Lethal Temptations (Tempted #5) (17 page)

“You got the drugs?” I asked, trying to sit up. It was a yes or no question so, I’m not sure why they’re all tiptoeing around like a bunch of pussy’s.

“C’mon man, don’t worry ‘bout that shit. You need to concentrate on getting off this shit and getting yourself good,” Jack said, reaching over to help me sit up.

“I want to know,” I insisted, glancing around the room before bringing my eyes back to Jack. I watched as he raked his hands through his hair, cupping the back of his neck as he bit the inside of his cheek and debated on what bullshit lie he would spew at me.

“We took the drugs from The Red Dragons,” Riggs offered.

The room fell silent as I watched Bone’s elbow Riggs in the gut.

They got the drugs from Sun Wu, the leader of the Red Dragons, the same club we went to war with when Cain controlled us. The Red Dragons were big time dealers back in the day but the G-Man shut their business down and used the Satan’s Knights and Cain’s addiction to aid in his cause. We shut down the Dragons, stole their business and left them high and dry. They were vulnerable at the time, their trade business wasn’t off the ground yet and taking away the drugs was like cutting them off at the knees. Sun Wu supplied the cops with the location of the two bodies of those kids that overdosed and died. He was trailing me, I knew it then, but I ignored it because I was a greedy, cocky motherfucker who thought I was invincible. After the cops found the bodies, they built a case against me. Greg Brantley was new to the force and trying to make a name for himself, and the Red Dragons led his ass straight to me.

I proved to be invincible.

Christine not so much.

Brantley got his hooks in her.

“You got the drugs from Wu? Are you out of your fucking minds?” I barked, pulling the wires off my arm as I sat up.

“Blackie, it’s good. We’re good. Jones arrested Jimmy at Temptations with the drugs,” Jack explained calmly. “Everything went like we planned.”

Famous last words.

Nothing ever goes as planned.

Lesson fucking learned.

“We didn’t plan to fuck the Chinese,” I shouted furiously in between coughing.

“It’s fine, brother. Wu and the Dragons have no idea it was us. We have a meet with them tomorrow for another shipment of guns. We’re good man,” Pipe offered. “We’re fucking good man, relax!”

I was useless lying here in this bed, I needed to be out on the streets smoothing shit over with the Corrupt Bastards and keeping my eyes and ears open for when Wu discovered the truth.

“Tell him your news,” Pipe ordered Riggs.

“What news?” I asked bewildered.      

“Yeah, give it to him. He’s going to love this shit,” Wolf agreed.

I turned my attention to Riggs, watching as he snarled.

“Fine! I gave you mouth to mouth,” he exasperated.

“Not that!” Jack said, shaking his head.

I rolled my eyes, looking back at Riggs expectantly.

“Shit,” he sighed. “I’m having a kid,” he continued.

“Give him the good stuff, tell him who’s the baby mama,” Pipe said, wiggling his eyebrows as he glanced at me. “Wait for it…”

“Fuck off,” Riggs said, flipping the bird to Pipe.

“Riggs knocked up Bianci’s sister,” Wolf supplied.

“Come on guys,” Bones started.

I stared at him blankly for a second. The only one possibly more fucked than me right now was Riggs. Not that having a kid was so fucking terrible, but having Bianci as an in-law? Fuck, if my heart didn’t bleed for Riggs, even though he was a fucking pain in the ass. Even though he was responsible for the resurrection of Sun Wu.

“Glad I could amuse you fuckers,” he grunted.

The glass doors opened causing me to turn my head and my eyes locked with Lacey’s. She leaned against the door, taking a deep breath as she continued to stare at me.

Those eyes.

Man, I wasn’t sure if I’d see them again.

It all came crashing down on me like a ton of bricks. The whole ordeal of being held captive by Jimmy and realizing the only reason I wanted to fight to live was to be able to look into those eyes one more time.

