Let's Be Mature About This BN (5 page)

“No. It’s something that needs to be discussed, just in case we start dating regularly.”

Gavin smiled. He was smiling because she was always trying to stay rational and mature. She was so afraid of getting hurt and she hadn’t even really been hurt before. He’d experienced being hurt and it had put him in a very dark place, so he understood her reasoning for being defensive. Besides running a shopping cart into her ankle, he was pretty sure he wouldn’t hurt her again. That is, if they were ever together. Sydney looked up and met his eyes.

“What’s so funny?” she said. He just shook his head and stopped himself from smiling. “You want to know what the ‘something else’ is that’s keeping me from a relationship with a guy my age?”

“Very much so.”

“I haven’t really been on a date with a guy before tonight because…I don’t want to waste my time. I don’t want to waste my time with a bunch of pleasantries and chivalry if a month down the road he shows his true colors and tries to get in my pants. Do you understand?” Gavin nodded. “I can’t find out a year later that I was blind for love or a fool in love. I just
will not
waste my time on that. I’d never forgive myself if I did.” Sydney looked down and played with the hem of her red dress.

“That’s the most sensible thing I’ve heard in a year and a half.”

Sydney laughed. “So then you understand why it’s not popular with guys my age.”

“When I was that age, heck, just two years ago I wasn’t that serious.”

“But you are now?”

“Yes.”

Then Sydney felt something wet on her shoulder. “Is that rain or do you have a lisp?” In answer to her question the sky unleashed its contents onto the earth. Gavin took his jacket off and Sydney accepted it to cover her head and shoulders, she accepted his hand and they ran through the downpour all the way down the boardwalk and to the awning in front of the restaurant. They were the only people who’d found themselves out in the rain. Sydney looked up at a dripping wet Gavin. They grinned at each other.

“How bad is it?” He asked, running the hand that wasn’t holding Sydney’s through the damp waves of his black hair. He frowned a bit at seeing that Sydney’s hair was perfectly dry. Sydney watched as little drops of water fell from the tips of his hair and ran down the side of his face.

“Is this how you look coming out of the shower?” She teased. Gavin smiled shyly. “I look just like this when I come out of the shower,” Sydney said. “You know I can’t be getting my hair wet every day.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, it takes a minimum of one hour to style my hair after it gets wet. Conditioning, blow drying, greasing, straightening, yadda yadda. And I can only get my hair relaxed twice a month, so I have to make it last.”

“I guess there’ll be no surprise water balloon fights, then.”

“Unfortunately.” Sydney pouted.

“This was a really good date,” Gavin said in a soft voice just above a whisper. “We should do this again real soon.”

“I agree.” Sydney beamed, “This was the best date I’ve ever had.”

“Not because it was your only one so far?”

Sydney paused and stroked her chin as if thinking. Then she shrugged her shoulders and laughed. The rain had slowed down to a very faint drizzle.

“Let me walk you to your car.” Still holding hands, Gavin and Sydney walked across the wet pavement of the parking lot, dodging large puddles until they were at her car. Sydney handed back his wet jacket.

“Thanks for the jacket, babe,” she said smiling.

“No problem, mama,” he said in a Johnny Bravo impression and made a kissy noise as he puckered his lips. Sydney laughed and gently squeezed at his hand. He squeezed back. This was the part where they were supposed to say goodbye. Neither was in a hurry to go.

“I think a hug is in order,” she said, “I think you deserve it. What do you think?”

“I think I better get some, since I paid for dinner and all,” he said. She playfully smacked him across his face. He rubbed at his cheek and pretended to be hurt. Then he tossed his wet jacket onto the hood of her car and wrapped his arms around her, drawing her close, enjoying the warmth of their closeness.

Sydney took in a deep breath and sighed trying to calm her racing heart. “I thought I was supposed to give
you
the hug,” she murmured into his chest.

“Either way, I’m happy with the outcome,” he said.

***

“Then what happened?!” Elizabeth practically squealed. Poor Sara was being bounced on Elizabeth’s knee. I feared she would suffer brain damage.

“Then he said he’d call me and we went home to our perspective beds.”

“Awww.” Elizabeth laughed. She took Sara’s little hands and clapped them together and sang “Auntie’s got a boyfriend! Auntie’s got a boyfriend!” Sara laughed with her toothless smile. “Oh, Syd, I am so excited for you. I just know you’re not going to regret this.”

“How can you possibly know that?”

“Okay, I take that back. I have a
feeling
that you won’t regret it.”

“Oh, okay, a
feeling
. Well in that case…” Sydney rolled her eyes and smiled.

***

Gavin jogged around the bend on the trail through the wooded area beside his apartment complex. The crickets were chirping in the trees, thoroughly enjoying the humidity on a Sunday morning. As he jogged he tried to think of a way he could change his work schedule for Monday and Tuesday night so that he could see Sydney earlier. His superiors had gotten used to his 24/7 availability and he didn’t want to disappoint them by suddenly backing out of things he’d already agreed to do. His bosses thought he was a motivated guy trying to make his way up the ladder. Really, he had been taking on extra projects to distract himself from other things. He made a mental note to lighten his schedule for next week.

