Let's Make It Legal (22 page)

“But why should we have to?” she cried, desperation pushing her. She couldn’t accept his edict that it was over between them. She didn’t know what his motives were for doing what he was doing, but she was sure he wasn’t telling her the truth. For whatever reason, he had decided this was the way things had to be. But Sydney loved him too much to just walk away. She’d never walked away from any challenge in her entire life, and she wasn’t about to start now. Especially since this challenge was more important than any she’d faced.

He turned away so she couldn’t see his eyes. “Our relationship was doomed from the start,” he said.

“No! I don’t believe that!”

He shrugged. “Whether you choose to believe it or not, you can’t change the facts.”

“The facts! John, you’re twisting everything. The thing I don’t understand is
why.”

He finally looked at her again. “The reason you don’t understand is that you refuse to see anything you don’t want to see. From the very beginning, you’ve had the idea in your mind that you could change me. You didn’t like what I did for a living, so you decided I didn’t like it, either. You wanted me to sell my house, and you never gave a thought as to why I couldn’t. And now—” He broke off, running his hands through his hair in a gesture of futility. “Oh, what’s the use. Like I said, let’s just forget it.” He smiled cynically. “It was great while it lasted. Can’t we just leave it at that?”

Sydney stared at him. Her chest heaved as she fought to control her emotions. When she finally spoke, her voice was as flat and hard as his had been. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I could never have been happy with a coward for a husband.”

He flinched.

Good! She’d finally gotten to him. “I thought by now,” she continued implacably, “that you’d have finally realized what you’re doing to your life and stopped.”

“You’re talking in riddles.”

“All right. I’ll speak just as plainly as you have, then. You’re afraid, John. Afraid of life. You’re hiding in your safe little cocoon, and you’re scared to come out. You think as long as you stay in there and take no chances, nothing can hurt you again.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” But his face had drained of color.

“I think I do,” Sydney said, desperation fueling her words. “Because I was doing the same thing before I met you, John. The difference is, I was hiding from a part of myself. Because I was afraid, too. Afraid of being a woman. Afraid of failure and rejection. You showed me I didn’t have to be afraid. You helped me crawl out of my cocoon and face my femininity.” She walked toward him and placed her hand on his cheek.

Something flickered in his eyes, and hope spurred Sydney on. “John, please, please don’t do this. I love you. And you’ve admitted that you love me. I don’t believe our engagement is a mistake. I think we can build a good life together, if only you’ll meet me halfway. I know you want to go back to practicing law. I know you’re bored silly by what you’re doing. Please, John, face it. Admit it. And come with me to Washington.”

His body was rigid as he answered her. “You’re the one who’s refusing to face the truth.”

Sydney sighed. She dropped her hand. It was no use. He refused to see. “Have it your way,” she said sadly. “But if you were honest with yourself, you’d admit I’m right.”

She made one final plea before walking out the door. She knew she was begging, but so much was at stake, she didn’t care. “Don’t throw away what we’ve found together, John. Please think about what I’ve said.”

They never did eat their dinner.

She finally left. She drove home in a daze, and was surprised to find herself in her parking garage. She didn’t remember any part of the trip.

It’s over. I can’t believe it’s really over.

It wasn’t until she was unlocking the door to her condo that she realized she was still wearing John’s engagement ring.

Sydney’s words ate at John.

No matter how many times he told himself she was wrong, that all she’d done was spout psychobabble at him, he couldn’t stop thinking about her accusations.

But she
was
wrong.

He wasn’t afraid.

He wasn’t hiding from life.

Those charges were ridiculous. He was simply trying to give his children something safe and secure. Something they could count on. Something that wouldn’t be snatched away from them as their mother had been snatched away from them.

He was building something good and solid. He was safeguarding their future.

Still, Sydney’s words refused to go away.

* * *

The following week crawled by. Sydney hoped against hope that John would call her.

Wednesday. Thursday. Friday. The weekend.

All went by with no word.

The telephone at home and at the office remained ominously silent.

