad was a cop, but that didn’t stop him from abusing my mom and me any chance he got.  There were plenty of days that I wore long sleeves to hide the bruises that he left on me, and my mom became an adept liar to justify the bruises on her.”  Clark is gripping the arms of his chair so tightly that his knuckles are white.  He looks horrified and saddened by what I’m telling him.  I decide to skip through the years of abuse and get right to the heart of the matter.  “My mom baked me a cake on my sixteenth birthday.  She was determined that we would have a nice family party, just the three of us.  My dad came home, took one look at the decorations, and flew into a rage.  He pulled out his pistol and shot her.  I flew to her in shock, and he then shot me.  His third shot killed my mom instantly.”  I’ve had seven years to come to grips with this story, so I’m able to tell my account without tearing up or faltering.  As I look at Clark, I realize that my story has affected him deeply.  He has tears running down his face.  He leans forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees.  He rubs his hands across his face.
              “I’m so sorry, Kori.  I had no idea.  I remember when your mother was killed.  It’s a small area, so a shocking crime like that was big news.  But I swear to you that I had no idea you were my child.  If I had known, I would have done something.  Hell, I would have never let you grow up like that.”  He runs his fingers through his hair and jerks at his dark brown locks.  “Dammit, why didn’t she tell me you were mine?  I had a right to know.  How did you find out?”
              My heart warms with the knowledge that he didn’t desert me; he never even knew that I existed.  “Two weeks ago, I went to see my father in prison.  I hadn’t seen him since the day his sentencing was handed down, but I felt that I needed to put my past to rest.  Confronting him was a crucial part of that plan.  I’ll spare you the heartwarming conversation that we had, but he did tell me that my mom had an affair and that you were my father.  Apparently he found out a couple years after I was born.  He didn’t blame you since he believed you didn’t know she was married.  Instead he took his anger out on my mother and me.”
              Clark is sitting there with a shocked look on his face.  “They both knew all those years.”  His voice trails off as he sits lost in thought.  Tuck and I exchange a look; we are both aware that Clark is taking this news much better than either of us had expected.
              Clark clears his throat.  “Yes, I had a relationship with your mother.  I met her at a bar one night where she was singing karaoke with some of her girlfriends.  She had a voice like an angel.”
              Tuck interrupts Clark, “Kori does also.  And she plays the guitar.  She’s amazing.  You should hear her.”
              Clark focuses his eyes on me.  “I would really like that.”  I nod my head shyly at him.  “We closed the bar down, just sitting there talking.  We continued to see each other for about three months.  In all that time, she never hinted that she was married.  And she never told me that she was pregnant.  I can’t believe that she did that.”
              I ask the question that I’ve been dying to know.  “Did you love my mother?”
              Clark looks at me sharply as he considers what I’ve asked him.  “No, I didn’t.  I think that I could have, but she left me before I had a chance to know for certain.”  He sucks in a deep breath and huffs it out quickly.  “What do you want from me, Kori?  I’ll be totally honest with you.  I want to get to know you.  I’ve missed out on the last twenty-three years of your life, and I will never get that time back.  I wasn’t around to save you from a shitty situation, but now that I know you exist, I would love for you to be in my life.”
              I nod my head slowly as my face breaks into a delighted smile.  “I would love that, too.”
              His smile matches mine as he processes my words.  “Great.  Now tell me about the two of you.”
              We spend the next couple of hours talking about our lives.  I tell him about living with my grandparents after my mom died.  He is impressed with my love of all things vehicular and reveals that he also has a motorcycle.  He quickly falls under the spell that Tuck weaves over every person he meets; it’s impossible to have a conversation with that boy and not fall in love with him.  Clark reveals that he is married and has two boys, Zack and Micah.  His wife’s name is Stephanie, and they have been married for twenty years.  I’m anxious to meet the rest of his family, but I decide that he should have time alone with them to reveal my new presence in their lives. 
              For a day that began with so much trepidation, it has turned into one of my favorite days ever.  I went from thinking that all the family I had left was my grandparents to having an instant family with a dad, stepmom, and two half-brothers.  Clark assures me that he feels they will be excited by my existence.
              As Tuck and I are preparing to leave, Clark surprises me by pulling me into a hug.  I find his gesture reassuring and extremely fatherly.  I don’t remember John ever hugging me, and that goes farther in cementing my burgeoning relationship with my new dad.
              “Clark, I play at Sawyer’s in Alexandria every Tuesday night.  It’s just open mic night, but I would love it if you could come one night.”
              “I’ll be there, Kori.  May I call you sometime?”
              I fight back the tears that I feel forming in my eyes.  This is a happy day, and I don’t want to shed any tears, even if they are happy tears.  “I would love that.”  I press a swift kiss on his cheek and climb into the Bronco.  I wave goodbye as Tuck backs out of the driveway.  This day has exceeded every expectation that I ever imagined.  Sometimes great things come out of great tragedy.  I’m pleased that even with all the nut shots that life has handed me, I’m able to get something good out of it.  I feel myself finally putting my past behind me and moving forward.  If I hadn’t taken a chance and let Tuck in, I never would have gone to visit John.  That visit revealed Clark to me, and I can already tell that he’s worth letting in.