Let's Spend the Night Together: Backstage Secrets of Rock Muses and Supergroupies (41 page)

Pamela: How did you two become addicted to rock and roll? And what made you want to step into that world?

Lisa: The Bay City Rollers were my first crush. And the Monkees reruns, my God! I had it bad for Davy Jones. I remember Elvis dying and being sad about it because I didn't know him. Even at nine I knew I was supposed to. My first up close taste was a Rick Springfield show at an amusement park. I threw a stuffed animal onstage, and was ecstatic for days thinking he might actually have that teddy bear.

Patti: My parents loved rock and roll. When I was little, I knew all the words to "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida." In 1981, when I was seventeen, I got my heart broken by the first boy I truly loved. Like a bad after-school special, I caught this evil girl with her arms around my boyfriend, and she said, "What's the matter, Patti, did you lose somethin'?" My heart broke into a million pieces. Then I saw Van Halen in concert and was mesmerized. The next day at school, a freckled-faced girl told me she followed them to their hotel and met David Lee Roth. I decided my life had new purpose, and I took my million pieces and went in search of Van Halen. I followed them to Chicago and met PK, the head of Van Halen merchandising. He said, "Find the company that made the bootleg VH necklace you're wearing, and I'll give you a backstage pass." I went straight to the shop where I bought it and got the company's info. I also announced to everyone that I would be working for Van Halen someday. I didn't believe in miracles. I just knew I wouldn't stop trying until I did.

Pamela: That's an interesting angle. Why did you want to work for them?

Patti: I wanted to be a rock and roll gypsy on the road with them, and part of their world. I knew Van Halen wouldn't magically pluck me out of obscurity and ask me to work for them. I just thought, "I don't care how long it takes."

Pamela: So it worked! Excellent!

Patti: I went to Cleveland, found PK, and delivered the bootleg info. He was shocked to see me, but impressed, and I pushed for a job doing anything. The merch crew travels with the band, staying with them at the Hyatts and Hiltons in every city, and PK took me with him to Cincinatti. But, before I was hired, he called me to his room and said, "Take off all your clothes." Shocked, I asked, "Do I have to?" He said, "No, but you don't have to work for Van Halen either." It was an easy decision. I thought, "All I have to do to work for Van Halen is have sex with you?" My clothes hit the floor. It was awkward at first, but I really grew to love PK. He was rich, powerful, and he was good to me. He was also twice my age. When we finished, I thought, "What'd I get myself into?" Then he shook my hand and smiled: "Welcome to the organization." I smiled back, realizing I was right where I belonged. And this seventeen-year-old girl from Battle Creek, Michigan, had just been hired by Van Halen.

Pamela: Lisa, how did your groupiedom begin?

Lisa: It stemmed from my desire to get away from the small, suffocating town I grew up in. I lost my mom when I was thirteen. That town held nothing but death, loss, and sadness for me. And I was about to find my way out. I went to a Lov- erboy concert and saw girls from my school with passes. I thought, "Please! Those girls aren't so great." The next band I saw was Autograph, and I asked the singer, Steve Plunkett, to sign my bra. That was my first experience. I realized, "This is my ticket out of this town." I ended up sleeping with him. My first rock star. And I even spent the night.

Patti: Yeah, I never got the boot, either.

Pamela: Certainly never happened to me, dolls. So how long did you hang with Van Halen, Patti?

Patti: From 1981 to '84 I saw Van Halen play thirty-eight times. Once, on that first tour, David Lee Roth saw me waiting in a crowd for the hotel elevator. He said, "Going up, beautiful?" I literally looked behind me to see who he was talking to. My heart was racing, because I knew the "road rules": sleep with Dave, and you're off the tour, period. Besides, I was with PK. But how could I refuse Diamond Dave? So I went to his room, and he strutted around, tanned and shirtless, showing off his achingly beautiful body. I was nervously talking a million miles a minute. "I work with PK, and I love working for you." He was teasing me, bending over to pack, giving me the perfect view of his perfect ass. I said, "I wish I had some coke to offer you." He said, "Why, you want a toot?" and pulled out a sandwich bag half full of coke. He used his long pinky fingernail as a coke spoon, and gave me a blast for each nostril. I'd never done cocaine that good before. In a low, sexy voice, Dave said, "Penny for yer thoughts, beautiful." By now I had no inhibitions, and I said, "You are fucking gorgeous." He laughed, "You have a beautiful little body yourself, honey." Then he kissed me. It was so surreal, my fantasy coming true. He said, "I'm going to take a shower, would you like to join me?" Suddenly, it was the saddest moment of my life. I said, "I want to take a shower with you more than anything in this world. But I don't want to get fired." So I left. Within the hour, everyone knew I'd been in David's room. Their manager grilled me about what went on. I told him the truth, and PK defended me, but it didn't matter. I said no to David Lee Roth and got fired anyway. I went home, finished high school, and never told anyone what I'd accomplished. I learned discretion on the road, and the accomplishment meant more to me than bragging about it. I'd become a part of something bigger and more wonderful than I ever dreamed, and no high school heartbreaker could ever take it away from me. My relationship with PK continued for three tours. Then in 1984 I saw him again after my devastating breakup with guitar god Yngwie Malmsteen. I'd moved to L.A. to live with Yngwie and thought I'd found my true love. But five months later he dumped me. I halfheartedly considered suicide, then remembered Van Halen was on tour. It took me three days to get from Burbank to Providence, Rhode Island, on a Greyhound bus. When I arrived, I told PK my sad story. He said, "Tell that guy to get a real fucking name. You don't need him, you've got Van Halen." And rock and roll saved me again. [Big sigh] To this day, the smell of a tour bus or diesel fuel is an aphrodisiac.