Finally, on Monday, nearly a week since their confrontation, Sydney knew John wasn’t going to change his mind. He wasn’t going to call her.

She removed her engagement ring and placed it in its original box. She wrapped the box carefully and asked Norma to send it by express delivery to John. She didn’t include a note.

* * *

Sydney’s engagement ring arrived Tuesday afternoon. John stared at the box when Janet brought it into his office. He knew without opening it what was inside. He could feel Janet’s eyes as he pretended nonchalance, placing the box on his desk unopened.

“Aren’t you going to open it?” she asked.

“No.” He turned back to his computer and pretended to study the screen.

He didn’t look up until Janet left his office.

* * *

Wednesday morning, first thing, Sydney called Neil Creighton. “I accept your offer,” she said.

“Wonderful! I was beginning to worry when I didn’t hear from you.”

“I’m sorry. I had some things to work out, but they’re all settled now.”

“Good. If I can help your fiance find a job in Washington, I’ll be glad to do so. What does he do?”

Sydney ignored the sharp stab of pain that suddenly made it hard to breathe. “Thank you, Neil. But that won’t be necessary.”

“Well, if you should find it is, the offer stands.”

“I appreciate that.”

“Will you be able to start the first of April?”

“I hope so. I have to talk to our managing partner, but I think the firm will release me by then. After all, that’s almost four weeks’ notice.”

“Good. Let me know. Oh, and when you come to Washington for the awards ceremony, if you want me to, I can have my secretary line up some apartments or townhouses for you to look at. Even if you plan to buy a house, you’ll need somewhere to live while you look.”

“That’s very thoughtful of you.”

“Good. Then that’s all settled. I’m very pleased, Sydney. Very excited. I think you’re going to do a terrific job and lead the league to new heights.”

Somehow, Sydney got through the next ten days. For a while there, after she’d sent the ring back to John, she was sure she would hear from him. Finally, as three or four days passed, her hope faded, then died. A dull resignation set in. Even the upcoming trip to Washington and her much-anticipated dinner at the White House didn’t lift her spirits.

Two days before she was scheduled to leave for the awards ceremony, her mother called her at the office.

Sydney’s heart filled with dread as she picked up her phone. Something terrible must have happened. The one and only time her mother had ever called her at work had been when her father had fallen off a ladder.

“Mom? Is something wrong?”

“No. I was just hoping you could meet me for lunch today.”

Sydney hesitated. She hadn’t planned to go out to lunch. She was trying to get all of her work caught up so that when she turned her case files over to her successor, they’d be in good order.

“It’s very important,” her mother said.

They met at Brennan’s, and Sydney felt battered by the memories that assailed her when she walked through the door. The last time she’d been to Brennan’s had been with John and his children.

Her mother was waiting in the foyer. She smiled when she saw Sydney and walked over. They hugged. Helena Wells looked quietly elegant, as always, in a simple rose wool dress with her mink casually slung over her shoulders.

Once they were seated and had placed their orders, her mother said, “Sydney, I’ve thought and thought about this for days, and I finally decided I just had to tell you.”

Sydney toyed with her water glass and waited.

“Your father has done something very wrong, and I think you need to know about it.”

“What?” Sydney said, alarmed now.

“He went to see John. He told John about the job offer from the Children’s Advocacy League.”

Sydney frowned. “What do you mean?
I
told John about the job.”

Her mother spoke slowly. “Before you’d ever had a chance to talk with John, your father went over to John’s house and told him about the offer you’d received. He informed John that you were going to turn down the job if John disapproved. He also told him that if you refused the job because of him, you would regret it the rest of your life.”

Sydney licked her lips. So that was it. John had been lying when he’d said he’d been thinking about breaking up with her. He’d simply been reacting to her father’s pronouncement.

Sydney sighed. She wasn’t really surprised. She wasn’t even very angry. What her father had done was typical of his modus operandi. When he saw what he perceived to be a stumbling block, he simply removed it. In his eyes, John would be no more than that. A barrier between Sydney and the goals Sid had set for her.