But with that, also came the truth—I was sitting here with a methadone drip and I’d never be what she needs. I already had the blood of one innocent woman on my hands, I’d fucking die a slow death before I covered my hands with Lacey’s too. I did what I was supposed to do, I kept her safe and didn’t let Jimmy get to her and that’s where it had to end.

I remembered the pain in her eyes, the night she came to the clubhouse, and I fought to keep the memories of her wrapped around me at bay but staring into her eyes now, the pain was still there. Was I the only one who saw the demons reflected in those pretty eyes? I wondered if God put them there only for me to chase them away.

I shook my head, dismissing the thought, reminding myself I was poison, a man who couldn’t even help himself let alone anyone else.

She’s not my problem.

My club.

That’s what I need to focus on…. getting the fuck out of this hospital so I can be the soldier I am. I had one goal and only one and that was to end the G-Man and all his connections, damn the consequences. Lacey didn’t fit anywhere in my plans.

“You’re okay?” She whispered, ignoring everyone as she stepped toward the side of my bed. “You’re okay,” she repeated, this time her words surer than the first time she uttered them. She reached out to touch me and I turned my head, my eyes meeting Jack’s.

Wrong fucking place to look.

“I’m good, kid,” I muttered, clearing my throat. “Going to want my gun back,” I told Jack.

“Yeah,” he agreed, his eyes wandering back and forth between Lacey and myself.

I felt her eyes on me and it took every fucking ounce of self-control I could muster up not to give in and look back at her, not to reach for her and pull her onto this bed with me.

“So a kid, huh?” I said hoarsely, turning to Riggs, pleading with him to save my sorry ass.

“Yeah, I’m going to be a dad,” he confirmed as he stared back at me hiding his smirk.

“Congrats, man,” I said, clenching the sheet with my fists as I ignored the hurt expression adorning Lacey’s face.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” she whispered, turning on her heel before scrambling out of the hospital room.

Run baby, it ain’t safe here for you.

“Lacey,” Jack called.

Shit.

“Dude, speaking of Pea…” Bones started, glancing at the clock.

“Pea?” Jack asked distractedly, starring after his daughter.

“Don’t ask,” Riggs mumbled.

“Didn’t Lauren have the doctor’s appointment today?”

“Shit!” Riggs roared. “I’ve got to get out of here,” he said hastily, starting for the door. “Glad you’re awake, brother,” he added before jetting out of the room. Bones rose to his feet.

“I better go make sure he doesn’t fuck this shit up any more than he already has,” he explained, giving me a two-finger salute before following Riggs out the door.

Jack turned to me.

“Time you and I had a talk,” Jack said before glancing over his shoulder at Wolf and Pipe. “Do me a solid and go make sure my girl’s okay,” he barked.

“Isn’t that his job?” Wolf pointed out as he tipped his chin towards me.

“Not anymore,” Jack ground out, keeping his eyes steady on me.

Yeah.

We were about to have
that
talk.

Chapter Thirteen

It’s exhausting fighting with your own head and most of the time I believe it’s worth the battle. In essence I’m the winner because I didn’t feed from the lies my mind tried to fill me with. But what if they aren’t lies? What if the thoughts that your mind creatively spins is the actual truth you were trying to ignore?

I have struggled to own my truth, the one that my heart tells me and not the one my mind does. I tell myself my mind plays tricks on me, that it wants me to believe one thing when I believe another. I argue that my truth is real because I feel it and don’t think it. The heart is a thing of beauty, something that thrives on love and affection, not lies. So, when your heart calls to you, you listen to nothing but the beating vessel of truth.

But I don’t know if those are the thoughts of a naïve girl desperate for someone to love her or if they are the thoughts of a strong woman who fought for control over her mind and found truth in the jaded eyes of the man she loves.

He barely looked at me. I visited him every day for two weeks, whether it was for five minutes or two hours, I didn’t miss one day. I sat there, holding his hand and asked him all the questions I wished he’d answer, like why everyone calls him Blackie, and if the club chose him or he chose the club. I wanted to know everything about him, even the ugly, and then I wanted to be the one to show him that where there is ugly there is beauty.

