Lethal Deception (20 page)

Gabe sighed and dropped his head. “All I can tell you is that it’s my fault that he was on that mission. I pushed him into it. He didn’t want to be there. Said that if he was on that mission, it could jeopardize whatever else he was working on. That’s all I can tell you.” He looked back down, held that position for about a minute then looked back up. “I have to get permission to talk to you about this. I can’t just…Cass, I can’t.”

Admiration for his integrity warred with frustration at his refusal to talk. She finally said, “What do you mean, you pushed him into it? Gabe? You? It’s your fault he died?” Tears dripped down her chin. Emotions swirled. She didn’t know anything and needed some space, time to think. “Fine. You go get permission from whomever you have to, but don’t come back until you do.”

Gabe wanted to scream.
God, she’s supposed to understand this. Please, make her understand.
Being a part of a SEAL team had been his job, his life. There was no way he would jeopardize anyone by saying something he’d been sworn to keep quiet about. And he still wouldn’t. Not even if it meant losing the woman he loved.

May 20

C
assidy hadn’t heard from Gabe in over four weeks. The last time she’d seen him had been the day after she’d been shot. Today was May twentieth and as she walked through the mansion’s gardens before heading for her car, she gave thanks for her parents’ reconciliation and the fact that there hadn’t been much political fallout from Cindy’s announcement regarding her parentage.

Her father had gone on with business as usual, apologized publicly for embarrassing himself and his family, but most of all for the pain Cindy had grown up with.

Cindy.

A complex young woman who truly regretted she’d allowed herself to be taken over with anger and bitterness. She’d been charged with two counts of attempted murder.

Cindy was in deep trouble, but Cassidy had forgiven her and visited her in jail. Maybe soon she’d be ready to hear about a heavenly father who forgave and loved unconditionally.

A glance at her watch told her that her weekly Bible-study group would be arriving in a couple of hours. She had come to her parents’ house to drop off Alexis. Now she would go home, put together a snack for the ladies and do her best to put Gabriel Sinclair out of her mind.

Gabe. Was he as miserable as she? Probably. One thing she didn’t doubt was that he really cared for her. But Micah would always be between them. Eventually, she’d come to resent him. And she wasn’t doing that to either of them.

The pain that accompanied thoughts of Gabe zinged its way through her heart. By the time she reached her house, she didn’t remember the drive home. She needed to snap out of it. Her wound only twinged as she pulled into the garage. It was healing nicely.

She climbed out of her car and opened the door that led to the kitchen. Then she pushed the button to lower the garage door. Maybe one day she’d be able to shut it before she got out of her vehicle.

Twenty minutes later she was ready for her guests. Cassidy had volunteered her living room this week. It seemed to be a good way to start getting things back to normal.

Someone knocked on her front door, then called, “Cass, you here?”

“Amy!” Cassidy hurried to greet her friend with a bear hug. This was the first time she’d seen her friend since the episode in the hospital. “You came.” Cassidy frowned. “You’ve lost weight.”

“Food isn’t high on my list of priorities these days.” Tears, never far from the surface for Amy, rose fast, but she managed to blink them back before they fell.

Cassidy gave her another squeeze, then ordered, “You get the ice cream. I’ll pull out all the goodies to go with it. The bananas are there on the counter ready to be sliced.”

Amy focused on slicing the banana. Cassidy asked her, “So, how’s it going?”

“My mother’s in jail. It’s not going too well.”

Cassidy didn’t take offense. Her friend was hurting—bad.

Amy slapped the knife down on the counter. “This was a bad idea. I’m sorry. Maybe I’d just better go.”

“No! Please, Amy, just give it a try. You’re my best friend in the whole world. You helped save my life.”

Amy picked the knife up again. This time she managed to slice the whole banana and put it into a bowl. “Well, I suppose it was the least I could do at the time considering it was my mother who…”

Cassidy sighed and placed her hands on her friend’s shoulders, forcing her to turn and face her. “Amy, look. You are not responsible for your mother’s actions any more than I’m responsible for my father’s.”

“Your father didn’t kill anyone.”