How could Sydney be angry when she’d always known this about her father and loved him, anyway? Still, she couldn’t permit this kind of behavior to continue.

“Thanks for telling me, Mom.”

Helena sighed. “I love your father, Sydney, but I’ve never been blind to his faults. Still, what he’s done isn’t totally his fault. I have to bear some blame in this, too.”

“You! You didn’t do anything.”

“Yes. Yes, I did.”

“What did you do?”

“I knew, from the time you were a little girl, that your father was determined to make you into a replica of himself, whether you wanted to be molded that way or not. I knew, yet I did nothing. Even when I saw that you weren’t very happy, I still did nothing.” She reached across the table and grasped Sydney’s hand. “I’m sorry, Sydney. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have allowed him to take over your life that way. It was wrong. I-I just, I don’t know, I took the easy way out. I didn’t want to buck your father. I wanted peace, so I sacrificed you.”

“Oh, Mom...” Sydney felt close to tears. “It’s okay.”

“It’s
not
okay. I should have spoken up long ago. You never had a chance.”

“I turned out okay. Didn’t I?” Sydney bit her lip. The tears were very close. Too close. She was going to make a spectacle of herself if she didn’t get herself under control.

“You’re more than okay,” her mother said, “no thanks to me.”

Mother and daughter looked at each other.

“I love you, Sydney. Remember that, will you? I’ve always loved you and been proud of you, no matter what you did or didn’t do. And I always will.”

Sydney cried all the way back to the office. She wasn’t sure why she was crying, but for some stupid reason, she couldn’t seem to stop.

She pulled into the parking garage and parked her car. Before getting out, she twisted the rearview mirror around so she could see herself.

Omigod, she thought. I can’t go inside looking like this.

She started the car again and drove home. When she got there, she called the office. “Norma, something I ate at lunch must have disagreed with me. I don’t feel well, so I’m taking the rest of the day off.”

“Okay, Miss Wells.”

“Tell Mr. Folger, will you?”

“I will.”

Sydney washed her face and changed into jeans and a pullover sweater. Then she called her parents’ home.

Her father answered. “Hello,” he said.

“Dad? It’s Sydney.”

“How’s my girl doing?” he said, all bluff and hearty.

“Dad, we need to talk. Can I come over?”

“Sure, sure. Of course, you can come over. Is something wrong?”

“Let’s wait until I get there.”

Thirty minutes later, her father ushered her in. “Where’s Mom?” Sydney said.

“She went out for lunch, and she hasn’t come back yet. Probably shopping, or something. You know your mother.”

No, I don’t really know her. Not yet, anyway, but I plan to remedy that.

They went into his study, where he promptly removed a cigar from his cigar box. “You don’t mind, do you?” he said.

Sydney shook her head.

“So what’s this all about?” he asked after he’d lighted the cigar.

“You went to see John, didn’t you?”

Surprise flared in his eyes. “What makes you say that?”

“Please, Daddy, don’t lie to me. I know you went to see John.”

“Did he tell you that?”

“No. He wouldn’t. But I know you went, nevertheless.” Sydney sighed heavily and sank back into her chair.

Her father smiled sheepishly. “You’re not mad at me, are you, baby?”

“No, I’m not mad. But I’m sad.” Her gaze met his. “I want to think you went to see him out of love for me, but just once I wish you could love me enough to let me make my own decisions.”

“Even when I know that decision would be a terrible mistake?”

“Even then.”

She could see he was about to say something else, but he stopped. Their gazes held for a long moment.

“I love John, Daddy,” she said softly. “I don’t want to lose him.” Tears threatened again, but Sydney fought them. “I won’t be happy without him.”

“But Sydney! What about the job? You’ve worked all of your life for something like this. You can’t give it up.”

“Yes, I know. But I can’t help thinking that if you hadn’t interfered, maybe John and I would have been able to work something out.”

Her father got up and came over to her chair. He reached for her hands, pulling her up. He wrapped his arms around her and held her against his chest. “I’m sorry, baby. All I’ve ever wanted is your happiness.”