He wondered whether he was planning too far ahead into the future. But he couldn’t deny his feelings for her; the quickening of his heart beat and the fluttering in his stomach every time he saw her, the fact that he couldn’t stop smiling when he was with her, the fact that he was smiling now as he jogged because he was thinking of her. As he came within half a mile from the end of the trail he sprint full speed until he made it to the joining of the trail to the sidewalk along the inner perimeter of the complex. As he walked to the other end of the community where his apartment was located he came to the sad conclusion that Wednesday would be the only evening he’d have free for the entire week. He walked up the steps to his apartment and went straight for the bathroom. He kicked off his sneakers and socks, peeled off his sweaty jogging t-shirt and shorts, and hopped into the shower.

Later he found himself on the couch watching Sunday morning cartoons and eating a Pop-Tart. What he really wanted to do was see Sydney, but he would definitely come on too strong if he couldn’t let at least one day pass without being in her company. Bored, he decided to have lunch with Jason that afternoon.

“So…she’s nineteen?”

Gavin nodded.

“And she’s black?”

Gavin smiled and nodded.

“What has gotten into you lately?”

“I don’t know. Jungle fever?”

Jason laughed. “That’s not what I meant. Although, I feel weird that you’re with one of my sistahs.”

“Then what do you mean?”

“Well, nineteen is extremely young.”

“She doesn't act like a teenager. She's in college, not high school. I’m telling you, she is very mature for her age. You have to meet her yourself, otherwise you won’t understand!”

“Fine. I can tell this is a sensitive issue for you,” Jason said, irked by Gavin’s tone.

“It doesn’t feel so good to have your intelligence and motives questioned by your best friend when I already know I have tons of that to look forward to from lots of other people if Sydney and I get serious.”

“Get serious? Wow. Slow down.”

“We're almost thirty-years-old, Jason. We should actually be speeding things up.”

“Don’t rush into anything because you think you should be settled down by now,” Jay warned and popped a French fry into his mouth.

“Trust me, I’m not. I just know that at this point I need to evaluate a woman as a possible life partner instead of a possible good time.” Jason responded with a snort. “Don’t you want to have a family some day?” Gavin asked.

“Naw, that’s not for me.”

“Are you sure you’re not just afraid?”

“This isn’t about me,” Jason quickly shifted the focus of the conversation and ran a hand over his cornrows. “I can’t help but think this is some sort of rebound from…”

“Don’t! Don’t say it. You think that after months of wanting to fall off of the face of the earth and almost a year of feeling like a human being again, I would suddenly decide to find a rebound relationship now, a whole year and a half later?”

“Guess not.”

“Okay then, that’s settled. Dude, I come here trying to tell you the good news about a great girl that I met and I end up…frustrated about the whole thing.”

“I’m just saying be careful,” Jason mumbled through a mouthful of Big Mac. Gavin, his appetite gone, poked at his chicken sandwich. He resigned to stare out of the restaurant window watching cars come and go through the drive-thru.

“Last night after I had dinner with Sydney, it was scary because I felt like I wasn’t going to be able to keep my eyes open on the drive home. I had to blast the radio to stay awake. I’m so sick of these side effects.”

“Think about all the good things the meds are doing for you, though.”

Gavin shrugged his shoulders. "If the medication is doing such a good job to keep me normal then why do you keep acting as if it's going to my head?"

"I just miss the things we used to do before you got your heart broken and before the depression and all."

"I'm sorry." Gavin sighed. It hurt him to think that Jay felt like his best friend had up and vanished. It was a comfort to know that Jay was the same old Jay but Jay didn’t have the same old Gavin. Gavin didn't realize how hard his best friend had taken the change. But Jason needed to grow up a bit, too. It would do him good. "You can't be the same person after you've had your heart ripped out and thrown back at you. You've never felt that. Maybe when you fall in love you'll understand."

"Whoa! Don't wish that on me! I don't want to be shackled to some girl. I like it no strings attached. I don't wanna be a marionette. I'm like Pinocchio; I want to be a real boy." The two guys chuckled.

CHAPTER SIX

This afternoon would be my second date with Gavin; my second date ever. We managed to squeeze the date in between my classes earlier in the afternoon, him having work to do over at
Impera,
and me having to work every weekday evening. It wasn’t getting any easier to calm my nerves. It’s strange, because during the actual date I’m not that nervous at all. There are butterflies in my stomach but only a few. I spend so much time beforehand worrying about saying something stupid but when I actually get there and I talk with Gavin, things go so smoothly. I was surprised to find out that I liked the physical contact of hugging and holding hands with him. I used to feel like when a guy was affectionate that way it was because they only had one thing in mind. With Gavin I could tell that there was no hidden agenda. He just wanted to hold my hand to hold my hand, he just wanted to hug me to hug me, and that was it. I really like him. This is really scary, but in a good way, somehow. 

He looked so incredibly handsome, barefoot in the sand and leaning against a palm tree. His product-free black hair was being tousled by the breeze coming off of the water. The same breeze that was threatening to blow the bottom of his white shirt up to reveal some skin. His bright white cotton shirt with brown buttons was billowing in the wind around his torso, his nice fitting tan cargo pants were rolled up to the knee, and his smile was so beautiful. And he was smiling because of me! Yay! I doubt that Gavin is this goofy when he thinks about
me
. Having a crush on someone makes me feel so juvenile. Gavin and I sort of had matching outfits, since I was wearing a white, spaghetti strapped summer dress with little red flowers along the hem and red flip flops. My hair was still in curls.