I wanted him to wake up and realize that he was gifted a second chance at life, and as much as I wanted him to look at me and notice I was standing in front of him asking for a chance to love him—I wanted for him to look in the mirror and decide his life was worth something.

He woke up.

Thank God, for that.

But, he woke up and he looked right through me. It was like I didn’t exist and every touch, every small gesture, and stolen glance----they were all figments of my imagination. A cruel trick my mind played on my heart.

The heart doesn’t lie.

The mind does.

The heart is gullible.

The mind is vindictive.

I glanced around the empty hallway, taking deep breaths as hot tears streamed my face. I heard Riggs and Bones walk out of Blackie’s room and I quickly spun around, wiping at my cheeks with the back of my hands and hurried down the hallway.

I needed to get out of here. I had already made a fool out of myself, charging into his room like his woman, earning suspicious eyes from the club….my father included. Everyone excerpt Blackie.

Get over it, you’re nothing but Jack’s daughter.

He doesn’t want you.

He looks at you and still sees you as Little Lacey Parrish.

You’re just a job.

You’re nothing.

“Shut up,” I hissed, through clenched teeth as I collided with another body. I lifted my head and stared at my father’s girlfriend.

“Looking for these?” Reina asked, holding up my keys.

“How?”

“You dropped them on your way to see Blackie,” she stated, reaching into her purse she pulled out a handful of tissues and handed them to me.

I forgot that I bumped into her. This morning we buried my uncle, my father’s brother Danny, whom Jimmy Gold killed months ago. The feds had just released his body after closing their investigation and my father had Bones’ set up a small burial at Green-Wood cemetery. After the service, when everyone was getting ready to leave, Pipe announced the hospital had called and Blackie had finally woken up. I went home with my mother, lied to her about meeting up with my friend Daniela and drove my ass straight here. I was in such a hurry I nearly knocked Reina on her ass.

“Dry your eyes,” she insisted.

“It’s not what it looks like,” I tried to cover.

“Oh honey, it’s exactly what it looks like,” she laced her arm through mine as Wolf’s voice sounded from down the hallway.

“Let’s get out of here,” she whispered, leading me to the bank of elevators. Once we were inside she pointed to the ceiling covered in silver paneling that acted like a mirror. I went to work wiping the mascara that painted my face.

The doors opened and we stepped off, making our way through the lobby and outside.

“How is he doing?”

I shrugged my shoulders, shoving my hands in my back pockets as we walked side by side with no direction. I glanced at her from the corner of my eye and she looked back at me.

“Leather and Lace,” Reina said.

My feet stopped in their tracks.

“What do you know about that?” I asked, hastily.

She shook her head, reaching out she placed her fingers beneath my chin and turned my face to hers so our eyes locked.

“Just one thing,” she whispered. “Those three words kept that man…,” she glanced over her shoulder at the hospital. “…alive.”

Butterflies.

Her words gave me butterflies and my dull heart, lured to sleep by mind, beat again.

Lies.

You know the truth.

“I doubt that very much,” I whispered.

“Then how do I know about Leather and Lace?” She questioned, taking a deep breath before she ran her fingers through her long blonde hair. “I have no idea what goes on between the two of you and…I shouldn’t even be saying this,” she struggled, biting down on her lip. “Fuck it,” she conceded. “I know you and I don’t know each other long, or even well enough for you to trust me but hear me out okay?”

I nodded.

“When I first met your dad I was a woman who had given up on living a full life. I had been through hell and back and didn’t know my place in the world or if I even had one. I had scars both visible and not and I let those scars dictate my future. I thought I wasn’t worthy of sharing my life with someone and that I was destined to be alone. Then your dad came into my life and my past, the scars, it all sort of faded away. He took away my scars just by being the man willing to accept them as his own.”