Lisa: Once I learned how to do it, my first major tour was Motley Crue and Guns N' Roses. I met a security guard named Skunk, obviously due to his breath. He liked me and let me in. Pure luck. I sat on the bus and partied with Guns N' Roses. No sex, just hanging out. The guitarist, Izzy Stradlin, said, "Call me. My alias is Mr. Jewel. I'll put you on the list for the next show." I told him I was moving to L.A. someday, and he said, "Well, if you ever do, here's my number." That was the real beginning. I took it from there. And I rarely spent just one night with anyone, except for Def Leppard's drummer, Rick Allen.

Pamela: Wow! That must have been a unique experience!

Lisa: I went to the show and was invited back to their hotel for a party. It was getting late, so Rick Allen got us a room for the night. I really wanted Ric Savage, but he went to bed early, asking me to join him when we were done partying. Since I didn't have his room number, Rick tried to find it for me. We went to his room in search of the band's room list, but once we got there, we didn't even look for it. It was a wonderful night, and Rick was very attentive to me. With one strong arm, he easily got on top and was just so beautiful. I think his accident and recovery made him even more gorgeous. Another unique experience was with Dave Mustaine of Megadeth. I knew their manager, so my friend and I got a room in the same hotel. She wanted Dave, but the poor girl was overweight. He wasn't even going to look at her.

Pamela: Oh God, the cruel facts of life.

Lisa: Exactly. Dave Mustaine could get any girl he wanted, and he was clearly interested in me. So my friend hatched a plan. She said, "Go to his room, get him all worked up, and say you have to leave. Then I'll come in, and he'll do me!" It was really sad. Inside of ten minutes, he and I were done and went back downstairs. I told my friend he couldn't get it up and never told her what really happened. The sex was good, probably because it was quick! He was powerful, just threw me down and took me. That's always good. I wasn't really into sex back then. I tolerated it because I so desperately wanted to be with them. Sex was the price I had to pay and I gladly paid it, all night long, again and again. Rock stars are so beautiful. But even if they weren't, my motto's always been, "He's a rock star, ain't he?"

Patti: Amen! I really enjoyed the sex, but I couldn't tell you if I came or not.

Lisa: I'm sure I didn't.

Patti: The sex was love, or as close to it as you were going to get with a rock star. I was giving them my love. I just packaged it in fishnets and high heels!

Lisa: I used the smaller bands to perfect my groupie skills. If I could just give them head, I was totally into that. The sex was all right, but what made me enjoy it was who I was with. And ultimately, that they were with me. Rock stars made me realize how special I was. And I made my rounds on that'88 tour. I was with the guitar player of Savatage, who later died in a car crash. Then I was with a roadie from Dio. And according to my journal, Ken Fox, the guitar player from Jason and the Scorchers, was the best sex I'd ever had. I remember him taking the spurs on his cowboy boots and running them up and down my body.

Pamela: That reminds me when Chris Hillman told me he was going to "curry me like a fine mare." Those cowboys, eh? Luckily, you enjoyed sex, Patti. Does anyone stand out, so to speak?

Patti: On the Invasion of Your Privacy tour, I met Ratt's guitar player, Robbin "King" Crosby, in the hotel lobby. Looking up at him, I said, "Wow, you're huge! How tall are you?" In a deep voice, he said, "6'7". What about you?" I said, "5'2". That's like, a foot and a half between us." He looked down at his considerable bulge, smiled wickedly, and said, "Yeah, about a foot and a half." I laughed and said, "So that's why they call you King!" I had other preferences in the band, but thankfully they didn't pan out and at the end of the night Robbin said, "Are you coming, or what?" Well, the answer was yes, and apparently, all night long! He was an excellent lover, ridiculously good. You know how sometimes they go down on you and it gets to be too much? "Yes, yes, yes! OK, that's enough!" Well, when it got to be too intense, I tried to stop him, but he just gripped my thighs harder and sent me into another earth-shattering climax. He was a real throw-youdown-and-take-you lover with a huge dick. He was a beautiful man, with a wild mane of blond hair. He was so big, and I was just a little thing, but together we were a perfect fit. The best part was when he held me in his arms. I'd lie on his broad, hairy chest all night long. But he had terrible insomnia.

Pamela: So many of them do. Keith Moon, God love him, would wake up every hour shouting incoherent babble, and I had to soothe his weary soul.

Patti: Robbin would stay awake and hold me all night while I slept. I think he just didn't want to be alone. Later, I went to Chattanooga to see him again, and we spent another night making love and talking for hours. Again, I offered to leave so he could sleep, but he insisted I stay. I sometimes think of how terribly lonely he seemed. He was big and strong, but AIDS reared its ugly head and took Robbin's life in 2002. The official cause of death was a massive overdose of heroin, but that was just King going out on his own terms. AIDS was taking his life, and drugs had taken his soul. Despite all the makeup and big hair, the glam metal world was quite a hetero, macho scene. The guys would say, "I might be wear ing lipstick, but I can still kick your ass." AIDS wasn't even on the radar for them. And I never once used a condom until 1987. And even then it was hit and miss. But after I was with Billy Idol, I got better about it.