“No, but he still could have destroyed his family. Your mother made her choices, Amy. Horrible ones. But you’re a different person. You can make right choices that are honorable and decent. Pity parties aren’t fun. I know. I used to have them all the time. I’m not saying you shouldn’t grieve over the loss of your mother and your family as you know it, I’m just saying don’t let it destroy you and all the good you have in you—and all the good you can do for other people.”

Tears slid down Amy’s cheeks and Cassidy tore off a paper towel to mop them up for her. Amy sucked in a deep breath and grabbed the chocolate syrup. “So,” she began as she twisted the top off the jar, “have you heard from Gabe?”

Cassidy winced. But if this topic would take Amy’s mind off her mother…“No.”

“And you haven’t called him?”

“Uh-uh.”

“Well, don’t overwhelm me with details,” Amy said dryly.

Deciding this called for the straight stuff, Cassidy squeezed the bottle to drizzle the chocolate into the spoon. She stuck it in her mouth, swallowed and sighed. “I’m sorry. It just hurts. He knew all along what happened to Micah but didn’t breathe a word. He was the one who pushed Micah into that mission. That—” she jabbed the spoon under the water faucet to rinse it off and then let it clunk into the sink “—makes me mad. Really, really mad.”

“Yes, I guess that would do it.”

“So—” Cassidy decided to change the subject “—you ready for our Bible study? I heard someone pull up outside.”

The doorbell rang.

Cassidy left the kitchen to go answer the door. “Hey, guys, come in. Go on into the kitchen and make yourselves a sundae, then come into the living area.” Four young women single filed through the door and on into Cassidy’s kitchen. Cassidy went into the den where Amy sat working on her sundae.

Everyone giggled and talked while they scarfed down the sundaes, then after opening with prayer, Marcie pulled out a small book with her notes in it. “Okay, since Cassidy was so gracious to let us use her place, I planned the devotional. I was reading in Solomon about how we deserve the best God has to offer—especially when it comes to relationships. In Solomon, the bridegroom went after his lady, probably a poor peasant girl. When Solomon approached her as her king, she was intimidated and ran from him. Unwilling to give up, Solomon disguised himself as a shepherd. Once she fell in love with him, he revealed himself to her and loved her with a love that said he would be right beside her and they would survive the toughest times. And rejoice together in the happy times. He showered her with gifts and compliments. He pursued her with a love that every woman deserves.”

Cassidy nodded even though her heart pinched with fear that she and Gabe would never be able to work things out. She swallowed hard, but broke in to say, “I see just what you’re getting at, Marcie. God loves us like that. He pursues us relentlessly. He carries us through the tough times. He showers us with blessings and gifts in our lives. He tells us how wonderful we are and how He knew us and had a plan for us when we were knit together in our mother’s womb. And He meets us on our own turf where we are.”

Amy blinked back tears and Cassidy reached out to wrap her hand around Amy’s and squeeze it.

Marcie nodded and said, “That sounds like a first-rate love if you ask me. He chases us down to get our attention, our focus on Him.”

Cassidy thought about something. “His love letter,” she burst out. She gripped her Bible and held it up. “It’s in here. All we have to do is read it to see how much He loves us.”

Cassidy thought about Kara, who’d relentlessly, over the years, sought a relationship with her sister, Susan. And Susan, who’d refused to read her sister’s letters. They were right there all the time, expressing love and acceptance. All she’d had to do was pick them up, open them and read them. Just like God’s Word; His love letter to his people.

Two women, Amy and Susan. Both had had the opportunity to reach out and grab love with both hands. Susan had rejected it, choosing to wallow in her resentment and anger. Amy, however, had cried out to God to rescue her. And He did.

So where did that leave her and Gabe? He certainly wasn’t pursuing her. She hadn’t even heard from him in four weeks!
I need to forgive him, don’t I, Lord?
But was there really anything to forgive? Had Gabe actually done anything wrong? Cassidy flinched at the thought. Gabe knew she needed to know about her brother and yet he hadn’t told her.

But
he’d taken an oath to protect his country and keep confidential what was confidential. Cassidy grudgingly admitted she had to respect that even though she couldn’t live with it on a day-to-day basis.

He’d also professed to love her and yet had willingly walked away without a fight.

Solomon had been willing to do whatever it took to win his lady’s hand. Would Gabe be willing to do the same?

May 22
First thing Monday morning

Gabe stepped out of his ex-boss’s office and squinted against the bright summer sunlight. His heart felt lighter than it had in four weeks. Since Cassidy told him to get out of her life. Ever since then, Gabe had been fighting confidentiality, orders to stay quiet and the desire to bash several high-ranking heads together.

Instead, he’d kept his cool and persevered. And finally got the answer he wanted. Basically, he’d procured permission to tell Cassidy the bare essentials about the mission and her brother’s involvement.

But she had to promise to keep it confidential and if she said anything, she could be arrested for treason. As long as Gabe could get her to agree to this, he could tell her. This was highly unusual and Gabe had pulled more strings and called in more favors than he ever had in his life. But he’d done it.

Not only was he sticking his neck out by sharing classified information with her, his ex-boss’s neck was also on the line. But Gabe knew if Cassidy made this promise, nothing would drag the words from her lips. She would carry them to her grave.

And he could ask her to marry him. Again.

Plus, he missed the munchkin, Alexis. But he’d honored Cassidy’s request to stay away from her. Now he could find the stubborn woman, tell her about her brother and ask her to marry him.

But first, he had one stop to make.

Cassidy decided she had just lived through the longest weekend of her life. She’d prayed and paced, paced and prayed. Poor Alexis just watched her with a bemused expression then went back to her toys. If it hadn’t been for the presence of the child these past few weeks, but more specifically, these past two days, she would have given up and gone certifiable.

Cassidy had come to the conclusion that quite possibly Gabe had done nothing wrong—other than not call her over the last four weeks. Of course, she had told him to get out of her life. He was an honorable man and he’d honored her request.

He’d also honored his vow to keep confidential what he’d been ordered to keep confidential.

So, how could she hold that against him?

She couldn’t.

Call Gabe.

“Okay, Lord, I want to. But how can I? Can I love him like he deserves without coming to resent him for his silence?”

All things work together for the good of those who love Him.

“What good is going to come out of this? I mean, I believe You, I just don’t see it…Don’t get me wrong, I know You see the big picture, but…”

Forgive him.

“Forgive him? I’ve already done that.”

Forgive him.

Cassidy sat for a brief moment as she considered this. She’d forgiven Gabe, hadn’t she? Well, of course she had. Yes, she’d come to terms with the fact that he couldn’t tell her about her brother. But then again, would she still be so turned inside out about his refusal to discuss a highly confidential case if she’d forgiven him and accepted the situation?

Probably not.

The doorbell rang and Cassidy jumped. Grumbling, she wondered who’d made it through front-gate security. Mentally, she ran down the names on her list that didn’t require a call to let her know they were coming.

She peeked out the peephole.

And nearly passed out.

She opened the door and blurted, “What are you doing here?” Ouch, that came out wrong.

Before she could apologize, Gabe pulled his hands from behind his back and thrust a single rose under her nose. He said, “I’ve missed you, Cass.”

“Well, you have a funny way of showing it.” No, no, this was not going right at all. “I’m sorry. Let me start over.” Deep breath. She took the rose, and its sweet fragrance gave her heart a lift. “It’s beautiful, thank you. I’ll just put this in water.”

Gabe followed her into the kitchen. His intense dark gaze scrutinized her every movement, making her nerves jump up and down under her skin. She fumbled with the flower and finally got it into a vase and set it in the windowsill. Absently, she stroked a finger down a petal.

Cassidy took a fortifying breath and turned to face Gabe only to find her nose buried in his chest. Blood hummed through her veins. Goose bumps danced along her arms, the little hairs on her skin standing straight up. Gabe reached up and traced a finger down her cheek. “It can’t compare to you.”

She let out a shaky laugh. “Okay, Gabe. What’s going on?”

“Like I said. I’ve missed you.” He stepped back and Cassidy took advantage of the moment to scoot around him.

“Come on into the den.”

Gabe’s smile let her know he knew exactly how he was affecting her, but he willingly followed her into the den area and plopped down on the couch.